FOOTPRINTS OF TIME
Xx~xx~xX
EDWARD CULLEN
Xx~xx~xX
I couldn't say I knew exactly what I was looking for.
All I had to go by was her Grandmother-Pangra's dimming memories of a world of Old, a jungle filled with looming shadows and dangerous secrets. Everything veiled in decades of a mind worn out by keeping such things hidden. A world of Old…
Vampires were of the oldest possibly, but this was all according to our records. Our ego's at being at the top of the food chain.
A world of Old… that's what Pangra had referred to and of course I could not seek her out after I had made the promise to her. To her… my one and only, the last person left to reside solely in my conscious-for that was what I had after I had traded my soul for this living damnation. A conscious and only if I willed it. Only if I refuted what I was…
If I could fall under the spell of sleep, I would dream of only her. Danishka. I would dream of her small smile that never revealed any teeth… I would dream of her side-pout that meant so many things… I would dream of her dimples. I would dream of her dainty fingers and her tiny wrists…
If I could dream and I dreamt of her, then when I had nightmares it would be of my demented betrayal to my unbeating heart. Her wide unbelieving stare as I ripped apart everything we had both worked towards; her-a friend and myself-being in her life; a hidden happiness that had eluded me for decades. A taste of heaven… if I was a demon and there was no doubt that I wasn't; if I were a demon and I had been walking through hell-she had to be heaven. She had to be my heaven, a little piece of it sent to me by God as a sign of sympathy for my unending journey through this accursed living death...
How do I hurt? I hurt with the bitter despair of a thousand condemned souls… awake in our hell, alive in our death. Forced to watch as the world moves unconcerned at our loss. I would rot in this seedy motel in Rio if I were more cowardly… I would grow mould and have cobwebs around me as I waited for her years to pass and age to take over her. I would wait… as time passed.
Could I wait?
No, I had to wait. All the little fleeting thoughts of disobeying my own command had to be punished. I would not backtrack and risk losing her more thoroughly… all I could do was remain true to the one promise I had made to her. That I we would find a cure for her thirst, for her abrupt supernatural tendencies that left her human body drained-we would find out about her past.
And although Carlisle and I had not managed to analyse her blood, although we had fallen to theories and were forced to settle to hypothesised conclusions-I had to go on for her. I would figure it out…
"When will you be home sweetie" Esme asked softly. I was grateful for the millions of miles apart us… not having to hear from her thoughts how sad I had made her. My mother and best friend…
"I will come…" I began but I stopped. I could not lie to her. Would I come home… ever? What would I do once I had finished with my task in South America…?
"It's okay… just keep a phone with you and do what you have to do. I know how truly important she was to you. How irrevocably lodged in your heart she is…"
"I can't…talk…" I gasped, falling to my knees in an incomprehensible agony, a bitter pain that struck at the hollow cavity in my chest at any mention of her… any sign of her. And by the heavens, she was everywhere. Every single blue was a small fleck lodged in her varying multi-coloured iris of blue till purple and back.
Every brown fell under judgment of her silky cocoa skin. Every black lost it's richness in comparison to her wild mane. Everything was her and yet it could never measure up... it could never satisfy me and turned wickedly into a form of torture, into sadistic nuances of Danishka.
"Edward, come home" Esme begged, all pretences thrown aside. "Let me take care of you!"
"I have to go mother" I said and I cut the line.
Xx~xx~xX
I needed to be away from the city, I realised. I needed to brave solitude and stop falling to the safety of bustling sounds and intermingling thoughts; I needed to be alone. I needed to be far away. The World of Old could not be reached in Cities but to get where I wanted to be, I had to be crafty-there was no point searching in the dark when any number of humans could hold the necessary information and be used as a useful tool. What I knew was simple; I was in the wrong part of South America and for me to get where I needed to be, I had to do that inconspicuously, I couldn't afford having villagers worked up on my account. Elusive… but with a steady human contact.
"Sir…" the man insisted, reaching his hand out for me and following me through the thick crowd. "I have what you need, sir…"
"No, you don't…" I breathed stopping suddenly and allowing him to reach me. He sighed in relief, breathing heavy from the little exertion his sturdy form had to put up to keep me in his sights and I could see from his mind-I could see what he had that he prayed every man needed.
But I had no use of drugs or sex.
I had use for him however, I had use for his vermin like mind that seemed to have a knack for survival and knowing things of value-a mind that could tell I was dangerous but put it down to money. Money made people dangerous in this world…
"You sure, senor?" he chuckled uneasily, noting that this American somehow managed to remain pale in this heat, not a single sweat drop on my marble face. Noting that I was too good looking and a man of such attractiveness may want another kind of thing, may need something more…
"I need… you to tell me where your grandmother lives?" I sighed impatiently and he frowned.
"What kind of sicko are you…" he breathed, taking a step back and shaking his head. "I got two grandmothers, amigo... and I love them too dearly…"
"The grandmother who does your coke for you" I clarified. "If you could arrange for a meeting, that would be most appreciated"
"My grandmother…!" he said in fake indignation but the moment I took out the wad of bills in my pocket, his expression smoothed over. "My grandmother, amigo… she is old, man. She is ancient… maybe my sister?"
"I don't want to do that" I hissed, trying to keep my patience. Jasper had always been better at shady dealings with criminals-even human ones. I had no patience for vileness, it called out to the short tempered monster in me and this man had me retracting my initial thought for a human contact to find out on the world of Old. "And her being ancient is exactly why I have use for you and your wretchedness…"
"What you want to do, man" he asked, staring at the money in my hand. "Come, friend… we talk over there…"
I let him lead us to an ally, my mind whirling with violence for him-contemplating killing him and ridding Rio of is vileness when he had served his purpose. In South America, the aged were more wary of pale beautiful strangers-more suspicious and rightly so. It would be easier to have a willing person to talk to, to ask questions and have source out information from superstitious villagers for me…
He was thinking of stabbing me and running of with my money.
"What you laughing at amigo?" he asked, reaching behind him for his knife-which I had already taken from him.
"You" I sighed in a detached tone raising his knife in the dull street light and watching as his eyes widened in horror, his hand still searching for the blade he had tucked under his belt. "I have no time for this"
I snapped the blade easily in half with my two fingers and flung the shards in the dark ally.
"Your grandmother, I would like to ask her questions on Peru" I said coolly.
"Sure man…" he stammered, finally allowing his drunken mind to grab onto the fact he maybe in danger. "You going to give me the cash though…"
"I'll think on it" I whispered. "Lead the way…"
Xx~xx~xX
After being a monster for so long and forgetting most of what it was like to be human, one would think a vampire would be used to uneasiness and timid acknowledgments. Carlisle had corrupted me in this sense; to not want to be a monster. I suppose even if I had been turned by another, my frail humanity would have fought its way up regardless.
But it really was Danishka who had spoilt me into forgetting momentarily that I was a vampire. That I was a fiend of the highest quality. She should never have gazed up at me with such effortless trust that I began to believe I would never be false, she should never have been so eager to let me know I was good so I walked around thinking I could make a difference to something…. She should have never let me believe I had a soul… even if it was for that one second when I had made her smile, when I had made her blush-when she had made a cold form warm up from the inside out.
He leads me through alleyways, turning back to see if I am able to keep up. I am frustrated already; I know where it is we are heading naturally from his mind and these feeble pretences in a community were myths rule their minds through9 night and day is wearing on me. His every thought on 'screwing me over' annoying me exponentially and my already shaky hold on my now disrupted humanity is allowing the vampire inside me to growl for his blood. But I wouldn't taint my self with the likes of such…
I haven't hunted, I realise.
"Come on man" he repeats in English although I am right behind him-it's a habit he has, this is something he does often; lead strange men to his sisters and then mutters in Portuguese how easily I move over the dilapidated streets as though I have the route mapped out; not bothering with squinting or falling in the dim to nonexistent light.
He ducks through an opening on the side of a crumbling building, scrambling inside and the awaiting my 'panicked call' because he is sure I haven't seen his dexterous move through the little entrance. I move swiftly inside, halting my breathing when the smell of urine hits my nose torturously and appear beside him quietly.
"What are you waiting for?" I whisper and he jumps, swearing low and shaking his head.
"You quick man" he mutters. "Have you been here before?"
"Go and tell your grandmother there is a man who wants to ask her a few questions on the village she is from" I instruct.
"How do you know what village she is from" he frowns.
I picked it up from your thoughts a few days ago, I want to say. I want to tell him that he had not found me but I had lured him to seek me out with precisely placed actions. I want to mention that I had heard the fight he had with his grandmother on how she wants to return to her little hut and leave this sinful life behind and spend the rest of her few days atoning for her greed to the money they have received.
"I read it here" I murmur instead, waving the money in his face and he grumbles, suspicious but more greedy than anything.
"Come, you wait out the door…" he mutters petulantly, his unease increasing at his latent instincts awareness that he is alone with a dangerous predator in darkness. "I'll talk to her"
"And this is why" I muse to myself softly, when he disappears through a rickety door casting me one last apprehensive look before heading to pull his grandmother away from sifting cocaine "Money will always be at the top of the predatory list"
Xx~xx~xX
She sits tense in the chair, her back straight and pressed against the chair and eyes bulging out-staring directly at me accusingly and I am glad the light in the room is dimmed and casts everything in orange hues… including me. It would be most counterproductive if she were to note that I was truly as pale as death right about now…
"Good Evening" I murmur in Portuguese and she nods tersely. She thinks I am a spy for the police.
She is thin, her olive skin creased and parched with hard days and worse evenings and hair billowing weakly over her head in white wisps. Her grandson gives her grief, she thinks. She may have led him to this life-and this is part of the reason she is finding it hard to rectify the situation-but he refuses to have a conscious. Desperate times had called for desperate measures…
"I would like to speak to her alone" I say loudly, in English and Pedro jumps from behind the door, his thoughts flurrying over how I 'know things' and a slight after thought that his grandmother maybe in danger. He may have put her in real danger…
"Move from the door" I say irritated. "I will know if you are listening… and if it makes you comfortable to get back up go ahead Pedro…"
He moves after a beat and heads into the dark streets of the grungy shack-village he calls home to call a few friends to deal with me. I may be the police for all he knows. I may be a spoilt rich man with a father looking for me and if he kidnaps me; his family will be set for life…
"Margaret…" I breathe and she stiffens. "Please, only a few questions and two strange requests. It is something we are both searching for, my dear"
She peers at me, curious milky grey eyes noting that my Portuguese is flawless-along with my skin and charm and she loosens up a little, but never dispelling that I may be a cop. That I may be a rival producer out to find out how far their intricate system goes.
"I have no interest for anything but… where you are from and I think we can help each other" I sigh and then groan internally when I realise I am out of breath and will need to take in the bitter coke air of this little room if I am to talk.
"I am from a place you do not know of, young man" she murmurs scowling. "And why such a hidden inconsequential place should interest you is beside me…. it arouses my suspicion, beautiful stranger. You seek coke-mothers out, crawl through this filth into the dark pits of no man's land for tales on a stupid village…"
"A village you wish to return to" I murmur, grimacing as my nose stings exponentially, feeling the urge to sniff the air away-my senses begging me to leave the little badly ventilated room immediately.
"I do not wish to return" she scoffs. "That's why I ran away with my children"
"I don't think you ran away to be sifting cocaine till you were old and in need of a walking stick?"
"What do you want" she growls.
"I want to take you back to the village" I say slowly. "And I will be your elusive guest… and I will give you instruction on finding out a few things for me"
"Why can't you just do this alone" she hissed.
"A white man is seen as a threat by many in your village, no?" I ask softly. Now what more of a pale beautiful ghosting man…
"True" she nods her head stiffly and then snorts a little-her eyes never relenting on their paranoid scrutiny of my still form. "What will you do for me, white man?"
"I'll give your granddaughter freedom from a tyrant brother…" I breathe and I immediately realise that to give them both a more permanent freedom it will have to be in the death of Pedro.
"That mean money?" she asks in English scowling, thinking of how if they are away from Pedro's ruthlessness she can send her granddaughter to school
"I will pay for her school personally" I say steely-her eyes widen at the accuracy of her request. "Do you agree to this?"
"I… I agree" she whispers, hope shining in her eyes. "Please, soon then… not another day of this!"
Xx~xx~xX
It feels better when I am moving through this, when I still have purpose. The pain seems to intermingle with the notion that I would have brought her some form of peace. That I would have repented for ever stepping into her life and disrupting things if I clear this one mystery for her. She would never have to worry, she should never be allowed to sit and worry-worry of who she is.
I was never the most adept tracker but if I threw myself into this and used what I had-this very evil nature to benefit the good of my cause, I would surely succeed.
"Are you sure Pedro will not find us?" she asked again-timidly and then cast an anxious gaze over her shoulder expecting to see Pedro following. Expecting to see Pedro's short form bobbing over the many heads at the park-station, his oily face littered with various scars from various beatings and his thin dark hair whipping pathetically in the breeze as he sought to bring Margaret and Juanita back to were they wrongly belonged.
"You and your daughter I safe" I sighed, ignoring the ache in my throat and placing the shades over my head and bringing the large hat out of my bag. "I took care of it… Pedro will remain in Rio"
"Hmm" Margaret murmured, pausing with me as a car drove by us, her arms wound around her "You took care of it, huh?"
"I took care of it" I repeated, enjoying her ever pessimistic thoughts, more especially the way she didn't care whether or not my taking care of things would result in her grandson dead somewhere.
"He will pay for my school?" Juanita asked in Portuguese, eyeing me surreptitiously, her thoughts a tangle of blushing, hormones and wariness at this pale stranger who had rescued her grandmother and her.
"He understands you" Margaret replied smiling a little. "Yes… he had better"
"Or else…?" I challenged, smiling a little besides myself.
"You will see how crazy this old woman is" she hissed allowing me to lead her to the yellow car I had hired to take us half way through our journey; it was parked in the shade of a building like I had instructed the driver. The shade and shadows had been my ally all through the journey. The rest of the way required hiking and I wasn't sure how I was going to get around to acting human with that. I wasn't good at moving human slow for long periods of time…
But with Danishka I had wanted time to stand completely still and lock us in its sights forever.
"White Man?" the woman murmured and I saw through her mind how my face had twisted into an uncomfortable grimace-a slightly scary grimace that made Juanita hide behind her grandmother in confusion; her silly thoughts from a minute ago on how handsome I had been and how she hoped I would notice her flying out the window and replace with unease at having to travel alone with me for possibly three days.
"Call me Anthony" I breathed. "You can get into the car…"
They cast me one last confused look before allowing the driver to take their bags and load them in the boot of the car. I realised now that having the driver with us for hours would be putting a notch on my human interaction tally and I didn't want that. I didn't want too many humans remembering my face; it was okay for Margaret and her daughter who will be forever lost in their quite safe world after this…
"I'll drive" I said coolly when the thin wiry man came to me expectantly.
He raised an eyebrow, revealing a yellow smile before shoving his hands in his pockets.
"What's that?" he said smiling again.
"I am taking your car" I said slow and deliberate and his eyes widened at the inhuman chill that ran down his spine. "Of course I will compensate you…"
I reached in my pocket and gave him three hundred American dollars for his banged up yellow car. He stared at the money in his hands in disbelief and looked at my face with narrowed eyes, trying to see into the shade I stood in, trying to get a visual of my face hidden behind the sunglasses and under the large cap. He was considering making a noise about this, cussing me out as a pompous American but then I took a step towards him and removed the shades, staring into his eyes and seeing the reflection of my dark tortured soulless eyes.
"Leave" I growled and he spluttered, jumping back and shuffling through the crowd too quickly-deciding three hundred was all he would get for his car and possibly his life. It was a good deal in the end…
"Anthony?" Margaret murmured from the back seat, staring at my looming form beside the car. "How you going to drive…"
"I know the way" I cut her, moving to the drivers seat fluidly-a little too fast. "No harm will come to you under my care, I promised I would return you to your village and that's what's going to happen"
"Who are you" Margaret asked in a lost dialect of Portuguese, her thoughts twining around the options of 'who' and 'what' with regards to me.
"A harmless traveller to you, Margaret" I whispered, looking at her worried ancient face through the rear view mirror. "Nothing but a harmless traveller through time"
Xx~xx~xX
The thick tall trees of the South American jungle knit over each square metre and fill the air in cool freshness and provide the necessary cover for me to move through the day. It's beautiful, it's breathtaking in its untouched quality and rawness but that very beauty is were the danger lies in.
As it is with all things...
"Are you sure..." Margaret asks again and I smile at her. The bags are not heavy but the anticipation is... for both of us.
How reckless it is for me to travel with a human, how utterly unequivocally callous to my own anonymity as a vampire it is-but it has given me a new insight on what it means to be an atoning predator. I have not fed in a while-Pedro's blood would have been the most tainting thing to my body in this moment; I could not move side-by-side with two traumatised women with eyes swimming with the blood of their relative and glowing like a demon.
We have been travelling for two days with regular necessary stops due to Margaret's health. She would rather remain quiet and go through the aches and pains to reach the place she was born quickly-but hearing her thoughts helps me a lot. It had bothered them to a diminutive measure how quiet I was and how easily I kept up the steady pace while carrying a load that would have rendered any normal man breathless within five metres of movement. They think I am eager for this but they don't understand that the human pace we are moving is a test to my patience.
I feel like scooping them both up in my arms and simply zooming the rest of the way...
But trust is important if I want to see this through.
And talking brings trust...
"You are yet to tell me the reason you are interested Peru" Margaret murmurs, taking a swig of water from the flask and passing it to me. I drink carefully; prolonging the moment I remove the water from my lips and prepare myself for a 'refreshed' expression.
"It is personal" I sigh, wiping the warmish liquid of my chin-a little clumsiness can help a great deal in appearing human.
The few drops of water churn in my stomach and with it, my throat groans and the monster whines.
"It better..." she begins her eyes flashing, handing the flask over to Juanita absently.
"It's not drugs or sex" I say dryly and she nods-she believes me and that gives me a little satisfaction. "Maybe a ten minute rest?"
"Make it five..." she says stonily, dropping her back at the base of a tree and reaching in her pocket for an ointment she uses to ward of the many insects. "And you can tell me why it is you are trekking in the jungle..."
"I can tell you some of the story" I murmur "Because in all honesty, I am hoping the jungle with shed light to why I am here"
"Cryptic" she laughs, her eyes crinkling in many lines at the corners. "But I am interested"
"I am looking for something" I say, shaking my head when she offers the little tin with the foul smelling ointment.
"Something like what?" Juanita asks, rubbing the green jelly like substance on her arms and legs.
"I don't know" I breathe, shifting into the shade of the tree "Maybe a rare flower, a magical fountain..."
"You aren't joking?" Margaret asks "You are really looking for something... that you don't know"
"Yes" I sigh.
"Is it like..."Juanita says thoughtfully, her mind whirling with little fantasies "A magic potion to heal a lover"
I chuckle and she blushes lightly.
"Maybe..." I listen carefully to the sound of the wild-Margaret had been worried about the animals that resided in here but they knew there was greater predator in their midst. "Maybe that is exactly what it is"
Xx~xx~xX
I have travelled long enough to have a different type of awe to each scenery; a different type of appreciation to nature because I have seen it all twice over. The jungle in South America is vast; it spreads out through to so much land that one simply can't go exploring on a whim-this is a world that a conscious decision to get lost in the emerald giant foliage could only permit one to discover unknown realms.
"Almost there..." Margaret smiles "This is the middle of nowhere. I don't know how you are getting back... no cell phone reception, no other travellers... and definitely no Margaret"
"I have a good memory" I murmur.
"Would have to be iron, this memory of yours" she sighs wearily, her pace has slowed-I am surprised by her stamina with her age.
"Like stone engravings" I whisper, closing my eyes and seeing her blue ones staring up at me with undeserved trust.
"Stop!" I say quickly, tensing and dropping the backs. They pause, staring at my face in confusion but I can hear the thoughts, the angry cautious thoughts of another predator... one that had been following our scent or more precisely my scent...
"There are two..." I murmur, glancing at Margaret. If I allowed them to walk ahead, to move quickly and I remained here were the two vampires would come across me... maybe that would save them. I could apologise; blood drinkers were most ruthless with their territories. I would have to apologise and leave... through the water possibly...
But the vampires are quick and soon, they appear. I have no time to warn them, I have no time to apologise for the peril I have put them in...
Xx~xx~xX
"This is or territory" the woman murmurs, stalking me and paying no attention to Juanita and her grandmother. There is no need to worry about the two humans, she thinks I intend on feeding from them... they are just a meal... she would gladly allow me the humans if I were to leave their home immediately.
"I mean no harm" I announce, raising my hands palms up and backing away, trying not to stare at the male. He is undoubtedly human and yet... he mirrors her moves, he stands close to her and watches me with the sharpness of a vampire.
"Leave" he growls.
"You can take the women..." she says again, her red eyes flashing over Margaret's face-Margaret gasps, her thoughts a series of panicked flashes. She is in the midst of demons, she realises. I am a demon, she realises. She let a demon lure her away from the city, she cries internally. She had bargained her soul, she had bargained her grandchild... she was wading in sin...
"I was simply escorting them to their village" I state and the male snorts-it is a fluid sounds but it lacks the soft lustre vampires coat every abrupt human-like reaction in.
"We care not for your lies" she sighs "I see you are hungry, I willingly allow you the two... but leave"
"I am telling you the truth" I say seriously "I am escorting them to their village... it is only six hours away at human pace"
"We do not allow vampires in our territory" the male states "We live here in anonymity and cannot have any influx in deaths from the surrounding villages"
"I seek you no harm!" I stress. "I am searching for something... only. I won't hunt here..."
I would have told them I only feed on animals but with my eyes as black as death they would not believe me so readily and with the added anomaly of escorting humans through a dark and dangerous forest...
"What are you searching for?" the vampire woman asked.
"I... don't really know..." I breathed, looking at Margaret. She was shaking, quivering-Juanita holding her in her arms. "No harm will come to them?"
"You are the only one here who has motive to harm them" the woman states, watching me charily with her body facing the boy in a protective stance. "What do you search for"
"I don't know" I said again and she snarled "I really don't know"
"Where did this curiosity for this something start?" the male asked and if I had thought it was some sort of trickery-I was corrected. His heart was real and so was his ethereal beauty.
"My name is Edward Cullen" I stated closing my eyes and exhaling sharply "I come from a large coven..."
They panicked at that, hissing lightly; thinking I was trying to ambush them.
"No, I assure you I mean you no harm...?" I trailed off, giving them room to be familiar with me.
"I am Huilen" the woman said coolly "This is my nephew, Nahuel"
"Nahuel" I breathed unable to hide my fascination with him. "You are a vampire?"
"It matters not" he growled frowning beautifully "Where does this tale of enigmatic something's begin?"
"With a girl..." I said slowly. "A girl with blue eyes and skin the colour of cocoa..."
Xx~xx~xX
"Nahuel and I have never formally met any other vampires..." Huilen said indifferently-a lie, she knew of one vampire and others like Nahuel. She thought on other things absently, the contents of the thought lost till it re-emerged later on.
Huilen carried Margaret and Juanita's bags easily and leading the way- slightly irked at moving so slow. She was small, her arms thin and her skin much fairer than Nahuel's but the resemblance was there in the shape of their nose and hairline.
They were not bothered by the terrified humans as I was. I wanted to console Margaret on the loss of the young man she had thought she was becoming acquainted to on a personal level. No repeating of paying for college and helping Juanita calmed them; they were certain we were leading them to hell...
"Human's are not to know of our existence" Nahuel said softly-to low for the human women to hear.
"They don't know what we are" I say and then add "Or what you are"
"Do you not know of the villages in this area" Huilen snaps "They believe easily, they see and know the shadows of the trees and animals... discretion and distance is of the highest concurrence?"
"I promised I would reach them to the village" I whisper "I want it to be a promise I can keep... and I will ensure it is kept"
"We seek no quarrel" Huilen sighs "The faster we leave these humans, the faster you leave our home..."
"Understood" I murmur, glancing at Nahuel.
Xx~xx~xX
The village is small.
The huts and shacks are the epitome of organic, the air filled with nature and pollen. They almost run through the woods, leaving their bags in the shrubbery in their fear. We watch them silently for a moment, we hear their screams and insistent murmurs of demons and I realise this would only be another tale to the long list of supernatural stories the villages contain.
How many times had they been touched by supernatural beings and left alive and with a stronger fear of the devil and more veneration for heaven?
Xx~xx~xX
"I was convinced she is human" I tell Huilen but it is Nahuel I watch.
His lips twitch slightly; he thinks on this other vampire-his father-and prays Danishka is not a lost sister of his. She can't be, he wars with himself. If what I say is true... she can't be... she is too far away, he thinks. She is too human...
"Is there more to this?" he asks. "How did you come upon the girl?"
"She came upon me" I whisper "My family..."
"I have never heard of such living from vampires" Nahuel says sceptically and Huilen nods in agreement.
"You have met but one vampire..."
they stop their walking, hissing low and glaring at me.
"I spoke of her oddness..." I say slowly "Talents? I have a talent..."
"What talent... do you steal memories and secrets" Huilen accuses and I frown at the crude manner she has managed to paint my telepathy.
"I hear thoughts" I say dryly. They stare at me charily then, their lips set in an unforgiving line. "I am unable to 'turn it of' unfortunately"
"Hmm" Nahuel murmurs, resuming our too fast walking through the dark woods "My one sister has a talent"
"What kind of talent?" I ask him slowly-Huilen watches me, she doesn't trust me and fears Nahuel's blindness when it comes to his sisters. She fears that this father of Nahuel-Joham-has made another and Nahuel will-like all the other times-seek to save the poor girl from Joham's clutches...
"Persuasion" Nahuel states dryly, frowning "I have not seen her in a while. We had a falling out due to her gift and how willingly she allows J.. My father to utilise it"
"I understand" I tell him and he looks at me from the corner of my eye and smiles a little.
"The girl... is her mother alive?" he asks.
"No" I say and he frowns again "The relevance...?"
"None of my sisters nor myself have mothers" he says softly "Human's... cannot survive immortal children"
"Immortal children and what you are, are two different things" I tell him-he retained the memory of his gory birth with titanium recall and equal unspoilt guilt "A half-vampire..."
If I were not in a form of emotional coma, if I could not stop thinking of azure and soft laughs-this would have returned to Carlisle immediately. The world retained so many hidden nooks for the impossible to happen... such impossibilities would grow and weave themselves through to so many lives and change what we perceived as ordinary... and even the extraordinary would go under reformation then...
Half-Vampire...
"You are a walking impossibility" I murmur and he frowns.
"I should not exist!" he growls "This, what Joham does, is abomination and the highest form of cruelty and I pray that this girl is not part of it!"
"I pray that Joham has..." I pause, stopping in the middle of the undergrowth... my form going rigid and the memory-her memory and her nightmare flashing over my eyes.
"The man with red eyes..." I whisper-feeling a mental coldness snaking around my mind, taking in Nahuel's own memory of this father of his "It's him..."
"What is it?" Huilen asks from up ahead. She had deliberately kept her pace faster to allow Nahuel to spin out his story gently and ask his questions.
"She has seen him!" I yell and he watches me guardedly. "Oh, heavens no...!"
"No, if she had met him..." he says softly, trying to calm me "She would be his... a half-vampire that is more human? He would not let her go so easily..."
"Her grandmother moved her from country to continent..." I say fast, fisting my hair-my eyes moving over everything fast and throat constricting-I needed to feed but the fear and anxiousness was overwhelming...
"She kept her away from anything supernatural, she discouraged any odd behaviour... she deliberately moved them to the sunniest places on earth and it was her idiot stepfather who made Cindy take her away from all of that safety and bring her to fucking cloudy Forks!" I roar, all the little pieces clicking into place.
"She has a human relative?" Nahuel asks slightly in awe of the fact "A grandmother...?"
"Yes" I answer his thoughts, giving up my telepathic etiquette to allow him to voice them out "She grew human fast. She is human, as I have said-in all regards save for the thirst and supernatural episodes"
"Talia" Huilen states and I stare at her-Nahuel sighing despondently and moving away from me.
I see the woman in Huilen's mind-I see the blue eyes like lightning, I see the small nose and all knowing smile... I see the woman, this Talia and there is no doubt that the woman is the link to Danishka...
"She died" Nahuel states. "She was... my sister. The only one I stayed in contact with, she died more than a decade..."
"How did she die?" I say quickly.
"He killed her" Nahuel murmurs almost too softly for my ears to pick up. "My... father. She ran from him, she... it was before Flora's gift was fully developed to persuade Talia to do Joham's bidding..."
"She ran after meeting Nahuel and I" Huilen said detached "She wanted what we have; a family. She ran and hid but Joham is more than a skilled tracker... he found her with a human and pregnant"
"What of the child?" I ask softly and they both look at my face.
"Died with the mother" Huilen says. "It was too human for Joham... of no use... he told Nahuel this"
"You are certain"
"No" Nahuel says before Huilen can voice her yes out. "I will tell you this, stranger; the village was half-empty, Talia had warned them and she had prepared... the man I know did not survive Joham's wrath but the child... I know not of the fate"
"She gave it to someone she trust" I thought, falling back to my perfect image of Danishka and the half-vampire Talia. "She is the mother, there is no doubt..."
"The grandmother's name?" Huilen asked.
"Pangra" I tell her.
"Pangra..." Nahuel says softly "Talia told me how she may not have found an Aunt like I had, but she had a sister left to her and she had a niece. I don't know how the name Pangra fits to that"
Pangra... Pangra was Danishka's aunt. Of course... but she was Cindy's real maternal grandmother, Pangra had a daughter and that daughter had been Cindy's mother; she lied to Hector that Cindy's mother had hid Danishka from him so he would take Danishka in... So she could ensure Danishka would be better protected in a normal anonymous life...
I had no care for Joham and his sinister exploits; how could I when mosaic of emotions where fleeting through me. I didn't know what this meant, I didn't know how to handle it but the feeling of solving it weighed down the guilt I felt in hurting her.
But did this mean I would have to return to her...?
Was this reason enough when she was safe in her anonymity to the vampire world...? I wanted her safe, and I knew now I had taken the right steps to achieving that but knowing and wanting this to be the right thing, were two different things.
"It seems..." I whispered looking through the forest to the North "I have found the answer to my question and I must... return to my family"
"Yes" Nahuel breathed, before looking at me intensely-his dark eyes severe and set "But if you would understand to do one thing for us; Joham is a very dangerous being... and if this Pangra knew enough to be anonymous then she has saved the girl. We seek the same fate..."
"I would not speak you" I said.
"We keep Joham in the past" Huilen murmured as they moved back into the shadows, understanding that our counsel had ended "And would not interfere on any future that involves him; especially with his creations. So understand us when we say we want nothing to do with her..."
He agreed silently and unwillingly with his aunt's decision to keep him away from his beloved sister's child. His aunt held him in her steel arms and understood the importance of remaining as they were... without spreading beyond their territory.
"Goodbye, then" I murmured, making my way away from the jungle filled with secrets.
Xx~xx~xX
How lustrous the way of the immortally damned might seem to simple men. Beauty unparalleled, speed and strength too vast to be challenged and years upon years of conscious imitation of living to be had... how seductive such a thing might be to any being with a heart beat. A being tinkering on the edge of life with each second of existence-mortals would think that having no fear of death something of the highest gift.
I did not fear death because death had no interest in harming me. I feared living, for some time... and then I realised I wasn't alive for life to be too concerned with me either. So I feared existing. I feared it painfully and it took me over... I wandered aimlessly searching for the meaning to this form Carlisle had turned my once fragile body into. No meaning, just... purgatory and desolate complacence.
Such wallowing sadness had been intensified when our duo turned to a trio but then, unwittingly-I adjusted. Existing side by side with two who were meant for each other. Maybe my purpose had been to bear witness to such a wonderful love between Esme and Carlisle. Jealously left me-not for Esme but for Carlisle's permanent happiness-and I accepted and conformed to their happiness.
The intensity of loneliness can only be increased in the presence of company. There they were, all of them... Rosalie with her Emmett, Alice and her Jasper and my parents-and I sat singular and eternal watching how they would never be alone in purgatory. They had been broken free from purgatory by finding each other. Purgatory was for the singularly existing... not for the dually in love.
The one thing that would surely kill a vampire-let's put aside the Volturi and their quick flames-the one thing that would bring a vampire to their knees, have them weep dryly and claw at their own hard flesh... was loneliness. Isolation and detachment from all things because all things were from the natural realm... how do you touch the natural without tainting it with these hard supernatural fingers?
And you would die mentally from this loneliness... and no one would weep because they would not know you were dead. Remember, Death has forsaken you... your only escape from existence would be to challenge it and close yourself from it.
To remain still as time moved by you.
Never to breathe or walk the earth again.
Lost in an ancient forest.
A statue in some cave.
Forever.
Xx~xx~xX
EDWARD CULLEN
From all that I had learnt from my journey into only the outskirts of a deadly secretive Jungle, the truth had never been more apparent. I had to stay away from Danishka. I had to leave her small world that she and her sister had created in Forks. I had done the right thing in leaving her, I had done something true and good in letting her be in her beautiful enigmatic form.
Then what of me?
I should never have touched her conscious with the evidence of my presence in this world, I should never have sought her out and I should never have tilted my perfectly crafted sanity in this maddening loneliness with the idea that she was my saviour from existential isolation. And I didn't want to think it... it was such a cruel thing to allow to set root in my immense eternally awake mind for it would only grab hold and continue to grow...
Such a hopelessly cowardly thought to give way to and it hurt me so terribly, as the thought left my mind and travelled past the hollow darkness inside me-somewhere where my soul had resided in I imagined.
Had I not found some sort of balance inside me in this quiet purgatory? I had touched her with my presence, she had reached out and I had gladly taken her hand and led her to my secret place and she had comforted all those fears. Now, after meeting with the half-vampire Nahuel and learning of what she was and what danger I would put her in... She had turned so suddenly from 'Saviour of Edward' to 'Cruel Mistress'.
She had seduced me out of my cocoon of acceptance of isolation, I had tasted her sweet companionship and now, it was away from me and never to be tasted again.
Danishka, so innocent and unaware to this evil that you and I had performed in our equal loneliness; you have set about the steps to my madness. You have tilted that crafted sanity in this loneliness, and I would soon succumb to it...
You have made me realise that no family could shield me from that because what you gave me no other can ever attempt to measure out to in gift. I was alone. I was existing...
And it was only a matter of time before I found my little cave and died in my never decomposing body.
Xx~xx~xX
"Edward, please...!" Esme begged and I allowed my face to break into a pained grimace. Her sobs echoing in my mind even after she had stopped her crying, her pleas falling on me like blows but I had enough memory compassion after what intensity I had felt for Danishka to not indulge her and remain away from them; I knew I wouldn't stay long even if I attempted it and I knew they would not know how to handle this misery.
It would be a form of sadism on my part if I put them through that.
"No" I said after she was done crying, pleading and bribing me. "I won't come... and soon, I suspect-you will not be able to contact me, Mother"
"No" she said stubbornly and I chuckled morosely. She was very deceiving, my little mother; those doe like-eyes that had once made Carlisle feel so ashamed for having a... little male problem in quiet times, oddly enough mostly times when he was in the shower obsessing over his angel faced newborn. An innocence about her, a sort of vulnerability she exuded and she would spin it on its head by turning into a master craftsmen of guilt inducing love and dangerous mollycoddling. Not many could resist, and even now... a part of me contemplating treating her in her battle tactics.
"Yes" I whispered and she returned to her other weapon-crying and pleading that I allow her to care for me. I had no doubt she would be able to but not for long. Not this time...
"Edward, do not do this..." this was Carlisle, his voice holding that telltale scratchiness that was lost to human ears "Please"
"Are you with Alice?" I asked and he sighed. "No" he said after a beat.
"Alice, she left" he said, pausing again and then taking in a deep breath "She left without Jasper. You have hurt her, Edward"
"I know" I murmured. "If it's any consolation to the pain I have caused her, as terrible as I imagine-the pain I have caused Danishka may be greater but she will forget it with time. And to those two pains I have managed to manifest in them-the consolation lies here, Carlisle"
"Edward..." he said-dragging my name in warning and I sighed, finishing my poor apology.
"The consolation here, Father..."I said controlled "...would be that I have destructed myself"
"Edward..."
"I should have stayed away in the end" I laughed cynically and then scowled at the sight of the setting sun dipping below some building opposite the mangy hotel I was in. Some inconceivable little town in one of the sunny states. "The pain I feel will encompass tenfold any pain anyone is holding due to my... stupidity and unfortunate blunder. I will pay dearly, I am paying dearly... and I will be paying for eternity"
"No one is looking for you to feel pain!" he gasped. "We love you..."
"You don't know what I feel, Carlisle" I murmured
"Then tell me!" he said impassioned and I imagined him pacing at the other end, wound up and blurring back and forth "Come to me, son... and tell me in person!"
"I don't know... how to ...continue" I said slowly and felt the stinging in my eyes, that crushing sensation the chest goes through in times of such sadness but no tears fell.
"Where did you go?" he asked, his voice shaking in a melodious vibration "Tell me about it, this thing that has made everything turn into darkness for you"
"I went to find out about her" I said numbly "And I found out. And now I know. And it all it means is that I really did do the right thing; I really can't be with her... even as we were. I am a danger to her, not because I would harm her but because I would bring harm to her"
"Edward... son, I know you are heartbroken" he whispered.
"I have no heart to break" I said harshly. "I have a mind and emotions so resilient and permanent that this will never ever end. I will forever be in this pain. There is no cure to this poison. I am doomed"
"Edward..." he said my name like it was a rare flower, like it was already withering and dying; conviction lost because he knew me better than any other vampire. I seldom strayed from a choice made. I seldom took into consideration anyone else's opinion of such a choice.
This was done.
I was saying goodbye now.
"You are wasting this goodbye, Carlisle" I said and he groaned. "Goodbye, Father"
"No" he cried. I cut the line, stared at the phone once, already vowing to never by the technology again and crushed it into grey plastic bits, the green memory chip spewing over like guts.
"Goodbye" I looked out at the orange sky, maybe if I jumped high enough I would meet the flames of the sun in a fiery embrace and return to the earth as floating ashes.
Such idle thoughts. This was not going to be easy and once, long ago-a human lifetime had seemed as little as the seconds in a minute. But I knew, I would never be able to find my hidden cave to die from time until she had reached the limits of mortality...
And the seconds ticked hard and painful in my mind. Seconds upon minutes, giving way to hours...
Disclaimer:I don't own anything except original characters.
Authors note:this may be confusing if you have not read 'When Lightning Strikes', which has since been renamed 'Lightning'. If you haven't read it, fear not; this first lengthy chapter strives to help keep you updated somewhat as it is a series of Edward P.O.V last chapters to introduce part two; 'Thunder'.