A rather depressing fic. One-shot. Sorry it will be rather boring and drawn out: It's my first one ever! Be nice. I'm actually writing this to come to terms with some real feelings I've been experiencing. They are not like this fanfic, but the feeling of exclusion from love is something we have all identified with at some point in our lives. Whoever reads this, enjoy … or not.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Square Enix of course
It hurts. It hurts majorly when you cut me off, and shut me out. Has she become that precious to you that you can't even spend time with me anymore? I was hoping all this time, that it would progress to something more. I have been your closest friend. Why should she just turn up out of nowhere and claim your heart?
It was a beautiful summery day at the Costa del Sol, which was obviously why the gang decided to spend it at the crowded beach. These were the times that Tifa cherished most, spending these days creating happy memories with her friends, taking pictures and goofing around with the beloved members of her friendship gang. And of course not to mention, the blonde love of her life. Everyone knew that Tifa and Cloud were a bit too close to be considered just friends, yet they never made their relationship 'official'. She reasoned that he was simply procrastinating, or waiting for their relationship to become just a bit more special before announcing it to his group. After all, they were not like other couples, who were quick to announce their romance status after one simple hook up. That was shallow love and her bond with Cloud ran much deeper than a simple vanity statement.
And he was almost mine, until she showed up…
Aerith. The new girl. She joined their college four weeks ago after earning an academic scholarship into their prestigious high school. Despite being known as the girl who "transferred from the slum town" she had swiftly gained popularity among the majority of the school populace and won the affection of many of the boys. She chose to hang out with Tifa's gang: no one minded because she was a sweet and honest girl who never said bitchy things about other girls. She was an asset to the group, being naturally bubbly and outgoing. Occasionally she got into mischief within school, but no one cared because it resulted in a few good laughs. Within a mere month, Aerith had established her reputation as a funny, witty and lovable girl.
Everyone loves the funny outgoing girl. They never want the serious introverted one. Why couldn't I be different?
Tifa did not mind in the least about the new girl's rising popularity. There was no doubt that this girl was gorgeous, with her flawless skin and lustrous hair and sparkling emerald eyes. She only started to care when he noticed her. He was drawn in, by her charm and infectious happiness, and no doubt by her captivating appearance. And just like that, something sparked between them. In less than a month they had developed this bond that was more than Tifa ever had with him, despite the truth that she had known him for years.
But surely, there's nothing more going on than really close friendship? Maybe he's only paying extra attention to her because she is new? He's trying to be friendly he's always been such a good person –
"Tifa you ok? You seem really distracted today" Jessie interrupts suddenly.
"Hmm sure I'm ok" she smiles at her friend.
"Hey have you seen Cloud and Aerith lately? They are totally going to hook up! I mean Cloud has hardly been spending time with anyone else these last few weeks!" Jessie animatedly chirps.
Like I haven't noticed his absence.
Tifa smiles "I know, it's pretty obvious that they are keeping something a secret."
"They would be perfect for each other though! Everyone thinks so. I mean this Aerith is such a sweetie and so is he, plus the other girls are secretly jealous because they would look like the hottest couple in the school. Geez even I would give up something just to be in her shoes…"
Ouch. So that's it then. The truth. There's nothing wrong with it but it hurts like hell at the moment. It's like this wave of despair hitting me with one simple statement. She wins. She comes here and she wins, and I can't hate her because she has done nothing wrong. But he never said it yet … these things could just be rumors and nothing more.
The day passes, and the group members enjoy themselves. Reno and Barrett have had the time of their lives, checking out all the 'fine' chicks frolicking around in their bikinis. Vincent is a bit more conservative as he is allergic to the sun. He sits in a beach tent with his sunglasses on, reading a sports magazine or staring out into the ocean. At about 7 pm Reno suggests that the group walk to the pier to take some happy photo shots.
And so the gang proceeds, with Cloud and Aerith walking in the front, and Tifa right at the back next to Jessie and Elena. Aerith is talking animatedly and Cloud keeps laughing at the things she says.
I never made him laugh like that.
The sun is beginning to set, casting brilliant splashes of glowing orange and gold across the horizon. There is also a humid breeze, causing the girls' hair to trail out behind them. Of course Aerith's hair is the prettiest. She looks like a sports model with her pink bikini and golden streaked hair billowing behind hair. Suddenly she turns very slowly to face the blonde. They hold out their hands to each other, fingers slowly interlocking. Only Tifa notices this however, the others are too busy discussing the latest gossip. Once they reach the pier, Vincent brings out his camera and starts taking happy snaps. He requests everyone to do a stupid pose, just for fun's sake. Cloud however gives the camera a death glare. Aerith giggles and suddenly strokes his hair. In one fluid motion he pulls her into an embrace and their lips meet in passion.
"Oh my God!" squeals Jessie.
Everyone turns to look at the couple, Reno and Barrett smirk and say "hell yeah!" and other strangers at the pier turn around and wolf whistle. Elena jumps up and down in excitement and Vincent chuckles while taking the picture. To the group this is of course, a humorous confirmation of Cloud's long held affection for Aerith. Naturally the photo would be posted on the internet by morning, the school needed to know the news.
Jessie nudges Tifa in the ribs. "Didn't we know this would happen?"
Tifa laughs, a bit hysterically. A bitter feeling rose in her chest, she was about to explode in anguish.
I can't let anything show. That would be so damn selfish when everyone is cheering. As if I'd be a drama queen and ruin this happy moment, how embarrassing.
She runs of the pier and somersaults into the water. Within the four seconds underwater she is overcome by the icy water so any chance of tearing up had been diminished. Those four seconds underwater is eerie, in the silence she can hear the pain of what just happened screaming inside her mind. She breaks the surface, and swiftly climbs the ladder back onto the pier.
"Hey that was awesome!" grins Reno.
"Thanks" she replies with a wry smile.
"Hey we are going to the Golden Saucer for dinner now, we're starving after today, and plus there is a certain new couple up for a date ya know" he winks and grins.
For the first time the whole day Aerith approaches Tifa. Her face is flushed and she happily skips into step with Tifa's slow stride.
"Hey" she grins.
"Yo" Tifa replies, smiling. She gazes intently at the girl who has just won Cloud's heart, aching inside, wishing that she was her.
"Hey um, I really want to thank you for suggesting this beach outing today. It was the best!" Aerith admits, giving Tifa a hug.
Tifa pulls away a bit too soon, but that forced smile never leaves her face.
"That's OK Aerith. You know I want to see you happy, and um, I'm really happy for you. Cloud has never had a girlfriend before and you totally deserve him." Her words are genuine but Aerith notices the strangled tone of Tifa's voice, and detects her effort to conceal her agony. Her eyes widen, she understands. She gently places her hand on Tifa's shoulder.
"Hey, you are am amazing friend, and a great person you know. One day, I know you will get your own man, your knight in shining armor, and he will be someone brilliant because YOU deserve it" she says earnestly, yet she giggles at the end in order to lessen the awkwardness.
"Anyway I may get changed for tonight. I swear the wind blew the sand into my bathers. I mean my bottom bathers."
Tifa laughs along with Aerith, this is girl etiquette. Secrecy, lies, pretending that things were totally okay between two good friends when there was something so amiss. The vibe of awkwardness is still there. Both girls feel it, but it is clear who must push it away, or at least deny its existence. The winner has claimed her position; the loser must now be humble and pretend that they haven't lost a thing.
He was my knight. You've just taken him away from me.
Cloud comes bounding over, and like Aerith this is the first time he has noticed Tifa all day.
"Heyyy" he greets her with a bashful smile.
"Hey you!" Tifa replies, punching him painfully on the arm. Those two words communicate enough.
"Hey I'm so sorry about ditching you all day. I really shouldn't neglect the gang when we this is our first reunion in like, forever."
So now I've faded into just one of 'the gang'. Is that all I will ever be to you?
"Hey Cloud don't you dare berate yourself! You had a pretty valid reason to anyway, I'm sure we survived just fine without your input for a day."
Cloud grins despite himself.
"Thanks Tifa, you are the best. I know you will always be there for me, and no matter how what happens, I hope that we can still be really close friends. Just cos I'm going out with Aerith doesn't mean I'm going to forget my bestie."
His plea is earnest, and his eyes look into hers entreatingly. The pain is swelling in her chest again, threatening to burst out. However she can't cry into his chest, not now, not anymore.
Not ever. Imagine if I did though, a typical drama movie scenario. The jealous 'best friend' throws the tantrum.
Her eyes are downcast, but she knows her answer. She just can't create a scene in this given situation; everyone knows it would be selfish and melodramatic. Not to mention Cloud's hurt and confusion. And guilt. There was nothing wrong with him; he does not need to feel guilty.
"Of course Cloud. I'm always here for you."
He smiles warmly and pats her on the head.
"Thanks Tif, that's the best you can ever give me. I cherish you as my friend so much."
But you don't cherish me the most. You give a type of affection to her that I will never be part of. That type of care from you will never extend to me. You cut me off, you draw a line, which says there, now only Aerith can have me from here. And she will get the best from you. While I am left out.
He runs off to chase Aerith. The sun has almost now fully set; the sound of seagulls can be heard over the tropical breeze. Today is his perfect ending, and even the summery sunset appears to confirm it.
Today is your story, not mine.
End
Review: THERE! I finished this within an hour. Firstly I did not intend this to be a pity story for Tifa. Because in a way there is nothing to pity, this situation happens to girls ALL THE TIME. And when it happens to them (if they are not the lucky one) they know that nothing wrong has occurred. Technically they have no right to display their anger, because this is the way romance works. Someone wins and someone loses. The loser has to move on, and let the couple be. Yes it is sad, but it's the way the world is. I hope I could portray the frustrated and helpless feelings of unrequited love in a realistic way.
Unrequited
