KISS ME AGAIN
Summary: Edward and Bella have broken up, and Edward thought he could live without her. But then he realized that Bella is the one for him. "Stuttering" by Ben's Brother. EB.
Disclaimer: Characters to Stephenie Meyer. Lyrics to Ben's Brother.
Author's Note: This fanfics can serve as two things. One, it could be seen as an independent one, and two, it could be a sequel to my other song-fic "She Wouldn't Be Gone." You don't have to read the other one to get this one.
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(Edward's POV)
I can't even believe she agreed to do this. I told her that I wanted to talk to her about our breakup. I told her that something didn't feel right. I told her we needed to talk about it, that I couldn't leave without making a defense. She didn't know that I was out to get her again. I couldn't let the one thing that was everything to me. My century-long search had ended when I met Bella that day she moved to Forks. I've never wanted to kill someone as bad as I had Bella. Romantic, I know. But she was much more than a piece of prey for me. She was the only girl who resisted my mind reading ability. I was so frustrated by her and oddly enough that did it for me. I fell in love with her.
We were only in love for a few short months before things started to simmer down. She wanted something that was dangerous for her and I'd turn her down. I didn't know she took as me not wanting to love her like that. I thought I was making it clear that I only refused because of I could hurt her. I did want to love her like that, I wanted to hold her so close and really connect with her, but my strength cannot be powered with the loss of judgment by pure euphoria. I could crush her literally beneath me. And the scent would overpower me; I'm not experienced like Carlisle. I don't know if I could handle myself when exposed closer to her body. She just didn't understand.
No, I thought. I was the one that didn't understand. I missed her signals; I should've told her the truth. I should've told her that I wanted her so bad, too, but I just couldn't. I should've made a compromise and at least tried. I could have done some things so it could be easier for both of us. I should've thought more about her and held her in my arms and explained, word for word, the truth of what could happen. Not like she was an idiot, God she was brilliant, but to let her take in the full effect. I wished I had made her understand. I was stupid. I was stupid and in love, and blind to her needs and then the note came.
Edward, I can't be here. I love you more than anything, but you don't see it. You aren't giving me what I need. Please, don't try to find me. Let me let you go peacefully. One last favor. I love you.
It was sitting on the counter with a necklace and a ring laced around it. Both were present I gave her, both were symbols of my strong love for her, but it wasn't enough. It's not like it didn't mean anything to her, but she was tired of my half-gifts. She wanted me. All of me, but my overprotective self wouldn't let her have what she truly wanted. I held her at arm's length when I made sure that nobody else could get within arm's length of her. That damn Jacob Black. He swooped in when he knew our relationship was weak. He filled Bella with things like she could have a normal life with him and I was being selfish. He lied to her and said I didn't want that part of her. When I did! I wanted everything to do with Bella. I would be happy to be with her and only her forever and ever; even if it meant that I had to change her into a vampire. I want her, all of her, back!
So here I was. It was a cloudy day in Port Angeles, the park was nearly vacant, a few kids played in the grass, an old man fed the birds, and a family had a picnic. So cliché. But it fit was where she wanted to meet. I told her whatever she wanted, I'd give her and she merely scoffed at the fact. I ignored that and left my house this morning with hope and a smile on my face. I knew she may not be open to this fact, but I had to try. Bella and I are meant to be together. Alice had a vision, but she wouldn't tell me and her thoughts were some grotesque images of her and Jasper, something I immediately stopped listening to. She didn't even have a smile or a frown on her face to drop me any hint. It irked me, but rethinking it all, I felt that this was the right way. I wanted it to be a surprise; my life has little surprises with Alice around to see everything.
There she was, my love Bella Swan. But what I saw killed me. She seemed… lifeless. Something wasn't right – she changed. I did this to her. She is in pain and numb because of my stupid self. I immediately drew back and tried to give her a warm smile, but there was nothing to smile about. She wasn't happy and I was the reason. It shouldn't be me making her sad. I am the boyfriend, I am meant to make her happy even when she doesn't want to be. But I made a mistake; I did this to her. I feel so horrible. I stood slowly from the bench, realizing that my knees were weak and nervous from seeing her. The knot in my stomach tightened and I could see her try and fake a smile, but it didn't work. She couldn't fool me, I knew her too well.
"Bella." I said breathlessly, falling in love with her all over again. God, I was hopeless. Even with that frown on her face she looked beautiful. A goddess in every way. A goddess who has been hurt, Venus with a broken heart. It saddened me to see her so unlike herself, but I was happy. Maybe she came because she needed cheering up, something she knew I could do.
"Edward." She said shortly, a slight quiver in her voice. Her brown eyes looked down at my shoes; unable to make contact with the topaz eyes that melts her every time.
"I'm glad you agreed to see me." I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. I took a step closer to her wanting so much to take her in my arms, kiss her forehead, and tell her everything will be okay – I'm here. But I knew that would be crossing a line; she wasn't too thrilled about me and was hurt. I couldn't help but think that this rendezvous was hurting her more than helping her. But it had to be done; she had to know how I felt.
"Don't get used to it." She snorted stubbornly, a finger taking a chocolate tendril of hair and twirling it absent mindedly.
"Bella, let me just get to the point." I managed to catch her brown eyes with mine. And her face changed from hard, to soft, like she was about to cry. Her cheeks flushed a very precious pink and my half smile broadened. I missed her cute human ways.
It's been, it's been, it's been, it's been
su-su-such a long time, long time, long time
since anybody touched me, touched me, touched me
the way that you touch me
So if I stutter, stutter, stutter
and I feel so so so unsexy
so maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut at least until you kiss me
"I love you." I stated simply, but the sentence itself was more complex than anything any scientist could create in a lab.
"Edward, please don't do this." Her voice was cracking, I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to hurt her more, I wanted to heal her. I wanted to be back with her and mend this broken tie that should have never been torn apart in the first place. Before she could object, I swept her into my arms, running my cold hand through her hair and squeezing her as tight as possible without crushing her.
"Bella. Listen." I crooned in her small ear through thick waves of hair. My lips brushed softly against her shiny mane and I explained. "I'm sorry." Was all I could manage before my own smooth voice rumpled. It was rare for me to cry seeing as I couldn't. "I never meant to hurt you." I pulled her only a little bit away from me to look into her angelic face, tear stained and pink from hurt. I kept her hips ground against mine, loving the feeling of her being connected to me. "I want this. I want it more than you know." I said trying to keep my voice like velvet but it still poured out coarsely.
"You didn't even try." I was glad I wasn't alone on this. Tears fell over the corners of her mouth and before her own hand could wipe them from her soft cheeks, my hand caught them first. I took a tear between my fingers and let it dissolve against my cold skin.
"You're right, I didn't." I said, pressing my nose against the hollow behind her ear. "I was an idiot." I said, my lips softly brushed against her warm skin. I missed this feeling. "You should've told me." I moaned into her hair, my smooth voice riddled with cracks. "I would have fixed it had I known."
"Love doesn't work that way." I sighed against her flushed cheek, wanting to brush her lips but she cleverly kept them out of my reach, pressing her mouth against my shoulder.
"I'm sorry. You are the only one who ever deserved that part of my love. When I found out you wanted it, I didn't want to lose you because of it. I could kill you." I said, cringing at the thought of hurting her. But she didn't care, her head shook against my neck.
"You lost me because you didn't." She said, her lips found a bare piece of skin against my collar bone. My whole body crumbled, I was putty in her fingers. I fell to my knees, my arms around her waist, my face buried against her abdomen. If tears could form in my tawny eyes, I'd be crying an ocean. "Bella, I'm sorry!" I whispered with a coarse voice, my throat dry from the loss I suffered. I let her go, I made a mistake, and fixing it isn't easy. But it had to be done, even if I didn't get back together with her she will know how I felt. I don't want to guilt trip her back into my arms, but the sorrow could not be controlled. Her arms ran through my bronze hair, I could feel her muscles lurch as sobs wracked her fragile body. Her abdomen quivered as she tried to catch a breath.
"What can I do that will accept that apology?" She finally said, and I felt a sudden leap of bliss. I looked up at her face. She was smiling through the tears and I returned that favor. I stood up so fast that if I had blood my head would be flooded with the sudden elevation change. My lips hungrily found hers and I was surprised at how intensely she responded.
So kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stuttering
Kiss me again
And ease my su-su su-su su-su su-su-su suffering
Our lips moved together with minds completely their own. It's been so long since our love that our bodies have grown accustomed to have bonded this way that we couldn't control it. Her delicate fingers wound their way into the disheveled layers of my hair, pushing me closer to her. Her tongue licked my bottom lip and I opened my jaw and let her tongue roam the gums that haven't been touch by a kiss as delicious as this. My hands rested on the small of her back pressing her tightly against me, finding their way beneath her shirt and touching the bare skin that I had longed to touch since I got home that painful day she left.
The kiss would have lasted forever if it had not been for Bella's need for oxygen. I reluctantly released my lips from hers, and she held on for a short while before parting and taking a deep breath. I could feel her lungs expand and contract desperately trying to revive her body with sweet oxygen. I rested my cold forehead against hers. She was flushed pink and smiling happily, my dead heart could have jumped alive at the scent of her sweet blood. I wanted to taste her… just once. But I held myself back, I vowed never to bite my love.
She was enjoying the closeness, the little amount of space between our bodies as her breath began to smooth out and steady. I leaned in to kiss her again, but she pulled away. "Jacob…" She whispered regretfully, not wanting to deal with that. I moaned against her jaw where I had started a line of kisses.
I know I know
it's so it's so sy-sy-sy-sy-symbolic of everything
Everything that's wrong with me and you
So tell me what I'm supposed to do
Oh it's been ages since we've been really honest
but I can make ch-ch-ch-changes if you really want this
"Don't think about it." I muttered, brushing my lips softly against hers, tasting the minty fresh breath.
She gave in a kissed me once more, but pulled back with a groan. "I can't do this to him."
I nodded my head, exhaling softly against her warm skin. "I'll do it, just… not now. Okay?"
So kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stuttering
Kiss me again
And ease my su-su su-su su-su su-su-su suffering
Finally, our lips met again with just as much passion and hunger before. This time it was my tongue that pleaded to enter the warmth of her hot mouth. She obliged without any hesitation or thinking and let my tongue fill her mouth up, massaging her gums and tasting her breath. She breathed deeply through her nose, trying to keep a normal air flow so we wouldn't have to break off. If I could read her thoughts, I'm sure she was wishing she could be a vampire just so the lack of oxygen wouldn't interrupt her happiness that she hadn't felt in a long time. Finally I had her, all of her, just for me. Jacob doesn't know anything about my Bella. She doesn't belong to him; he can't make her love him the way he wants her to. Her heart can only be tied to mine much to his disappointment. But now was not the time to gloat, I just wanted to enjoy Bella's touch that I've adapted to. I will never let her leave me again. I will give her what she wants finally, I'll ask Carlisle if there's anything that could be done to make it easier so I won't hurt her. I want this; she wants this. We need this. We need to be together again. I will make it happen.
Kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stut-stuttering
Kiss me again
And ease my su-su su-su su-su su-su-su suffering
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