Away From Here
What would have happened if Cameron hadn't ended it with Chase in Airborne? Oneshot
Disclaimer- I don't own House or any of the characters. But hey, a girl can dream, can't she?
"Nice catch!" Chase thanked her. "I think even House would be impressed." The cool air hit Cameron as she and Chase left Princeton-Plainsborough. Chase beamed.
"I don't know about that." They stopped by the edge of the parking lot facing each other and Cameron laughed at the truthfulness in the statement. He looked into her eyes which were bright despite the evening upon them, and wished he could tell her how he really felt. He couldn't though, because it would ruin what they had. Cameron was about to suggest that they go back to her place and have some fun to celebrate, but something held her back. Chase had a look on his face that she hadn't seen before. Instead of studying it like she should have, she immediately asked what was wrong. He shook his head as if he were exiting a trance. Even if he did decide to tell her, it couldn't be tonight. Not before he really thought it through.
"Nothing." He said quickly, putting all of his defenses up again. "So I'll see you tomorrow?" She nodded.
"I'll be the one with the coffee." They had both been working hard the last few days while House was away, and it would be interesting to be back with him after their last case.
"Alright then, see you tomorrow." Cameron nodded and walked towards her car. On the way back to her apartment, she couldn't help feeling she had forgotten something. All the way back she listed things in her mind that she would need to have home for tonight, and it wasn't until she was in her driveway that she remembered what it was.
Chase couldn't focus. After walking to his car and sitting down he realized that there was no way he could sit in the car for 20 minutes and not go insane, so he grabbed his cell phone and keys and decided to go for a walk. It was no surprise his mind floated toward Cameron while walking. He found himself wishing that he could have more than he had with her, but then contradicting that thought. Shouldn't he be thankful for what he had? Was it greedy to want more if she wanted it to stay the way it was? But at the same time, having a non-committal relationship was tearing him apart, and it was getting very hard to bear it. She was everything he wanted, but nothing he could have.
After a lap around the building, he decided he would grab some paperwork to catch up on tonight, and on the elevator up, he found himself at a sudden realization. To end this 'relationship' with Cameron would be far better than ruining to risk their friendship. He would rather have her in his life as a friend than jeopardize it all.
The door opened, and he stepped into the fluorescent lighted room that was part of his home. Across the hall, he fumbled with his keys to open the office, and stepped inside.
Traces of Cameron were everywhere. The coffee machine, her papers, her lab coat and her desk all displayed a similar sense of professionalism and confidence. Slowly he walked over to her desk and looked at the pictures. One of her and her sister, one of her at graduation, one in front of what seemed to be her college dorm building with some friends. All were at different stages in her life, but all showed the same girl with that beautiful smile. Chase soon found himself smiling back.
On her way back to the hospital Cameron couldn't help but think of Chase. If she thought about it, the only reason she was still in this friends with benefits thing was because she didn't want to risk pushing for more. But as much as she tried to suppress the feelings she had, it was impossible. He meant the world to her, and Cameron didn't know what she would be like if she had never met him. She became sad at the thought that what they had would someday end, resulting in a never ending amount of awkwardness.
She parked and got out, striding towards the hospital with less confidence than usual, and it showed. Her posture was less than perfect, and her face looked tired. As she waited for the elevator, she wondered how the end would eventually come. Would she crack, and admit her feelings, or would he get sick of her? How would it affect the way they worked? All of her thoughts stopped when she saw a familiar face through the glass of their office.
"Chase? What are you doing here?" His concentration on a file broke and he stood up.
"I… I just had a paper to pick up." He held up the paper, hoping she wouldn't press him further. "What about you?"
"Me too." She grabbed the stack of paperwork that Chase had spotted earlier. It was silent for a moment before she let out a small sigh. She noticed that Chase had become increasingly uncomfortable in his seat before giving him a questioning look. He sighed and sat down.
"We need to talk." Chase's facial expression began to make sense. Slowly, Cameron shrank into a chair, and even slower than that, she felt her heart begin to tear down the middle. She knew those words anywhere, and had heard them on several occasions. She didn't need to wonder how the end would come, because she would get to live it first hand tonight. The terror and disappointment must have shown on his face because he looked guilty.
"Okay." Her voice was shaky.
"I just think that this has gone on for long enough. I know that any way this ends it will interfere with work, but I think it's better to finish it with House gone. I think that we need to move on and live our own lives, outside of here." His speech was lame, he knew, but he couldn't come up with anything better than that. She looked broken. Not heartbroken, but literally broken.
Cameron felt disconnected from the rest of the world. She felt like she was suddenly alone, like if you went to a movie by yourself and no one showed up. Losing something like this was like losing consciousness.
"Okay." She repeated, trying to sound nonchalant. "I guess if that's what you want." The words came slowly and painfully, and her head was screaming at her not to do it, not to let him go.
"Good. I guess." Chase stood, trying to be strong. "So I'll see you tomorrow." Paper in hand, he moved out of the office without looking back, and that was probably the biggest mistake he could have made. If he had looked back, he would have seen a single teardrop slide down her cheek and hit the floor.
By 9 a.m. the next morning, Chase was physically and emotionally exhausted. Figuring that caffeine would help, he poured himself a large cup of coffee. The warmth of the mug on his hands felt comforting, and was quite possibly the nicest sensation he'd ever felt. Somehow though, the warmth on his palms reminded him of Cameron, and the memories of the previous night came floating back. He tried to shake it off, because he decided it was the right thing to do. He moved his hand to the handle and inhaled the scent. He suddenly felt the urge to cry when he remembered one of the last things she had said before the break up. 'I'll be the one with the coffee.' She had only said that last night. They had only broken up last night, but it felt like an eternity.
Chase sat back down at the table with Foreman and attempted to look engrossed in his work, though it was no use. Foreman looked up and gave him a disgusted look.
"She's not coming in today. She told House that she's taking a personal day, which of course House wasn't too happy about." Chase looked up and Foreman asked the one question he didn't want him to. "What happened last night? I mean, you two were fine when you left." Chase sighed, contemplating how to answer this question. Should he tell the truth or abbreviate it. He could just leave it as 'I'm the biggest ass in the world and I just told the girl I love that I don't want to have any kind of relationship with her'. But of course that wouldn't be appropriate, so he phrased it differently.
"We'll, I kind of ended what we had last night."
"Duh," Foreman mocked him. "but why?"
"I…" He looked at Foreman and reminded himself that he trusted him. "I think I'm in love with her, but I know that nothing I do will change her mind about me, and having a non-committal relationship was just killing me. I'd rather we were friends this way than have it end a different way." Foreman had an astonished look on his face.
"You have got to be kidding me. That's why you two are, well," he paused, looking for the right word. "the way you are?" Chase nodded and Foreman rolled his eyes, clearly agitated. "That has got to be the stupidest decision you've ever made. I've seen the way she looks at you, Chase, and it's not the same way she looks at me. She sees you as more than a friend, and more than a friend with benefits, which is why she's not here now. It's definitely not the awkwardness that's keeping her from coming, Chase, in fact, I'll bet she's back in her apartment crying, watching Casablanca and eating a gallon of Ben & Jerry's." Chase's stomach flipped and churned. The thought of Cameron in a state over him was sad yet flattering, that he would mean that much to her. Maybe he should go see her, or call her or something. Anything to let her know that he was still there for her, and considering he had probably just made the biggest mistake of his life, it might be nice to let her know he was sorry.
"Shit." Chase responded as he turned around to leave the office in a hurry. Unfortunately, Chase didn't get very far before House came barging in the glass door.
"Good morning, ducklings! Well, most of the ducklings, since Cameron is gone." House smirked. "And since Cameron is gone, I want to hear all the details. Good, bad or juicy; Spill. Was it harsh? Was it mean? Did she protest? Was there a fight? Did she cry?" He gasped. "Oh my god. You didn't cry, did you?" Chase gave him a dirty look. "Aw Chase did you honestly think that was going to stop my constant pestering?" He gave a loud, sarcastic laugh and picked up a whiteboard marker. "We can mock Chase about his pathetic love life later. Right now, we have a case. What do you get when you cross a teenage girl and a violent boyfriend?"
"An abused girl?" Foreman guessed.
"Wrong!" House boomed and began to write symptoms on the board. "You get a girl who appears to be abused. There's a difference." Chase just looked at him blankly before sitting back in his chair. Seeing Cameron would just have to wait until tonight.
Situations like this were the reason Ben & Jerry's ice cream was invented so Cameron felt no guilt in consuming multiple pints. By about 3 in the afternoon, she had had it. This is pathetic! She thought. This is exactly why I picked him, so I wouldn't end up like this! I can't let it get to me, so I won't. Cameron cleaned up the ice cream, showered and got dressed before marching out of her apartment for work.
Ten minutes into her ride to work her phone rang, and she could tell from the ring that it was Chase. Instinct told her to ignore it, but her heart said otherwise. After a short internal argument, she decided to pick up.
"Hello?" She pretended to not know who it was.
"Hey Cameron, it's Chase." He sounded nervous, and paused when he heard the buzz of traffic in the background. "Where are you?"
"I'm on my way in to the hospital." Chase was dumbfounded.
"For what? I thought you were taking a personal day."
"I was, but not giving your boss notice of personal days is very unprofessional, and I could easily get out of my plans. Plus, House wasn't too happy that I wasn't coming."
"Oh, well, that's good." Chase was having a difficult time picking words. If Cameron was actually coming in, then it meant that everything Foreman said must me wrong. She didn't have feelings for him, she was just busy and something had come up. I was comforting, though, that he could again feel that he had made the right decision.
About 15 minutes later, when Cameron had arrived and talked to House about the case, Cuddy demanded to see House in her office. That left the ducklings alone, and when Foreman left claiming he needed to go check some test results, Chase and Cameron were alone. For twenty minutes they sat there in silence, pacing, staring at the whiteboard and making coffee. It seemed as if they were having a contest to see who would crack first. Finally Chase couldn't stand the silence any more. He sat down across from Cameron and looked at her softly.
"I'm sorry." He stated simply. "I really think, though, that this is the right choice. We should live our own lives, away from here. I think that it has gone on long enough, that it's time to move on." He saw hurt flowing back into her eyes, and the faintest speck of desperation.
"But…" Cameron took a deep breath, contemplating what to say. She knew it was now or never. "What if our lives cross away from here? What if you go your way, and I go mine, and somehow we end up together." This statement, of course, had nothing to do with what Chase had just said, but that didn't matter. He stood up and walked around the table.
"If our lives cross away from here," He repeated softly. "then maybe, just maybe, I could tell you that I love you and not be afraid of what might happen." Cameron stood, bewildered at Chase's words, and moved closer.
"You would be afraid to hear me say that I love you too?"
Chase felt the relief fill his body and smiled. Placing one hand behind her delicate neck, and the other on the small of her back, Chase moved closer. Every feeling he had felt for her over the last 3 years was spoken as they exchanged a soft glance. Then Cameron shut her eyes as his lips brushed over hers. It was a gentle love, forgiving and caring, but filled with a desire individual to them, and so long as they were together, here or away from here, that love would follow them forever.
A/N- Yay! Okay well I hope you liked it, because I had a lot of fun writing it! Please review and look for some of my other Chase/Cameron fanfics to come!