Because He Loves You
A/N: post-DH; Ron seems to be having difficulty coping and is avoiding Hermione like the plague. Hermione wants to find out why and wants to help him. Will Ron let her in, to help alleviate his pain? Oneshot.
Chapter One:
Hermione was sitting in the garden of the Burrow, leaning against a tree. She was staring out in the distance despite the fact that there was an open book in her lap. It had been nearly a week since Harry had defeated Voldemort and since she had kissed Ron. She vaguely marveled at how she always coupled these events together in her thoughts. Her mind had been such a jumbled mess since the war had ended. She had never truly expected to survive. The chance of dying were so high that she had never thought about what might happen once they reached their goal. She had been so close to dying so many times, yet... here she was. Alive and well. Well... maybe not that well. She was alive, but definitely not happy.
The reason that Hermione was sitting outside alone was because of the general atmosphere of the Burrow. With Fred gone... George stayed locked in his room, only coming out late at night and early morning to retrieve food, never saying a word. Mrs. Weasley was constantly a crying mess. Mr. Weasley was silent and stoic, never asking any questions as he usually did. Percy seemed to be the walking dead. He rarely spoke and always had a blank look in his eyes. Ginny was often found crying, but it seemed as if Harry was always there trying to comfort her. The rare occasion that he was not, then Ron was there for her. Ron... Ron was different from the rest. He didn't visibly show his despair. He seemed to be the only Weasley that had yet to break down. He always seemed to be there for any given member of his family. To anyone else, it would appear that Ron was perfectly fine. But Hermione was not anyone else. She could see the pain that his eyes held when he thought no one was looking. She could see the way that he seemed to walk heavier, as if there was a great weight on his shoulders. She knew Ron, and she knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to be strong. He wanted to be strong for his family, so that they could have something constant in their lives. He was being their rock.
And it was tearing him apart. Hermione could tell that before long he would fall apart and be beyond repair. He would break and never be the same again. She kept trying to help him. She wanted to help him more than anything. He wouldn't let her. He kept pushing her away and was avoiding her at all costs. It was tearing her apart. It made her think that everything that had happened in the past year meant absolutely nothing to him. That every touch, every look was just in her imagination. It made her think that he wanted to brush off their kiss and pretend that it never happened. And that was the last thing she wanted. She had realized at some point in time that she was in love with Ron Weasley. She didn't know exactly when she realized this bit of information, but she knew, looking back, when she had fallen in love with him.
She had fallen in love with him the day he defended her from Malfoy for the first time. When he had defended her and ended up vomiting slugs for her.
Suddenly, she was broken from her thoughts by a familiar voice. "Hermione?" she turned to look up and saw that Harry had joined her. "Mind if I sit?"
"Go ahead." Hermione said. He sat next to her and Hermione stared ahead, knowing that his eyes were on her. She felt as if she were an exhibit in some zoo. This had been one of the reasons she had left the house for the solitary of the garden. Everyone looked at one another blankly, and it was driving Hermione insane.
"He's having nightmares, you know." Harry said in a quiet, hesitant voice. "Ron, he keeps waking up in the middle of the night. Sometimes he'll be screaming."
Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke, knowing that Harry would not laugh at her or scoff at her fears. "He won't speak to me, Harry. He won't even look at me." she tried to bite back tears but she could feel her eyes stinging. "Did I... did I do something wrong? I just... I need him, and I thought... I thought he needed me too." she spoke so quietly she was sure that he could have only just barely heard her.
"He does need you, Hermione." Harry told her, trying to find a way to comfort her. He became shocked and slightly frustrated when Hermione shook her head vigorously and covered her face with her hands. Slowly, with great hesitancy, Harry slipped an arm around her shoulders and tried to quiet her tearful sobs. He felt quite angry at Ron in this moment, wondering why in the world his best friend was being so thick. Even he could tell that Ron and Hermione loved each other. Why in the world was Ron hurting her like this? She didn't deserve it. Neither of them deserved it. They deserved each other. Harry knew that for the entire year they were on the hunt for the Horcruxes, Ron had been worried that Hermione didn't love him the way he loved her. Hadn't Ron told him that all was fair in love and war? Wasn't that as good as confessing he loved Hermione? It was. So why in the world was Ron pushing her away when she had shown that she loved him too? Harry didn't know, but he would make sure that it didn't last any longer.
"He does need you." Harry whispered again. "I don't know why he's pushing you away, but he needs you. He's falling apart without you. You need to help him, Hermione. Just keep pushing at him until he lets you in. You know he will sooner or later."
She sniffed loudly and uncovered her face, wiping away the tears that stained it. "Why? Why would he let me..." she trailed off, unable to speak further, cut off by a sob that welled up in her throat.
Harry looked down at her kindly, his face slightly amused. He waited until she looked up at him before speaking. "Because he loves you."
Hermione blinked and her face morphed. Harry vaguely realized that the only time he had seen her look more vulnerable or afraid was after she had come back into the tent, soaking wet and tears running down her face informing him that Ron was gone. Tears streaked her face now, unmasked unlike before because of the lack of rain. Her eyes were red and puffy but looking at him with such obvious hope Harry couldn't help but grin.
"Does he really?" her voice was choked and tearful.
"Yeah, really.
Hermione was standing nervously outside of Ron's bedroom door. He had vanished into the room after dinner, saying nothing to anyone. Harry had assured her that he would make sure everyone left them alone, leaving her time to speak with him privately. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. She should turn around. There was no way he could love her. No possible way. She was only Hermione Granger, after all. Plain old Hermione Granger always immersed in a book. Why would Ron Weasley care about her?
"Because he loves you."
Harry's voice rang through her head and she remembered how Ron had kissed her back and had held her tightly. How he had been so kind and thoughtful to her for the past year. How he had screamed himself hoarse when she was being tortured and how that was the only reason she wasn't in St. Mungo's with Neville's parents. With this in mind, she knocked tentatively on the door. When she received no answer, she opened the door a crack.
"Ron?" she asked, wondering why his room was so dark. The only light came from a dim, glowing orb that she knew came from the Deluminator. "Can I come in?" For many moments silence reigned. Then, she heard a voice so unlike his. It was quiet and sad and seemed to be defeated.
"Come in." When Hermione opened the door she had to bite back both a gasp and tears. Ron was sitting by the window and he had a dead look in his blue eyes that made Hermione feel as if she were falling down a well. They were also red from crying, but his face was just as emotionless as his eyes.
"Ron..." she whispered, wondering how he could have gotten so bad in the hour since dinner. The hour it had taken her to work up the courage. The hour where Harry had been giving her meaningful looks.
"Do you need something, Hermione?" he asked, not looking at her. She tried not to cry at the way he was speaking to her. His cold, unfeeling voice seemed to pierce her heart. She desperately wanted to answer that she needed him but she knew it would not help things.
She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but it would not leave. When she spoke, her voice seemed choked even to her. "Harry told me you've been having nightmares." She stood awkwardly away from him, wanting to draw nearer but unable to move her feet. She could only watch as he gazed out of the window, not really seeing what lay beyond it.
"I'm fine." he said, his voice still calm and forced. Hermione was at a loss. She always had an answer for everything. She always had a solution for any problem. Now, though, she was at a complete loss. She didn't know how to help him. She could feel frustrated tears welling up in her eyes. Why the bloody hell was he pushing her away? Why wouldn't he look at her? She needed to know, even if the truth tore her to pieces.
"Why won't you look at me?" she whispered, unable to keep the desperation from her voice. "Why won't you speak to me? Why are you avoiding me? Why are you pushing me away?" Tears were now falling freely down her face and she was trying to control her sobbing. She sank down on Ron's bed and tried to muffle the sounds escaping her throat by covering her hands with her face, hunching over. More than anything in that single moment, Hermione wanted Ron to come and wrap his arm around her as he had done almost exactly a year ago. When she spoke again, she wasn't sure if Ron could even hear her.
"Why won't you love me?" she could say no more for many moments and did not dare look at Ron in case he had heard her. "Do I mean so little to you?" she spoke more loudly now, but her voice was still barely more than a whisper. "Why, Ron?" she asked, now daring to look at him. He still faced the window, silent and unmoving. She nodded to herself and managed to swallow the lump in her throat. "Fine." she whispered. She stood up and slowly made her way to the door. "I understand now. You don't need me." she could not keep the tears out of her voice and desperately tried to stop more from falling. She let her hand rest on the doorknob. "I'm going to get my parents. I'll leave tomorrow." Just as she was about to turn the handle and leave, she heard an unintelligible mumble. "What?" she asked quietly, not wanting to hear anything he had to say. Wanting to leave and wallow in her despair.
"I said that I do need you." he whispered, his voice in her ear. Hermione spun on the spot and was met with Ron's face. He was standing less than a foot away from her and Hermione wondered how he had possibly gotten so close. "I need you, Hermione, but... I-I don't want to hurt you."
Hermione looked up at him, scared and excited by the way he was looking at her. "What makes you think you'll hurt me?" she asked, her voice choked and her mouth dry.
He looked down at her, pain evident in his eyes and gently caressed her cheek, brushing away her tears in the process. "I already have." his voice was quiet and full of so much emotion that Hermione thought he sounded as if he might break down at any moment. "All I can do is hurt you." Hermione closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, relishing in the way his hand seemed to mold itself perfectly against her cheek. Then the comforting touch was abruptly and inexplicably gone. She opened her eyes to see that he had backed away and turned from her. Slowly, she moved forward and wrapped her arms around his middle, ignoring how he stiffened at her touch. She rested her chin on his shoulder, having to stand on tiptoe to reach it.
"Hurting me is not all you do." she whispered in his ear. "You make me laugh. You make me smile. You make me feel special. You make me feel safe. And even if you do hurt me, you don't mean to. And even when you do hurt me, you always make up for it. Please don't push me away, Ron. I need you." For a long time, the two just stood in the same position. Then, as if he were afraid she would vanish, he turned and wrapped his arms around her. He bent his head and buried his face in her neck and hair, his shoulders shaking with sobs. Hermione ran her hands through his hair and rubbed soothing circles on his back.
"Sorry." he whispered, pulling away slightly but keeping his arms around her. Hermione gave him a small smile and reached up, wiping the tears from his face and stroking his freckled skin.
"Don't be. Everyone needs to cry sometimes." she said. "Especially with everything that's happened." Ron nodded and was suddenly looking at her with a strange look in his eye. She shivered slightly, because his gaze seemed to pierce her very being and see right through her. It seemed like he could see through all her masks and defenses. It was as if he could see all her fears and insecurities. He was looking at her in such a way she could not help but kiss him. She drew herself even closer to him and stood on tiptoe to reach his lips, steadying herself by resting her hands on his chest and shoulder.
This kiss was so different yet so similar to the first. It was slower now, not having to show the desperation and fear of what may happen to them. Instead, it showed contentment and love and hope for the future. Yet, Hermione still felt her knees go weak as his lips moved over hers and his tongue probed her mouth. She still had the feeling of complete wholeness and sureness that as long as she was here, in Ron's arms, she was perfectly and completely safe.
Neither knew how long the kiss lasted. It could have been hours, years even, which passed them by nonchalantly as they were immersed in each other. They never wanted it to end because they felt as if they were whole for the second time in their lives. But soon they had to separate to breathe in desperately needed air. Hermione kept her eyes shut, savoring in the feeling of Ron's hand on her waist and entangled in her hair. She felt his forehead press gently against hers.
"Stay with me." he whispered. "Don't go. Stay."
Hermione smiled softly and opened her eyes. She gently brushed his cheek and ran her hand through his hair, loving the feel of the soft, red locks running through her fingers. "All right." she whispered. Slowly, they walked to his bed and lay down next to each other as if they'd been doing so for a lifetime. Ron wordlessly opened his arms and Hermione let her head settle comfortably on his chest, her bushy hair tickling his neck and chin.
"Are you really going to Australia tomorrow?" he asked, his voice slightly choked as he tightened his grip on her, as if he could hold her there with him.
Hermione listened to the steady beat of his heart, growing sleepy even as she answered. "No, I don't think so." she said quietly, snuggling closer into his warmth. "I have to go soon, but not tomorrow." she hesitated before speaking again. "Are you alright, Ron? I mean... really?" she knew that he understood she was speaking of Fred.
He swallowed the lump in his throat before speaking. "I... I don't know. Sometimes I'm fine, but then... other times I just want to... I-I feel like I'm going crazy..."
Hermione drew circles on his chest with her fingertips, fight off sleep. "You'll be okay." she whispered. "Everyone will be okay. With time..." she sighed contently. "And I'll stay with you until then..." And suddenly, she was no longer capable of fighting off sleep. Her eyes slid closed and she knew no more.
A sudden burst of bright light made Hermione shut her eyes tighter, trying to block it out and enjoy the warm feel of someone's arms around her and their breath tickling her neck. Then, she felt someone poke her shoulder.
"Hermione! Wake up!" she recognized Harry's voice even through the fogginess of her sleepy mind. She opened her eyes sleepily and saw him standing over her by Ron's bed, a huge smile on his face. Vaguely, Hermione noticed that sometime in the night she and Ron had shifted position. She was lying on her side, facing Harry's camp bed with her back pressed against Ron's chest, his arms around her and snoring softly in her ear.
"Morning, Harry." she said with a yawn.
"Yow two worked things out then?" he asked, unable to suppress his wide grin. Hermione answered with a soft smile. "Well, Mrs. Weasley says breakfast is ready. Wanted me to wake Ron. She doesn't know you're in here."
Hermione nodded, wanting to close her eyes once more. She spoke once more to overcome the temptation. "Thank you."
Harry's grin morphed into confusion. "Er... you're welcome? W-what exactly am I being thanked for?"
Hermione smiled again. "If you hadn't talked to me yesterday, I don't think I would have been able to face Ron."
Harry shook his head. "You would have sooner or later. Probably would have hit him over the head."
"Thank you anyway." Harry smiled and left, most likely to find Ginny before breakfast.
Hermione carefully attempted to turn over with Ron's arms still around her. When she began to move, however, he tightened he hold on her and pulled her closer, burying his face deeper into her neck. She sighed, a smile on her face, and she stroked his hand gently which was resting on her stomach and whisper his name. She heard him mumble and bury his face in her neck and hair even deeper; she managed to turn over in his arms and stroked his face. Softly, she kissed his cheek, his closed eyelids, his forehead, his nose, his ear, until he opened his eyes and kissed her full on the lips before closing them once more. She could feel his fingers caressing a bare patch of skin on her waist, where her shirt and moved. She moaned softly into his mouth, loving the feel of his lips and hands on her. He broke away from her lips and began to pepper her neck with kisses.
"Morning." Hermione whispered softly, running her fingers through his tangled, unruly hair. He grinned at her and began to kiss all over her face as she had minutes earlier.
"G'morning." Ron whispered in between kisses. Suddenly, the door opened and Molly Weasley entered.
"Ronald, it's breakfast time, didn't Harry wake-" she broke off when she saw Hermione in bed with Ron, his lips still pressed gently to her jaw bone. Suddenly, both Ron and Hermione were enveloped into a back-breaking hug. They could feel the older woman's tears fall from her face. "Oh this is wonderful, simply wonderful!" she exclaimed before releasing them and leaving the room. Ron and Hermione looked at each other in surprise.
"Well, she took that well." Hermione said, a smile beginning to form on her face. Ron nodded, shock etched onto his face. Hermione grinned and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before disentangling herself from Ron's arms and standing. "I'll see you down at breakfast." she whispered, kissing him on the forehead before sweeping out of the room.
Hermione woke and reached out blindly in the dark, surprised to find she was alone. She rose from her bed and padded into the hallway. Listening closely in the silence, she could hear a soft, familiar, murmuring voice. She followed it and found her husband standing in the middle of the nursery, holding an infant to his chest, mumbling sweet nothings to the child. Hermione watched the scene with a soft smile on her face, wanting to brand the image in her mind forever. She stepped forward and gently rested one hand on her husbands shoulder, letting the other brush through her daughter's red, wispy curls.
"Did I wake you?" Ron whispered. Hermione shook her head and smiled down at the little beauty in her husband's arms. The infant looked up at her with soft, inquisitive eyes. Her eyes.
"She okay?" she asked in a whisper.
"Fine." he told her. "Rosie here was just getting a little lonely. Weren't you Rosie?" he asked the baby, looking down at her. He smiled and turned to Hermione after the sleepy infant smiled up at him. He looked down at his wife with a look of pure love in his deep, blue eyes. He bent his head and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her deeply. "I love you." he whispered. Suddenly Rose let out an indignant cry, scolding her parents for not keeping their full attention on her. Ron kissed the crown of Rose's head gently, whispering, "I love you too, little one."
THE END
Okay, there it is! I have to say that I am quite proud of this little one-shot. Also, I will unabashadly say that the title and line that is derived from it was inspired by the episode Through the Looking Glass of LOST when Jack tells Kate that he loves her (the line is: Because I love you). Although, it is not plageurism because I didn't realize how similar it was utnil AFTER I had written it and was typing it up. Anyway, please review! Constructive critism is absolutely adored! Keep in mind that there will most likely be stupid grammar errors because I did not have this betaed.