Crack Head Reports
"On today's top stories, an army of demonic ninja bunnies attacked the Tokyo Dome on Tuesday. They were being lead by the oh so sexy Gin Ichimaru and his adorable lieutenant Izuru Kira. Ichigo Kurosaki along with Hanatarou Yamada and Toushiro Hitsugaya are currently working to exterminate the cute lil mosters." The news lady, Soi Fong reported on T.V.
"Who comes up with shit?" a twenty two year old Rukia Kuchiki questioned out loud. It had been a long time since she had heard such ridiculous stories. They were as stupid as the ones Nanao Ise and Momo Hinamori made up in the Soul Reaper Academy.
"In other news, Byakuya Kuchiki, the sexiest captain and the very sexy Renji Abari are at it again. This time they bombed Russia with the help of Kenpachi Zaraki a.k.a Kenny. The Russian army is fighting back, playing a deadly game of Rock. Paper. Scissors and failing miserably. Byakuya, Renji and Kenpachi's accpomplice, Yachiru is a pro at the game." Soi Fong continued.
"Oh my gaa! That is total bullshit!" Rukia growled in her living room.
"This just in," started Jyuushiro, "Hawaii is being invaded by mutant penguins. It's not clear as to why they are attacking yet…"Rukia changed the channel.
"We'd like to introduce two top reporter, Nanao Ise and Momo Hinamori. These stories are amazing!" the talk show host, Rangiku smiled sitting across from them.
"Thank you. That means a lot." Momo grinned.
"It's really an honor. I never thought that we, of all people would be reporters. It's all thanks to a girl we knew in the academy. We jut wanted t osay thanks for pushing us to do our best, Rukia." Nanao looked at Momo, "how do you think she's doing?"
"I bet she's doing just fine." The girls gave fake smiles. Rukia screamed at the top of her lungs. Her life was horrible. She was a waitress, still single and living alone in a small one roomed apartment. She threw the remote and the power flickered off as lighting flashed across the sky and the thunder rolled.
End.