I do not own TORCHWOOD: I do however adore it

Just a little fun *snorts with amusement at the thought.*
Enjoy it!

Scenes and Refrences used:
Meat: 2x4 - Deleted scene (you know which one I mean)
Adam: 2x5 (I know he doesn't remember Adam)
Day One: 1x2

Review if you want =) Love you all! xD If I could hug you I would!
Apologies for spelling and grammar mistakes I might've missed! But seriously who cares about those??


Ever since joining TORCHWOOD Ianto had discovered some unusual things.

1) The Hub had some many different twists and turns he never knew where he was going to end up.

2) Myfanwy had grown so attached to him that she actually allowed him to clean her nest was she was still in it.

3) The Rift always spat out interesting
one day it might be Weevils the other some artefact with symbols written on it.

4) Owen was actually a pretty nice guy after a couple beers.

5) Gwen meant well but she just didn't understand like Flat Holm Island. What good would it bring showing the love ones their missing friends and family members in a state of screaming for 20 hours, seeing darkness and just being overall sick.

6) Tosh was the easiest to speak to out of all the others she just needed a bit of coaxing.

Because of all these things Ianto had become aware of different things such as:-

The endless harassment he endured from any male he encountered.

Those being:

1) Captain Jack Harkness and his bloody 51st Century pheromones (Frequently)

2) Captain John Hart with his pet names (Eye candy?)

4) Not really a form of harassment but deserves to be counted as one.
Evan from Breacon Beacons groping him and one of his sick family members trying to make him some form of pet for their own pleasure.

5) And Adam after filling him with those memories he got a lovely kiss. Which in Ianto's book counts as harassment.

Ianto tapped his finger on the filing cabinet in deep thought looking back at the endless Jack Harkness.

He liked a man in a suit and red cap

He gave Ianto the fateful stopwatch which involved them both doing things which might've been illegal in most countries and possibly planets.

The time he caught Ianto and Ianto went and mentioned the measuring tape:

"Make my day-

Ahem.

... Rhys should we arm him?

Hell no he's hot headed enough.

Like stags butting antlers I half expected you to get the measuring tape out.

Who do you think would win?"

The man had no problem with public fondling not that Ianto cared but still...

He wasn't in any position to actual compare although he was sure Rhys would not be swayed by any passing advances Jack made.

Even though Rhys did make the one mistake in saying:

"So rather than cock things up I found you a way to get in but if you can't handle that big boy you can stuff it!"

The fateful mistake was saying cock and possibly big boy was a cause. Any sort of word which involved sex was a turn on for the man. Sort of like that sex addicted alien Gwen released except for the turning partner into dust.

He shook himself before picking up a file and putting into the cabinet before sighing he must have some sort of sign where it said: Give it your best shot.

He didn't hear the door closing but he felt the presence, Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist and pulled him close. "We're all alone."

Ianto breath caught when Jack's fingers slid teasingly towards his trousers tracing the edge before pulling his shirt out and stroking his stomach. "The others have gone out." he murmured as he heard the clink of his belt, the pop of the button and slid of the zipper down.

He swallowed as Jack's expert hands slid inside.

Deep in his sub-conscious Ianto made a report:

Harassment #4564

Culprit: Jack Harkness

Place of Harassment: TORCHWOOD HUB: ARCHIVES

NOTE:

TO AVOID FUTURE HARASSMENT GET A BELL FOR ALL OFFICE DOORS AND SECURITY SYSTEM.

BUT BLOODY HELL HE KNEW HOW TO USE HIS HANDS.

MAYBE I COULD LET HIM OFF AND NOT MENTION IT...

His thoughts went blank and Jack turned him around and kissing him with so much passion he thought he might set on fire.

Note to self:

Never try to stop a 51st Century man when he has a mission...