Ivy Watson was dumb.
Unbelievably dumb.
She was one of the slowest people to grace the earth.
But for where she lacked in brain she made up in sweetness, it was if God noticed how stupid the girl was and, instead of changing it, he overdosed on kindness.
It was hard not to love her; she had that charm only innocent foolishness gave off.
With these thoughts in mind it won't surprise you that John had some misgivings about inviting his younger sister to stay with him until she could locate an apartment that wouldn't evict her for hiding strays.
But thought of her staying under the bad influence of Harry drove him to say
"Come as quickly as possible."
…
"No."
"It's too late now Sherlock, she's staying whether you like it or not."
"She is so dull, it's a surprise we don't all have an I.Q. of -10"
Ivy had arrived not 45 minutes ago and Sherlock hated her with all his being.
In his mind she was more annoying than Anderson and that was saying something.
The hatred wasn't just because her intense stupidity, although that was the main force, it was her way of talking; high and fluttery, and the way she looked; black hair, big watery brown eyes that usually had a confused look to them, her consistent Hello Kitty or One Direction or puppy tee-shirt and her sparkly makeup.
All three of those mixed together mad Sherlock want to jump off a building.
Sherlock's train of thought was interrupted by Ivy's yelling
"JOHNNY I'M MEETING KAYLA AT THE CAFÉ I'LL BE BACK 5."
"Thank god." Sherlock thought "That idiot is gone."
…
Sherlock Holmes was not a happy man, due to the fact John didn't want to leave Ivy by herself (He feared the bomber might make her his next victim) Ivy tagged along on the case they were investigating;
Carl Powers shoes. John, Sherlock and Ivy were sitting in a cab on the way back to the flat; John and Ivy were having a quiet conversation while Sherlock was in his mind palace. At least, he was attempting to be in it but Ivy's voice annoyed him so it finally drove him to say
"Will You Shut Up!?"
"Sherlock." John said in a warning tone
"You don't like me do you?" Said Ivy slowly
"I'm surprised you have enough brain capacity to figure that out." Said Sherlock sarcastically
"Sherlock!"
"That's probably 'cause you're so smart and I'm not very com-pe-tent." Said Ivy who sounded out each syllable of competent.
"Enough from both of you." John said, rubbing his temples, annoyed with Sherlock for not having a heart and Ivy for having too much of one.
…
"Can I help?" John asked hopefully "I want to help, there's only five hours left."
When Sherlock still didn't respond, John rolled his eyes and checked his phone that had just gone off
"It's your brother, he's texting me now. How does he know my num-?"
"Must be a root canal." Sherlock said cutting John off
"Look, he did say 'National importance'."
"How quaint." Sherlock said without a hint of amusement
"What is?" John asked, confused
"You are, Queen and country." Sherlock said with a snort, Ivy walked out of the guest room with a slightly peeved expression
"What's your problem?" He asked, wanting to use whatever annoyed her for his own gain
"What's your problem?" She asked, then seeing Sherlock and John's shared looked of mutual surprise, she apologized "Oh My Gosh I'm SOOOOOO sorry." In that annoying flutter, Sherlock just rolled his eyes
…
"Janus cars, John" Sherlock stated "The god with two faces?" John asked
…
"Just in case John doesn't pick up." Said Ivy with her annoying flutter; she passed him a piece of paper with her phone number on it.
As soon as she was gone Sherlock threw it out.
…
"Oh I LOVED her telly show." Said Ivy while Sherlock rolled his eyes at her and continued to search for info on Connie Prince.
…
"That poor old womannnnnn." Said Ivy with a drag at the end to signify she had started crying again.
…
"The paintings a fake." Said Sherlock with much certainty.
…
"Did you give Mycroft the plans yet?" John asked his friend while he was in a good mood; Ivy was out meeting some friend she called Sebby.
"Yep, he was over the moon. Threatened me with a knighthood, again." Sherlock said
…
"Got you a little 'getting to know you present'." Sherlock called to the empty pool "That's what's it all been for isn't it. All your little puzzles, making me dance; all to distract me from this."
A door opened near Sherlock and John Watson walked into view with his huge parka
"Evening."
Sherlock eyes widened in shock at the sight of his best friend, was John Moriarty?
"This is a turn up, isn't it Sherlock?" John stated woodenly
"John? What the hell-." Sherlock started but then was cut off by John
"Bet you never saw this coming." John stated "What would you like me to make him say next?" He then undid his coat to show bombs strapped to his torso. "Gottle o'gear, Gottleo'gear." John remarked while Sherlock looked around
"Stop it." Sherlock stated to the pool
"Nice touch this, the pool, were little Carl died. I stopped him," John grimaced "I can stop John Watson to; stop his heart." His voice broke slightly
"Who are you?!" Sherlock called out. There was a sound of a door opening on the other end of the pool.
"I gave you my number." Said a female voice that was deep and menacing, but had a touch of faux playfulness to it "Thought you might call."
Sherlock's jaw quite literally dropped when Ivy Watson stepped into view with words that quiet clearly ones of her own creation,
John recognized the voice and worried for his sister who was, in his mind, strapped to bombs too.
"Is that a British Army Browning L9A1 in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" by this time Sherlock had got himself back under control,
"Both."Sherlock pulled out his gun, pointing it at her. The woman continued to walk across the length of the pool
"Its official today, you know, just got it changed, Ivy Moriarty. Hi." She stopped while she sang the last word slightly
It was now John's turn for his jaw to drop, Ivy continued to move towards them
"Ivy? Ivy, John's dumb little sister? Did I really convince you I was that stupid? Then I suppose that was rather the point." Ivy said with a menacing smirk, noticing Sherlock's slightly confused smile "Don't be silly someone else is holding the rifle, I don't like getting my hands dirty."
Sherlock noticed, along with fact that she was speaking like a normal psychopath; she was wearing a black designer suit, heavy black eye makeup and bright crimson lipstick.
Sherlock disregarded that his heart was beating faster to the fact she could have them killed with a single word.
"I've given you a glimpse, Sherlock, just a teensy glimpse of what I've got going on out there in the big bad world. You see I'm a specialist, like you." Ivy said with relish
"Dear Ivy," Sherlock started earning a look from John, just because she turned out to be a complete psycho he still didn't want Sherlock hitting on her.
"Please will you fix it for me," Continued Sherlock "to get rid of my lover's nasty sister? Dear Ivy please will you fix it for me, to disappear to South America?"
"Just so." Ivy said chuckling
"Consulting criminal. Brilliant." Stated Sherlock with a hint of respect towards Ivy
"Isn't it? No one ever gets to me and no one ever will." Ivy shook her head, slightly wistful
"I did." Sherlock said while cocking his gun
"You've come the closest, but now you're in my way." Ivy said back to her menacing self
"Thank you." Sherlock said
"Didn't mean it as a compliment." Ivy frowned
"Yes you did."
"Yeah, okay I did." Ivy finished with a shrug
"But the flirting's over Sherlock, Mommy's had enough nowww." Ivy smirked while John shuffled uncomfortably
"I've shown you what I can do, cut loose all those people, all those problems, even thirty million Quid just to get you to come out and play. Now take this as a friendly warning, my dear, back off." She said the last sentence so seriously, Sherlock might have gulped slightly "
Although I have love this little game of ours, playing John's little sweet sister, playing stupid, did you like the touch with the Hello kitty?" She switched back into playfulness
"People have died." Sherlock protested
"That's what people DO!" Yelled Ivy making the water in the pool move,
"I will stop you." Sherlock stated with certainty
"No you won't." Ivy said with the same certainty
"You were right." Sherlock stated to John.
Ivy crept up behind John and said in a mocking tone
"You can talk Johnny-boy go ahead."
John curtly nodded at Sherlock
"Here you go." Sherlock surrendered, holding the missile plan out to Ivy
"Oooh the missile plan." Said Ivy, grabbing them and kissing the little memory stick
"BORINGGG I could have got one of these anywhere." And she threw it into the pool; John took the opportunity to grab Ivy around her throat and yell
"SHERLOCK, RUN."
Ivy started laughing
"GOOD, VERY GOOD"
"If your sniper pulls that trigger, Ivy, than we both go up."
"Isn't he sweet? I can see why you like having him around, but then people do get so sentimental about their pets. And so touchingly loyal," Ivy cooed "But… oops, you've rather shown your hand there, Johnny."
a red dot appeared on Sherlock's forehead, Sherlock; realizing what was going on, sighed and waited for John to let go of Ivy,
"Gotcha."
John's eyes widened comically and he put his hands up and backed away. Ivy fixed her suit jacket and brushed with her hands
"Westwood." She said with a hint of pride.
"Do you know what happened, if you don't leave me alone, Sherlock, to you?" Ivy asked, shifting gears slightly
"Let me guess, I get killed?" Sherlock said with an impatient annoyance
"Kill you?" She made a slight disappointed face "No, don't be obvious, I mean I'm going to kill you anyway someday, no no no, if you don't stop prying, I will burn you."
She continued in absolute confidence "I will burn the heart out of you."
That's when John fully realized what his little sister was; he had been hoping this was just the real Moriarty using her somehow, or a trap Sherlock came up with. But now? Now it was clear; she was a monster.
"I've been reliably informed I don't have one." Sherlock retorted ignoring the small part of his brain that muttered "Just her presence is proving you wrong." The worst part was the voice of that subconscious was Ivy's.
"But, we both know that's not true." Ivy said with a terrifying intensity,
"Well, I'd better be off." She said slipping back into her playful menace "So nice to have a proper chat."
"What if I was to shoot you now, right now?" Sherlock asked with a hint of challenge
"Then you could cherish the look of surprise on my face," She made a ridiculous over the top surprised O face "Because I'd be surprised, Sherlock, I really would, and just a teensy bit… Disappointed, and of course, you wouldn't be able to it cherish for very long,"
"Ciao, Sherlock Holmes." She said while walking to the side door of the pool
"Catch. You. Later." Sherlock called after her
"No you won'tttt." Were Ivy's parting words. Sherlock waited 2 seconds before running over to John and pulling the bomb jacket off him.
"That was terrible, seeing her like that." John stated slightly out of breath to Sherlock
"Uh- Huh." Sherlock muttered while rubbing his gun to the back of his head, trying to figure out why Ivy affected him the way she did.
"That, uh, thing you, that you did, that you offered to do; that was good." Sherlock thanked him awkwardly
"I'm glad no one saw that," John stated, Sherlock looked confusedly "You, ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk."
"That's all they ever do." Sherlock chuckled.
Everything was fine, at least, until the sniper dots reappeared,
"SORRY, BOYS. I'm so changeable. It is a weakness with me, but to be fair to myself, it is my ONLY weakness! You can't be allowed to continue, you just can't. I would try to convince you, but everything I have to say has already crossed your Miiiind." Ivy sang happily
Sherlock looked over to John who nodded.
"Probably my answer has already crossed yours." As Sherlock said those words he turned around and pointed his gun at Ivy, who smiled sweetly, then he lowered it to the coat filled with bombs.
Ivy's head oscillated to the side and she looked at Sherlock with a smile, Sherlock gave a hint of a smile and was about to pull the trigger.
Suddenly the song Staying Alive began to ring throughout the pool.
Sherlock turned to look at John questioningly who shrugged and turned to Ivy, who had closed her eyes in annoyance and asked
"Is it alright if I get that?"
"Go ahead, please. You've got the rest of your life." Sherlock insisted, Ivy pulled out her phone and answered it
"Hello? Of course it is, what do you want?" She stated and then mouthed "Sorry." To Sherlock who mouthed back "It's fine."
"SAY THAT AGAIN." She yelled suddenly, after listening for a few seconds "Say that again, and know if you're lying to me I will find you and I will skinnnnn you… wait."
She took a couple of steps toward Sherlock and John "Sorry, wrong day to die."
"No? Did you get a better offer?"
She smiled a sly smile and looked down at her phone
"You'll be hearing from me, Sherlock." And she walked away towards the back exit and started to talk to her phone
"If you have what you say you have, I'll make you rich. If you don't I'll make you into shoes." She snapped and the snipers backed off.
"What happened there?" John asked
"Something changed her mind." Sherlock stated