Disclaimer: THE HP SERIES IS NOT MINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha, oops about the caps lock.
A/N: …-sigh- Hi… WOAH that rhymes! SIGH! HI! SIGH! HI! Anyway....... HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I'LL DO IT!" The loud cry suddenly burst forth from the awesome lips of 'The Dark Lord Who Failed To Kill A Little Kid And Was Too Lazy To Deal With The Hyphens', who then jumped out of his armchair and spread his arms out.
Wormtail looked up at the snake lord in confusion. "What are you talking about Voldy…Uhh…I mean Master…?" His cheeks colored as he thought of the kinky implications behind the name Master.
Voldy gave his most faithful, ugly, ratty rat-servant a huge, toothy grin that threatened to split his face in half. "Whats-his-name…Oh yeah, Potter…I won't Avada him," Voldy declared happily. Lucius, who had had his head buried into the depths of yet another erotic novel… err… I mean information text, looked up at Voldy.
"But you HAVE to kill him Moldeybutt," Lucius pointed out, closing him book on him finger and using his index finger to keep his place… he was right in the middle of a particularly interesting…scene.
"NO! Forget the damn prophecy! I won't Avada him!"
Lucius blinked… "Prophecy?"
"Oops." Voldy blushed but ignored the fact that his most faithful not ratty servant heard that. "I don't wanna use Avada! What if the backfires again like all those fanfics prophesize?"
"Voldy…"
"SHH Malloy!"
"It's Malfoy!"
"SHHHH! You're distracting me from my rant. I need to get to my point already otherwise Potter might bust in while I'm talking and distracted and we'll all explode and die by spontaneous combustion."
"But-"
"SHUT UP YOU SON OF A BIT-"
Lucius jumped up growled at his master- trying to ignore the kinky underlying connotation of the perverted word. "Don't finish that sentence."
Voldy hrumphed and folded his arms over his chest. "Fine… Anyway, I wanna kill him in a cooler way that won't have it backfire on me, add another scar on his forehead, and have me once again bodyless."
"Huh?" Wormatil added in.
"What do you think about death by anger…like if I get him mad enough to get a blood vessel to pop?" Voldy suggested, after scratching his chin for a moment.
"Or you could scare him and hope he gets a heart attack," Wormtail added, finally understanding where Voldy was going with this.
"Or I could show him Lucius's wand and he'd die laughing."
It took a second for the comment to register and for the flush to spread across Lucius's face. "IT IS NOT SMALL!"
"DENIAL!" Voldy yelled with a evil laugh before prancing away to go play with his evil dolls.
A/N: SIGH HI SIGH HI SIGH HI –snicker-
Hey peoples. Wuzzup? Yeah, another WIP, but this is mostly to let off steam and have fun. These are fun to write in classes, especially when I have daydreams about stabbing the teacher. Anyway, I already have about 5 or so different scenarios of Voldy's epic fails written out on paper. I just need to type it out…
Actually, I've been writing these for like a bit less than a week…I just haven't had the time to type them out… I have homework starting back up, and along with that, my grandpa is in the hospital for an open heart surgery (he's supposed to be coming home tomorrow or the day after that) and my other grandparents are in Canada for a wedding and so they can't take care of my baby bro, so my mom is working from home so that she can watch him, and a family friend from NYC just flew over so that he could help out with taking care of my grandpa, AND, it's a certain someone's birthday tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEE! Happy early BDAY larrythestapler! (maybe for a bday pres, you guys might read an review her fics. –hint hint poke poke-.
Anyway, I'm going to try not to slack on my posting anymore and try to get some of my things finished.
Please reviewwwwwwww! I'll post the first lame epic fail attempt soon!!!!!!! Spread the love. –smiley face-
XOXO
Flame
PS: I ramble too much. Hehe anyway, I'll update this randomly... as I already said, its more to let of steam and have fun rather than being anything serious...