This is my first fiction, bare with me. Reviews appreciated. If you like (or hate) it enough, I might (MIGHT) write a second chapter.
"…Egypt!" Ron finally finished. Startled awake by the sudden silence, Harry quickly sat up and attempted to rub sleep from his eyes. "So what do you think?" Ron asked eagerly. Harry looked helplessly and Hermione who (no big surprise) had been taking notes on Ron's long-winded speech about ancient Egypt. Harry, however, had fallen asleep somewhere between the words "do you want to hear about it?" and "well, let's go back 1,000 years." Hermione smirked at him.
"Uh…it's great!" Harry said.
"Great? Great?!" Ron asked incredulously. Harry quickly opened his mouth to explain, but Ron continued without missing a beat. "Harry, Egypt is amazing! Awesome! Incredible! Not just 'great.'" Hermione smirked again. Quite suddenly, the bus pulled to a stop.
"Okay, everybody out!" Mrs. Wesley called.
"You'd think we'd never been here the way she's acting," Ginny muttered. Hermione smiled. Everyone rose and exited, stretching. Standing in front of them was a huge mass of stone.
"Uh…wow!" Harry said. He looked at Hermione.
"It's a pyramid, Harry," she sighed exasperatedly.
"Right," Harry said, "just testing you."
"I know you were," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. Ginny just stared at him.
"How did I fall for someone so stupid?" she whispered to Hermione.
"Like I would know? I ask myself the same thing everyday!" she hissed, indicating Ron who was currently trying to lift the pyramid off the ground in an attempt to show Harry the inside. "You can't lift up a pyramid, Ronald."
There was a sudden buzzing noise over head. Harry, Hermione and the Wesleys all looked up. A round, disc-like object was plummeting towards them.
"OH MY GOD! I UFO!!!!!!!!!" Ron screamed. He ducked behind Hermione.
"If it's identified as an unidentified flying object, it's technically not an unidentified flying object," Fred pointed out.
"You know, Fred, I was thinking exactly the same thing," George agreed.
"Which would mean, of course, that there truly is no such thing as a UFO," Fred continued.
"And this from the people who didn't finish school," Ginny said. As they were speaking, the now identified unidentified flying object had descended to the ground. They all looked at it. When it didn't move for sometime, Ron turned to Harry.
"I'll pay you five Knuts if you go touch it," he said.
"I'm not touching it! You do it!" Harry cried. That seemed to spark a reaction. The hatch opened causing Ron to once more duck behind Hermione.
"We come in peace!" he cried at the silhouettes descending the ramp.
The first figure out was a girl. She had mahogany hair and as far as any of them could tell, was quite human. Hermione started forward.
"Stop!" Ron hissed, "she could be wearing a human suit."
"Oh, Ronald," Hermione sighed. To the girl she said "My name is Hermione."
"Hi!" she said, cheerfully and humanly enough, "I'm Bella." Just behind her had assembled the rest of the occupants.
"Well hello, Bella." George strolled, or more accurately strutted, forward. A boy disengaged him self from the others and put an arm around Bella protectively. Harry cocked his head to one side, he knew that face.
"Cedric!!!!!!!!" he cried. There was silence followed by the rest of Harry's friends making various exclamations of surprise.
"Um, sorry, you must be thinking of someone else. My name is Edward," the boy said smoothly.
"Psht, no, you're Cedric," Harry snorted.
"No, honestly, I'm Edward," the boy who may or may not have been Cedric replied.
"Okay, it's not funny anymore, Cedric," Harry replied stubbornly.
"It was never funny, because I am not Cedric. Whoever the heck Cedric is," Edward/Cedric said.
"No. See, you received brain loss. You must have hit your head very hard when you fell. See, your name is Cedric Diggory and Voldemort killed you. You were seeker on the Hufflepuff quiddich team at Hogwarts. Your girlfriend is named Cho Chang. You were killed after the Triwizard Cup turned out to be a portkey and took you and I (I'm Harry Potter)—"
"You and me," Hermione interrupted.
"Took you and me to a graveyard and then Voldemort killed you. And that's the story," Harry said without missing a beat. The boy had a look that clearly said this boy is crazy.
"No, see, my name is Edward Cullen and I was adopted by Carlisle and Esme Cullen. My girlfriend is Bella Swan," he indicated the girl next to him, "and I have no idea what half the words in your story were."
"Ooooh. Good cover," Harry complimented. Edward dropped his head into his hand.
"I have an idea!" Ron cried. Everyone ignored him. "No like seriously, this makes sense. I have and idea!"
"Hey, Fred?" George asked. "Did you hear that funny noise Ron was making?"
"Why yes I did George. I believe it sounded something like an actual sentence," Fred replied.
"A miracle!" George exclaimed. "Mother did you hear that?! Ron made a complete sentence!"
"Be nice!" Mrs. Wesley reprimanded the twins.
"Aren't you going to congratulate him, mum?" Ginny asked innocently.
"Hey!" Ron cried.
"Oh, no, he's back to monosyllables," Fred said sadly.
"Pity. I didn't even finish recording the time and place!" George said.
"Mum! Can I say my idea?" Ron asked.
"I'm not sure, Won-won," George said in a high falsetto, "can you?" Ron glared at him.
"I've had it with you!" he snarled.
"Oh my goodness! Two in one day!" Fred exclaimed.
"What are you going to do? Give us a detention?" George taunted. Ron opened his mouth, his face a glorious shade of purple.
"Ahem," Harry said, interrupting, "may we get back to the problem at hand?"
"Yeah, you just wasted, like, a page of space!" Hermione said.
"Really?" Fred asked. He retreated a few lines to check. "She's right, we took up 17 whole lines, George." George rewound a little to check as well.
"Cool! Hey! Does this mean we can go back to any line we want and re-write anything we don't like?" he asked.
"NO!" came a powerful voice from atop the pyramid.
"Wow, cool trick," Hermione complimented an unseen person.
"Ahem," Harry said, interrupting, "may we get back to the problem at hand?"
"Did you just cut and paste that?" Hermione demanded of no one.
"Is she always like this?" Bella asked.
"Yeah, just ignore her," Ginny advised.
"I protest!" Hermione cried, "Erase those last lines!"
"Ahem," Harry said, interrupting, "may we get back to the problem at hand?"
"Yeah," George said, "we're wasting space."
"Take that up with the author," Hermione grumbled.
"Ahem," Harry said, interrupting, "may we get back to the problem at hand?"
"Okay, Harry, what else do you have to say?" Ginny asked.
"I'd like to hear Ron's idea." This comment was greeted with silence.
"I think Harry and this Cedric imposter person should duel it out. A rock-paper-scissors championship," Ron said after a beat.
"Seriously?" Hermione asked once more of the invisible, non-answering person, "that's what you came up with?"
"I like it!" Harry cried. "If I win, my story is right. If you win, you're story is right."
"Okay," Edward smirked. The two of them raised their fists. Rock, paper scissors…
"ADVADA KADAVRA!!!!" Harry shouted. "I WIN!!!!" Edward – well, now Cedric – fell like a sack of rocks.
Hope you enjoyed it!