You walk over to the machine and sigh. You know you shouldn't do this; Kanaya will kill you if you guys don't disappear from reality first but damn it all you don't give a fuck. You are Karkat Vantas, and you are going to warn him. You have to stop him from dying all those horrible deaths. Your collapsing and expanding bladder based aquatic vascular system can't live for much longer knowing you could have stopped all his pain. Even if all the times you two shared are forgotten and lost, it will be for the better. You start up the machine and set it for a certain spot in him timeline; even though this machine has been notoriously unreliable you hope you even land in John's timeline. You press the finally button and you are transportalized away.
You are John Egbert, and today, some person just appeared in your room. "Hey!" You greet the random person with grey skin and nubby, candy corn colored horns. They greet you strangely and you reply with "My name is John Egbert! What is your name?" He looks at you with confusion contorted in his face.
"John? Oh my gog, I'm at the fucking beginning of your time stream! Gogdamnit!" He stomps around and you just sit quietly in your desk chair, unsure of what to do. He looks back at you again, "John, are you fucking sure you don't know me?" You are so confused, how doesn't this guy know you? You give him a confused look.
"I don't, do you know me?" You pause then ask quickly "What's a time stream?" He just shook his head and you goofily grinned at him, showing your slightly bucked teeth. And he just stared at you.
"Yes, I know you, oh my gog; I am so not explaining this again. It's Karkat, I will fucking ask you again, are you sure you don't know me?" His voice was starting to get frantic and his eyes staring you down felt weird, like you did something wrong.
"I don't know you… Sorry, am I supposed to?" he throws his arms up in the air and continues to pace the room, and you continue to watch in silence.
"I am getting real tired of explaining this bullshit." He paused, and exhaled. "Look, all I want to say is don't play Sburb, please." The pleading look in his eyes made you uneasy.
"Why not?" You ask, tilting your head slightly.
"Because if you do, you will die and I don't want to watch you die again, I just fucking don't…" his voice trailed off as your eyes widen in shock.
"I'm gonna die?!" You exclaim, starting to freak out. He nods and you pause to briefly contemplate the situation. "Wait… So am I dating you? Is that why you don't want me to die? You are a girl right? 'Cause you know, I'm not a homosexual." You smile like a dork yet again.
"I am not what you would call human. I'm a fucking different race than you, I'm a troll." You just stare at the crazy thing in front of you as he folds his arms and closes his eyes, shaking his head. "But by terms that your tiny think pan can handle, I am male." You get up from your chair and pace around a bit.
"A troll? Different race?" you stop to think then you smile, chuckling lightly, "good joke Dave, stop fucking with me bro." That seemed to enrage him more.
"No gog damnit! Don't even talk about that douche Strider." He throws a small flailing fit. "This is one of the times I am not fucking with you John!" When he stopped flailing about in such a cute manner he stared at you with his dark eyes and you stopped smiling at the fact that this is real, this guy isn't lying.
"Oh… so you're serious?" he nods. You back up a few steps, "this is…" you pause and take in a large breath, "So COOL!" You grin wildly at Karkat as he slaps his hand to his face.
"Why did I expect anything different from you John." He shakes his head for a moment before returning his focus to you. "Anyway, don't play Sburb. Just don't fucking do it."
"But…" You begin to protest, "Dave, Rose and Jade all want me to play it with them." You scoff, "I'm sure I won't die." He walks over to you and grabs you by your shirt.
"No John, don't play, you have to listen to me when I say don't because I've seen you die…" his grip loosens and he hangs his head to where you can't see his eyes, "So many fucking times now…" You choose to stay silent while he gathers himself up again and releases you with a light shove and began walking back to where he was standing earlier, still hiding his face from you, his voice was barely audible, "And I can't handle it on top of everyone else dying."
"Karkat, I have to play!" you pause, finally processing what he just said. "Who's everyone else?"
This time his voice was more to a normal level as he turned to face you, "All of my friends. They are all dead, except for Kanaya who is a fucking rainbow drinker. I'm not even sure if she can die; but that's not the fucking point. Don't play Sburb." You shake your head.
"But my friends need me to; I can't let my friends down!"
"If you play they will also die, you have to make sure they don't play either if you want them to fucking live." He said flatly.
"But they told me that we will have to play it if we want any chance of saving Earth!" You argue. He puts a hand on your shoulder looking at you straight in the eye, and you swore there was a red tint in the onyx in his eyes.
"John, playing this game destroys your planet. You can't save it if you play." You look away solemnly as he pulls his arm away from you. "You will only ensure the destruction."
"But…" You argument dies on your tongue as you sigh in defeat. "Fine, I will talk to them; but there are no guarantees!" You look back at him, waging your finger as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
"You have to stop them from playing at all costs. Even though I will be creating a paradox by doing this I'm saving your gogdamn ass." You smile awkwardly and scratch the back of your head.
"Thanks then, I guess…"
"You're fucking welcome John." You both sat in silence for a while before you broke the silence.
"How do you know me so well?" You're genuinely curious now that you've sat and thought about it, and he just scoffs at you.
"More like too well. I know you like shitty movies with Nic Cage and you can't seem to get enough pranks on me," He pauses for sad reflection "or I should say you couldn't with past tense emphasized." You can't believe your ears at his blasphemy, SHITTY movies?
"Nic Cage is amazing! He does not make shitty movies!" You argue valiantly. He just folds his arms, like he isn't surprised at all at your argument.
"He plays in shitty movies." You gasp and draw away from him.
"Lies!" You point and start shouting. "You're lying!" he merely paces away from you, talking to you with his back facing you.
"I don't see why you have such strong feelings for the man, he isn't even that attractive." He turns to face you. "His movies are shitty and you will never be able to convince me otherwise since you forced me to sit though the torment of watching all of them! I don't know how you managed to get Vriska so smitten over him." He grumbled the last sentence.
"Who is Vriska? She seems like my kind of girl!" His eyes widen and a sort of anger seems to be growing in them, "YOU on the other hand don't seem like you could be my bro if you hate Nic Cage so much!" He all but blew a gasket and took hold of you by your shoulders.
"John. JOHN. You have NO idea what me and future you fucking went through! We did disagree on basically everything BUT I still felt red for you and you fucking know what? So did you!" He paused and released his grip but didn't move his hands. "And don't say that about Vriska, she almost killed us all."
"Oh…" was all you said as he removed his hands and took a few steps back from you. There was an awkward moment of silence before you asked "What is feeling red?" Karkat smirked at this and you grew a little worried.
"A human would foolhardily call it love but it's not really that. Love is a human emotion, we trolls don't have love…" He paused briefly. "Then again, we didn't have friendship until we met you humans so any rules have been thrown out the fucking proverbial window at this point." You stared at him blankly, unsure of what to say.
"But, I'm not a homosexual…" dribbled out of your mouth before you could think anything through.
"I know." He stated, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes to a sort of glare, "As you kept telling me. You kept calling it a fucking 'bromance' and just kept using 'bro' as a euphemism to everything we did together. You are the fucking mayor of no homo island with all the no-homo people under your No Homo management. Fuckass." He added at the end. Something made a sort of click in your brain and it through you into a reverie for a few moments before you spoke again.
"So… I'm a homo?" you ask quietly and he opened his arms pointing in your general area.
"Looks like SOMETHING on that greasy think pan of your sizzled!" You pause for a another few moment, which seemed to tick tock away so slowly before you dropped down to the ground and curled up in a ball like a girl who just witnessed something so horrendous that threw her into the greatest shock which will forever change how she views the world.
"THAT IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!" You scream, he just turns his head away with a scoff, giving you a side glance as he spoke.
"I'm SO sorry I fucking upset you with future news but GUESS WHAT, fucking grow up." He looked down, shaking his head slowly, "Why is it so bad to be, as what you fucking refer it to, a 'homo'? We trolls never had need of such words or titles. We just felt what we felt and moved the fuck on with life." He stopped for a second and the voice was almost inaudible to you, "You never seemed to cope with that fact until the day you fucking died for the last time…"
"Then kill me because I need to cope!" You shout desperately, and he turns heel-toe to you with new found anger washing away a sort of pain in his eyes.
"Fuck no! The whole POINT of me doing this was to make sure you DON'T die!" He sighs, lowering his voice to a calmer level. "Look, if it will make you feel better, know that if you stop you and your friend from playing that game, all the interactions between me and you never happen. You never become a 'homo' and you can live your pathetic life on no homo island where you feel most safe." He places a hand on his forehead, covering one of his eyes in the process, "Goddamn Egbert, you are really fucking thick." Silence engulfs the two of you; you sit there watching him, wondering what must have happen between you two to cause him to do this. You ponder for a while before coming to a wrenching conclusion. You are un-equivocally a homo.
"But…" your voice was barely above a whisper but Karkat almost jumped out of his skin at the sudden noise. "If I am a homo, I should be who I am…" Karkat looks at you with his face contorted with confusion.
"I thought you didn't want to be a fucking homo." His voice was rather quiet compared to his naturally loud voice.
"I don't want to be…" You awkwardly grab your arm, then look at him from his spot across the room, "but if it's who I am…" Your voice trails off for a minute before you regain your voice again. "I will be a homo if that is who I am." Your voice ever so confident, emphasizing your point by stomping your foot as a gesture that you are putting your foot down.
Karkat pauses with a strange look in his eyes before throwing his arms up as if he was giving up on some invisible topic. "Fine, whatever just so long as you don't play I don't care what you do with the rest of your pathetic human life."
You are Karkat Vantas and you are the biggest liar in the entire universe. Of course you fucking care what John does but at the same time, it doesn't matter because soon this timeline and your timeline will collapse and you will only exist in the dream bubbles where you can see John and everyone again. This is the most complex suicide plan anyone could fucking come up with in the entirety of the whole fucking existence.
While you were contemplating all that, you didn't notice John walking toward you, his voice startling you a moment when it rang through you ears. "So, you're red for me?" You face heats up a little; damn this kid somehow knows how to make you blush. Or maybe you just blush easy.
"Yeah, well, I guess, time shit is hard to figure out but- John, what are-" John grabbed you and pulled you in close and landed a big fat sloppy kiss on your lips. At first, you are caught totally off guard. What the shit is Egbert doing now you wonder but you quickly realize you don't actually give a fuck and relax into the kiss. You feel his arms wrap tenderly around your waist and instinctively you wrap your arms around his neck, to deepen the kiss.
He hugs you tighter to him before briefly pausing the kiss. "I guess I am a homo." You see him grin. "This is great!"
You laugh lightly and glare at him playfully, "Good fucking job Egbert." You kiss him again, this time slipping your tongue into his mouth. He makes a muffled reaction of confusion before relaxing and allowing you to explore inside his mouth. You push your tongue back until you rub teeth with John and begin to trace around his teeth, then taking the tip of your tongue, you gently run it along the top of his mouth. You feel his tongue twitch in reaction beneath your own as well as feel his face heat up in a blush when you feel a roaming hand land and grip your ass.
Tugging at his hair gently, you push him up against a wall; he makes a muffled "mmf!" sound when he hits the wall. You pull away to take a few breaths, only to attach yourself to his neck. Gently sucking and biting all the sweet spots you memorized way back when. His begins to moan quietly, his face getting more flushed as you run a hand up his shirt. He shudders and you pull away from your assault on his neck long enough to lift his shirt up and over his head, tossing it somewhere in the room. He makes quick work to even the field by lifting your shirt up and off your body and once it was discarded you grabbed him and quickly closed the space between the two of you once again, locking lips. John wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, if that was even possible, and you put a hand on his waist, grinding him up into the wall while the hand gingerly holds Johns face. It'd been so long since you felt him like this. Your thoughts of the past are disturbed when John moans quietly into your mouth. He pulls back a little bit, "I h-haven't done this before…" he manages to mutter, breathlessly and you can't help but purr in the back of your throat.
"That's okay, I have so just let me lead…" Something he did must have hit a nerve because you let out a low groan before you began to nibble on his collarbone, his blush darken, somehow, and he made a sound of quiet agreement and you slide your hand to the back of his neck, pressing against him, your breathing becoming ragged. He moaned again, quickly and quietly. Too quietly. You sneak a hand down the back of his pants and cup his ass, continuing the assault on his neck. He lets out a quick gasp and grinds against you, thoughtlessly. You kiss up his neck until you land on his lips and proceed to bite on his bottom lip, being careful as to not draw blood with the sharp teeth. He hungrily kisses back, grinding against you more.
You move your hands to the front of his pants, fiddling with the buttons and zipper and he aids by pulling the article off and kicking them off to the side. You quickly remove yours then return your attention to Egbert and his delicious lips; he returns the attention and grips your hips in his hands. You start to grind your bulge against his, the friction caused by the underwear you both were wearing made you groan as you wrapped an arm around Johns neck and entangled a hand in his hair. Damnit Karkat, what are you doing? It's like you enjoy making yourself miserable, because you know this isn't going to last. Alas, this thought is thrown out the window when you hear John mewl a pathetic sounding moan.
"J-just g-get th-them off…" he demanded shakily, as he begun to tug off the restricting fabric. You chuckle and you pull off your own boxers.
"Hasty, hasty Egbert…" You murmur into ear as you lift him up and press him against wall firmly. A low, pleased growl rose in the back of your throat. "Wrap your legs around me." You purr, and he obliges, wrapping his legs around your waist. You place a firm grip on his and pull away from the wall and walk towards the bed, kissing him all the while. "Do you happen to have any lube?" You ask between kisses.
He shakes his head. "Not that I kn-know of…" he replies.
"Damnit. Alright then." You lay him down on the bed climb on top of him, putting three fingers in front of his mouth. "Suck." You commanded. You see his eyes widen but he takes your fingers into your mouth and does as he was told and if it wasn't the hottest fucking thing you don't know what is, he wrapped his tongue around each finger, coating them in saliva and sucking on them for a good long while, which only riled you up more and once the fingers were thoroughly coated you, regretfully, pulled them out. You positioned your index outside his entrance when you look up hesitantly. "You sure?" He nods and a new blush forms on his blood drained face. You nod back and insert a single finger.
He gasps and his eyes flutter shut. You keep your finger still, "Just relax John."
"It's hard to…" You kiss him gently, cooing sweetly into his ear and he starts breathing deeply, slowly relaxing and kissing you back. Once he is fully relaxed, you start to push the finger in and out, creating a pace before adding another, beginning to scissor and stretch him. He gasps again, he lifts his hips slightly and begins to moan quietly, but increasing in volume when you insert a third finger, feeling around. He grips the bed sheets in white knuckled fists until you rub against a certain spot that causes him to squeeze his eyes shut. You see him shutter with a loud moan and you test the spot a few more times, getting the same reaction and you smirk, and remove your fingers and place yourself at his entrance. He opens his eyes slightly to see what is happening, his grip loosening on the bed sheets.
"I should warn you, this is going to hurt. A lot, especially since I don't have any lube so tell me when you are okay for me to move."
"W-well, should w-we go look f-for lube? Th-there has to be s-some here s-somewhere."
"Alright, let me go and see if there is any." You get up from the bed and start rummaging through drawers until you strike some luck and find a bottle. You look back at John and he has that dorky smile plastered on his face while he's watching you. You walk back to the bed and open the lube bottle and start to slather your member with the lube, all the while kissing John passionately as you position yourself once again. "This is still going to hurt John…" You look deeply into his eyes with a sad look of longing, wish you could just never leave him ever again. You kiss him gently, "You ready?"
He kisses you back, "I h-have b-been ready…" He smiles at you the way that just makes your heart melt and you can't help but smile back and kiss his forehead before gripping his hips and plunging your length deep inside him. Damn he's so fucking tight. You hear him yelp quietly, white knuckling the bed sheets again, his eyes slamming shut. You groan and give him soothing kisses, waiting for his signal to move. "G-go a-ahead…" you nod and begin to move slowly, quietly groaning every now and then while beginning to pick up the pace. John moans loudly every other thrust, still death gripping the sheets while moving against you slightly. You start moaning as you sped up, letting out a loud moan before smashing your lips onto Egbert's, his erection rubbing against your stomach. You feel yourself getting closer and you grab his erection and pump it in time with each thrust, moving deeper within him. He gasps and basically yells, throwing his head back in pleasure and sweat starts to drip down your back and you thrust harder and faster, pumping in time still. You're head getting dizzy, until you are right on the edge and that's when you hear Egbert scream out your name as he cums on your chest which only pushed you over as you screamed his name as you cum, riding it out with slower thrusts until you finish and you collapse on top of him, panting and covered in sweat. You land on him with an "oof" and he wraps his arms around you, also panting and sweating. You also wrap your arms around him as your breathing starts to even out.
"So… How do you like… being a… homo… John…?" you ask him between pants.
"it… feels… Amazing… especially with you…" replies while calming his breathing.
You purr quietly. "I'm glad… Now we should probably go and take a shower. You smell awful." John laughs a little.
"look whose talking." You laugh for a moment before going quiet. "You so quiet suddenly?"
"It's just, it's been a while since I last laughed, last really laughed." You pause then nuzzle him closer. "it's going to make leaving even harder now…" You've been regretting this moment the moment he kissed you.
"Why would you leave?" he sounded a little hurt and it basically killed you inside.
"Because that's how time works. By stopping you from playing Sburb, I've created a paradox, which usually isn't supposed to happen and the longer I stay the more fucked up the paradox will get. Plus, Kanaya will be pissed at me for being gone so long. Since it's just me and her now." You could see his face growing more and more depressed as you went on talking. You were having a hard time not crying.
"I can't lose you…" you hear him whisper. You put your forehead against his.
"And I can't fucking lose you either, but knowing you don't die and suffer through so much pain in the future will give me some ease as I sit on the asteroid with Kanaya." Tears start falling down Johns face, goddamnit Egbert was going to make you cry too.
"Karkat, please…" he pleaded, his voice starting to crack.
"Shhhh, don't cry John, it's going to be okay. You will have your friends and your family and I'm sure you'll find someone else…" You start to see red translucent tears fog up your vision.
"I don't want anyone else…" he says quietly. You smile sadly at him.
"I'm sorry, but I should probably get going…" you start to sit up in the bed when John grabs you from behind and hugs you tight.
"PLEASE DON'T GO!" He pleads again. Tears start falling down your cheeks.
"John fucking Egbert, you are one insane human being." You turn to face him. "John, I-" but before you could finish you get transportalized back to the lab, and you break down sobbing. When suddenly, what John said before he died those sweeps ago made perfect sense. The memory still fresh in your brain like it happened yesterday.
He fell to the ground, lifeless and limp. You run over to him, setting your sickles on the ground as you lift him into your lap, his blood staining his bright blue god tier outside, tears threatening to leave your eyes as you beg for him to hold on. He reaches up and gently caresses you face, smearing a little blood on your face and he looks up at you, a smirk tugging at his face. "Karkat, I want you to know I'm okay, everything was perfect and I didn't care, I don't care about the pain." You stare at him with confusion and tears in your eyes. "And I love you too…" he whispered as he reached up and kissed you for the last time for a long time. You let out a long howl as you feel him go limp in your arms.
He played anyway, that dumbass. You don't stop crying for hours even after finding you bed and curling up in it. You didn't ever stop crying, you only ran out of tears.
You are John Egbert, and you are staring at the place where your love just sat. "Karkat?" after a moment of silence you collapse on the bed sobbing. You decide to play the game, because you have a feeling everything will work out.