This was just an idea that came to mind and I couldn't, as hard as I tried, couldn't get out of my head!. Set sometime in season 6 or seven and Will is very much alive for me in this one.
The divorce was final, she felt like twenty years of her life was wasted but there were also good wonderful memories etched in there and both she and Peter knew that. She loved him and he loved her but they both had to admit that they just weren't really in love with each other anymore, especially of the fact that he was screwing his ethics adviser. The last year and a half has probably been the most exhausting Alicia has ever experienced. Starting her own law firm isn't as easy as thought especially from the fact that she did a lot of back stabbing to get there. She didn't mean to backstab Will or Diane and she doubts they'll ever understand the real reason for her leaving but what does it matter now? They hate her guts right so what do they care if her marriage is over.
What they do care about is the fact that Alicia's business is booming (even after the statement of her divorce). More and more clients keep coming in and Alicia and Cary are finally, after so many months of financial exhaustion and disasters they have finally hit the circumstance where they are no longer tired anymore. They've brought new office space somewhere in the city and are doing so well in fact that Alicia and Cary have decided to expand into a branch in New York City. Yes, it was a bold and spontaneous move for a new firm but the opportunity came their way and they grasped at it. They still didn't know which Partner would make their way to New York and live there for several months to get it started but Cary had said in the first place that he wasn't doing it. He lived in New York in his college years and hated it. Everyone turned to Alicia expectant but she still had a few problems to deal with. Zach was fine, he was in college but Grace was still in her last year of high school. She had a few months to finish until the year was over and she was looking into maybe going to Harvard. She did consider Georgetown but she told her mother that she had always secretly hoped for Harvard. Alicia was of course proud and supportive of her daughters move but could easily notice the anxiety in Graces body. She was not looking forward to leaving her parents and being on her own. More and more by the day she got nervous and Alicia tried as hard as she could to comfort her but it obviously wasn't working, that's when she considered moving to New York. Harvard University wasn't very far from New York and she knew it would do a great deal to Grace if she could easily spend time with her mother during the weekends but there was still one issue.
Will, she knew she loved him. It took a very long time but after the divorce it was something she realised and she mentally kicked herself for digging such a deep hole between their relationship and being unable to form her way out. He was dating that blond head 24 year old, what's her name? Isabell. Alicia didn't really care much about Will's relationships but what she did care about was the fact that he no longer cared for her in the same way as he used to. They were now civil towards each other and he now and then would throw a smile towards her way but it was nothing more. Before Alicia made her decision which was due in a month she had to figure a few things out primarily where she and Will stood. She just didn't really know how to open herself up to him without looking weak, or embarrassing herself if he were to reject her.
She told Cary as well as Grace that she was considering the idea of a moving to New York for six months, just six months –she told herself- and they were both ecstatic of the possible idea especially Grace. She told her mother that she didn't have to do it if she didn't want to, that she would be fine on her own but Alicia could see the hope in her daughters eyes and figured that Grace had been few so much this past year, she needed to do something for her children for once. She also realised that this could be a chance to find herself again. She was still and figured that she would always be considered the Governors unsupportive ex-wife and she needed a little time and space to figure herself out. Change a little, become a little stronger. But there was still Will.
Will
His day wasn't going so well, -that would be considered and understatement. He lost a six million dollar law suit to Louise Canning and also lost a few clients who weren't too happy with the fact that they were being ignored and thrown to the work of first year associates. His mind kept slipping to what David Lee mentioned to him this morning. After many weeks of suspicions Cavanaugh and Agos were taking the next big step and expanding their firm to New York and Will found himself a little jealous. Who wouldn't be? Alicia and Cary started their firm off in a dump and then expanded and moved into a large building in the heart of Chicago near the courthouse and became one of Chicago's flashiest law firms in the city, just one of them though –he told himself.
He was secretly grateful that Alicia and Cary were turning the ex-clients of Lockhart Gardner away. He actually admired it in a way, they were willing to settle things at a slow paste with the whole backstabbing thing and wanted to put everything in the backyard and just move on. Diane was more than willing to do that, she was absolutely and utterly tired of the fighting and backstabbing but of course Will was a little wary. He was still mad at Alicia, not for the backstabbing and client stealing but for betraying him, betraying his trust, betraying their friendship for what? Yeah, he can see now that in her point of view, leaving has gained her a lot of strength and humility and also a great law firm but on the other side? She sacrificed one of the most important friendships in her life –that's how Will see's it anyway. But ultimately, why should he care? Yeah, her marriage is finished which confuses Will even more. She had said to him in that diner several months ago that one of the reasos she left was because she needed to get away, make her marriage work but look where that's ended. She divorced him anyway and for what reason? Nothing... she couldn't have been more wrong, she did it because she wanted to. –This is what Will continuously tells himself but he, as well as the rest of Chicago are unaware of the real reason.
His relationship with Isabell is going rather good, they broke it off several months ago but then she came back and they started up again. It's not really dating but more a long the lines of just sleeping together and she doesn't seem to mind which makes him ecstatic. Ecstatic that he doesn't have to deal with the likes of annoying woman that he's had past experience with. Isabell is just fun and more importantly she's nothing like Alicia. He tries to tell himself that he's over her, that he doesn't have the same feelings he did have two years ago but the more and more he tries to disclose her from his life the more and more he feels pathetically hopeless in thinking that he could actually get over her but really, he's still working on it. He doesn't want to go back there, to be perfectly honest he doesn't really know how he would feel if Alicia were to come running into his arms one day and tell him that she loves him. He cant let it happen again, let her lure him into thinking that she cares for him and then one day, backstabbing him again, hurting him again. It's what he fears the most.
When his doorbell rings on a Saturday morning he finds himself getting confused. It's the weekend after all. It certainly wouldn't be Isabell, she would probably text him first but then there's the fact that she mentioned she would be out of town for several days so who else could it be? He gradually makes his way towards the door and is instantly shocked at who his visitor seems to be.
Alicia
She was nervous, she was scared, she was actually terrified. She told herself that she was here for work with the files that she had in her hands but really, she wanted to talk things out before making the final decision about New York. Cary was pushing her for an answer every day because the owners of the building of offices in New York were getting more and more impatient. She rung the familiar doorbell and his expression was one she expected. She didn't know what to say so she came straight out with it. "Can we talk?" It sounded a bit rushed and nervous but she honestly had no idea what his answer was going to be.
"Uh… sure" he stepped to the side and squinted his eyes wanting to know if this were all real. It's not like she hasn't been to his apartment before, in fact the last time he can remember he pushed her up against that wall. He shakes those thoughts away, he's ready to go there, he's happy where he is at the moment. You're still mad at her.
She paused awkwardly in the hallway and followed him towards the main room. She could see from a mile away that Will had slight anxiety as to having her in his apartment. Did he really hate her that much? This is so inappropriate Alicia, you can't just show up at his apartment. She felt like kicking herself in the head.
"I uh…" she paused as he sat on the couch and stared at her expectantly. It seemed like he wanted this to be done as soon as possible and it made her all the more nervous. "I brought some files regarding the Makenzie case" she started off placing the papers in front of him and gradually taking a seat on his sofa opposite. She expected him to reply but instead he stared down at the papers and back at her. "She's decided on a final settlement because she wants it to be over and done with so I think you'd like the offer she has made" Alicia proposed and surprising Will started to laugh in a mocking way making her furrow her eyebrows confused, she could also feel the anger in body build as she noted his ridiculing behaviour. "What?"
He shook his head with that all knowing scornful immature smirk. "What is it?" she asked hasty.
"You could have just given them to me Wednesday morning during the deposition, or did you really feel the need to desperately get them to me as soon as possible?" he said in mocking scoff and before she knew it, the words came out of her mouth on their own accord.
"Well I'm going to New York Wednesday morning!" the words came out of her mouth before she even realised what she was saying. Shit shit shit! She doesn't know why she said that, probably because all she seemed to be thinking about other than him was New York, the pressure got to her and with Will's patronising and immature behaviour the anger seeped through and took over her inability to say the truth which was that she actually came her to talk things out, not make a decision that she will have to live up to for the next six months.
His face soon died down as he realised her words and for a few seconds he seemed speechless. "Oh" he started off. "So it's true then huh? You guys are actually taking the next step" he didn't mean to say it in a condescending way but his feelings are so mixed up at the moment that, the way he said it came out on its own arrival and it was surprising to him as she scoffed.
"So what, you didn't think we would be able to make it this far?" He just shrugged which just fuelled the fire even more. "It's not that, I just thought you would have to steal a few more clients of ours to get there. That's all" he shrugged and she shook her head in disgust and started to laugh. "Wow, you really are paranoid"
"Well, it's true" he replied and she laughed some more and sat up more professionally as if she were making a settlement.
"Okay then, seeing that you seem so sure of your words. Name all the clients that we supposedly stole" she mocked and he gathered his barring's sitting on the edge of his seat and naming the numbers with his fingers.
"Okay, well let's see. Chum Hum, Sweeney, Paisley, Bishop" he paused as he realised that that was it. Yes they were big, top money clients which caused somewhat of financial distinction for Lockhart Gardner but it wasn't threatening.
"Those were our clients!" she interrupted cutting him off completely and taking him by surprise. "You never once worked full time with them. They were mine and Cary's clients, we knew them and their cases like a back of a hand and they weren't even happy and Lockhart Gardner in the first place" she scoffed and he seemed completely speechless as he realised her words were true. "Can you honestly say, that if we hadn't of taken them with us they wouldn't have come anyway? They wanted to come with us!" she finished.
"Fine, let's say that you're right but what about Chum Hum? We had to actually fight for them, they didn't want to go with you. That's until you got your husband to persuade them in going with you" he scoffed back and she stared at him in utter shock.
"Is that really what you've been thinking this past year?" he just shrugged and she shook her head gradually and let out a hasty breath. "Wow, you really are pathetic" she said and stood up gathering herself together but he wasn't about to let her go.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he stood up and faced her expectantly. She eyed him up and down in pity and shook her head before walking towards the door. He felt his heart drop as he watched her walk away, he didn't want this to be the last time they were too see each other.
"Answer me!" he instructed and she paused before turning back around and hastily walking back to where she began. "It means that you need to get over yourself!" –she pointed her finger towards him "This was a business decision, it was never personal Will and I don't know what I have to do to convince you that, yes Peter helped us out but not once did I ever ask for it. I didn't even know about his speech until Cary showed it to me and second of all we worked hard to get Chum Hum. Neil Gross was the one who encouraged Cary to start his own firm in the first place, he was sniffing behind Lockhart Gardner's back before I even made the decision to leave." She admitted taking him completely off track.
She paused and spoke in a more calm neutral voice this time. "I don't know what I have to do to get you to see the real reason why I left. I assumed that you understood that night in the diner in New York but your obviously not cooperating the way we agreed." She paused waiting for a response but got nothing except for an utter confused facial expression. "All I know is, is that I'm over it. I'm over all the fighting and whispering behind backs, I'm over the backstabbing, I'm absolutely done. I don't see the point in this fighting Will, everybody is fine now, your business is doing fine just as much as mine and you seem happy so why do you keep pushing to destroy me?" she paused waiting for him to respond but once again she didn't get anything.
She shook her head "You know what, don't answer that. Have a nice life Will" she began to slowly walk away hoping that he would say something to stop her except what he said instead completely took her off guard.
"It was a waste of time you leaving anyway" he mumbled but she heard him correctly and she didn't dear turn around to face him and instead kept her back towards him.
"You ended up divorcing your husband anyway" he said it in a scoff and she felt tears spring in her eyes. She finally turned around to face him and he could see the water in her eyes. "If you're implying that I made a mistake leaving and starting my own firm than your wrong" she said it quietly but he heard every syllable. "I will never regret starting a firm with Cary but what I do regret is not realising how much you would hate me" the two words 'hate me' echoed in the air and Will felt his heart drop. "And your right, my marriage didn't end up working out in the first place but at least Peter has the decency to tell me the truth" he soon realised what she meant. Peter cheated on her again, of course he did. He wanted to say sorry, wanted to beg for forgiveness and take back his immature words but as he stared into her watery green eyes he was absolutely speechless. She was expecting him to say something but he didn't and it made her even more angry and yet tired. She suddenly felt so tired; tired of everything. Maybe moving to New York wasn't such a bad idea after all.
"I don't expect you to understand Will" she sighed deeply "I don't expect anything from you. But what I do expect, which is what I would normally expect from my teenage daughter is the truth. Not this whispering behind my back which you and David Lee seem to be doing" she scoffed into laughter "It feels like I'm back in time six years ago." -Now that cut him like a knife. "Like I said before, I'm sick of everything so if you have anything to say to me, I suggest you say it now" she gestured and he swallowed tightly.
"I gave you a chance, all those years ago and you blew it all in my face" he replied tightly.
"Yes, and I loved you but you don't seem to care" she said softly taking him completely off the rail way track. He obviously was not expecting that and ultimately seems absolutely dumbstruck and speechless.
"I don't know how you can keep living in a life full of hatred and betrayal but what I do know is that I'm over it. There are more things to life than making enemies Will, now if you'll excuse me, I have a daughter to get back to." She walked towards the door and he finally managed to speak through his astonishment.
"If you loved me than why would you leave?"
She paused as her hand was on the doorknob and looked back at his expectant gaze. She shook her head in exhaustion. She really thought he would understand. "I just gave you the answer"
"That still doesn't answer my question!" he instructed angrily. He really was beginning to get tired of her need for disregarding everything and leaving him questioning what everything means.
"I left because I was falling in love with you. You see, there's a difference in all of this…" –he cut her off and marched towards her. "The difference is you never told me how you felt!"
"Because I was married!" she cut back in shock. "And I certainly didn't understand how you felt either. There is a two way street here and you know it, I had vows to commit to" she explained
"You didn't seem to care about those vows three years ago" oh god Will, you really are digging yourself in a deeper hole. He felt stupid of his response but he had to get it out. He had to know the differences.
She shook her head "There was a huge difference in that situation Will and you know it, Peter and I were separated." –she explained "But that night in your car when we kissed? I had just accepted Peter's offer to renew our vows" she reiterated. "And yes, I know I was still betraying my vows whilst separated with Peter but I didn't exactly think you would care about the damn vows until now" she paused and grasped looking towards the ground for encouragement. "I gotta go" she sighed and opened the door walking towards the elevators.
He stood and leant against the doorway "So what, that's it. You're leaving?"
She turned her head to face his and nodded her head. "When I came here I was meaning to discuss things with you. Things about us, I wanted to know if going to New York and leaving everything behind would be worth it and I think I've just received my answer" she pushed the button for the elevator to arrive and kept her eyes focused on the wall in front of her.
"I can't go back there Alicia. I can't start something up with you only to get hurt again." He admitted and she shook her head in frustration.
"I didn't come here to jump in bed with you Will, I came here because I wanted to sort things out between us" she pushed again and again towards the button but it seemed to take its time arriving.
He gazed at her for a few moments taking in her words. It sounded like the easiest syllables out of her mouth. "I know that, I just…" he tried to defend his words but the bell of the elevator dinged and found himself stuck between time.
"You just what?" she held her hands up to stop the doors from closing waiting impatiently for his answer.
"I just can't" he finished honestly and she nodded her head with a sad and exhausted smile.
"That's exactly what I was thinking. Goodbye Will" she walked inside the elevator and as soon as it closed she covered her face with her hands and sighed in exhaustion. Deciding that she couldn't do it anymore she flipped her cell phone out of her pocket and dialled Cary's number.
"Alicia?"
"Cary" she sighed in frustration and he recognised it immediately.
"What's wrong Alicia?"
"I've decided" she paused and he knew exactly what she was talking about.
"New York? What is it?"
She paused and looked up towards the ceiling seeking for some strength "I'm in."