Disclaimer: Characters are owned by ER, Warner Brothers, NBC, and the creators of the show. Any unrecognizable characters are originally created by me, unless otherwise stated.
September 2008
It was dark outside, and not because the sun wasn't up. It was dark outside because the sky was gloomy and gray, and the sun couldn't find a place to peek through the crowds of clouds. Much like she'd had a hard time doing lately.
She couldn't pry herself from the warmth of her bed; even though it was still cold it was warmer beneath the sheets than outside of them. She felt a million miles away from him when he was just miles closer than across town. The warmth from his skin wasn't doing its job warming hers.
Instead it was working his tired body at County. She hadn't seen him much lately with him working nights and being on days herself. She hated how she had gotten dependent on the way that he kept her warm while she slept, but she loved the way that she felt when he did.
The closest thing that she'd had to warmth on the lonely nights was Cujo. Cujo could only do so much since he wasn't allowed to sleep any closer than the foot of the bed. Luka hated the blonde hair that he shed into the bed, and she'd admit that it wasn't ideal to wake up with a hairball of unrecognizable blonde hair by her face.
Cujo, Alex named him that when he had just seen that movie and the dog had rabies, was startled and lifted his head from the bed to look around the room. He showed his teeth, his growl remaining silent, at the open door, and Luka walked through. Cujo licked his lips and laid his head back onto the softness of the comforter.
"Hello, my wife," Luka said as he closed the bedroom door, his voice carrying in an unusual 'oo' voice. He stripped his coat and let it drop to the floor. His fingertips brushed across the top of Cujo's blonde head as he made his way to the bed.
"Hey," she replied tiredly, stretching her arms up into the air. With the lack of light shining into the room, she was slightly surprised when there was a glimmer from her engagement ring and matching wedding band echoing against the wall.
"I got Alex off to school. You don't go in until noon. I just worked my last night shift. And I had one of those triple cappuccino things," he said, pressing his knee against the edge of the bed just on the other side of Cujo. He crawled over her, slid his hand onto her cheek, and he softly pressed his lips to hers.
"Mm hmm. I can taste it," she laughed in the back of her throat as he pulled away. He shook his head, kissing her again. She kissed him back, running her hand to the back of his neck and entwining her fingers with the hair at the nape of his neck. He pulled back again, and his eyes sunk into hers.
"Go," he said, snapping his fingers at Cujo and pointing off of the bed. He was mesmerized it seemed, and she pinched his hair between her fingers. Cujo hopped onto the floor, the bed seeming to have a huge weight lifted from it.
He swiped his thumb across her cheekbone before leaning his lips into hers again. The sound of Cujo hitting the wood floor as he lay back down seemed to assure Luka to let his hand drag through her hair. The air was still cold to her, but him being near was slowly warming her, until he tried to lift the blankets from her.
"It's too cold," she said, shaking her head vigorously. He sighed, his shoulders dropping when his eyes rolled. His hands started to rub the slightly exposed skin of her upper arms.
"Sam, I really hate to point this out, but we cannot have sex if there's a layer of blankets between us," he said, slightly arching an eyebrow. He pressed his forehead against hers and kicked his shoes off to the floor. "Besides," he added, a grin spreading across his face, "it's my job to keep you warm."
"Right," she nodded sheepishly, lifting the blankets as he quickly climbed in beside her with an even quicker motivation. His hand brushed across her stomach as he was draping his arm across it. She shivered, which prompted him to cover her with his body as he started to kiss her again. "I'm glad that you're a warm body," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his torso.
"Me too. It keeps me off of the couch," he teased, sliding his hands beneath her back and holding her close enough to keep her warm. He laid his forehead on her chest, resting his body against her. He reveled in the moment that they just laid there holding each other. "Lets stay like this for the rest of the day."
"Mmm, don't tempt me. I can't afford to miss anymore work," she mumbled.
He shook his head, the tips of his bangs brushing across her shoulder. "They won't even notice you're gone. They got new nurses, students, and interns this morning. No one even asked me when you were coming in like they usually do."
"Ah, newbies. They'll need me even more than usual." They had been married for a little over a year, and he was beginning to figure out just how wise she'd become over her 29 years – even more so within the last 2 that they'd been together, all over again. She pursed her lips, her eyes drifting to his face as his breathing seemed to slow.
"Are you going to sleep?" She laughed lightly in the back of her throat, and she immediately felt him shake his head, his chin pressing gently into her shoulder. She was silent, and the room was flooded with cold air as his breathing echoed a musical rhythm in her ear.
"Not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes," he tried to smile softly, but his action went unnoticed to her as she was openly amused by him.
She scooted out from beneath his shoulder lazily pressing against hers, surprised that she'd received no objections from him, and turned to look at him before she crawled out of the bed. Her eyes rested on his tired form, her hand reaching up and dragging through his hair. "It's good for you," he spoke into the pillow, her hand through his hair urging him to say something just reassure her, and partly himself too, that he was still awake.
"You're a horrible liar, I hope you know," she grinned, watching him peel an eye open to shoot her a glance, her fingers threading deep into his hair.
"You're a tease," he half smiled, his lethargy obvious as he tucked a hand beneath him, his chest being pushed up slightly from the bed. She shook her head, retrieving her hand from his hair and pulling it back to her body so she could crawl out of bed. Once she did escape the warmth of the sheets and blankets covering the remotely huge bed, she pulled wrapped herself in warm clothes to leave the bedroom.
"Where are you going?" His muffled voice echoed around the room as he heard the sound of the door opening, Cujo's heavy body lifting from the floor and quickly following Sam towards the door.
"Somebody has to let Cujo out. He's been in here with me all night," she shrugged, clutching the doorknob tightly in her hand and leaning against the door. Cujo, respectfully, stopped to look from Sam to Luka, knowing that there was interaction between them but not understanding what – he just heard his name.
"Oh," he pursed his lips together and turned slightly on his side to look at her, his eyes looking fully at her, "okay."
She crossed her arms in front of her chest, waiting for Cujo to catch back up to her. Luka offered her a smile before burying his head back into his pillow, and she knew just how tired he really was. He could lie to her all he wanted, but she'd always know – she always did.
"Come on, Cujo," Sam dropped her arms and patted her leg, capturing the dog's attention to follow her out of the room.
The dog's tags clinked together as he hustled to follow her, the ring in Luka's ears thinning more and more. She left the room, the door being left open and the light from the hall seeping in, the sound of the dog padding down the hall becoming distant. He heard, more over, he knew that she was lingering just outside of the door. He cleared his throat as she quietly walked back in, heading to the closet slowly and silently.
"Just need to get my coat," she said it with a chuckle vibrating in the back of her throat, the information seeming to go unnoticed.
"It's in the hall, by the door," he curled up, pulling his leg up beneath him until his arm and his knee both propped him off of the bed. She smiled half-heartedly as she nodded her head, the mainly confused dog peeking back into the room. Cujo's appearance came as a surprise to them both.
She took the sign of the young dog as a calling, and stepped out behind the dog.
"We should get a house," his voice drew her back in as he rolled over onto his side, looking down the length of his body at her. He waited to see her reaction, and was left confused and speechless when he saw none – not a single emotion on her face.
"Luka," she was secretly amused by his lethargic form, closing her eyes momentarily as she scratched her temple, "baby, you're delusional."
"No, I'm not. I've been thinking about it for a while now," he reached up and rubbed his eyes, watching her lean against the lucid doorframe with her shoulder. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, slightly amused at his mumbled yet so clear words. "Cujo needs a backyard."
'That's your only argument?' she considered asking, but quickly disregarded the thought.
"Honey, we can't afford it. We're behind on bills, and we have to pay for Alex's school because Steve's behind on his payment. The good schools are expensive," she sighed, wishing that he'd choose a different moment to have this conversation other than one that he was mostly asleep. She slowly shook her head at him, his eyes narrowing at her as a slight smile crossed his face. "What?"
She wanted to smile, too, he could definitely tell, but he also knew that she wasn't smiling at the situation but at the smile that he'd managed.
"I've been saving some money," he shrugged once he forced the smile from his face, tucking his arm behind his head.
"You bought a boat, Luka," she reminded him rather deadpanned, his eyes rolling as he held back a sigh but the muffled air seemed to escape from him.
"House payments, Sam, I want house payments," he squinted as Cujo hurried back in, this time with a whine to draw their attention back to the reminder that she was going to let him out. Luka sighed, feeling like he was going unheard and ignored. "You said that you were going to let him outside and now the idea is in his head. I let him out when I got home."
"You could have told me that," she laughed lightly at the situation, finding it as the best way to let her anger be relieved of her. She didn't know if she was mad that he'd mentioned buying a house, or that she was mad that he hadn't given her some better arguments than he had.
"I didn't even think about it, baby," he was definitely tired, he only called her that when he was tired from picking up what the Americans say. She was surprised that it was like that, especially since his accent got heavier and he spoke in slurred Croatian. "I was tired, and I thought that you just wanted an excuse to leave."
"You thought wrong, Luka," she countered, her voice straining to keep stern.
He graced her with a firm glare, and he threw the sheets off of him to stand to the floor. He pulled his sweatshirt off over his head and dropped it to the floor beside him; her eyes diligently watched him make a mess on their relatively clean floor. He looked over at her and widened his eyes, almost defiantly as he unbuckled his black slacks and dropped his pants to the floor.
He gave her a firm scowl, her face seeming to erupt into a smile and sending him into a range of confusion. She pushed herself from the doorframe and advanced further towards him, her eyes noticing that he was standing in the cold room in only his boxers and a thin white t-shirt. She still had trouble believing that he was hers, and that he wanted all of these things with her.
"I just want to take care of you," she told him softly, slipping her cold hands up his shirt and touching the heated skin of his abdomen. He shivered under her cold touch, the chills rushing through him at the change of temperature against his skin. Her nails dragged across his skin, tickling the sensitive spots down his sides directly above the waistband of his boxers. "You need to let me take care of you."
"I want to take care of you and Alex. That's what I've wanted all along," he looked down at her, his fingers tightly gripped around the edge of the sheets. Her hands circled his hips as much as her tiny fingers would stretch, her fingers spreading out against his skin.
"I wouldn't have ever married you if I hadn't planned on doing the same for you, but it's going to be hard because we're so busy. We can't afford to spend money other places right now when we're good; we're good here," she slowly retracted her hands when he seemed disinterested in her touch, moving the sheets back as he sat on the side of the bed. She pursed her lips together, her eyes watching him as he leaned back on his arms.
"We're comfortable here, maybe too comfortable," he said slowly and gently, watching her body tense as she sighed and turned away from him. He reached out and grabbed her wrist, keeping her from moving away from him in her slightly angered state. "Look at me."
"It's too early to do this now, Luka," she shook her head, struggling to pull her wrist away and out of his grasp.
"It's always too early, Sam," he sighed, slightly exasperated, and he dropped her wrist only to unintentionally find himself riding the edge of slight anger as well. He struggled with the words to say and bit his bottom lip tight, letting yet another conversation with his wife pass. He thought that he was doing what she wanted all along, but, anymore, everything seemed to lead to her being mad. "Did I do something?"
"What?"
She furrowed her eyebrows and fought the disbelieving laugh begging to escape from her, watching as he turned away hurt that she wouldn't just take a minute to talk about it. She quickly reached out and guided his eyes back to hers, her hand smoothing down his jaw line to fall into the crook of his neck.
"Luka," she entwined her fingers with the hair at the nape of his neck and, with her other hand, she spread her fingers out across his neck with her thumb pressing high into his cheekbone. She couldn't say anything, almost didn't want to, her hands cold against his heated flesh. She had lost all of her control, her knees beginning to press hard into his.
Only then did she realize that she hadn't seen him for nearly a whole week. It wasn't that they didn't see each other at all, but their schedules were conflicting and their time spent together was awkwardly limited. It was that fact that made her believe a bigger responsibility, like a house, would cause even more of a strain when they didn't see each other, and it just wasn't fair.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his forehead, his eyes closing momentarily as her moist lips where present once again on his skin. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like, and he was drowning again in his sweetest sin.
"Come sit with me," she conceded softly as her long and skinny fingers trailed down his thick arm to grab his hand.
He smiled mischievously, shaking his head as he circled her tiny waist with his rather large hands and pulled her towards him. Her knees smoothed past his until she found herself perched between his legs, his thumbs looping into the waistband of her pants as his fingertips slipped up the back of the bulky sweatshirt and fanned out against her skin.
"Uh – uh, I have better things to do than sit around," he tugged her playfully, seeming to force her arms, although he knew better than that, to circle his neck as she clasped her hands together.
"Oh, yeah? Like what?"
He pulled her closer to him as he shifted and pushed her onto her back into the mattress. It was moments like this when he thanked his lucky stars for days like the day he was living, and he pressed his lips against hers only to find them just as moist as they had been against his forehead. It was a slice of God knows what.