Prompt: "I don't want to have a baby."
It was an ordinary enough scene. Lily sat on the sofa, reading Jane Austen while James lay (napping) with his head in her lap. Marlene and Remus were putting Peter and Sirius to shame at chess; Mary was sprawled across the floor, writing her Potions essay for the fifth time; Dorcas was attempting to revive some poor plant; and Charity – well, no one knew quite what she was up to, but she was currently staring intently at some Muggle photographs.
"Sirius, that's a terrible move," drawled Marlene, whilst Remus giggled at the newly decapitated bishop. Peter frowned with concentration, "it would help if you weren't cheating!"
Marlene gasped in false outrage, swishing her hair in a distinctly Sirius-like manner as she said, "cheat? I would only need to cheat if I was worried we might lose-"
"-but even my dearly departed great-uncle Leroy wouldn't worry about losing to you two, and he hadn't played chess in decades." Remus smirked.
Lily sighed melodramatically, startling James awake. "Now now, children. If you refuse to play nicely, I shall confiscate that board and take away all the house points Peter won for not dropping anything in Potions."
"Mother would never do such a heinous thing," gasped Sirius, eyes wide and innocent.
"She's not your mother," snapped James. The group fell momentarily silent as James gathered himself off the couch and ran to his dormitory. Remus blinked confusedly. Charity finally looked up, gently nudging Lily in James' direction before returning to her work. She really was a Hufflepuff through and through.
Sense and Sensibility abandoned by the fireside, Lily climbed the stairs to the boys' dorm and ducked inside. At first, James was nowhere to be seen, but the sound of the shower turning off led Lily to a very red-eyed Captain.
Later, they lay on the bed, bodies intertwined in a tight embrace as James fought through the remnants of the panic attack. She kissed the tears off his cheeks and he held her tighter, seeking comfort in her warmth.
Lily stroked his hair as she murmured, "Padfoot knows I'm not his mum." James hummed in agreement.
"We were just messing around." He laughed at that.
"I know. But hearing someone call you 'Mother'… It set me off." Lily's brow furrowed, so he continued, "It- I-" He took a deep breath and his bottom lip trembled. "I'm not ready."
"For what, love?" Lily's eyes searched his face.
"I don't want to have a baby." James whispered. Much to his chagrin, Lily burst out laughing. "You silly sod, Potter," she wheezed, "we've been together for all of three months-
"
"My parents are dead, there's a war going on and a power-hungry fascist who is hell-bent on destroying everything good. I don't want to bring a baby into that."
Lily quietened at that. "You're really scared." Cupping his face, she pressed their foreheads together. "I know it's scary out there. I'm terrified. But I'll be damned if You-Know-Who stops me from living my life. It's my life, not his. And if he wants to stop me, well, he'll have to kill me." Her expression softened at James' alarmed look, and she said, "I found out a long time ago that some people don't want me attending Hogwarts. Imagine if I'd left every time someone picked on me."
James pulled her closer and sighed. "You're right," he finally said. "But I still wouldn't want to put a baby through any of this." Lily smiled and nodded, rubbing circles on his back.
"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it, eh?"
A/N: I've been absent for so long! I've been getting alerts from the few ff stories I'm still following recently, and I've just go back into writing properly, so it's wonderful to finally contribute something on here. Hope you like it – if you do, please leave one word in the review box to tell me what you think! - Pan x