Chapter 1

A/N: Inspired by the song "Stay" by Rihanna. This takes place in Notorious Nineteen when Ranger takes Stephanie back to her apartment after his friend's rehearsal dinner.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

I hesitated for a beat. "I'm sure."

He traced a line down the side of my face with his fingertip. "Would you like me to change your mind?"

My heart was telling to say yes, my body was screaming hell yes, and even that little voice in my mind that usually reminded me of Morelli was saying go for it girl. Nothing in my body, mind, or heart was telling me to refuse his offer to change my mind. Besides, he might not be able to do it.

Yeah, right.

"You can try," I teased, trying to appear nonchalant. In reality, I was trying not to collapse from the look of desire that had crossed Ranger's face as a small smile appeared on his lips.

He slowly slid one arm around my waist and pulled me into him while he cradled my head with the other hand. He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me so tenderly I wanted to cry. Ranger was vastly different from Morelli in the sexual department. Both were great in bed, but Ranger's touch was gentle and meaningful whereas Morelli's was playful and lust-filled. Ranger made love while Morelli fucked.

I deepened the kiss as he navigated us towards my bedroom. I could feel his erection digging into me and it seemed as though my body temperature had risen a couple of degrees from the contact. Once we reached my bedroom, I immediately moved to unbutton his jacket. Before I pushed it off of his shoulders, he reached in the pocket, pulled out two condoms and threw them on the night stand before the jacket hit the floor. If I hadn't been so turned on, I would have told him how presumptuous it had been of him to have condoms with him. But because I was so turned on, my fingers couldn't move fast enough as I worked on his shirt, and the only thought that kept me from just ripping his shirt open was the knowledge that it had probably cost a lot of money.

It only took a minute for the rest of his clothes, and all of mine, to end up in a pile on the floor. Ranger spent the next ten minutes exploring every part of my body with his tongue and his hands, and by the time he entered me, I had already had one orgasm and was well on my way to a second. Any thought of Morelli, Orin Carr, Geoffrey Cubbin, the Clinic, or anything else was gone in that moment because the only thing I could focus on was the feeling of Ranger on top of and inside me. The feelings, both physical and emotional, were beyond words. During our normal interactions, I could keep my emotional connection to him in check because I would remember that I was in a semi-serious relationship with Morelli and that Ranger had always said his life didn't lend itself to relationships. But whenever we were intimate, it was impossible to remember either of those things. The gentleness and obvious affection with which Ranger touched me made me wonder if he really meant what he had said in the past. His expressions and his words told me how at peace he felt when he was moving over me, and I couldn't understand why he wouldn't open himself up to a life with me.

I fell asleep in Ranger's arms afterwards and didn't move from that spot until a knock at my apartment door woke us the next morning. Ranger climbed out of bed, pulled on his pants, grabbed his gun and went into the living room. I heard the door open and shut again a few seconds later. Since there hadn't been any yells or gunshots, I thought it was safe to assume that Orin Carr hadn't been in the hall. Ranger came back in the bedroom a couple of minutes later carrying a duffle bag in one hand and a garment bag in the other. He laid the garment bag over the back of the chair in the corner of my room and set the duffle bag down next to it.

"What is all of that?"

"I had Lester bring everything I need to get ready for the wedding so that I don't have to leave you alone."

I climbed out of bed, stretched and headed towards the kitchen. "I doubt Orin is going to come after me. I told you, I don't think I'm his number one target. I don't even think I'm number two."

"I disagree," Ranger replied, following me through the apartment. "I think you and Amanda are his number one targets, and he won't come after Kinsey or me until he's gotten to you two."

"Why? We don't know him. We don't even know why he's after you and Kinsey, let alone what we've could have done to him."

Ranger leaned against the counter and watched me while I got coffee started. He didn't say anything until my attention was off of the machine and back onto him.

"Orin may be a munitions expert, but he still received the same kind of psychological training that Kinsey and I did. He knows how to read people, determine their motivations, and find their weaknesses. He has undoubtedly been watching us for a while and knows that you're my weakness, and Amanda is Kinsey's. And that to hurt the two of you would be more painful than torturing us directly."

A small lump had formed in my throat as Ranger had been talking. I didn't often consider his motivations for tracking me and giving me cars when mine were destroyed or stolen. I spent most of the time trying to ignore my feelings for Ranger, and in turn it seemed I had also been trying to ignore his feelings for me. I had tried to tell myself that I was just an amusement for him as a friend, but the reality was that we were in love with each other. I'd already seen Ranger near death once when he'd been shot by Edward Scrog. I could only imagine the emotions that would be running through him if the positions were reversed.

"Do you think he'll try something at the wedding today?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even.

"I think he's more likely to try something before the wedding, but I wouldn't put it past him to try something at the church or during the reception. The wedding party is meeting at the church at one to start getting ready, so I'll be with you until then. Hal and Ramon will be staying with you as much as possible during the day. I'll be with Kinsey, and we'll have Tank and Bobby with us."

I didn't say anything until after the coffee finished brewing and I had poured us both a cup. "What will happen if he doesn't accomplish what he wants before Kinsey and Amanda leave on their honeymoon? They're going to Paris, right?"

"Kinsey said they won't leave for their honeymoon until the threat is removed."

I nodded absentmindedly while I sipped my coffee and leaned against the counter. I was feeling a bit like a sitting duck, since no one knew where Orin was or how he was moving around, and I was worried for Ranger and Kinsey. I wanted to eat a carbohydrate- and sugar-filled breakfast, but didn't imagine Ranger would want me to leave the apartment. I looked out the window in my kitchen down into the parking lot. Ranger's Turbo had been left undisturbed in the lot and there was a Rangeman SUV parked two spaces down from it.

"Who's in the lot?"

"Hal was there until midnight, then Lester took over."

Ranger finished his coffee and put the mug in the sink. "I'm going to take a shower, and then we can start discussing the agenda for the wedding and reception and the contingency plans if Orin should make his move today."

While Ranger headed to the shower, I started scouring the kitchen to see what I could pull together for breakfast. There wasn't much in my refrigerator and what was there wasn't part of the Ranger diet. I had just pulled my head out of the refrigerator and was returning to the idea of asking Ranger about going out for breakfast when I sensed a presence behind me. I didn't even have the chance to turn around before I felt a stun gun being pressed to the back of my neck and everything went black.

When I regained consciousness, it was to find that I had been propped up against my refrigerator with my hands bound behind me. Orin Carr was sitting on a dining room chair in the middle of the kitchen, dressed in army fatigues with guns, ammo, grenades, and other explosives attached his body. He was barely recognizable through the scarring on his face. To my left, I could see Ranger sitting on the other dining room chair. He was unconscious and had been bound to the chair by copious amounts of duct tape. A laptop was open on the kitchen counter and I could see what looked like surveillance camera footage. It took me a few seconds to realize that the room on the screen was my bedroom and that the footage must have been recorded during the night, as Ranger was lying in the bed next to me. The video was playing and I could tell that Ranger had been watching me sleep while stroking my hair. It made me feel sick to realize that someone had been spying on me in the privacy of my own home, and to make matters worse, it had been done when I was in bed with someone.

I heard noise next to me and realized Ranger was regaining consciousness. He took a few seconds to come around, but his gaze immediately fell on me before moving to Orin, who had been watching us intently with a lighter in his hand.

"Do you remember what I used to say about fire?" Orin asked Ranger softly, his voice sounding detached and cold. He had pale blue eyes that were boring into Ranger's dark brown ones.

"That it was the great purifier," Ranger replied, and his expression was deadly calm, which was the sure sign of his anger.

"Yes, because the excruciating pain as your flesh burns away from your body is what cleanses your soul before you die. You and Kinsey need to be cleansed, as do the women you both contaminated."

Ranger studied Orin for a minute before he spoke again. "Why?"

"You manipulated Kinsey, and you both left the unit. You broke up our brotherhood and the divine protection we had when we were together. I was sent to Afghanistan, nearly died in an attack, and was held prisoner for years until I managed to escape. While I was being held, I knew what I needed to do once I could get away. I knew I had to cleanse you and Kinsey before I could completely die."

The calmness in Orin's tone and demeanor scared the hell out of me. He was truly insane, and had nothing to live for except his desire to exact revenge.

"You can have me, but let Stephanie go," Ranger replied. "She hasn't done anything to you."

"It's what you've done to her that means I can't let her go. You've ruined her. I have proof," Orin said, gesturing towards the computer.

"Are you planning to cleanse every woman that Kinsey or I have ever slept with? That's a long list."

"The contamination isn't physical, but spiritual. By loving her and making her love you, you've contaminated her soul with the decay from yours."

"I can tell you that Stephanie's soul hasn't been tarnished by mine. I've made sure of that," Ranger said sincerely. "Why do you assume that we're in love with each other? "

"Are you denying that you're in love with her?"

Ranger locked eyes with me and I wondered what he would say. I doubted that Orin would let me go even if Ranger said no, so I figured whatever he would say would be the truth. He wouldn't want to lie in case one or both of us didn't make it through the encounter.

"No, I'm not denying it. But I'm not going to assume that she's in love with me, and you shouldn't either," Ranger answered resolutely. "She has a boyfriend. She loves him."

Orin snorted. "I know about the cop. I've seen her with him too, but it's different. She would do anything for you." He turned to look at me. "Do you deny that you are in love with him?"

Ranger and I hadn't stopped looking at each other, so I continued to hold his gaze as I spoke.

"No, I don't."

Something passed across Ranger's face that I couldn't quite decipher. Had he really not know for all of these years that I'd been in love with him? I guess I'd never actually said the words to him, but had my feelings not been evident? He'd always been able to read me and see the truth, no matter how much I tried to hide it.

The silence of the kitchen was disrupted by a knock at my door.

"I hate disruptions," Orin said, putting away his lighter and pulling his gun. "Get up and tell whoever it is to go away."

I was dragged up to a standing position and hauled through the kitchen and living room to the front door. Orin looked through the peephole to see who was standing in the hall.

"Get rid of him," he said quickly. "If you try to ask for help, I'll shoot you."

I looked through the peephole to see who it was and saw Brody Logan.

"Go away, Brody," I said.

"No, I want Tiki. He's freaked out."

"You can't have him right now. He isn't here," I said, desperate for either Brody to go away or for something to happen that would stop Orin.

"Tell me where he is," Brody demanded. "I have to get him."

"He's at my boyfriend's house. You'll have to go over there. He lives at—,"

Orin pulled me away from the door, unlocked it and wrenched it open. He grabbed Brody by the front of his shirt, dragged him in the apartment and shut the door. Brody was thrown to the ground next to me and before either of us could respond in any way, Orin pulled out his gun and shot Brody twice in the chest. I felt horrible for Brody, who had just wanted to find his tiki, but I hoped that the gun shots would alert my neighbors to the need to call the police. It took a few seconds for my horrified brain to process the fact that there was a silencer on the end of the gun, which meant my neighbors wouldn't have heard anything. No police would be coming our way.

But what about Lester? Wasn't he supposed to be down in the lot?

Orin lifted me to my feet and walked me back to the kitchen, not giving Brody's body a second glance. Ranger had clearly been trying to figure out what was going on and looked relieved to see that I was still alive. I assumed that I would put seated back on the floor, but instead I was shoved up against the refrigerator.

"I'm done talking," he said quietly. "It's time for you to start burning."

I couldn't help but scream when I saw him ignite the lighter. He pulled me a little ways away from the refrigerator and set fire to my ponytail. I could feel the flames licking my neck and I was continuing to scream and struggle to get away from Orin while trying to not set my shirt on fire. I was so caught up in my struggle that I didn't register what happened next. Orin had suddenly let go of me and I was dragged over to the kitchen sink, where I heard water start running and felt instant relief as the flames were extinguished. Orin reappeared in my peripheral vision and he had his gun drawn. Before he could fire a shot, I saw Ranger tackle him. I struggled to stand upright again and saw Ranger punching Orin in the face as he fought to get the gun. I had no clue how to help Ranger when my hands were taped behind my back, so I did the best thing I could do. I ran over to Orin and kicked him in the face, stunning him enough to allow Ranger to disarm him. Ranger pointed the gun at Orin, who had reached for a grenade on his belt, and fired before Orin could do more than touch it. A blood oozed from the hole that was now in the middle of Orin's forehead. Ranger's breathing was heavy as he put the gun down on the counter.

"Good job, babe. Are you okay?"

I nodded. "M-m-my neck is a l-little burned, but yes."

He reached for a knife that was laying on the ground and used it to cut the tape from my wrists. It wasn't until my hands were free that I realized I was trembling. Ranger found his cell phone on the counter and called 911, then Lester, who was groggy and said he thought he'd been drugged in some way. He didn't bother calling Rangeman, since they'd be on their way once they heard the police scanner go out about coming to my apartment.

Once he was off the phone, Ranger wrapped his arms around me and rested his face on top of my head.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

I nodded. "How did he get you?"

"Ambushed me when I was coming out of the bathroom."

I straightened up and took a few deep breaths. "How did you get out of the tape?"

"There was a knife on the counter. He got sloppy and didn't clear things nearby. He assumed his tape would be enough to keep me from moving. I cut myself out while you were trying to get Brody to go away."

I shook my head. "Poor Brody."

We heard the sounds of sirens in the lot, so we opened the door to the apartment and stood just outside so that police and EMTs would be able to get through more easily. Morelli arrived about five minutes after the initial group of first responders. He pulled me into a hug and held me so tight I almost couldn't breathe.

"Are you okay?" he asked, pulling away to look me over.

I nodded. "Just some scorched hair and minor burns on my neck. I'll ask one of the EMTs for some salve after they get done with the guys in there."

Morelli gave Ranger a once-over before he went into the apartment to talk to some of the police. I could see the flashes from police cameras and could hear a low level of chatter. Ranger nudged me away from the door to the other side of the hall after a couple of minutes.

"Are you prepared for what's going to happen when Morelli hears about what Orin recorded last night?" he asked, his expression serious.

My stomach did a flip and my knees started to shake. I hadn't even thought about that. Even though Morelli likely wouldn't be on the case officially, word would get out that there was footage of me having sex with Ranger. It would be embarrassing for all of us, and damaging to my relationship with Morelli. The Hawaii incident had put us in a bad place and I'd been amazed when we'd been able to work through it. I saw Robin Russell come out of the apartment with a box of evidence bags. Orin's laptop was visible in one of the larger bags. She caught my eye and walked over to me.

"Morelli hasn't seen what is on the computer," she whispered. "And I'll do my best to keep him from seeing it."

I nodded my thanks as she continued down the hall towards the open elevator. It bought me time, but it didn't spare me the conversation that would ultimately have to happen. A detective took Ranger down the hall to start getting his statement while I continued to wait just outside my door. Morelli came out of my apartment a few minutes later with my purse, a pair of shoes and Rex's hamster cage. The expression on his face told me that he knew something, but to what extent I didn't know. I put my shoes on, took my bag and Rex's cage and followed Morelli silently down the hall. Ranger caught my eye and I knew he could tell from the expression on my face that things weren't good. Morelli didn't look at me or say a word until we were in the parking lot. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the two empty condom wrappers that Ranger and I had used the night before. He slammed them down on the trunk of my car and finally met my eye. I opened my mouth to speak, but stumbled to find the right words.

"You can't say they're mine. I don't use Magnums. My dick isn't big enough to need them," Morelli said coldly. He shook his head and looked out over the lot. "Do you have any idea what it is like to find another man's condoms in my girlfriend's trash? It's bad enough that I know you two had sex in Hawaii, but again? Really?"

I felt tears burn my eyes. They were tears of guilt and confusion. I loved both of these men, and while I knew in my brain it was wrong to be with Ranger when I was in a relationship to Morelli, my heart told me otherwise.

"I'm sorry, Joe."

"I've had my suspicions before, but I never had proof. I didn't want to believe that you could do this to me. How many other times have you been with him?"

Did he mean actual number of sexual encounters or time-frames? I didn't want to say the wrong thing and hurt him even more.

"Fine, since you won't talk, I'll run through my list and you can tell me if I'm right," Morelli began. "The first time I suspected it was when Abruzzi was after you."

I nodded. "Yes, but you and I had broken up then."

"I know, so I can't count that against you, even though I hate it," he replied, counting off on his fingers. "The next time was when you were staying in his apartment when that gang was after you."

I shook my head. "No, we didn't have sex. I just stayed at his apartment." I failed to mention that we'd slept in the same bed.

"At least I'm wrong about one time," Morelli shot back. "Next was when he stayed in your apartment after his daughter had been kidnapped."

"We didn't have sex then either," I said, knowing that my tone was off.

Morelli snorted. "I'm sensing a but in there somewhere."

"We almost did," I admitted. "We got close, but—but you interrupted us."

Morelli froze. "When was it?"

I blew out a sigh, knowing that he wasn't going to let go of this line of questioning. "It was the day you said you were moving in. Ranger heard you unlocking the door and then the chain caught. That's why it took me so long to get to the door."

Anguish crossed Morelli's face. "What were you doing?"

"What?"

"What were you doing when I got there? Were you blowing him?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Was he going down on you?"

I answered by looking down at my shoes. Morelli responded with a noise of disgust.

"Were there any other times?" he asked after a minute of silence.

I met Morelli's gaze and knew that I was in a moment where my true nature was going to be tested. I could attempt to justify to myself that the vordo situation and the romp in Joyce Barnhardt's closet were close enough to the Hawaii situation to be lumped in with it and ignored, or I could be upfront with him about them, especially because there was a day where I'd had sex with both Morelli and Ranger during the vordo incident. Not that I wanted to share that particular tidbit if I could avoid it, but I ultimately had to decide what kind of person I was going to be: honest or self-preserving.

"We slept together a week or so before I left for Hawaii, and then once right after we got back," I admitted, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was going to have to face the consequences of that confession, but I thought I'd be able to live with myself a little easier than if I had lied.

The look of betrayal on Morelli's face made my heart break. As far as I knew, he'd never been with anyone else while we had been actively together. I had never known for sure about times when we'd been on a break, as neither of us had really wanted to divulge that kind of information.

"In the four years that we've been in this off-and-on relationship, I've never been with anyone else," Morelli said quietly. "Not even when we were hating each other, but now I have to find out that all but one of the times that you've been with Ranger have been while we were together." He shook his head in disbelief and stared towards the back entrance to my apartment, where EMTs were bringing out one of the bodies in a black bag. After a moment, he pulled his keys out of his pocket and worked to remove one before putting it down on the trunk of my car.

"I want my house key back. I'm done," he said.

Tears pricked my eyes at the realization of what had transpired. I pulled out my key chain and removed his house key and handed it to him. "I'm sorry, Joe. I really am."

Morelli assessed me for a moment before shaking his head. "No, you're not. Not really. You love him too, probably more than me. You're just sorry you got caught."

He turned on his heel and walked down to his car, where he climbed in without another word. I stood by and watched as he pulled out of the lot, trying to figure out what I was feeling. Guilt from hurting Morelli and being unfaithful, even if the status of the relationship was questionable. Shock and horror from the events that had occurred earlier. What was more surprising was the sense of relief and what brought it about. It wasn't just the relief of not keeping it quiet that I'd slept with Ranger while in a relationship with Morelli, but that Morelli had been the one to bring a permanent end to our rollercoaster relationship. I hadn't had to make an actual choice between the two men I loved. It had been made for me, to a degree. My car was blocked in by police cars, so I set Rex down on the trunk, pocketed the key and the condom wrappers, and leaned against it while I tried to figure out my next move. My apartment would undoubtedly be sealed off for a few days while they processed the scene. And it would need to be cleaned before I'd even be back inside, so I would have to crash in my old bedroom at my parents' house until then. I idly wondered about the wedding that was supposed to take place in a few hours and whether I'd still be expected to show up since the threat had been eliminated. That would be a question for Ranger, who was still inside, so I would have to wait to find out, especially since the maid of honor dress was still in the apartment.

Dealing with what had gone down with Ranger in the past twelve hours was another issue that had to be handled. We had both admitted to being in love with the other. In the past, Ranger had always said he loved me 'in his own way', and I'd never admitted to anything. I knew the end of my relationship with Morelli would add an unknown element to it all, though I wasn't quite sure how.