It hurts. To see someone you love love someone else. It jurts... bad. I hurt whenever Logan looks at Jasmine with dizzy eyes and drooling lips. It makes me angry. Jasmine gets everything... A perfect body, perfect clothes, perfect everything. She gets Logan... She knows he likes her... But she's leading him on, like he's some kind of dog... I'd never do that to him. The only thing is... He's my brother. I couldn't actually love him without anyone knowing. That's why I keep it hidden inside of my heart, so nobody finds out.
Its so hard not to look at him without feeling butterflies in my stomach. I've felt this way for two years... And I don't know what to do about it. If only we weren't siblings... Maybe things could be different. But who am I kidding? Why would he want me when he can have a perfect girl like Jasmine? It's unfair... You can't love who you want when it's 'forbidden'. I wish I didn't care. Things would be different and Jasmine would never get him. But I guess that's wishful thinking.
"So I Garrett told me that Jasmine is going to consider asking me out, and I'm really nervous," Logan said as we walked down the school hallway after the last bell. "She's supposed to meet me by the bathrooms..."
"Good for you," I sighed, feeling jealousy rip out my heart. "Are you gonna say yes?"
He looked at me as if I was crazy. "Hell yeah! She's... perfect."
That rips through me like a knife. Perfect. That's exactly what I want to be. "Why do you say that?"
"Well, her face is beautiful and she's tiny and thin and her hair smells good," he smiled as he talked about her.
Thin? Tiny? If that's the way he felt about girls, then maybe I should do something about my weight... Maybe he'd find me perfect, too.
"Yeah, yeah, ok, I get it," I snapped.
He ignored my mean tone as he ran up to meet Jasmine outside the bathrooms, the hallway cleared. Except for them. And me.
She whispered something in his ear, looking over at me with what looked like pride. She smiled at him, tugging him into the girl's bathroom. What the hell?! Being the slut she is, she's probably gonna do something like give him a BJ. But maybe I shouldn't make assumptions... Curiosity got to me and I pressed my ear against the bathroom door. It was quiet for at least a minute then I heard a tiny moan... It sounded like Logan. I listened for another two minutes, the moaning growing more obnoxious. Anger pulsed through my veins.
"Hey," Garrett said behind me. I quickly stood up straight and smiled a fake smile, forcing back the tears.
"Hey," I replied. "What's up?"
"Wanna walk home together?" he asked sweetly.
I grinned, sort of a real one this time. "That'd be great."