Summary-Despite going through Morrigan's ritual Darrian Tabris was killed fighting the Archdemon. Five years later Zevran is now leader of the Antivan Crows and he still grieves for his lover when he receives a letter from Alistair and his companion Aedan Cousland. A mage has laid siege to Denerim, a powerful man bearing the same face as Darrian. Disturbed and possessing a small spark of hope Zevran returns to the city where his heart was broken but he and his friends are caught up in the mage's spell. Now trapped in a time loop the party will have to venture past the Fade and into the realm called the Desert of Doors to find and battle this mage and to uncover the true reason behind Darrian's death.

Pairings-Zevran/Tabris, Alistair/Cousland

Notes-After getting the Ultimate Sacrifice ending with my elf rogue I had to write this. I also recently played a JRPG called Persona 3 and I was inspired to do this. Also Zevran may be a little OOC but after reading his epilogue for the Sacrifice Ending I can imagine his personality changed a little. I was surprised at how much my PC's death affected him and I felt like scum for making him go through that pain. Forgive me Zevran!

I have also played Cousland and Audecan so they shall be in this tale too. Basically there were three new recruits, an elf, a human and a dwarf who survived Ostagar. For my other story I got immense writer's block but I'm planning on going back to it in the future. I already have a few chapters done for this story so expect updates daily if things go right.

Anyway onto the story and enjoy.

Journey's Answer

Chapter One

No One Like You

Antiva City

Antivan Crows Headquarters

Zevran took a deep breath of the city air and finally caught the familiar scent of the leather he loved so much when he was growing up in this beautiful gem. Just being back here was soothing to his heart and although there were times when he missed Ferelden he preferred his own home to that dark place. For the blond assassin Ferelden held too many memories, all of them mixed with pain, pleasure and a happiness he thought he had lost. It was the same happiness that had been brutally taken from him.

He also knew what day it was today and none of the assassins bothered him, not on this day. Everyone here knew the story of the Grey Warden who ended a Blight before it ever began. There was even a statue of the elf erected in the city square and sometimes when the loneliness was too much Zevran went to that statue under the cover of darkness and he would sit and just stare at the face immortalised in marble.

Darrian had always been so warm even after passing through the Frostback Mountains his skin was always warm to the touch. His personality however wasn't so welcoming. He had grown up in the Denerim Alienage and as a result he distrusted all humans intently. It had taken Alistair and Elissa Cousland months just to get him to trust them. He had been one of the survivors of the massacre at Ostagar along with Alistair, Aedan Cousland, the last son of the murdered family from Highever and the exiled dwarf princess Solona Audecan.

It was hard to believe that a year later they had succeeded in destroying the Archdemon and saving Ferelden from a Blight. The cost had been Darrian's life. In the end it was a cruel twist of fate, a gamble no one saw coming. He had told Zevran of the deal he made with Morrigan, the ritual he would undertake to save his life and that of Alistair and Aedan.

But Darrian has wanted to live so he could have a life with Zevran even if that meant running from the Crows or going to Antiva. He did what he did to save his friends and to be with the elf he fell in love with. Fate was a cruel and unforgiving mistress indeed. Zevran used to ask forgiveness from the Maker every time he took a life in his line of work. Was this his punishment? It wasn't right, it shouldn't have happened. Darrian wasn't supposed to die on that tower.

Weeks after the final battle Alistair and Aedan had approached Zevran to try and help him understand and that in a way Darrian went out the way a Grey Warden should. The elf didn't want to listen; he didn't want their pity or sympathy. They lived and Darrian had been taken to that city to be buried along with the other four Wardens who died fighting an Archdemon. But his friends told him that in thirty years time Darrian would have been dead as would they.

Zevran had listened with sick fascination as his friends told him the truth about being a Grey Warden. The Taint they all possessed in their blood acted like a cancer and spread until eventually they would die. Because Aedan and Alistair were both in their late twenties they would be dead before seeing past their fortieth year if they were lucky. But despite knowing that Zevran would have wanted those thirty years with Darrian.

It would have been worth it that he knew without a doubt. His melancholy eyes were drawn away from that cold face and back across the city square. Staying in Denerim had become far too painful. People kept asking him how well he knew Darrian Tabris and if it was true about the two of them sharing a bed. Darrian had never been ashamed of Zevran, the Maker only knew why but he never denied it when people asked him.

Before leaving Zevran had went to see each of his companions to say goodbye. Leliana had been writing a song for her fallen leader but she understood why Zevran wanted to leave. They didn't show it but Sten and Shale were affected by his death just as much. The mabari hound Sirius had stayed with Aedan while Wynne returned to the Tower. Her life was nearing its end because of the Spirit she was bound to and she wanted to be within the place she called home all her life. Ogdren went back to Orzammar along with Solona.

Morrigan had vanished as was the agreement she made with Darrian. She got what she wanted and just left, never coming back even for his funeral. Zevran couldn't even find the strength to hate her for that. He was just tired and so very numb. Alistair didn't want to be a king, instead he and Aedan ventured out into the wilderness together to help rebuild the Grey Wardens in Ferelden.

Zevran had stayed in Denerim for six months before he decided to leave. Soon enough the Antivan Crows came after him again and one by one they were sent to the Maker in pieces. Some of them didn't know that he had been there during the final battle. They didn't know he stared into the eyes of the Archdemon itself. They didn't know what he had lost that night under a burning sky. Eventually the leaders of each house had come for him and he had cut each one of them down.

He fought like a man with nothing left to lose and that was exactly what he had become. With the blood of those leaders on his hands the Crows looked to him as their new leader and through a lot of politics and aggressive persuasion he was made leader of the entire organization. Soon the Crows learned of his part in the Grey Warden's adventures. In time they also learned how much Darrian Tabris had meant to him.

Men and women had offered to take him to their beds after he took control of the Crows but all he could ever see was hair as red as the most priceless ruby and eyes so green they put the most remarkable emerald to shame. Even for and elf Darrian was breathtaking to look at and that beauty did well to hide his often vicious streak. He was a skilled rogue and he grew up in an Alienage so learning how to fight was practically required for children. His trust wasn't easy to win but once you had that Darrian proved to be fiercely loyal and protective of all his friends.

Someone like him wasn't easy to find and even harder to keep. Zevran didn't want to be swallowed up into the memories again so he quickly left the statue and went back to the headquarters that also served as his home here in Antiva City. Instead he focused on the three assassins currently out on assignments and who were supposed to be returning within the week.

The blond elf scowled when he entered his bedroom only to find that elf woman Tala waiting for him with a smug grin on her face. She couldn't take no for an answer and was constantly trying to win Zevran over to her way of thinking. He didn't know why she kept this ridiculous notion up especially after what he did to her last time.

She had become so frustrated at his lack of response whenever she made advances that she screamed he should stop being so hung up on a corpse. She had gotten away with a broken arm, a broken leg, fractured ribs and a scar across her stomach. And that wasn't even counting the bruises. Frankly the woman repulsed him and he stepped away from her as smoothly as he could while going to his cabinet.

"What, not even a goodnight kiss?" she asked when he motioned towards the open doorway.

"What do you want now Tala?" he scoffed at her.

"Can I not check up on our fearless leader?" the brunette inquired with a sexy smirk. Zevran wanted to vomit.

"You've checked up on me now leave." He growled at her. He was tired and heartsick from the memories and all he wanted was to sleep and dream of a happier time when he teased a certain gorgeous redhead.

"Then you do not wish to see this letter from your friend Alistair?" Tala grinned at the look of shock on her leader's face. Normally he was so cold and emotionless to those around him.

"Alistair? What does he want?" Zevran muttered as he took the letter from her hands. She frowned a little when he didn't even say thanks.

"Would it kill you to show some gratitude?" she raised an eyebrow.

"You can leave here with no broken bones this time." The blond narrowed his eyes as if daring her to challenge him.

"Always so cold Zevran...it's been five years." Tala muttered but when she saw his brown eyes flash she knew the line had been stepped over again. "You were never this depressed when that girl you claimed to love so much died. And you killed her."

"Get out right now Tala." Zevran whispered in barely suppressed rage. "Do not speak when you have no idea how I feel."

"Did you love him that much?" she flicked her silky hair behind her shoulder. "I'm amazed one man could bring you down so easily."

"Tala..." Zevran moved too quickly and Tala found herself pressed against a wall with a dagger pressed to her throat. "I will only say this once so listen. Despite what people say and despite my reputation I loved him...I still love him. I have loved others but he was the love of my life and the very thought of touching you in the same manner makes me sick to my stomach. No one will ever take his place now get away from me before I show you just what I did to help bring down the Archdemon."

Her blue eyes widened with fear when she felt the blade press against her skin. Zevran would not hesitate to kill her and she knew it. The man wasn't afraid of his subordinates and this emptiness he carried with him made him a dangerous foe. How could the death on a single man affect Zevran this much?

Even before he took control of the Crows he was a damn good assassin but when he was hired to kill the Grey Warden things had changed. When the blond elf released her Tala wisely turned and left but she walked with whatever dignity she had left after that encounter. If that was what love did to you she was more than glad that she wasn't a slave to that pathetic emotion. All it brought was pain it seemed.

After she left Zevran slumped onto his bed with the letter in his hands. What could Alistair want to talk to him about? Before leaving Ferelden the assassin had made it clear that he wasn't coming back. But if Alistair had written to him then it must be something important. The last time something like this happened was three years ago and Alistair had written to let him know that Wynne had passed away. Zevran had returned for the funeral. He had been very fond of the old girl.

What could it be this time? His heart thumped with fear when he thought of Aedan. Had something happened to him? He knew how close Aedan and Alistair were. If anything happened to the Cousland warrior it would break the ex-templar's heart.

Taking a breath he opened the letter and began to read.