Do you ever feel like the rain won't stop? Do you ever feel like you always have bad luck? Do you ever feel like you are broken? Completely and utterly broken. People say that when you lose someone, you learn to appreciate small poetic features in life, such as birds and flowers.
Well i can safely tell you this is false perception.
False, false, false. I'll tell you why you should never believe that.
Losing something is always hard, but what happens when that something is part of you? Your mirror image. Your twin brother. My george.
It all happened so suddenly. i know that in a war you lose people, but i never imagined that i could lose him. One day I was a twin brother, the next I was the "survivor". The worst was when they kept calling me the wrong name. Everywhere I went, they kept saying his name. I kept being mistaken for him. It never used to bother me, but now the guilt crept in me.
"honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother?"
I wished I had been the one that died. Somehow, I felt apathetic about everything. I lacked motivation for just getting out of bed.
Every time I saw a reflection of myself, I kept replaying the past in my mind. I would wash my face and see him, i would brush my teeth and see him, I would comb my hair and see him. Pulling pranks on unsuspecting first years. constantly teasing dear Ronnikins. Jumping up and down on the beds, hands clamped with mine, showing that we were much more than siblings, we were best friends.
It might have took a while, but now rather than wallowing in the past and wishing for change. I have become that change. Strong and determined. I will never forget my brother, he gave me all the happiness in the world, i have just learnt to make some of that happiness myself.
Somebody once told me: Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.