Thanks you guys for waiting so long. I'll try to update sooner. Hope you enjoy, as always. xoxo- Laura

It was now 5:30 in the afternoon and I was still deliberating on what to wear to dinner for Blake's family. "I like the red dress, it suits you" says my Mom who I hadn't even noticed entering my room. I look over at her aging eyes who never seem to fade from the lingering thought of when I will be ok. But she'll never understand that "ok" isn't a place for me, "ok" is a person, and that person is Blake. "Thanks Mom" I say anyway side-tracked by my loud thoughts. "So fancy dinner huh?" asks my mom, trying to seem nonchalant, but I can see through it. "I guess..." I reply, not in the mood to make small conversation, but only wanting to see Blake soon, his face, his smile, to feel his arm wrapped around my waist. So on that note my Mother gave up on small talk kissed my forehead and told me to be safe tonight, whatever 'safe' ment for her.

"Honey, Blake's downstairs" calls out my Dad.

"Send him up" was all I said before panicking to put perfume and heels on.

"Hey there beautiful" he greets me swinging open the door, causing a rush of nerves to unwind all over my body.

"Hi" is all I can reply. My eyes were too busy taking in him in his black suit, he truly looked heavenly.

"I'll be done in a moment, sorry" I say trying to rush and put my jewlery on.

"Relax, here, let me help you" he says as he grabs a white pearl necklace and turns me around. I could feel his breath on my neck, and my stomach was in knots, I had never wanted someone so badly as I had wanted Blake at that moment. The thought of it scared me.

"There, you look stunning, now lets go before my Dad eats all of the food" he says jokingly.

I smile back at him, but take his hand and pull him back into my room before he opens my door. I fix his tie, then kiss him. It was soft but held so much - well until Max, which is what we finally decided to name the puppy Blake had gotten me, interrupted.

"We should go" I said winded, but I couldn't help but smile at Blakes disoriented face.

"Bye Mom, bye Dad" I said on my way out, so eager to leave the walls that bind me to the thoughts I left behind.

"My parent's are going to love you, promise" said Blake as we approached his front door. He probably could read the nervousness all over my face.

And in one knock the door was wide open, welcoming the aroma of something seafood, which must have been Blake's idea because he knew I loved it so much.

"Welcome to mi casa, now tu casa" said Blake's Dad half in spanish and half in english with a heavy American accent.

"Si" was all i could think of to reply, and blushed at my wasted two years of spanish class.

"The food will be ready in about five minutes, so make yourself at home until then" said Blake's father.

"Thank you Mr. -" I started to say.

"No, please call me Mark" He interrupted.

"Mark, Thank you" I replied to his friendly smile, that reminded me alot of Blake's.

"Lets go outside" said Blake tugging my hand and so I followed never wanting to let go of it.

We then walked out into his patio deck outside where there lay his infammous pool.

"Bad memories huh?" he asked me as he saw me look into the daunting water beneath.

"No" I replied indifferently, "no memory with you in it is bad" I said turning around to see his face light up.

"Dinner's ready" called his Dad from inside, and so he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight before kissing me softly on the cheeck and whispering "You'll be fine."

And so I was.

His parents were nothing but kind, yes they interrogated me but their questions were simple, like how did Blake and I meet, what are my interests, and to that I couldn't find any response except Blake, and I obviously couldn't respond that. The only question that truly stumped me was, "What are your plans for the future?" I looked down in that moment that felt like an eternity before I felt Blake's hand grab mine from beside me. I looked up at him, and could for a distinct moment see a future, one with Blake, but I know that wasn't the question being asked. So I looked up again and answered: "I don't know" and after a few moments more of dragging silence his Mother responded. "That's okay."

Overall dinner with his parents was more then what I could have hoped for, because in a sence I felt like they were trying to say "We accept you." And I knew I needed that.

So after dinner was done it must've been around 8:30 PM and I was not ready to go face what was left at home, the rest of me. So Blake suggested we go see a movie, so we did. He even let me choose, probably expecting I'd choose some romantic chick flick but instead I suprised him by choosing an action movie. "You can never go wrong with guns, blood and sex" I said winking at him as he laughed. "You truly are a piece of work" he whispered in my ear which sent yet again more goosebumps down my spine.

The movie had started and I had to admit, it was pretty awful. But I needed something to distract me from real life so I guess I got what I intended, and maybe more as I caught Blake never looking away from my face. I didn't know whether to be flattered or self concious, so at one moment I looked back. Just to have him smile and kiss me, that's when my brain had a yearning, a desire, a need. I wanted more. I had never had this feeling before.

And in less than thirty minutes I found myself in a hotel room bathroom wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I still had all my clothes on, and I was never planning on taking them off. I literally felt as if I was out of my mind, as if someone else had tooken over, because I would never do something like this.

So I stared at my relection in the mirror, wondering who the person staring back at me was.

Then I pep talked myself into getting a grip:

I'm sixteen, I'm not ready for this. I like Blake of course I like Blake. I like him alot. But he'd understand, he'd never pressure me. Okay Alessandra, now walk yourself back out there and tell him you're not ready. Go.

In that same moment I opened the door, hoping to find my dignity again. And to my surprise I found Blake sitting on the bed, with the same look on his face.

"Blake, I'm sorry, I can't do this -" I blurt out. But not before he's up on his feet hugging me.

"And I'm not asking you to, I should have never brought you here, this is all my fault, I'm -"

"No it's not" I said taking his hand, and sitting on the bed with him. "I don't know what's going on with me lately, I'm really sorry, I just can't stand being at home alone. The only time I ever feel ok, happy, is when I'm with you, and I guess I just don't ever want that feeling to go away." I say looking down at his hand in mine feeling all my regret build up in the back of my mind, it never stops building.

"Then let's not go home" he says.

"what?" I reply.

"Lets just stay here for the night, I mean I already payed for it, and it would get your mind off things, we'll leave really early before you're mom gets home from her job at the hospital."

I look up at him in thought, in thought of a whole night with Blake, no pressure, nothing. Just comfort, just support, just me and him.

So I look up at him and say yes way to eagerly, but I don't care. Because tonight I'm not waking up from nightmares and tonight I'm not crying myself to sleep.

Tonight I'm going to sleep in Blake's arms.