Reverse Psychology
Note: Written for the Sherlock Challenge March prompt: Experiment Gone Wrong
...
Rosie Watson-Holmes possessed many extraordinary qualities, but she was a typical eleven-year-old in one respect: she found her parents' behavior mortifying. It wasn't her dad's insistence on wearing hideous jumpers, or her papa's tendency to leave random body parts in the freezer. Those quirks she could tolerate. No, what drove Rosie 'round the twist was how sickeningly in love her parents were.
Of course, Rosie was glad that her dads loved each other. She never had to worry — as so many of her friends did — about constant fighting, separation, or divorce. Loving each other would be fine, if they would just keep it to themselves. But no. They had to parade it in front of the world: staring at each other like besotted bush babies, walking hand-in-hand down the street, even calling each other pet names in front of her friends.
When Rosie tried, in a mature and perfectly reasonable way, to suggest to her parents that they might want to consider keeping their private lives, you know, private, the response she got was wholly unsatisfactory.
"Are you worried that people might talk?" her dad asked.
Before Rosie could answer, her papa said, "People do little else."
Then they gave each other one of those looks, and her dad said, "At least your papa isn't ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool," and the two of them burst into completely inappropriate giggles. Two grown men, behaving like love-struck teenagers. They were hopeless.
So, the direct approach was a failure. Time to try a different tack. After some research online, Rosie decided to conduct an experiment. She laid out the parameters in her notebook.
Question: What can be done to eliminate test subjects' public displays of affection?
Background Information: Test subjects believe that it is unnecessary to conform to social norms, because "It's important to just be yourself" (Dad) and "Most people are idiots" (Papa).
Hypothesis: The use of reverse psychology will result in a reduction in test subjects' PDA.
Method: Chart baseline levels of PDA for one week. Implement reverse psychology strategy by leading test subjects to believe (erroneously) that classmates' parents are more openly affectionate with each other, and suggesting that in order to fit in test subjects ought to be more verbally and physically demonstrative in public. Chart levels of PDA for a second week, and compare data.
…
It was soon clear that Rosie's experiment had gone horribly wrong.
The hand-holding had been replaced by walking down the street with their arms fully around one another. The occasional "Sweetheart" and "Darling" and "Honey Bee" had become a constant stream of "Angel Baby Cake" and "Cuddle Bunny Lumpkins" and "Shmoopsie Pookie Pie." Determined to see her experiment through, though, Rosie forced herself to smile and tell her parents how cute they were.
On the third day, Rosie walked into the flat with a friend to find her dads actually snogging on the sofa. With an embarrassed squeak, she dragged her friend up the stairs and slammed the door to her room.
…
John pulled his lips away from Sherlock's to ask, "Should we let Rosie know that we're on to her?"
"No. This is her experiment. Let's wait for her to draw her own conclusions."
…
End Note: Don't you dare write a review of this fic.
;)