Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to the Twilight Saga, they are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

Carlisle POV

As I tried to concentrate on anything other than the excruciating pain fighting its way through my veins, I stared around the desolate cellar in which I had hidden myself. There were piles of rotten vegetables everywhere, much the same as the pile of potatoes I was in now. The only source of light was a small window, high up on the wall, on which my back was pressed.

About three of four days passed before I felt the fire begin its journey back it my heart. I felt the relief that it was out of my limbs but the relief was short felt. As it rushed back to my chest, the flames seemed to get hotter as they licked at my lungs and throat. I let out a sharp gasp of pain before the fire went out, leaving only the burning in my throat behind. I had closed my eyes and I slowly opened them as I stood up.

I stared down at my pale, almost white, hands. I brushed some of the rotten potato peelings off of my clothes. I looked again around the small cellar that I had found myself in. I could see everything so clearly. The tiny window was letting in a small ray of dusty light. I reached up, as if I could touch it, and I watched, fascinated, as my hand let off tiny rainbows of light. I pulled it back out of the light. I let my brain try and process what had happened and when I realised, I staggered back in disgust.

I was one of the monsters that I had been told all of my life that I should destroy. If my father found out, he would kill me. I heard a slight movement from upstairs, someone rolling over in bed. I found I was able to stop breathing. I ran as quickly as I could, through the early morning light. My pace was too quick for any other person to see. I ran straight out of London and I carried on through the countryside.

I stopped once I reached a cliff, its face jagged. I sat on the edge, letting my legs dangle, in what would have been dangerous had I not been what I was. I considered what to do with myself now. There was a small puddle of surprisingly clear water to my left and I peered cautiously into it.

The face that stared back was so different to the one I was used to. The man's skin was much paler than mine, and his face was much more perfect than mine should have been. I lifted my hand up and put a finger under my now blood red eyes. I sat back away from the puddle again. I ran a hand through my hair, as I thought about what I should do now. I couldn't let another monster be loose in the world; I had seen what my kind did to people. I glanced down, at the sheer drop below me, and I didn't think, I just let go of the edge that was holding me at the top of the cliff.

The fall seemed to take forever. I waited for the cold water to rush up and drown me as soon as I hit the water, if the fall didn't kill me. But to my surprise when I hit the water, I stopped breathing again. I waited for when my body would need to take a breath, but it never happened. I was in the water for a least an hour before I gave up. I swan to the shore and pulled myself out. I lay back, dejected that my attempt didn't work. I wondered what would.

Over the next few months, I tried everything. I tried so many things and nothing worked. I still hadn't drunk anything, including the thing I wanted the most. Blood. I had seen my reflection very few times, but it seemed that my eyes were getting darker with each passing day and I also knew that my willpower was wavering.

One day, many months after my transformation, I was wondering through the forest. Suddenly a delicious smell hit my nostrils. I ran after it and soon I was upon it. I drank down the glorious liquid, it was quenching the fire in my throat if only slightly. I had closed my eyes and I dreaded opening them. Surely, I had killed someone? I only hoped that they had had a long life. I slowly opened my eyes and I looked at what I had killed. I was surprised to see that it was not an unlucky human in my arms, but a deer.

I had never thought about the possibility of my existence being anything more than that of a monster. But here I was proven wrong. I had never heard of this kind of life, maybe this would be what killed me in the end. But at least if this was to be my downfall, then I wouldn't kill anyone else in the process.

Over the next few years my lifestyle evolved. I would hunt the animals that roamed in the forests surrounding London. I found that my eyes were no longer red, but were a golden colour instead. I still had no idea how I would react, should I come into contact with a human. I had yet to meet another of my kind either. I hoped that when I did they would be able to help me, as I was yearning to know more about us.

The day came, though, when I had to test myself. I was on a hunting trip and I could smell the most delicious scent. I stopped breathing as I crept slowly towards where the smell was coming from. I came across a young girl, her hands clutched to her waist where I could see the bright red staining her pale cream dress that was covered in grass stains. It was obvious that she had been running for a while, her heart was erratic and her breaths came out quickly, in pants.

"Please, sir, please help me." She limped over to me. I gazed at her in alarm. Her blood was still gushing out of the wound, and she had small grazes all over her arms. I backed away from her, shaking my head, trying to clear it.

"I cannot." I used up a tiny amount of my air supply to respond. I could hear shouts in the distance. I couldn't quite make out what they were saying yet.

"Please! I don't want to die! Please! If they find me, they'll burn me as a witch!" Her eyes grew wild and they widened with terror. So she had run from a witch hunting party. I glanced at the wrist she was shoving at me. On the skin was a strawberry birthmark.

"I cannot. I am sorry." I used up the last of my air supply. She fell forwards then, and I had no choice but to catch her. I knelt, placing her head in my lap. My mind was telling me that it would be so easy just to take her, to drain her. But the side that was still me, the rational side, told the other voice to be quiet.

I had no idea how to treat her. My father had never let me near any physicians, thinking it a weak profession. How I wished that I could help the poor girl. She was only around fifteen. She had so much that she should live through in her life.

I could feel her heart growing weaker, and her breathing became shallower. Her body convulsed once and then she lay still. I brushed the leaf tangled fair hair from the face. I gazed at her closed eyes, before I picked her up and carried her to the trunk of a tree and lay her against it, so that if there was someone in the clearing, they couldn't see her. I could the shouts of the humans getting closer and I ducked down behind a fallen tree. They men filled the clearing, looking up and down for the girl and finding no trace of her. They saw the blood on the ground and the trail leading away.

One of the men spoke up. "If she's bleedin' like that, then I think that she'll be dead soon anyway. Let the wild animals have her. Witch!" He spat at the ground.

There was a murmur of agreement and soon the men were gone. I went back to the girl and I dug a deep grave, so that the animals couldn't dig her out again. It took only a few minutes. I placed her gently in it and I said a simple prayer for her soul. Then I filled in the grave, hesitating a moment before turning around and leaving.

I was shaken by the incident and I kept thinking about it. I still wished that I could have helped her in some way. I wandered into the city, testing myself. I wasn't concentrating on where I was going, so when I finally looked up I stopped in my tracks.

I was outside of my old home. The small church was the same as how I remembered it, except that the cross that used to hang above the alter was now above the door. I walked towards the door, reaching up to brush my fingers against the wood. I opened the door to peer into the darkness. I could see clearly even though it was dark and I looked to see if there was anyone there. I crept in and I sat in one of the pews.

Since my transformation into a vampire, I had firmly believed that I was now a soulless monster, something that God could no longer care about. But here in this building, I felt that maybe I had a chance. I had chosen a different path to the normal vampire.

I had chosen not to kill the innocents around me. I hunted differently.

A small noise to my left alerted me to the fact that I wasn't alone. I stood quickly as a black shape smashed into me. I fell back and I was slammed into the wall. I felt a vicious growl leave my mouth. My opponent responded with a growl of his own. I pushed him off me, as I sank into a low crouch. I couldn't see were the vampire had gone. Suddenly there was a hand at my throat, pushing me into the wall with a thunderous crack.

"Who are you?" A harsh voice hissed from near my neck. "Why are you here?"

"I'm Carlisle. I used to live here." I felt the pressure leave my neck. Suddenly there was a candle near my face. I could now see my attacker's face. He had dark hair framing his dirty face. He took in my ragged clothes and stepped back.

"Carlisle...?"

"Cullen. Carlisle Cullen. And you are?" I took a step to my right so that I wasn't against the wall.

"Alistair," he replied, his voice still suspicious

I looked behind myself quickly. There was a large hole where my back had been. I whipped my head back to look at Alistair. He was looking at me curiously.

"What's different about you?" His eyes narrowed at me. I then noticed that his eyes were a deep crimson. I resisted the urge to shudder.

He leaned closer and my instinct told me to run. But I couldn't because I had stupidly placed myself in a corner. His eyes widened again in surprise.

"You have golden eyes? How is that possible?" He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"I only drink the blood of animals." Now that he had leant away from me again I walked out of the corner.

"Who was the lunatic who taught you that? Who created you?" He went and sat in a pew. I followed suit.

"I don't know who created me. And I came up with the idea myself. I don't want to take human life."

Alistair snorted. "That is what we are created for. We are better than the humans."

I felt the corners of my mouth go down. "We were once human too."

He changed the subject. "Has anyone ever explained the rules to you?"

"What rules?" My eyebrows knit together.

He sighed. "I guess not. Well, I suppose that there is really only one law that must be obeyed."

Vampires had laws? "And what is that?"

"That we do not flaunt what we are. Have you ever seen yourself in sunlight?"

I nodded.

"That is one of the things that you must avoid doing around humans. And don't draw attention to yourself. They will kill you if you do." There was a tone of grave seriousness in Alistair's voice.

"Who are they?"

"The Volturi."

"Who are the...Volturi?"

"They are a very old and powerful coven, from Italy. They are a bit like...royalty I suppose. They also have their guard, most of which have formidable gifts. The main coven is made up of the ancients, Aro, Marcus and Caius and their wives. Every now and again, someone steps out of line, reveals themselves or have gone insane. The Volturi wipe them out. You don't want to provoke the Volturi. Not unless..."

I waited for him to continue. "Not unless...?"

He met my eyes. "Not unless you want to die."

We were both silent, contemplating. I wondered what these Volturi were like. I had no idea that this world I had found myself in could be so civilised.

I spent a few months with Alistair, never really getting too attached to him. Then came the day when I returned from a hunt, to find a note in my room. It was from Alistair, telling me that he had left and wishing me good luck with my strange diet.

I knew that the day would come when he would decide to leave. I looked around the pitifully empty room as I made up my mind. I had nothing here that I wanted. I turned and walked back out of the door that I had just come through.

I stalked down the narrow alleyways and streets and in the evening light I could make my plans.

I reached the outskirts of the city and I didn't give it a backwards glance as I raced to the coast. I eventually reached the very cliff that I had tried to kill myself by falling from. I took a few steps back before running forward and jumping into the water.

The water felt warm to my cool skin. I took a minute to find my bearings and then I started swimming.

Within a few hours I was on the opposite coast. I walked up and down the beach, checking that my pocket still held the small amount of money I had bought with me. I looked one last time at the outline of the English coast before I strode into my new life.