Okay, so I had another retarded story idea that I just had to get down…drunken Transformers. I know the concept isn't new at all (considering the microbots episode from the G1 series---my favorite episode btw ;) and I wanted to do one BADLY to say the least. Now, I see a lot of the mechs getting hammered in these fics, and I thought I'd hop off the wagon; what would it be like for a femme to get hammered? More specifically Elita One? lol.
BTW: Also, going back over my previous stories I noticed how many spelling and gramatical errors they have (I'm trying to keep it to a minimum I swear but sometimes it just doesn't work out in my favor) OH! OH! OH! And if any one can tell me the title and/or soundtrack and/or artist of the song they're singing you get an energon goodie! or a hot fudge sundae ;) Tell me in the comments Much luv always r&r and Plz enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers or any thing related all belongs to Hasbro (It sucks that I have to keep putting this but at the risk of being sued for money I clearly don't have, I'll keep doing it)
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The rec-room was quiet aside from Ultra Magnus sipping his energon and the steady hum from the lights above head. Optimus stared down at his wrist watching the chronometer tick. Astroseconds quickly become minutes and he released a discontented groan.
"It's getting late Magnus, shouldn't they be back by now?" He asked looking up at the city commander.
"Optimus, its Elita's day off she deservers to stay out and have a good time." He said laying a reassuring hand on his best friends shoulder, "She's with Jetfire and the femme's; she's fine…though I can't say the same for Jetfire. Primus knows that mech's processor is instinctively programmed to ignoramus mode." He added with a slightly amused snort, and murmured something about similarities to the twins as he raised the cube to his lips once more.
A slight smile tugged at Optimus' masked faceplate; perhaps he was worrying too much. It wasn't every day his sparkmate got to leave her responsibilities behind and just have fun, and it always warmed his spark to see her so content and relaxed after a long night out with the femmes...and for some odd reason Jetfire. Sometimes he'd go with her if work didn't prevent him, but if not she'd always come back to him sharing her night in grave detail. But in the mornings that followed her resolve would noticeably fade and it was back to data files, training, giving orders and war.
His sighed, "You're right Magnus she needs a night off. Leadership does take its toll on us every now and then. " Magnus nodded in agreement. But then, sudden chattering and laughing came from the hall way. Strangely, it sounded like singing as well. Optimus raised an optic ridge at the city commander who only shrugged just as bewildered to the carrying on outside. Opening the door, both their optics widened and jaws dropped, neither were prepared for what they saw.
"Oh yeah! Sing it for me girls!" Jetfire cheered swinging his hips, "Yeah hit it Moonie baby!" Elita slurred laughing with one hand clinging to Jetfires helm; she was perched atop his shoulders.
"Hehehe, Okie dokie then!...Nothings gonna stand in our way! (Imitates guitar riff)...Nothings gonna stand in our waaaay! (Imitates the same riff)" The minty green femme sang bobbing her head to the makeshift beat of whatever song she was singing. Chromia and Firestar struggled to hold onto Moonracer as their heads fell into cadence with the young femme all the while, laughing .
"Nothings gonna stand in our way--NOT TONIGHT! (imitates riff) We want it ALL!!!" Elita and Jetfire bellowed bobbing their heads and throwing their hands up continuing to rock, weave and laugh hysterically.
The commanders gazed in ghastly disbelief at the bunch; they were all, for a lack of better words, plastered continuing to sing and carouse wildly in the hall way. Jetfires glazed optics met Optimus with a start and beamed happily, trotting up to his leader, he nearly colliding with him, "Hey Optimus buddy! (Snickers)…Man, you bagged a good one! This femme, right here," he motioned to the giggling pink femme on his shoulders, "Can pound 'em BACK!" He slurred continuing to snicker.
"Hey! I only had…uhh...One cube!" Elita protested trying to fold her arms finding it difficult as Jetfire couldn't seem to stand still. Chromia snorted, "Oh sure, one cube--one cube we kept REFILLING!" They all burst into raucous laughter again leaving two red, white and blue commanders completely mortified.
"Oh frag, (snickers) I am sooo…WASTED!" Elita blurted as she slouched over the shuttles helm, arms dangling. Optimus placed a hand to his hot face shuttering his optics tight. He couldn't believe what he was seeing! Either it had been a while since he'd seen Elita drunk or this was the first, and something in his processor told him it was the latter. She was too refined for this bull slag; the loved, revered and feared Elita One was now a mere (drunken) shadow of her former self. What a sad sight this was…and how embarrassing for her sparkmate.
His processor was on the verge of freezing up as he tried to comprehend the madness around him. Ultra Magnus saw the distress in his leader's optics and immediately took control of the situation. "Alright Moonracer, Firestar, Chromia--to your recharge chambers, NOW."
"No way!"
"Nu…uhhh…" Firestar uttered before lazily falling backwards to the floor.
"Frag you! You…you old stuck up bastard!" Chromia protested indignantly, placing her hand on her hips. Ultra Magnus sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, "Very well." And he promptly strode over hooking a massive arm around both defiant femmes easily securing them under his arms.
"You, Jetfire, put Elita down and make yourself useful." He ordered motioning towards a softly snoring Firestar on the floor.
"Aww, c'mon Magnus!" Ultra Magnus dangerously narrowed his optics, and the shuttle flinched; even drunk, Jetfire had enough sense not to test the city commander. As carefully as he could, he grabbed Elita off his shoulders and planted her on the floor. Her knees buckled as soon as she touched the ground, falling right onto her aft in a giggling fit.
Jetfire scooped the red femme off the floor and staggered after the city commander down the hall. Once the two were out of sight, Optimus turned his attention back to his, aforementioned, "wasted" sparkmate and sighed. He bent down picking the glazy eyed, chuckling femme off the floor.
"Oooh…how you doin' handsome?" She purred, lazily slinging her arms around his neck. Opimus shook his head and rolled his optics as he held the helpless femme. With a grunt, he took her right arm and leg laying her across his shoulders and marched toward their private chamber. He would've held her bridal style, as he usually did whenever he carried her, but considering her present state of mind, it wouldn't have done much good for her dignity as it was diminished astroseconds ago.
"Heeey…you look even better from this angle Optimus, I can see your aft...in action! Switch-switch-switch…" Optimus couldn't help but chuckle as she continued to voice his movements.
"Slaggit...I'm jealous!" She blurted suddenly and he raised an optic ridge. Was she spewing nonsense? Or did she really want his attention? He couldn't tell and decided to ask anyway.
"Jealous of what?" He asked cocking his head to meet her dazed optics. "You're hotter than me Optimus! It's not Fair!" She glowered but could hardly keep her faceplate composed as Optimus started laughing heartily and she soon followed him. It was odd, but funny to the Autobot leader, and he continued to question her.
"How do you figure that?" He laughed, and they went on into a series of mock debating as they continued to their chamber.
Somewhere between the laughter and playful banter he'd forgotten his shame for the once reputable femme commander and actually enjoyed the company of the relaxed and clearly happy femme on his shoulders and he beamed happily, that's all he ever wanted; for Elita to forget her duties as a leader, as a solider and just have fun, and from what he could tell she'd had a good night out with the Autobots. He made a mental note to go back and thank Jetfire and the femmes for showing his sparkmate a good time, once they were sober of course.
Finally they made it to their chamber, laughing, rocking, weaving and all. He closed the door and walked over to their berth easily placing her atop the sheets. She lay still for a moment before absently wrapping the sheets around her body like an oversized cloak. His optics couldn't help but notice how wonderfully the thin sheet accentuated the pronounced curves of her body and he shuddered visibly with delight.
She grinned wickedly standing up on her wobbling knees and opened her arms wide like a predatory bird. His optics closely followed her movements as she motioned for him to come to her and he obliged happily. Granted she was drunk off her aft he had to admit, she was pretty funny this way and stranger still, he wanted to see what else this side of Elita was capable of......
Next up: Optimus is girded to the world of hot, drunken interface (Whoo-Hoo!)