Disclaimer: I, 000LuvYaoi000 don't own Beyblade or its characters. Also, this is a parody to those "… for Dummies" books which I also don't own. This applies to the current fic and all the chapters that belong to it.
Warning: I don't intend to perpetuate or support war. This fic is merely an exaggerated caricature.
A.N.: I wasn't sure how to continue this theme, because I didn't feel like doing another pregnancy fic, but then it occurred to me that I could just make it something funny.
I don't know Makoto's real birthday. In "We'll make it!" he was born in the beginning of December so this is it.
As a celebration of my first year on FF! This is a parody to those "… for Dummies" books.
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Thank you for reading this edition of "War for Idiots"! I will now make a simple resume on the most important steps and details to follow.
1st Step: Declaring war.
Even if obvious to some, declaring war is indeed a very important step in order to breeze through a war. Without it there's no war after all!
In regard to this matter, it's possible that you are reading this because someone has declared war to you. If this is the case: congratulations on having a mortal enemy!
If on the other hand you intend to declare war to someone: you Sir, are a bully.
In medieval ages, it was customary to throw a glove at your opponent when declaring war to him. However, we are more civilized. In order to declare war to your enemy just go to him and tell him your intentions with a good dosage of insults and cursing. If you think you haven't been clear enough then maybe some rough physical explanation can be used.
Your opponent should by then understand your intentions and agree with you with his own dosage of insults and foul language. Congratulations! War is about to begin!
Note: If by any change, your enemy doesn't understand you or seems to like you more than before, leave him alone. There has to be something wrong with him.
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If anyone had ever said that Hiwatari mansion was small, his or hers sanity would clearly be questioned. Still, at the present moment it is unquestionable that even the powerful building is suffering from a giant affluent.
Roughly estimating inside the structure are five hundred employees, only high ranks, from the seventy three Hiwatari companies and associates, from forty five different countries, as well as the hundreds of socialites from the city, and respective paparazzi, and the whole Beyblade world: teams, directors and celebrities. So one could guess that inside the mansion were presently one thousand people.
And the occasion? It's December the 2nd, Makoto's birthday. Third birthday to be more precise. Quite extravagant, no? If you were to ask Takao, who was the keenest on throwing a giant party, he would most definitely tell you that this was not what he had in mind. He could do well with just the Beyblading world. But the word got out and soon everyone knew and Takao was soon forced to call a second and a third catering services for the party crashers.
And what made such a mundane occasion become such a freak show? The rumors of course!
The official story involves adoption that forced the Russian to quit Beyblade and his boyfriend, now officially, to follow suit to help him and a quiet get away to Russia to escape the spotlight's pressure; but of course the favorites involved mistresses, cloning, sexual slavery, running away from home and teenage pregnancies, which hit a little too close to home. Therefore, this was an unmissable opportunity to gather some more rumor material and just be a jetsetter.
And the Directors and Heads of Department couldn't let the opportunity to slide through as they should probably meet he who would be the next Hiwatari head. Having a good relationship with the next boss is always a must, even if he's just three years old.
Giving how things were going and seeing the numbers increase, Takao decided to lock the kids in another room just to keep them from being squashed by the crowd. Makoto would come out later to blow the candles and hopefully the huge mob would leave.
"Hey! Where do we leave the presents?" Mao cheerfully, in her traditional Chinese dress, chirped above the crowd.
"By the mountain." Takao tiredly dismissed. "Are you guys staying for the small party afterwards?" The blunet quietly whispered his nekojin friend.
"Yes. I'm glad Kai warned us, otherwise we would have turned around when we saw this!" He warily glanced around watching the hundreds of superficial uncaring people. "And didn't you meant 'pile'?"
The navy blue haired young sadly denied. "Nope. Mountain." He pointed at the "pile" of presents that were being dropped by the stairs, where three years before a giant tree had been. It was so big that it was hard to see.
"The kid is going to be a little spoiled don't you think? Miaka might be jealous too." Mao teased.
"No way. Most of it is garbage. Half of the people here don't even know his age as much as his gender! And the other half didn't even bother; they just grabbed the first thing that came to hand!" The blunet was fuming out all the past hours frustrations.
"Maybe you can use something to the new acquisition!"
"Huh?"
"Oh? Are you and Kai dropping out? And here I thought that I would have a worthy opponent to test my motherly skills against!"
Finally realizing the pink girl's implications, Takao smirked evilly. "Oh, you were actually serious! Worry not, we aren't drooping out; in fact, things should be progressing at this precise moment." He patted his own chest proudly.
"Great! It's just the first step to your defeat!" Mao laughed confidently.
"Oh, oh, oh. You seem very keen on making yourself suffer! Fine! The first to run to the other for help loses!" Takao summoned his windy fighting aura.
Mao also summoned her own, that resembled lightning. "That will be you! I'm a girl don't forget! When this is over you'll be crying about the unluckiness of gender choices!"
They viciously gripped each other's hand while smiling creepily, their auras clashing and scaring guests away from them.
"Guys! Don't talk about it here! Someone may listen and then you would be in trouble, Takao!" Rei tried to preach then apart.
"Ah! I need to go get Makoto for him to blow the candles!" Takao was the first to let go and quickly scattered to fetch his son.
But through the rest of the night it was clear that something had happened between the two of them.
War had begun.
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A.N. I'm not going to leave you without KaTy goodness! Since it is a different gender of fic it's different to write. Forever Kitty will return to you next September so until then you have this edition of War for Idiots!