ONE WAS MALE, THE OTHER FEMALE.
written by kenobigirl66
They met in one of the older, more secluded gardens of 500 Republica that lay near the outskirts of the district. The sun was setting and lightening could be seen illuminating the sky, coloring Coruscant's expanse in dark blue and pink hues. The wind howled in the distance and the light rustle of leaves and foliage filled the air in anticipation of the storm at hand. Two hooded figures stood in a clearing, either oblivious or unconcerned with the atmosphere's unrest. One was larger than the other. One was male, the other female.
"What we did was a mistake." Said the male.
"You don't believe that." The female replied with confidence, as she pulled the hood back that had been concealing her face, releasing her brown locks.
"Padme, I have to believe that. If I don't, what does that say about me?" The man said, trying to keep his distance. Thunder softly rolled in the background, and a light rain began to patter on the tree canopies acting as a filter above, allowing only a few drops to light on the hidden conspirators.
"It says that you feel, that you're capable of love." Padme replied, voice heavy with emotion. She reached for him, but he stepped back, leaving her hand empty and cold. She awkwardly let if fall back to her side, the pain from his action written plainly on her face.
"Please, let me see your eyes, don't hide from me." She said, looking up at him.
She heard a sigh escape from under his hood. He looked away, hesitant to comply. Finally, he slid the coarse material back from his head, revealing the prominent blue eyes that she ached to see, to read. He crossed his arms over his chest tightly and furrowed his brow. A convincing look of determination, no doubt. But whom was he trying to convince, her or himself?
She looked deep into his eyes. Now, he couldn't hide from her. Again, but slowly this time, she reached for him. He didn't recoil, her hand came to rest on his chest, just above crossed arms. She felt the tightness in his body, the tension in his arms melt away at her touch.
Her eyes searched his conflicted ones. "Stop this Obi-Wan. Hold me."
His resolve and harshness had completely dissolved. He couldn't deny her, he'd never been able to. Perhaps that's why they stood here now, in the cover of night, in the situation they were now both facing.
He wrapped his arms around her, completely encompassing her in his safety. She lay her head against his chest, above his beating heart. She closed her eyes. This was where she belonged, this was her place.
But what about Anakin? She couldn't acknowledge her rightful place without acknowledging the unwanted position she'd gotten herself into first. She had no excuse, what she'd done was wrong. The passion she'd shared with Anakin was fueled by adrenaline, lust, and a touch of pity. She did love him, but it was only after they were married, after the proverbial "dust" settled that she'd realized it was a plutonic love, then she'd realized her mistake.
A mistake that she'd forced Obi-Wan to live with, as well as herself for the past two years. Her folly had finally taken it's toll on her lover and he'd called it off four months ago. But she had noticed the struggle in his eyes when they'd seen each other those months when they were parted, the hunger on his lips when he'd spoken to her in passing. Finally, the ache had become too much for the both of them and they'd fallen back into their old ways.
She knew she should ask Anakin for a divorce, but she also knew that would kill him. For all his strength and power, he was still just a fragile little boy. A little boy that, unfortunately for her, didn't know his own strength. When she'd even hinted that perhaps their love wasn't what they'd once thought it was, he'd grabbed her and raised his hand as if to strike her. Thankfully, his actions hadn't gone farther. Even now, she was glad that her and Obi-Wan had decided to meet in the night. She didn't want him to see the black and brown bruise that she wore on her wrist like a bracelet. Obi-Wan was always gentle and calm, but were he to find out about her husband's roughness, she would, no doubt, find herself fearing for Anakin's life.
That was one thing about Obi-Wan, he was always protecting her. She'd known he loved her years ago when he'd jumped through the window of her Coruscant apartment in pursuit of her would be assassin. Jedi or not, that was a fool-hearty move. A move that she'd suspected was driven by something deeper than a sense of duty. Nevertheless, she'd been thankful, and a little flattered to be honest. Even then, she'd known where her heart lay.
Her final decision to marry Anakin hadn't been born of ignorance, quite the contrary, but from a complete knowledge. She desired what every other being in the galaxy did; to be loved. She needed a love that wouldn't be hindered, that burned so fiercely that not even the most treacherous gale could extinguish it. Oh yes, her knowledge was all too clear in the fact that she was completely aware that Obi-Wan Kenobi could not provide her with these things. Their love would always be hindered by his dedication to the Order, by his sometimes painful logic and reasoning. No, he could never really be hers. So in trying to avoid heartbreak, she'd acted selfishly and did the next best thing. Or what she, at the time, had thought to be the next best thing, and married Anakin. She now realized that in trying to spare herself, she'd become the barer of the very heartache and pain that she'd so painstakingly tried to avoid. Not one day went by that she didn't regret her decision, and now as her swollen stomach pressed against the one she truly loved, that regret burned as bright as any sun.
"What are we going to do?" She said lifting her head from the warmth of his body, from the comforting thud of his heart. It had been so long since they'd touched, since their last encounter. "Obi-Wan, I'm afraid."
He loosened his embrace and rested his forehead against hers, their noses were almost touching. Saying nothing, he lovingly placed one hand on the bump that protruded between them. She knew he'd wanted to ask about the paternity the moment he and Anakin had returned from rescuing Palpatine a month ago, but he still hadn't. Why? Did he suspect that it wasn't his? She herself had been too hurt and embarrassed to ask about his silence on the subject. So, ignoring his reluctance, and the tiny voice in the back of her head, she'd decided to assume everything was alright. "Talk to me, tell me what you're thinking." She said.
Obliging, he replied. "I'm thinking about you, this baby, what we've gotten ourselves into, about my own foolishness." With that he looked away from her.
She gently pulled his face back toward hers. His beard was damp and his hair had begun to cling to his face with the weight of the falling rain. He was so handsome that her insides fluttered with the distraction. "Foolishness? How can you call our love foolishness, all that we've experienced. The intimacy that has passed between us, the secrets we've shared."
"Padme," He said pleadingly. "I would never call our love as such, you know that. I only meant," He removed his palm from her belly and placed it over her hand that had remained on his face. He pulled it over and kissed her soft skin. "I should have been stronger, I shouldn't have put you in this situation in the first place."
"Hey, it was my decision as well, I was present during all of this too." She sternly reminded him. She wouldn't let him fall into the self-derogation he was so prone to. He gave a small knowing smile and straightened the facial hair under his nose. She knew him too well. "Do you love me as I love you?" She whispered, insecurity now creeping onto her fair features.
He took her face in his hands and answered in a deep soothing tone. "Darling, there is nothing in the galaxy that possess my love as you do; and that's what worries me."
Her heart soared to hear his love spoken, his velvety voice cutting the tension that had amassed in the night air.
"You know I would never do anything to hurt you." She said, attempting to ease his worry, their lips a mere breath away from capturing each other.
"I fear you already have." His words hurt more than any physical pain Anakin could ever cause her. She pulled away from him, weary of his suddenly cryptic and apprehensive nature.
"What is it that you want from me Obi-Wan, what would you have me do? Something is clearly bothering you, let's get it out of the way so we can get back to the way things were!"
"That's the problem, I can't go back to the way things were. Not now!" He motioned with his head toward her abdomen. "I love you too much, I won't share you." He smoothed his wet hair back from his face. "I'm sorry Padme, I know I told you I'd never make you choose but," his face washed pale in the stark illumination of a distant lightening strike. "We can't do this anymore, it's either me or him." The last half escaped his lips as barely more than a whisper. It seemed his confidence was wounded and fading. He couldn't hide the fear that lay behind his words, his ultimatum. He was afraid of her decision.
Taking in all that he had said, she turned and walked slowly to the nearest bench and sat. He was right, she wasn't being fair to him, to Anakin, or to the baby she now carried. Truth be told, she hadn't slept with her husband in almost a year, another reason why he often lost control. She had always managed to come up with an excuse, or be unavailable during his free time. She hadn't told Obi-Wan that, she thought he just knew. I guess I was wrong. No wonder he was so hurt by her actions; he thought she carried Anakin's child. Unknowingly, she'd been torturing him.
He kneeled on one knee in front of her and placed his hand on top of hers that now lay in her lap. He looked up at her, his blue eyes silently pierced the night in search of an answer, pleading for a response.
"I want to be with the father." She finally said, heavy with guilt as she released a sigh.
With those words Obi-Wan's heart broke. Surrendering, he laid his forehead on their stacked hands. He couldn't look at her, he didn't know what he'd wanted, what he thought might happen, but he knew this wasn't it. He just needed to be with her, he never meant for it to go this far. Now he'd forced her to make a decision. Regret coursed through his being.
She freed one of her hands and laced her fingers through his hair. He shuttered just thinking of not being with her.
"We do what we must Padme." He said, with a sadness he didn't try to hide. A sadness that would dominate his feelings every time he laid eyes on the child, on a child that should have been his, that he had hoped was his.
He would respect her choice of course, even if he disagreed with it. After all, it wasn't his to make. He tried not to indulge his most basic male instincts and thoughts that fought their way to the surface of his consciousness: You lost the girl, you weren't good enough. What kind of man just stands by and lets the woman he loves be with another? The child isn't yours, and now neither is she.
At the height of his self-disgust, slim fingers lifted his face and his eyes were met with an unexpected smile. He frowned, confused.
"Obi-Wan, you are the father, and it's you I want to be with."
They'd met in one of the older, more secluded gardens of 500 Republica that lay near the outskirts of the district. The sun was beginning to rise. The thunder and lightening had died down and the storm had finally been abated. The rays of Coruscant's star could be seen illuminating the sky, coloring the city-planet's expanse in dark orange and numerous shades of blue. The wind gently blew in the distance and the light rustle of leaves and foliage filled the satisfied morning air in anticipation of a new promising day. Two hooded figures stood in an unbreakable embrace in a clearing, either oblivious or unconcerned with the affairs of the galaxy. One was larger than the other. One was male, the other female.
END.