title A Dumb Darkness
author khushiyan
fandom; character Avatar: The Last Airbender; Zuko, Katara, Aang.
prompt 021. Underneath for lj community 50scenes
rating PG
setting Post FM.
an Again, the inspiration is Raat Hamari Tho. Companion piece to The Nights is Ours. It'll make more sense if you read that first, but I think it's also readable as it is. :) Also, the title: 'dumb' as in mute or not speaking, not dumb as in stupid, from the poem 'Though I get home late, how late, how late' by Emily Dickinson. And I'm sorry for the shit summary. :( I suck at summaries.
summary Katara's hurt and he watches. A realisation of sorts.
Samjha key baatein bhi koi bhujadey aaj
Andherey se ji bharke karni hai baatey aaj.
Quieten the words of the lamps today,
I want to speak with the darkness to my hearts content today.
Sokka towered over her and she wondered when he outgrew her. It was obvious that he'd someday shoot up, being a year older and a boy, but she can't quite remember when she had to start craning her neck upwards to look at him. It seems strange to her. They'd been equals for so long and now, they're not. She furrows her brow and he smiles sympathetically at her.
"You okay Katara?"
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" She replies flippantly, even though she can feel the strain inside her.
He sighs heavily and she thinks she sees Hakoda in him, that weary but unblemished grief on his shoulders.
"I don't know," Sokka shrugs and sits down next to her. "You've been acting so strange for the past few days."
"What are you talking about Sokka?" She knitted her brow together in confusion and a secret outrage. He looks at her with bright eyes, searching for something familar. She smiles at him and for a second, he thinks he's found it.
"It doesn't matter Katara... But if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here okay," he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
"Okay, grandpa," she laughs slightly, trying to make him forget why he had to search for her in the first place. "You go wash up and call the others. Dinners almost ready, 'kay?"
He nodded and pulled away and clambered out of the kitchen, into the hallway.
As soon as she thinks there's no one around, she rests her head in her hands and takes several deep breaths. Something was wrong inside, something was definately wrong but she doesn't know what it is.
She's too afraid to think about it. "I just want to go home," she says to the darkness. "I just... I just want to go home..." The next time she says it, her voice is so cracked with an uncertain grief that she wants it swallow her whole and never spit her out again.
She wipes an angry tear she didn't realise had fallen away and lifts her head up to see him standing there, with a sympathetic frown on his scarred and perfect face.
She jumps up immediately and scowls. "It's rude to eavesdrop," she whispers menacingly, afraid that he's heard her pain too. She doesn't want pity, she just wants someone to hate. Someone to blame and curse and hit and hurt because she's afraid. She's so afraid she thinks the world is going to crumble in Aang's hands and he won't be able to do a thing to stop it.
He scoffs and looks her sharply in the eyes and she thinks he's the Prince who was after them again. She feels a little proud because she thinks he's the enemy again.
But his eyes soften slightly and he licks his lips. "Yeah, it is."
She frowns and he shakes his head. "What's that supposed to mean?" She knows exactly what he means but the words pull out her lips like rope.
His face is impassive, his golden eyes still and she glances down slightly. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' She wonders but when she brings her gaze up again, it's so easy to see why she should hate him. His scar shines brightly to her and her thoughts flicker to the scar on Aang's back and she grimaces.
There's a sadness in his eyes that she doesn't understand. He curls and then uncurls his fingers and lets out a heavy sigh. "Nothing. It doesn't mean anything..."
She thinks she's supposed to feel triumphant now, that there's supposed to be a feeling of victory but there isn't. There's... 'nothing...'
He walks past her and she frowns when as she watches him go. His shoulders are slumped slightly and he scratches the back of his head and he disappears around the corner.
Toph patters in towards her from where he just disppeared and gestures towards him. "What's up with Sparky?" Toph asks, her eyes narrowing.
She sighs and shrugs. "I really don't care..."
They both know she's lying but neither of them say a word, choosing to speak to the silent darkness instead.
- khushiyan