"Crimson Eyes"
"You are the same as I am."
The words were spoken in a soothing, gentle voice from a young boy, seemingly the age of 14. He was thin, and might be considered lanky. But the most striking details were the features of his face. Despite the oddities, he could be viewed as quite handsome. His skin was pale, though not so much as the one he spoke to. Thick, misty gray hair covered his head, coming down to the middle of his neck, with messed bangs falling in his face. And his eyes...crimson pools of blood.
Ayanami Rei was the one he spoke to. The First Child. Designated pilot of Evangelion Unit-00.
The girl seemingly ignored him as she passed him after stepping off the escalator. She was she.
+++
Rei sat.
Rei stood.
Rei sat.
The girl felt something akin to confusion. She had never seen this place before, yet she felt she had. She remembered her words to the male pilot. Ikari.
"I think I am the Third..."
Was this place something of the Second? Something the ones before her knew?
Her eyes traveled across the room. It was dark, dusty, and, to anyone else, miserable. She did not mind, though. She knew nothing of true brightness. Not enough to save this room.
Her eyes traveled to the small dresser by the window. The dim sun that managed to break through the curtains glinted off a glass surface.
Rei stood, approaching the dresser. Her long, slender fingers reached down slowly, hesitating a moment, before taking the object.
Glasses.
Touching the smooth surface, she felt a wave of emotions cover her mind. Before she realized what she did, her fingers were becoming dangerously tight around the orange colored frames. She quickly tried to subdue the thoughts and feelings, and loosened her tight grasp. For a moment she simply stood, glasses in hand. And then, she saw water staining the glass surface.
Not water.
"Tears...why am I crying?" Her voice was soft, as always. Soft...yet with some hint of helplessness that she did not even sense in herself.
She stared at the glasses, as if searching for an answer in their reflective surface. And she only saw her. Herself.
"How am I like him?"
Crimson eyes.
"He..."
A kind smile.
"He is one..."
Soft words.
"One of them..."
Ode to Joy.
"I...I know him..."
His hidden palms. His hidden soul.
"He cannot hide his soul from me..."
His hidden existance.
"He cannot hide his soul from ME..."
Crimson eyes.
"How am I the same?"
Crimson eyes.
"Am I...as he is?"
A warm, loving smile.
"I am me...I am simply me..."
+++
"Are you one of them?"
Kaoru turned slowly, a gently welcoming look on his face. "One of them?"
Rei's face was enigmatic, as always, as she stood, stiffly straight.
"Are you one of them?"
Nagisa Kaoru smiled softly, his hands in his pockets. "You would ask such a question?" he asked of her, curiosity in his deep eyes.
"You avoid the question," Rei replied, her voice barely above a whisper. It was unlike her to be so bold in her words, so...agressive, even though no hint of the emotion was in her voice.
"I believe you know the answer, Rei." His face still smiled, but nothing more so than his beautiful eyes. Wonderful eyes.
"Then why can I not defy you, if you are the enemy?" Her eyes flickered for a moment, narrowing, then widening in some hint of desperation. "Why?"
"It is destined, Rei. Destined that you cannot defy me." Kaoru's own eyes turned melancholy. "I could never stand you see you such," he whispered softly.
The emotions built. Rei's eyes seemed to become filled with the uncontrollable feelings. "I...don't understand. I never knew you before. You are the Fifth Child, Nagisa Kaoru. Designated pilot of Unit-02. Replacement of the Second Child...I have never been aquainted with you. My destiny is not your knowledge."
"But it is, Rei-chan..." The voice still soft, and soothing. "We were always destined. I, as a child of Adam. You, of Lillith. Their love was split, and it created the First Impact. But we are the children."
A pause.
"We were always destined."
A glimmer.
"You are the hope of the world. The hope to fall away from painful loneliness."
A promise.
"I am the love that follows."
+++
"Anata wa dare desu ka?"
+++
"Lady..."
A voice. Deep. Strong.
"Lady, my time is soon coming short. I am in the hands of the Lilims, as you are. But you...you are the one that will set them free."
Laughter. Female, but not so high pitched. And without humor.
"How egotistical," the laughing voice spoke. "That they should imprison me, take my blood to feed them, only for me to be the one to save their souls. How utterly egotistical."
"But you will still be the one."
"Yes, that was always known, Adam. Always. And always known that my child must join me before I will."
"The children have met once more." It wasn't a question.
"...Yes."
"You planned it?"
Laughter once more. "You know as well as I do that this is far above our insight. We don't know, much less plan."
"I suppose."
"The children have met, yes. You were correct there. And their love will be what joins us once more."
"Our love was what once caused mankind's fall."
"You mean my sin." Now the voice was sharp, like a blade, and filled with venom. "You know I caused it. And then, exiled forever from the Heavenly Gates."
"Perhaps, for this, you might be forgiven..."
"Never."
"Love..."
"They will never forgive me. No matter what I do. How many souls I save. I was the cause of their downfall first. The Children are the only ones who might fight for those Gates, now."
"The Third..."
"Yes. Ours can never return, you know that. Never our Children. No matter how brightly they might shine. But him...he might. But never Tabris."
"Tabris' nature condemns THAT fate."
"True."
"But you know..."
"Yes."
"Lillith...love..."
"I know."
"We can never join once more."
And then his presence left, and she gave her same, humorless laugh. "Of course I know. What has haunted me so long, and will through all eternity, but the fact that I could never love another?"
+++
/~Flashback~/
"Tabris!"
The sweet presence of his only love was weeping over him, shaking her head wildly.
"They're going to seperate them..." Her words were choked by sobs, and she didn't seem to be able to hardly control her voice.
He could only sit, and stroke her hair gently, as he spoke in his soft, soothing voice. "Who, josei?"
"They have declared it...the Messengers..."
"They should know what it would do, Lauries."
"They DO! It could KILL man...and still they say they will seperate them...you know what this means?"
The fair Angel could only shut his eyes, holding his love. He knew exactly what it meant. "I know, josei...I know...but there will come a day when we shall meet again. Your destiny will bring you to Earth, I know. Lillith is to be captured. It is written. The day of your Mother's sin. You knew the day would come. And you will have to go to Earth, to return."
"Tabris...! You know--"
"I WILL come for you."
Her crimson eyes, so like his, were wide, and sparkling with tears.
"I swear it."
/~Flashback~/
+++
"Ayanami!"
The Third Child. Rei turned her head slowly, looking to Shinji with her own crimson eyes. She was carrying her school case in her two hands in front of her, and she waited patiently for his next words.
Shinji seemed insecure, but almost in a normally nervous way. He scratched the back of his neck, bumbling in his words. "Ayanami...eh...what...what do you think of...Kaoru?"
"He is the Fifth Child. Not one I would have a person opinion on out of regulation."
"But...don't you think about him at all?"
"No."
"But...he acts so nice around others. Doesn't that affect you at all? Your opinion?"
"No."
"He...he said he loved me..."
"You do not understand his words."
"...No...Do you?"
"He does love you. As one would describe God's love."
"...!"
"In every sense of unconditional love."
"He sounded...so...angelic..."
Rei took the moment to turn, and continue walking. "I am not surprised," she said softly.
+++
"Kaoru!"
The Third Child. Kaoru turned his head painfully, in the direction he knew Unit-01 would follow him fromt. "You're late, Shinji..." he whispered softly, his voice unlike itself. This time, it was not gentle. This time, it was full of pain.
"You betrayed me! You betrayed the trust I placed in you! You betrayed me, just like my father!"
Pain. This was what real pain was, wasn't it? Those could be the only thoughts in his mind. This...was real pain. He had betrayed Shinji. He had told him he loved him, and then he had betrayed him. Loved him as his father never did. The love he deserved, as anyone else. Simple, unconditional love.
But this form, that hung crucified, thick orange blood always flowing, slowly. Down the cross. This form...
"This is not Adam...this..." Kaoru's words were whispered in his confusion. But then his beautiful eyes widened.
"Lillith! It's you, Lillith...now I understand. I thought I might have had longer...longer in this place, longer with her...but no...I must die now, musn't I? As was written...I am to die, to live forever."
He thought, for a moment, he felt a fleeting presence...one he remembered, but now filled with sorrow. But then it was gone.
"I will tell him, Lillith, if ever I to return."
"Kaoru..." This time, a different voice. A soft voice, feminine, one he could never forget. The one that belonged to his other.
"Rei-chan...
"Forgive me...for I must die, that they might live. And you must live again, within her, that they might achieve their life of joy, and the loss of loneliness and seperation. You must live again. Truly live once more. My destiny is apart from yours, Rei-chan...
"I truly do not wish to put him to such pain...the pain he will find when he kills me. But it must be done. To save these people."
A twist in her features, and it was the last emotion she showed.
"I will protect him, Tabris."
A slight smile formed across Kaoru. "Anata wa watashi ai..."
"...Hai..."
Notes: I don't think I've EVER worked so hard revising, rewriting, and adding on to a fic. I certainly did put a lot of Japanese vocab in there...the first, 'Anata wa dare desu ka?' means 'Who are you?'. Secondly, when Tabris speaks to Lauries, he calls her 'josei' many times. Josei, by raw translation, means 'Lady', in a formal way. Kaoru's last words, 'Anata wa watashi ai', mean 'I love you.' And 'hai', as most know, is simply 'yes'. And this might perhaps be the first fic of its kind. A Kaoru-Rei pairing...but I always felt something between them. Something special. When I heard Kaoru's words to Shinji, they did not give me the impression on shonen ai (boy love). They gave me the impression of, as Rei says, God's unconditional love. The idea of Kaoru and Rei was first sprung upon me when browsing eBay. I saw an Evangelion poster, with Shinjis standing in the middle. Behind him, each facing outwards, were the nude upper bodies of Kaoru and Rei. In Kaoru's cupped hands was the Earth, and in Rei's was the Dead Moon of Lillith. Kaoru even asks, "Must all beings from Adam return to Adam?", which implies he is of Adam. And Rei's origin was implied in the EoE movie, with the words on the screen when she fused with Lillith. "Welcome home."
This may, perhaps, be one of the most ambigious pieces of work I have written. I don't recall any author giving such life to the origins of Heaven, or the Angels themselves, other than Tabris. But I do like how it turned out. It is...a good piece of writing, in my opinion.