Protection
Chapter One - Guilt
Hello all. This is my first solo SVU fic, so any reviews would be very much appreciated.
I will warn any readers now that this story involves a relationship between two women, so if that is not your thing I would advise you to click the back button before you read any further.
I have no rights to Law and Order - SVU, this is purely a fan-based story.
Thank you and enjoy!
"Liv, this isn't working," Casey sighed as she looked in the mirror in her office. She'd been over the words a thousand times, but still they were no easier to say.
"What's not working?" Olivia asked from the door, making Casey jump.
Casey shut her eyes tightly. She didn't mean for it to happen this way. Taking a deep breath, she slowly turned. "Us. We don't work, Olivia. I've tried, really I have, but every time I look at you all I can see is the guilt in your eyes even after all this time. I can't live like that for the rest of my life."
"Casey, please. Don't do this," the detective pleaded, stepping into the office to take Casey's hands in her own, which the attorney quickly retracted.
"I can't, I'm sorry. This should never have happened. We should never have happened. If anyone found out… all those cases, the victims… they wouldn't get justice."
"This is about the job now?"
"No! Yes… Maybe, a little," Casey replied with another sigh. This really wasn't how this was supposed to go.
"So it's a little about the job, but mainly about?"
"It's about… Ever since I was assaulted we've spend every spare second together. You with that guilty look, like it's all your fault because you went for coffee when it's not, and me… I just can't do it."
"That's it then, is it? I don't get a say?"
"Please, just go," the attorney pleaded as the pain evident was in her eyes, tears forming.
"Casey…" Olivia said as she reached out to stroke Casey's cheek as she quickly turned her head away.
"I said go! I… I don't love you…" There it was. She'd said it, and as much of a lie as it was, she couldn't take it back as the detective studied her face for a few minutes before leaving the room.
Casey avoided Olivia at all costs over the next few weeks, which soon turned into a month. She didn't answer any of her messages unless they were work related; even then the answers were brief.
The attorney pulled on her coat after yet another long morning in court, slowly doing up the buttons, turning when she felt someone's presence.
"Elliot… Hi. What can I do for you?" Casey asked, offering a smile.
"What's with you and Liv?"
"I'm sorry?"
"You're avoiding her. We've all noticed. So what's she done?"
"Nothing."
"Then why did you break up with her?"
"She told you about us?"
"She didn't have to. I saw the way you two were around each other."
Casey sighed. "I really don't have time for this."
"Well, make time."
"Has she put you up to this? Asked you to come here and tell me how upset she is? Beg for me to take her back?"
"No! She doesn't even know I'm here."
"Then leave. I'm not interested.
"Olivia was so good to you after your assault. She took care of you, helped you find some normality again. I don't understand."
"Yes, and I'm grateful to her for that, but this really is none of your business, Elliot."
"You don't have to try and work with her everyday. Liv is like family to me."
Casey gave a heavy sigh. "It's the guilt, Elliot. In her eyes. In my heart. For making her feel guilty when she did nothing wrong. I just couldn't stand it anymore."
"It's been months since then. So, what, you threw away a relationship with the one person who loves you more than anything?"
"I have to protect her."
"From what?!" Elliot shouted, causing Casey to jump.
"From myself."
"I don't understand what you mean."
"I don't want to be the one to break her heart."
"But you already have."
"I… I really have to go," Casey whispered, quickly fleeing her office leaving Elliot stood there.
"Liv, about Casey…" Elliot said later that afternoon as they sat in the car on surveillance.
"I said I didn't want to talk about it Elliot. She said doesn't love me."
"But she does. I know she does."
"What are you talking about?"
"I went to see her…"
"When I asked you not to?" Olivia interrupted.
"Yes, because I hate seeing you like this. It's still there in her eyes. She loves you, and she's never stopped. I just can't figure out why she wants to push you away."
"Of course she was pushing me away. But has she realised that? Do I have a chance? Could I fight for her?"
"Yes, I think you could, partner."
A smile spread across the brunette's face.
"And there it is. That smile."
"Shut up, Elliot!"
Elliot laughed to himself. "Want me to help you figure out what she's hiding?"
"I think I could use all the help I can get," Olivia smiled.