Title: Waiting Through the Lie

Spoilers: Yes, lots of them (though mostly in passing). If you've never seen NCIS you would probably be spoiled about some character deaths. Spoilers for season 10. I wrote this as a tag to Chasing Ghosts, and didn't actually post it until now. So, it was based somewhat on spoilers for Berlin.

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS.

Tony DiNozzo stepped through his apartment door, closing it by leaning against it with a sigh. He locked the door behind him in a very un-Gibbs-like fashion, shrugged out of his suit jacket and walked into the kitchen.

She was leaving him again. Without explanation. Without goodbye. This time Berlin. He was pretending, like Gibbs and McGee, and even Vance that they believed her when she said it was a vacation, but it didn't make it easier, or true.

Somehow, she had found Bodnar. His gut told him she was working with Vance's help, and Gibbs' consent. He would not be surprised if Tim had been pulled in as well, leaving Tony out of the loop. Again. Every time he thought they were getting closer to whatever it was that they were, he'd look up and she'd be miles away again.

Tony walked into the kitchen and pulled out a dusty bottle of tequila and a glass. The bottle had been a gift from Mike Franks many years ago. It was Franks' version of a gag gift. "Figured it'd make a good paperweight, since you don't have the stomach for it", he'd said, laughing at Tony. It was true, he didn't have the stomach for it, so Tony hadn't taken it personally. It had been a little while since he had let Franks move up into the forefront of his thoughts, but the presence of the dead had been weighing on him heavily lately. Mrs. Vance, Franks, Jenny, Paula, Kate. Their voices rang in his ears so loud he had trouble collecting his thoughts, so he gathered up the bottle and glass, and made his way into his living room.

It took him a minute to register that Ziva was standing next to his couch. He was quite certain that he hadn't left her there.

"I didn't hear you knock."

"You left the door open. You shouldn't be so careless Tony."

Tony smiled a tired smile. He knew she was lying a pointless lie. It wasn't as if she hadn't picked his lock before. A pointless lie to start a pointless fight that he had no energy to engage in.

"Ziva, I don't want to fight with you tonight."

Ziva balled her fists tightly, closed her eyes, and exhaled loudly. She did this when she knew he was right, and knew she needed to get over it. Changing tactics, she walked a few steps closer to him, and whispered so close he could feel her breath on his cheek.

"What do you want to do with me tonight?"

Tony raised his eyebrows, but didn't say a word. If only this had been a different time, with different circumstances, but it wasn't. And even if it were, he knew a diversion when he saw it. Instead he turned his back on her and walked into the kitchen. He came back out with a second glass.

Ziva was sitting on the couch. Her legs tucked under her. To Tony, it looked like the fight was slowly draining away from her. That's a start, he thought. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch, and set the glass in front of Ziva on the coffee table.

"I don't drink tequila Tony."

"Neither do I Ziva", he said then poured a large shot into each glass. Ziva smiled in spite of herself, and Tony felt his chest tighten for a moment. It was so hard to make her smile these days. And even when it happened, it was more the guarded smile of a caged animal than an expression of happiness.

Tony downed his drink and waited until Ziva had finished hers before looking her in the eyes, and said, "Shouldn't you be on a plane?"

Ziva shifted her eyes to her empty glass, and nervously ran the tip of a finger around the rim. "I had some," she paused as if debating which truth to tell, "time before the flight."

Tony stretched his legs and folded his arms across his chest in response. If he was going to wait out the sideshow that was Ziva David trying to divulge personal information to him, he was going to get comfortable.

"There are things I cannot tell you."

"I know."

"I want to, but I am afraid."

"You don't need to be afraid of me."

"We have been partners for many years, yes?"

Tony nodded, unsure of where she was headed.

"Partners, and…" she paused and the indulgent smile she gave him caused his pulse to jump, "friends. I trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone. I would give my life to keep you safe. I just…I wanted you to know that before I go." Ziva avoided Tony's eyes, instead starting at her hands that had fallen uselessly into her lap.

"Why does that sound a lot like a goodbye?"

Ziva finally looked at him, tears welling in her eyes, "Tony, I can't –"

Tony cut her off, his irritation reaching full blown anger, "I know what you can't tell me, okay?" The look Ziva gave him was one of surprise, and realization. He was a damn good investigator after all. Tony took a deep breath and steeled himself for the chance he was going to take.

"But what about what you won't tell me?"

Ziva opened her mouth to protest again, but then closed it again. Tony would have found her look of confusion adorable, if he hadn't been so mad at her.

"Tony, I don't know what you mean."

Tony glared at her, "Please don't lie to me. Tell me half-truths, omit some really important information, but don't just flat out lie to me. I deserve more than that."

Ziva stared at Tony with wide eyes, which softened as she reached her hand out and placed it on Tony's cheek. Tony let out the breath he realized he'd been holding.

"You do deserve more than that, you are right. But we are not accustomed to talking about us. About the elephant in the house."

Tony thought about correcting her, but thought better of it. He was giving her no room this time to change the subject.

"Well, let's talk about that elephant then," he said.

Ziva moved even closer to him on the couch. Her hand hadn't left his cheek, and now she was running her thumb in slow circles that were making him feel slightly light-headed. He could feel the whisper of her lips on his neck as she spoke next.

"We will. I want to. When I come back. But I need to do this first."

Tony started to pull back to protest, but Ziva was already pulling him in closer and bringing her lips to his.

Tony felt his heart nearly rocket out of his chest. He would have been happy have Ziva keep kissing him for the rest of his life, but there was one more thing he had to say. Tony broke the kiss, and rested his forehead to hers. He let out a long breath before speaking again, "Let me go with you".

Ziva kept her eyes closed, and smiled a sad smile, and slowly shook her head. She rested one hand on Tony's chest while the other stroked the back of his neck.

"I need you here, Tony."

Tony opened his eyes, and pulled back slightly to get a better look at her. She was looking back at him, with a look he had been afraid, for years, to hope for.

"I need you here to come home to."

Tony's eyes sparkled with his smile, "Ziva David, are you asking me to wait for you?"

Ziva smirked, and answered by bringing her lips to his again. He could get used to that, possible suicide missions aside.

Ziva stood, pulling Tony up with her. He held onto her hand as she led them both to his front door. Ziva wrapped her arms around Tony's neck, pulling him towards her in an embrace. Tony leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Be safe, sweet cheeks". He could feel Ziva smile into his chest. She reached up to kiss softly. "To be continued, " she said, and then left.

He felt hope for the first time in years. She would come back. They would get their chance.

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