Disclaimer: Psychonauts? Mine? In my dreams only...
Author's note: First of all: I hate Valentines Day, this year more so then ever, however this little story demanded to be written down and who am I to ignore my short stories. It is not really proof-read and probably the closest thing to 'Hot off the press' kind of story I have written in some time. Still I hope you enjoy it!
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Valentines Day
It was Valentines Day and like every year on this day headquarters seemed to be crazier than usually.
The reason why Valentines Day was even worse than Christmas was, that half of the agents loved this day and arranged all kinds of stupid things to promote it, like exchanging the usual small brain on the uniforms with hearts (and this was just one of the minor things). The other half of the Psychonauts detested the day deeply and either tried to avoid it, like Agent Sasha Nein, or went head first into discussions and worse with the other agents. Not only headquarters went crazy on this day, but everyone else as well, because, like on every other holiday, the quote of psychic crimes raised enormously.
This insanity was the reason why every year Sasha Nein closed the door of his office and tried to escape the madness that was going on outside, when he wasn't out there on some psychic emergency. Which he wasn't this very year, as the usual psychic emergencies were, although manifold, so small that more inexperienced agents could handle them easily.
If Sasha Nein worked behind closed doors it usually was a sign that told everyone to leave him alone and the only person who usually ignored it, even or especially on Valentines Day, was Milla Vodello. However the Mental Minx was somewhere else in headquarters, trying to play matchmaker, like she did every year and so it came as a bit of a surprise that someone knocked on Sasha's door.
"Yes," he said, clearly irritated and normally that was enough to scare off anyone, just not this visitor.
The door opened and a small girl stepped inside. She closed it behind her and without a word went over to the chaise lounge at the right wall, sat down, opened a book about flowers and started reading. Sasha looked at her, slightly confused, but she simply ignored him. After some time in which neither said something, Sasha broke the silence.
"Is there something you want, Miss Zanotto?"
She just waved her hand dismissively and kept reading. "Just a hiding place from the insanity out there."
"And you came here, why?" he asked and Lili sighed, she looked up from her book and eyed him with a look of silent desperation dedicated at his question.
"Because this is the only place in headquarters on Valentines Day that is safe," she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which at the moment it somehow was.
"I see."
"I promise not to disturb you in whatever you are doing."
"Of course not," Sasha said drily, although he knew that she was probably the only child in the world who would keep that promise. With that everything was settled and he returned to the package he had received that morning and which contained a brand new amplifier for his braintumbler.
Carefully Sasha opened it just to find on top of the paper that secured the amplifier...a blue plastic rose with a card next to it that read 'Happy Valentines Day to our customers'. For a moment Sasha looked at it as if it would jump at him and then, as if it would bite him he removed it carefully. Now even his favourite supplier of braintumbler equipment had gotten infected with the virus that was called Valentines Day. There truly was no place in the world anymore where you could hide from it, he thought sadly.
Just as he unwrapped the amplifier someone else knocked on his door. "Sasha, are you there?" the distinctive voice of Razputin came through the still closed door.
Suddenly Lili jumped up, hid behind his desk and went invisible.
I am NOT here, ok? Her thoughts went through his mind, sharp and clear, like an order.
"Yes," Sasha said, not knowing who of the two he was answering, but still mildly irritated by Lili's sudden reaction.
The door opened again and Raz poked his head inside.
"Uhm, I just wanted to ask if you have seen Lili?"
Sasha looked down to where the right now invisible girl was hiding and felt a chill run through him as her unspoken threat was directed at him.
"No," he answered looking back at Razputin. "Not right now."
"Oh, okay." Came the somewhat disappointed reply and for a moment Sasha thought that he would leave, but Raz hesitated for another moment.
"Do you have an idea where she might be? I've already searched half of headquarters, so..."
"Maybe Agent Vodello knows where she is."
Raz beamed at him. "Thanks!" he said and with that vanished.
Another, but far smaller "Thank you." came from Lili, as she went visible again. Before she could return reading, Sasha cleared his throat.
"Care to explain what this was about?"
"Not really," Lili answered tersely.
Sasha looked down at the amplifier and decided that he probably would have to inspect it later, because right now, no matter how much he wanted to ignore this, he seemed to have more important problems at hand. Like something that looked very much like a lovers quarrel and which he had loved to stay out of, but obviously Lili had chosen his office as her hiding place and so, whether he wanted it or not, he had already been dragged into it. So he felt as to at least have the obligation to find out what all this was about.
"So you avoiding Razputin, especially today, is nothing worth an explanation."
"No."
"You know I can still call him back and ask him," Sasha said casually, putting the amplifier carefully aside.
Lili shot him a dirty look and pressed her lips together, weighing her options. "Fine, I tell you." She gave in. "Not that Raz knows what this is about, anyway."
This, Sasha thought, could be interessting after all.
Lili laid the book on his desk and then hoped onto it herself, thin legs swinging forth and back, after she sat comfortably.
"Raz thinks I secretly like Valentines Day," she began explaining.
"I thought you did, at least Agent Vodello said so."
"Great." Lili rolled her eyes. "I hope you are the only one she told." After a short pause she continued her story. "No, the real problem is that he thinks he found the perfect gift for me."
"And he didn't," Sasha guessed.
"No."
"Why don't you tell him?"
Lili looked at him with a look that would have fitted a mother who tried to explain something to her not so bright children.
"Because he is so damn happy he found it and because he put so much effort into finding the damn flower in first place and I don't want to crush him." She looked down. "And the thought itself is cute," she admitted
Now Sasha was clearly confused. "Didn't you like flowers?"
Again Lili regarded him with her best exasperated-mother-look.
"Living flowers, flowers with roots. Not the cut of dying kind. The flowers I can feel slowly and painfully dying," she said, pronouncing the word dying a bit too much for Sasha's taste.
"I see," he said, although he still wasn't entirely sure what all this was about.
"You still should tell him. I am sure he will understand."
"Yeah and you tell Milla that you don't like the chocolate she gives you every year," Lili replied tartly and Sasha stiffened.
"This is different."
"How so?"
He suddenly had the feeling that the talk headed towards a directions he never wanted it to go and so he answered in the only way that made somehow sense and would end their conversation.
"She is a woman."
For a moment there was silence and Lili blinked at him surprised, then she started to laugh hard. So hard that she almost fell from his desk and knocked away some of the papers that were lying around. Papers that were hiding a small card.
"Miss Zanotto, please," he admonished and picked up the papers that had fallen down, trying at the same time to hide the card.
Lili calmed herself down, but was still giggling and to Sasha's horror caught sight of the ominous card.
"What's this?" she asked, taking the small Valentines Card into her hands.
"Nothing."
"Really?" She looked at him inquisitively and then averted her attention back to the object in her hands. "Than you don't mind if I read it." And all Sasha could do was to stare at her, eyes widening behind his sunglasses, as she opened it and begann to read.
"Dear Milla,..."
"Miss Zanotto..." he snatched the card from her hands, clearly embarrassed and she smiled at him smugly.
"A Valentines Card for Milla? And I thought you hated Valentines Day," she stated, still trying to hold back her gleeful laughter.
"I do. But as you said Agent Vodello gives me chocolate every year on this day." Even with his sunglasses on, he tried to avoid to look at Lili and instead pretended to study the decorative ornament on the opposite wall. "I thought it would be adequate to give her something in return, to thank her."
"Of course," Lili said with false honesty. And then, after a short pause, she obviously decided to torture Sasha a bit more.
"Did you made the card yourself? It certainly looks like it," she pointed out and all Sasha could do was nod.
He waited for Lili to burst out into laughter again, but instead she looked at him seriously and said: "You know you shouldn't put a single yellow carnation in the front of the card."
Sasha looked at her questioningly. "I was under the impression that Agent Vodello liked carnations."
Lili rolled her eyes and sighed. "She does. Just don't use a single yellow one. Can you print a new card?"
"Of course, but..."
"Just do it!" Lili said exasperated and Sasha turned on his PC.
"What flower should I put in front of it instead?" he asked her as he tried to find the file.
"What do you want to say with the card? I doubt you wanted to admit your undying love to her."
"No, I didn't," Sasha said stiffly.
"Would have been nice for a change, though," Lili muttered and then said louder. "So what than?"
"It was meant as a simple thank you."
"A dark pink rose it is then."
"A rose?" Sasha asked doubtfully.
"A dark pink rose," Lili corrected him.
While Sasha changed the card, Lili suddenly jumped from his desk and went to the door. She hesitated shortly as she felt Sasha's gaze on her as she opened it.
"I think I take your advice and go to talk to Raz," she explained and with that was gone.
Later that day, while he finally had found time to examine the amplifier for the brain tumbler, another knock on his still closed door interrupted Sasha Nein.
"Yes?"
The door opened and again Lili entered, this time holding a box of chocolate in her hand.
"I forgot my book." She waved over to his desk and a second later said book was floating through the air towards her.
Lili spotted the single flower in the vase that was now standing on his desk and it confirmed the suspicion she had before.
"Seems as if we weren't the only ones who talked," she said, smiling.
"Obviously not," Sasha stated, not looking up from his amplifier.
She nodded and turned around to leave again, as Sasha stopped her.
"Miss Zanotto?" An idea had struck him and he picked up the fake blue rose.
"I wanted to thank you for your advice with the card," he said and went over to her, presenting her the plastic rose.
"I figure it went well?" she said, smiling quizzically.
"Indeed."
"You helped me as well, so we are even," she said, rejecting the rose with a small gesture.
"Well, after all you didn't really need it," he insisted.
"You sent Raz to Milla in the first place and hid me."
"Still..."
Finally Lili took the blue rose and looked down at it oddly knowingly and then back at him.
"Sasha?"
"Yes, Miss Zanotto?"
She grabbed his hand and, given her age and skinny arms, pulled him down to her eye level with amazing strength. Sasha looked at her confused and then a second later he felt warm, soft lips pressed to his cheek.
"Happy Valentines Day."
END
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Author's note: I hope you liked it and as always: be aware that English is not my native language and any constructive criticism or comment is appreciated. Happy Valentines Day.