You said that we would be together forever, but I suppose it was a lie. I know that I don't have all the things that you ideally wanted. I'm not Gwen, and I know that I will never be.

I shouldn't have forced you to share things that you didn't want to. I never should have yelled at you or called you all of those names. I regret it every day. I know I can't fix those things, and I knew that you were fragile. It seemed way too selfish for me to care.

I remember the time you smiled at me after the unplanned snowball fight. Your cheeks were a rosy red, and the intensity of your teal eyes had grown. We sat by the fireplace at your house, and I swear, I can still smell the aroma of the hot chocolate around us. You were laying on me because you were tired. I remember whispering, "I love you. I always have, and I always will."

You were taken a little bit by surprise, of course, but you warmed up to the idea of that. What happened to that version of us? Did the ongoing fight erase that? Could we somehow revive them?

I didn't mean to stoop so low and hit underneath the belt. That moment… It haunts me. The pain in those same teal eyes had shown a hardening heart. I didn't know you had it in you, but I underestimated you. I always seem to. And the words you screamed as you exited the door, they give me nightmares.

We're through, Noah. I'm done. I can't take it.

At that moment, everything seemed to change. My world started to freeze. I couldn't concentrate on the current book I was reading. I couldn't bring myself to crack a joke anymore. I forgot how to live, and at this very moment, I still can't live. All I feel like doing is breathing in and breathing out. Perhaps I'd stare at a picture of you from time to time and wonder how everything went wrong. To this day, I can't read a book or socialize. I've shut down without you, my happiness.

That day, you broke me in the worst possible way. I feel numb unless I think about you. Only then, the emotions brew into a mixture of sadness, guilt, and discontent. You were the only person that I could let in, and I will ever let in.

I should accept the fact that forever has ended. We are no more… And neither am I.