Let's build an unsteady truce so that we can run away from our problems some more! You like denial, right? At least, it had seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was one thing to be in an ambulance on the way to the hospital—it was another to be in an ambulance on the way to the hospital and hear that a movie star's son was teetering on the edge of a nearby bridge. Because really, how many movie stars live in Neptune? As far as Veronica was aware: one. And yes, for a brief but interesting period of time she was dating his son—who now appeared to be considering the pros and cons of the 'do as I say, not as I do' study of parenting. If he followed his mother's example she swore that she'd kill him.
When Logan's name was actually announced over the radio Veronica burst into tears. She had finally stopped crying after the ordeal of the night but as if it wasn't bad enough to be held captive in a flaming freezer and then have to beat the flames out of your dad's shirt now her recent ex-boyfriend was tightrope walking a bridge famous for its jumpers.
It was somewhere between the comparison to his mother's death and the police report that someone was trying to coax him down that Veronica realized she wasn't angry anymore. He lied to her, yes, but she would polish up her conversational etiquette and never say another awful thing about him ever again if Logan would just not die.
Somehow she got home from the hospital and he got down from the bridge and they both got in his car and just started driving. It wasn't the most inconspicuous vehicle ever but neither of them were really trying to hide—they just needed to escape for a while.
It wasn't until they hit the outskirts of Neptune and the farewell sign that Veronica realized what they were doing and hit the brakes bringing Logan's car to a screeching halt by the roadside.
"What are we doing?"
"Well, you were driving."
"No, I mean—what are we doing?"
"Leaving?"
"It just seems so…"
"Do you want to go back?"
"No."
"Well, then you should drive."
After a moment's hesitation Veronica put her foot on the gas and they were back on the road with no set direction.
"You got somewhere in mind?"
Logan shrugged. "You?"
"Not really."
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see where we end up."
"I guess."
They had been sharing the same space for nearly two hours before he inquired about her wellbeing.
"How's your face?"
"Painkillers," she offered. "Can't feel it. How's it look?"
"Pretty bad."
"Oh, thanks. Just what a girl needs to hear."
He scoffed, "Like you have anything to worry about. It'll heal and you'll be brand spanking perky and new."
Veronica ignored the spanking comment since he hadn't elaborated on it and took in Logan's quickly bruising skin. "Looks like you took a few shots yourself."
"Weevil really loved Lilly," he clarified.
"If only he knew," she sighed softly.
"He does now. He was there when they talked me down."
"Why were you up there?"
"I don't know. Attention? Wallowing? I'd just got dumped pretty brutally—what'd you expect?"
"Most people don't take a stroll along a bridge when they break up."
"Most people don't accuse their boyfriends of murder. I guess we're just special that way."
"I can't do this tonight, Logan. My dad nearly died, I can't just banter with you like it's okay."
"You nearly died."
"Yeah—that too."
"Interesting evening."
She smiled a little wryly. "You could say that."
He blew out a painful breath. "So. Do we have a plan yet?"
"I thought the point was to be planless?"
"Veronica Mars: planless? Sounds like you could end up hurting yourself."
She rolled her eyes towards the road. "I thought it was time for a change."
"Near-death experiences, eh?"
"You have an epiphany of your own?" she teased somewhat affectionately.
"Maybe. I wasn't really near death though."
Veronica's frown sharpened slightly. "Logan you were a light breeze away from a long swim."
"I was fine."
"Then why wouldn't you come down when the Sheriff got there?"
"Didn't feel like it."
"Well that's great, Logan. It was really nice to hear about it on the radio right after your dad tried to beat mine into a pulp."
"Don't start, Veronica."
"I thought you were going to die."
"I know."
"Aren't you even sorry?"
"Why? I wasn't going to jump."
Veronica's jaw tightened as she tried to reign in the pressure along her throat, stretching up behind her eyes. Hot tears pricked at their edges that she refused to acknowledge and brush away. Logan was trying to keep his gaze anywhere except on Veronica—it wasn't until he heard her breath hitch that he looked over. Her cheeks were wet, teeth clenched and eyes red.
"Veronica…"
She grimaced; frustrated that she wasn't able to keep her emotions in check. "I can't talk to you right now, Logan."
"Veronica, you have to stop crying."
She shot him a look of utter disbelief.
His voice was softer but he was still doing a pretty awful job at trying to comfort her. "You can't see the road if you're crying. I'm drunk. You have to stop crying—I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry."
"You're not."
"I am." Logan's hand touched her arm and Veronica swallowed hard as her gaze flitted to him and then back to the road. She pulled over letting her head rest on the steering wheel as Logan watched her helplessly. Hesitantly he moved his hand to run soothingly across her back, but without looking up Veronica batted his arm away carelessly—again when he moved his hand straight back. The third time he struggled around her arm Veronica shot up catching his hand.
"Don't!"
"You're crying—"
Veronica's voice was low when she replied, "Because of you, so yeah." She dropped his hand, making her point.
"I'm sorry."
"It doesn't count if you don't mean it."
"I do. I don't know how I'm supposed to show you—I was stupid, but you lied to me too!"
"I had reasons, Logan. You lied about your alibi; there were cameras in your pool house! Why would you lie if you were innocent?"
"Because I didn't do it! My girlfriend died, Veronica and I was scared. Okay? And it was stupid but I think I've learned my lesson!"
"I didn't know that," she tried not to sob.
"Then you should have talked to me."
"You would have lied again."
"Because you don't trust me? So, yeah you lied too, again."
"I didn't lie, I just didn't—look, can we just not?"
"Whatever." He looked away quickly, fixing his gaze on the lightening black outside.
Veronica turned back to the road, taking a deep breath as she wiped her eyes roughly with the back of her hand. She pulled the car away from the side of the road for the second time that night and to Logan's surprise continued to head in the direction they had been taking.
"I thought you'd go home."
"Do you want to?"
"Not really."
"Me either."
There was silence. Eventually Veronica broke through the quiet.
"I'm sorry. For the crack about your dad," she clarified. "It had nothing to do with you."
Logan didn't look at her. "'S'ok."
Veronica nodded quietly to herself, keeping her eyes trained firmly on the road. The denial had slipped for a minute or two there but she was pretty sure she could get it right back on track with just a little bit of silence. At least if they weren't saying anything then she could pretend that it was comfortable—Veronica wondered if that's what Logan was doing as he started to relax into his seat.
She watched him from the corner of her eye as the drove down the uneventful road. It had been chosen back in Neptune solely for the fact that it didn't seem to have an end that they could see. Veronica hadn't looked at Logan—really looked—since he turned up on her doorstep with his car keys and a bottle of something.
"Don't leave me," his voice cracked.
"Logan, how did you get here?" she asked softly.
She looked behind him to see his car parked haphazardly across the parking lot of her apartment complex—it was taking up three spaces because of the diagonal angle. The bottle in his hand was mostly empty.
He waved his car keys in front of her. "I still have a license."
"You smell like a liquor store! Do you want to die?" she exclaimed.
Logan's voice was emotionless when he replied flatly, "Yeah."
She sucked in a tight breath and grabbed his hand, pulling the car keys out of his palm. When she turned to go back into her apartment Logan panicked.
"No, wait, Veronica I'm sorry. I don't. I—don't leave me. Veronica, please. Please." His breathing was heavy and Veronica swallowed as she turned to face him.
"Two minutes, I'll be back."
He nodded numbly and sank down against the outside wall of her apartment, his knees giving way much too easily as he wobbled to sit.
"Why did you come to my apartment tonight?"
Logan looked up, flustered. There had been absolute quite in the car for almost a straight ten minutes and her question was a little embarrassing the more he began to sober. He quickly regained his poker façade.
"No where else to go." He shrugged.
Veronica bit the inside of her lip; it wasn't nice to hear that someone you cared about had nowhere to go for comfort. She broke up with him, and hours later he was looking to her to clean up the mess because nobody else would. Being needed wasn't really as much fun as people made it out to be. It wasn't romantic at all.
"We broke up."
"Yeah… thanks for the reminder. It was fun the first time, but it's always great to hear about it."
"People talk?"
"When you take a trip along the guardrail they generally want to know why."
Veronica was holding her breath, her chest in tight and lip almost splitting between her teeth. "Please tell me you weren't up there because of me."
Logan opened his mouth but found himself cut off as she continued.
"It's not worth it."
"You broke up with me less than eight hours ago and I'm probably about to cross county lines with you. I just begged you to take me back." He was staring out of the window hard; making sure Veronica couldn't see his face.
"I…" She frowned trying to regain the ability to form sentences like a functional human being. "I thought you meant outside."
"Huh?"
"You asked me not to leave you. I thought you meant leave you outside."
His voice was thick as he tried not to laugh; the sound was rough and weighted. "I meant in general."
She swallowed, hard. The silence began to settle again but this time there was no way she could pretend that it was comfortable. Logan was tense again, all the lines in his body held tight. There was dirt on his jeans and he still reeked of liquor—she started to wonder if it had been spilled on his pants too because Logan was beginning to look dangerously like he was sobering up.
"I like you much better when we're not fighting," she admitted finally.
Logan quirked his lips in a blatant show of self-loathing, "So, pretty much when we're making out then."
"I was going to be your girlfriend, Logan," she argued.
"You were my girlfriend—for all of the three seconds before you ran out on me."
"No, I mean I was going to be your girlfriend. Go on dates, buy stupid teddy bears, eat lunch with you, talk. It's not just about making out."
"Sounds nice on paper, shame about those trust issues."
Her eyes were trained—focused sharply—ahead of her, the headlights giving Logan only a study in her profile.
"You were the first person I ever told about my… about what happened," she swallowed refusing to look at him, "except for the wonderfully ethical Sheriff Lamb who didn't believe me."
"Your dad doesn't know." It was a statement rather than a question.
The hitch in Veronica's breathing showed as she laughed, high and incredulous—letting her gaze jet to Logan's face and back again. "You think I'd be allowed out of the house if he did?"
"I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault."
"I was the one that suggested the trip to TJ. If I hadn't…"
"Yeah, and someone had to make the drugs and the Coke and the plastic cups. It's not their fault either." Her eyes were glistening now in the artificial light but Veronica refused to cry.
Logan let the matter drop, searching desperately for something to say that wasn't going to ruin the shaky truce they had constructed between them. "Want me to drive?"
"You're drunk."
"I could probably drive now."
"It's cool. I'm fine."
"We should stop somewhere."
"Stopping's against the rules."
"Well some of us are going to be hung-over soon and need sleep."
"You should have thought of that before you decided to investigate the bottom of a bottle from the wrong side."
"Or two."
She sighed. "If we stop they'll find us."
"Who's 'they', Veronica? Your dad's in the hospital, who could possibly be looking for us?"
"The press."
"Will be too busy with my dad."
"You're part of it, Logan—"
He opened his mouth to protest.
"—you didn't do it, but he's your dad. People will want to know what you think. Where you're going to live—"
"Don't."
"Don't, what?"
"Don't talk about it. I'll deal when we go home… just, not now."
It was somewhere between the stoplights disappearing and the road starting to look like it was crumbling that Veronica thought maybe they'd gone too far. Or at least that maybe Logan was right, maybe they should stop somewhere—just as long as they didn't stop long enough to actually be rational about the situation. She screeched to a halt for the third time.
"Whoa."
"It's morning, we should go home."
"I can't Veronica."
"Yes you can. We can't just disappear—I need to see my dad."
"They're not going to let you in at six a.m."
"It won't be six by the time we get back."
He sighed, a strangled sound. "Just drop me somewhere."
"What?"
"I'm serious, Veronica. I can't go back right now."
"Logan, you don't have anything with you, I can't just leave you somewhere."
"I have my wallet and my cell, thanks. I'll be fine."
"You won't."
"I will."
"I'm not leaving you somewhere, Logan. Get over it."
"Come with me then."
"What?"
"I don't know, don't you want to buy into the teen clichés? Just get out of here?"
"We can't runaway… my dad—reality."
"Pretty sure there was a rule against reality."
"That was last night."
"Technically it was already morning when we left."
"You're so much easier to handle when your drunk, who'd have thought."
"Well, you're a lot more fun."
"You expect me to just pick up and leave with my—" she broke off.
Logan squinted. "With your what? What are we?"
"We're not a 'we'."
He drew in a quick breath. "Great. Just, the next sign of civilization drop me off. For real, Veronica, I don't care anymore."
"Logan, I'm sorr—"
"I get it, okay."
"Don't be like this."
"Like what, Veronica? Things aren't exactly going that well for me—I think I'm allowed to be pissed off."
"I'm taking you home."
"No, you're not."
"What are you gonna do, Logan? Jump out the car?"
"If I have to."
"Stop being such a martyr. It sucks and yes I didn't trust you and that sucks but you can't just hide."
"Not what you said last night."
"Oh, mature. Well I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind last night. Blame the painkillers."
"You're such a hypocrite. I can't drive 'cause I'm drunk but you're allowed to take the car out while you're hopped up."
"I wasn't 'hopped up', not all of us are into rec drugs."
He exhaled loudly. "Right."
"I didn't mean—Why are we even fighting? What's the point?"
"I'm not going to get all deep and meaningful with you, Veronica."
"Okay. What about we just stop taking cheap shots?"
"Works for me."
Veronica paused, considering her words carefully. "I don't want this to end up like last year."
"We've already covered that I don't hate you."
"We need to go home, Logan. I don't even know where we are."
"Yeah," he accepted reluctantly.
Logan was quiet as Veronica turned the car around and started to head back in the direction of Neptune. The attention he would no doubt receive would only be worse if they saw who he had spent the night with, he wasn't looking forward to it. Veronica was embroiled in his father's case and being seen with her would give the public the very solid idea that he thought his father had done it. When really? Logan was past the point of caring enough to process it all. It was too much and now that there was video evidence that his girlfriend had cheated on him Logan was less inclined to sympathize with her—especially considering who she picked to screw him over with. That was enough for him to hate Lilly and his dad.
No, Logan was finding it easier to hold onto the much more normal teenage practice of feeling sorry for himself because he got dumped and his ex-girlfriend was driving his sorry vaguely-drunken ass home because she wanted to be friends.
It should have been easier to face but—everything combined—it was more than a little overwhelming.
"Nine months," he breathed.
"Sorry?"
"Nine months and I'm free of all this shit."
"Two for me."
He looked up, a small smile coloring his lips. "Old."
"Hey, Duncan's older than me. It's not my fault you're the baby."
"Hey!" he huffed. "At least I'm not a cradle robber."
"No you just go for older women."
"Experience," he agreed.
Her lips twisted a little as she admitted, "Missed the mark with me, I guess."
"Well, you weren't really about a quick lay," he admitted back.
Their bantering was tapering off as Veronica pursed her lips together, unwilling to glance over and see if Logan was watching her. "Because as a teenage boy you're so noble," she let the sarcasm slip into her voice.
"You always think the worst, y'know."
"It's a nasty habit, but defensive just looks good on me."
"If you say so," he dismissed with a quick rise of his eyebrows.
Logan fell asleep as they continued the long drive home, his head resting uncomfortably against the bottom of the window. Veronica kept her eyes pried open, completely sure that she was going to join him in unconsciousness and probably have an ironically flat end to her life when she crashed into a street light or mail box. Okay, so maybe the mail box wouldn't wipe her out—but it would no doubt be something horribly domestic that would get her in the end. And this was a really morbid line of thought, she considered what Logan had said about thinking the worst—and sure, it was true but in the most part Veronica found she was right. Just because Logan had proved her wrong with the rape and the cameras and the murder didn't mean something else wasn't going to rear its ugly head.
It wasn't until the sun was streaming brightly in through the windscreen and they passed by the brand new "Welcome to Neptune" sign that Veronica thought to wake up Logan. She reached a hand out, shaking his shoulder gentle as she kept her eyes on the road.
"Logan."
He stirred slightly, mumbling something she couldn't hear.
"Logan, we're almost there."
"Huh?" he murmured.
"We're in Neptune."
He opened his eyes carefully, registering the bright light and their current location. "Fuck," he drawled slowly.
Veronica patted the arm she had been shaking softly. "It'll be fine."
"You suck at lying, how do you even do undercover?"
"You've seen me undercover."
"You were pretending to be my fiancée, how hard can it be?"
"It would have been easier if you hadn't stared with your mouth hanging open the whole time, I think that guy seriously thought there was something wrong with you."
"You kissed me, it was surprising."
"It was a peck on the cheek, that doesn't even count. Plus, I was in character."
"You called me 'honey'."
"Oh, yeah—don't get used to that. Valley persona only."
He closed his eyes, letting himself fall back into the seat. "Hey, where are we now?"
"Almost at my apartment," she replied. "I need to get my dad's car so I can go to the hospital."
"Just go straight there; I can wait with you till you're done."
"Logan, you need to go home and change. And shower. You look like you just got run over."
"Thanks."
"Don't sulk, it's true. Did you even go to the hospital last night?"
"Nah, they cleaned me up by the road. Someone called an ambulance when the Sheriff got there. Weevil's heart obviously wasn't in it—didn't even crack a rib. I should probably be offended."
Veronica rolled her eyes as she pulled into her parking lot; bring the car to a halt by the stairs to her apartment. She let out a long breath, mimicking Logan as she fell back in her seat.
"Tada," she smiled sleepily.
"Just like we left it," he observed.
"So…"
Logan turned to her. "So, what do you think?"
"About?"
"Us," he tried to keep his voice straight.
Veronica tensed, trying to consider through the thick, numbing feeling of doubt and sleep-deprivation. "I think we should take some time off. "Damage control," she clarified.
He nodded in acceptance, not quite meeting her gaze.
"But… I could call you sometime?"
"That'd be cool."
Veronica tried to hide the smile that was creeping up her lips as she climbed out of the car, padding softly towards her dad's car which had been brought back to the apartment by the Sheriff's department when they took her home. Slipping into the driver's seat she couldn't help but shake her head in disbelief, trying to knock the smile off her lips.
It was funny how running away was supposed to be all about avoidance. She and Logan obviously had a lot to learn before they tried it again.