waiting is wasting, for people like me
Summary: He was an atheist, she believed in God with all her heart. The one time he prays, he prays for her. Austin&Ally. Auslly. AU.
Prompt: I've noticed this. I mean, I know a lot of people who don't believe in God. And I noticed that most of them are the people with the hardest lives. And I think to myself if they only don't believe in God because of how fucked up their lives are, or if it's because they just truly don't believe in God. I have a friend though, he lives a pretty good life, and he's an atheist. He read the entire bible before becoming one and he says he's a realist and I get that some people legitimately just don't believe in one man controlling it all. I get that. But I wonder if the others who claim to be atheists also understand or get this. Now I'm just spouting nonsense I'm sorry.
A/N: Idk about this title, or if it relates to the fanfiction at all. But I thought it did. It's from the OP song from Naruto called Wind and I absolutely love that song. Don't worry, it's in English. And it's very heartfelt so you should listen to it sometime if you have time.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer is applied.
He stands before a grave, flower in hand and a soft smile on his face. There's the breezy wind, silently blowing pass him, dancing around his ankles, taking with it the red and yellow fallen autumn leaves. He kneels down for a second, places the flower before the grave, and bows his head. Behind him, there was a call of his name, along with the crunching sound of footsteps against the wet and grassy ground. His smile grows, yet he doesn't turn around. Instead, he flashes back to the night that started this all.
xoxo
He's lost, alone in a world he's never seen before. There were people he never knew existed, and places he never thought he'd be at. He faces tall skyscrapers and bright neon lights, and the air around him is warm and moist. Everything around him right now is so different from the atmosphere he was once so used to.
Strangers, they pass him by, not minding, not caring. There are girls at the corner of the street, fixing their dresses, and flaunting expensive shoes and bags. The men smoked outside shops with pretty displays and stainless windows. The city life was loud, bustling with people he'll only ever meet once.
He walks the lonely and dark road – even though colorful city lights shined down on him. And he has his hands in his pocket, with his clothes dirty and torn. He doesn't listen to the voices inside his head, only the silence the night could offer. And even though there were still traces of the loud calls of traffic, and people talking it all up, he blocks it all out.
But he doesn't pay attention to where he was going. He didn't care to see what lay before him, and the people he might bump into. And that's what made him so lucky – lucky enough to bump into her.
Her face collides with his stone-hard chest and she falls to the ground, along with her bag that spilled all her belongings, and an old tattered book covered in leather. He's startled but bends down in instinct to help her up. They didn't officially meet until his eyes saw hers.
He's picking up all her things when he accidentally comes to face those brown coffee eyes of hers. The color so alluring, and the story behind such a mystery. She was shy, he could already tell, because a second later she's looking down, trying to gather all her things into her bag, making sure her hair curtains over her probably blushing face.
He picks up the old leather book and turns it's cover. Only then did he realize what it was, before he scowled and roughly threw it her way. She shrieked and clumsily tried to catch it – which she thankfully successfully did.
"You can't just throw around the Lord's book like that!" She scolds at him, hugging tight against her chest the sacred book. He only scoffs.
The air grew thick with silence, and she's glaring at him whilst he's looking away somewhere else, deeply lost in his vacant thoughts. Her eyes begin to soften as she finally sees him – finally really see him. His worn out clothes, his dirt-covered face, and his shoe-less and scraped feet.
"Are you okay?" She gently asks him, touching his exposed arm with her frail small hand.
"No." He doesn't bother to lie, nor does he bother to look.
"Do you need help?" She comes closer, her grip on his arm a little tighter than before. And this time, he wills himself to face her.
"Yeah." He wistfully sighed, giving her a sad smile.
She pulls him in closer by his arm, using her free hand to trace over the smudges on his face. She brushes them away, along with the strays of blonde hair that left stuck to his cheeks with sweat. Carefully, she squeezes his hand tighter, and dared to look into his eyes. After that, she smiles at him, a warm and glowing smile – the one that made him fall in love.
"I'll help you."
xoxo
He's been living under her roof for three months now, and she still knows so little about him. But she doesn't push to ask, and he appreciates that very much. She doesn't force him either, to be as religious as she is. Often she takes him to church, but allows him to wait outside for her. Sometimes, he reluctantly goes in, but he doesn't pray, nor does he listen – he just sits and stares at her.
She understands he's an atheist. She knows he doesn't believe in God. She doesn't know why just yet, and she's not sure if he'll ever tell her why. But they live together and he helps her cook, and clean the house. And she knows, he's got a heart of gold.
Sometimes she hears him singing, specially when he's alone and he thinks no one – not even she – can hear him. And one time, she saw him staring longingly at an old acoustic guitar by a music shop. She thinks he wants it, and promises herself she'll save up for it.
She's poor, he knows that. And he's asked her so many times why she bothers to keep him, when she can barely feed herself. She only smiles and looks away, before grabbing a hold of his hand and squeezing it.
"You make me happy." She would say.
xoxo
It's spring again and they're leisurely swinging on the swing set in the park. The grass is evergreen, small dews hanging by their tips, and the sun is setting, wrapping them in swirls of purple, yellow and orange. He takes this chance to ask about her.
"Why do you live alone?" He quietly asks, staring down at the grassy ground. He hears her chuckle and this causes him to turn to look at her.
"My mother and father, they're gone. Long gone." She's smiling as she's looking up at the graying sky. He wonders why.
There was a short silence passing through them, and he starts wondering if that was all he's going to get out of her. But then he hears her stand up from her swing, before she plops herself down on his lap. He's surprised and frozen on the spot – but his senses were still working and his nose immediately took note of how she smelled like sweet vanilla and hints of pickles; an odd but perfect combination. This is the closest proximity they've ever been, and she leans her head onto the crook of his neck.
"I'm so happy that you're here. I never have to be alone again." She closes her eyes and he absentmindedly wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer to him. He stares at her soft features as she continues to speak. "God answered my prayers."
He doesn't try to argue with her, or try to contradict her belief – something he'd normally do. He doesn't tell her that their meeting is nothing more than just the mere doing of a coincidence, nor does he tell about the void existence of God. But he does close his eyes, and kisses her forehead.
"I know you don't believe in him – God. I'll never try to make you believe in him." She whispers as she rubs small circles onto the sensitive palm of his hand. "But just remember, if you need saving, or someone to talk to, or someone to help you and lean on to, and I'm not there, God is. He's always there."
Silence answered her but she knew what that meant. No words were needed to be said when it comes to Austin and Ally. Because they understood each other better like that.
xoxo
They've known each other for three years now, both twenty-one and still whiling away with their life. She's set up her own music store, and he plays his newly-bought guitar out on the streets. Together, with his strong confidence and amazing voice, and the lyrically perfect songs she's written, they conquered the streets of New York. Sometimes, he's even invited to play small gigs at small clubs.
They still live in that same old little apartment. But it's enough for the two of them. There's room to sleep, there's room to eat, and there's room for her piano and his guitar. Really, that's all they needed, and there was no need to ask for more. They were contented.
She prays the rosary every night, thanking God for all the blessings she's received. He reads the bible, finding more ways than one to fuel his non-belief on God. But he doesn't mind nor does he care that she's completely the opposite of him when it comes to faith. It makes him feel balanced.
She prays for him too. She prays that he's okay and happy, and she prays for his health and his safety too. She asks God to make his dreams come true, and give him the strength to overcome the troubles of his past. He thinks it's pointless. But sometimes, the placebo of God's existence works, and he feels better, stronger and happier. But honestly, he knows it's just her.
They lay in bed most nights, and they talk about everything. They still haven't ran out of things to tell each other. But it's ironic because, even up 'til now, she only knows his name and his faith, and that's the same with him.
This night they talked about something different. A subject they've never really touched on before. But tonight, they're ready.
"My dad was a musician. He dreamed of opening up his own music store one day. I...kind of want to live that dream of his for him." Ally gently whispers, pushing herself deeper into Austin's hold. "He died right after my mom did. He died of a heart attack when he found out about her death."
"Both my parents are dead too." He comments, his hand running through her soft brown hair.
"My mom was beautiful. She was a writer who knew how to string the simplest words into the most beautiful story." She's smiling as she says this, and her eyes look out the window at two brightly shining stars. "A musician and a writer make for a perfect combination, doesn't it?"
He chuckles softly and kisses the top of her head. "They made a very decent song-writing daughter, yes."
"I guess they did." She whispers, yawning a little before she closed her eyes and succumb into the spell of the much needed sleep.
Under the sheets his hand held hers tight, and their legs are tangled with each other. He's naked and so was she. But what you should really note is, that night they made love, and she let her catholic ways slip just once for him
xoxo
He finally gets a record deal and he's rushing home to tell her. He's ecstatic and running all over Manhattan just to get to their apartment. He doesn't care for his tired and burning lungs, or his short takes of breath. All he knows is, they're finally going to make it, and they're finally going to live their dream. This is something they've been waiting for all five years they've been together.
When he gets home he slams open the door and calls her name out. He knows she's got no work so he calls on when he gets no answer. He walks through their apartment, searching for her in every floor and every room. She's not there. And the only thing that answers his tenth call for her was the ringing of his phone.
He picks it up, expecting her cheerful voice to beam through the speaker. But it wasn't her. Instead, it was dreadful news that left him dropping the phone to the ground and running out to the hospital as fast as he possibly could.
When he gets there, he bangs on the nurse's counter and demands them to tell him where she is and what happened. He shouts at them and screams if she's okay. He trashes the entire place, ripping up important files and tossing everything he laid his hands on. It took three men and a tranquilizer to finally calm him down.
When he wakes up, he immediately goes to the nearest chapel he could find. It was raining that one day and he barged in through the chapel doors, soaking wet with rain and tears. His face was angry and the bags under his eyes were noticeable. Old people who came to pray stared at him and whispered, but he doesn't give one flying fuck.
He marches towards the altar and points at the statue of Jesus. And then, he screams and lets it all out.
"YOU TRAITOR!" His hand is tightly balled into a fist and his glare burns through the statute's eyes. "SHE BELIEVED IN YOU. SHE STOOD BY YOU ALL THIS TIME AND HAD SO MUCH FUCKING FAITH IN YOU. SHE GAVE YOU EVERYTHING. AND SHE WOULD'VE DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU. SHE WAS DAMN FUCKING PERFECT TO YOU AND SHE DID EVERYTHING SHE COULD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. SHE DID WHAT SHE KNEW AND THOUGHT WAS RIGHT BECAUSE SHE LOVED YOU. AND THIS? THIS IS HOW YOU BLOODY FUCKING REPAY HER? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"
He's breathing hard and the nuns and the priests we're behind him, scolding him, and trying to take him away. But he stands firm on his ground and continues to spit accuses of betrayal towards the statue. He's fighting away the priest's hold and there were people calling the police. But he doesn't care.
It all ends when he finally breaks down and cries. And he lets go of all the anger and just let the sadness take over. And he speaks to the statue again.
"You need to fix her. She needs you. You need to make her okay. I know I haven't been the best person to you and I probably still am not. I still don't think you exist but if you do please save her. Please let her be okay. If you can't do this in favor of me, do this in favor of her. In favor of the girl who's been there for you, praying, reading your book, going to mass and thanking you every minute of the day for everything you've supposedly given her. You need to make her come back, the world needs someone as brilliant as Ally Dawson." He's crying as speaks and people surrounded him with their pitiful looks and disgusted faces. Some had sympathy, others were rolling their eyes. But he, despite all that continued on. "I need Ally Dawson."
xoxo
He touches the carved writing on the grave, smile still on his face. The petals of the flowers he's brought are all being blown away, and the candle he lit up just a few seconds ago is fighting hard against the blowing wind. And suddenly, he feels a feather-light hand gently squeeze his shoulder.
"Austin." The person breathes out and he turns to look at them to see those ever so familiar eyes, with that warm and gentle smile that melts his heart every time.
"Alls." He says softly as he stood up. She launches herself at him.
"Hey." She happily sighs into his chest.
They stand there in each other's tight embrace for a while, before he finally lets go and pulls away. He then grabs her hand and turns the both of them to face the grave. They both kneel down as Ally lightly straightened her white skirt.
"Hey mom." Austin speaks, his voice cracking as Ally held tight his hand. "This beautiful girl here beside me, this is Ally. And I love her. I've asked her to marry me, you know. You always thought I'd always be a playboy and never settle down. Well, here's a surprise for you."
"Mrs. Moon…" Ally trails off after Austin, gently fingering the rough edges of the grave before them. "I promise to take care of Austin. I'll make him the happiest boy – man – ever. I swear I'll give him everything he needs, and love him with my all, forever. I'll appreciate him and his presence and give him more than he deserves, more than he needs. I hope, I have your blessing to marry him."
A soft wind blew pass them, and the candle's small flame flickered dead. And somehow, it seemed to Austin and Ally, that they have both been given her blessing. And God's blessing.
She leans her head onto his shoulder, and she closes her eyes, savoring this very moment. Around her she can smell the musty air, and feel the damp grass against her legs. But all that mattered is, she's here, happy with him.
"Thank you, Austin, for praying for me."
A/N: I know there's so many things left unsaid here. Like, what really did happen to Austin at the start and what happened to his parents or why he's an atheist or how Ally ended up in the hospital. I'll leave all that to your imagination. The ending's rushed, I admit but it's 7am and I need sleep. And also, I noticed I used "she and he" a lot instead of their actual names and you don't really see it confirmed as it's Austin and Ally until halfway through the fanfiction. But hopefully you still got it. Oh, and I also noticed while I was writing it that the scene where Austin asks God to save Ally is similar to a scene in SIU where Cece asked the "Big Guy" to help Rocky out. Idk, just wanted to point that out. And, did you think it was Ally's grave at the start? Did you think she died? Because if you did, that's exactly what I was aiming for. But if you didn't, I'll just go crawl under a rock now. Review please :)