No Need For A Drive-In Movie
By Galaxy 1001D
Tenchi Muyo and all related characters are © AIC/Pioneer. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of AIC/Pioneer, the author, or this website.
This story takes place between the tenth and eleventh episodes of the OVA and after the first two volumes of the manga "No Need For Tenchi."
Chapter One: Drive-In or Drive-Through?
Because Mihoshi Kuramitsu was a beautiful young woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, many who met her did not believe that she was smart enough to read. Her cheerful demeanor and high-pitched childlike voice convinced many in the Okayama prefecture of Japan that she was a perfect example of the stereotypical 'dumb blonde.' Her ignorance over many commonly known facts made her seem especially dim. When she casually mentioned that she was a police officer from outer space, witnesses had a hard time stifling their laughter.
What was unknown outside of the country home of the isolated Masaki shrine was that Mihoshi actually was from outer space and her ignorance was perfectly understandable considering that she had not even been on the planet Earth for an entire year.
Contrary to popular belief, Mihoshi was intelligent enough to read. As a matter of fact, she was smart enough to read in the four major writing systems of the Japanese nation: kanji, hiragana, katakana, and rōmaji, the Roman alphabet. The hiragana system was the easiest for her because it closely resembled the syllabic writing system of the planet Jurai.
Yes, a gorgeous alien girl from outer space has no problem mastering a simple thing like syntax and vocabulary on a relatively primitive world like planet Earth. She was proving that point one morning by reading the newspaper.
"Hey guys!" Mihoshi's voice chirped. "You won't believe this! There are actually theatres that you can drive cars into!"
"That should make it easy on you," Ryoko teased. "That way you can run your car into one and not get in trouble!" Like her companion, Ryoko Hakubi was also from outer space. She was created thousands of years ago by the greatest scientific genius in the universe, but appeared to be a woman in her thirties. Although her long legs and buxom figure made her very attractive, her wild cyan-white hair, large ears, long canine teeth and golden eyes revealed that she was an alien. Unlike Mihoshi, Ryoko really was immature. Apparently blocking out thousands of years of mental abuse at the hands of an infamous villain had resulted in the maturity level of a rebellious teenager. When added to the drive of a woman in her sexual peak, the combination tended to make Ryoko… unpredictable.
"That's not fair, Ryoko," Mihoshi frowned. "I've been getting a lot better with my driving and I have my license I'll have you know!"
"Try to ignore her," Princess Ayeka offered. "That monster woman is just trying to get attention." Princess Ayeka of the planet Jurai was a slender teenage girl with purple hair and crimson eyes. Thanks to a combination of her youth, her father's taste in women, and the royal geneticists of her home planet, Ayeka's appearance was winsome and beautiful rather than foppish and inbred like the royalty on the planet she was residing on now. Although her lavender locks combined with her youthful countenance would make her seem rebellious, she was in fact the most proper and traditional of the housemates at the Masaki shrine. For example, she always wore Japanese kimonos instead of the latest styles from the west.
"I'll show you attention!" Ryoko growled, her wild hair making her appear feral and dangerous. "You're going to need medical attention if you don't watch that smart mouth of yours!"
"Stop that!" a high-pitched voice scolded. "If you two don't learn to behave, you can forget about dinner!"
"We're sorry Sasami," Ryoko and Ayeka chorused.
The Princess Sasami was the younger sister of Ayeka and her role of cook and caregiver was made more ironic by the fact that she was only nine years old. After the infamous 'Birthday Cake Incident' it was unanimously decided not to count the seven hundred years that she and her sister had spent in suspended animation. Sasami was an adorable little girl with sky blue hair, bubblegum pink eyes and sprinkle of freckles across her nose. Even that this age, it was easy to see that when she grew up she would break hearts.
"I'm sorry too, Sasami," Tenchi Masaki apologized. "I should have said something. With all that you do around here you shouldn't have to keep the peace too." Tenchi Masaki was the only one in the house who could truthfully claim to be born on this planet. When the slender teenage boy met the gaggle of interstellar beauties almost a year ago, he was surprised to discover that he was related to a royal family of aliens on his grandfather's side.
"That's okay, Tenchi," Sasami assured him. "I don't mind."
"I mind," the short and redheaded Washu Hakubi said in an irritated voice. "I'm going to have to take my meals in my laboratory if I have to listen to this every day." Although the four foot Washu appeared to be an eleven year old girl, the fact that she was over twenty thousand years old made her easily the oldest person in the house, or in the history of mankind for that matter. She too, was from outer space as her somewhat antiquated Galactic Science Academy jacket would indicate. When asked why she assumed the form of a child, her answer would always change. Sometimes she claimed that she sought the innocence that a youthful body would symbolize. Sometimes she said that she did not wish to suffer the indignity of 'feminine troubles'. Other times she flippantly stated that she wanted to pay half price for meals and admission. During bouts of melancholy, she would murmur something about honoring the memory of a child that was taken from her. Her housemates, including Ryoko, her superpowered creation assumed that after twenty thousand years, even a super genius goes a bit wacky.
"Meow," the furry little girl known as Ryo-oki agreed. Another creation of the ingenious Washu, the furry toddler could also take the form of an adorable feline/rabbit hybrid or a large and spiky spaceship.
"Ahem," Mihoshi cleared her throat. "As I was saying, it says here that there's a movie theater that you can drive into."
"What do you mean, 'drive into'?" Ayeka repeated.
"I mean there's a theater that you can drive inside of," the blonde clarified. "Your car can watch the movie too."
Princess Ayeka shielded her chin with her hand as she giggled girlishly. "Oh Mihoshi, you're such a joker. You know the very idea is absurd."
"Actually she's right." Tenchi spoke up in the blonde's defense. "There really are drive-in movie theaters here on Earth."
"Huh?" came the feminine chorus around the low table the group was seated at.
"Yes," Tenchi nodded. "I think they started in the United States in the 1930's. It took longer for drive-in theaters to reach Japan. In the eighties some parking lots that weren't being used at night were converted into theaters simply by installing a screen, a projector, and an office.
"Wait a minute," Ryoko said. "Parking lots? What about inside the theater?"
"Oh there is no inside," the boy clarified. "You just park your car outside and watch the movie in the parking lot."
"Oh," Mihoshi blushed. "Well, I thought the part about taking your car indoors sounded strange."
"Yeah," Washu nodded. "You'd pass out from carbon monoxide."
"Why would anyone want to go to one, Lord Tenchi?" Ayeka asked shyly. "I mean, aren't normal movie theatres good enough?"
"Well, a lot of people liked the freedom it gave you," Tenchi explained. "They are the only theaters where you can talk with your friends or bring a pet," he added, stealing a glance in Ryo-ohki's direction. He made the mistake of turning back to Ayeka and continuing. "And my dad said that they were great places to bring a date."
"A date?!" the fantastic females chorused. Stars were in each of the girl's eyes as each of them fantasized about a date with Tenchi Masaki at the drive-in movie theater.
"Hm," Ayeka mused. "A date with Tenchi…"
Tenchi and Ayeka were in a car watching the screen as sad romantic music could be heard. Ayeka was sniffling and brushing tears out of her eyes.
"Is something wrong, Miss Ayeka?" Tenchi gave her a concerned look.
"I-it's nothing Lord Tenchi," Ayeka smiled weakly. "It's just a very sad movie that's all."
"Don't cry, Ayeka," Tenchi smiled as he put his arms around her. "The movie may be sad, but in the real world everything works out…"
"Oh Lord Tenchi…" Ayeka put her arms around the man she loved as they embraced each other. The romantic music surged to a crescendo as the royal teenagers kissed.
"Hee-hee-hee!" Ayeka laughed mischievously.
"A date with Tenchi…" Ryoko murmured out loud.
Tenchi and Ryoko sat in Nobuyki's minivan as the flickering light from the screen illuminated their faces.
"Hey Tenchi," Ryoko said mischievously. "I heard that they call drive-in theaters 'passion pits'. How come?"
Tenchi smiled and blushed. "Well according to my dad, the drive-in was a great place to take your date and make out. He once told me that I was conceived in the backseat at a drive-in movie, but I think he was joking."
Ryoko's eyes lit up. "In the back seat, huh? There's a lot of room in a minivan, Tenchi!"
Tenchi blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "There sure is Ryoko!"
Ryoko blushed and smiled at Tenchi.
Tenchi blushed and smiled at Ryoko.
The minivan rocked up and down as the movie screen displayed rockets being fired into the sky, fireworks going off and other vague yet suggestive images.
"Oh yeah, a date with Tenchi," Ryoko smiled evilly.
"Hmm," Mihoshi put her forefinger to her bottom lip and looked at the ceiling. "A date with Tenchi."
Mihoshi was dressed in a pink sweater with a long skirt that had the image of a poodle monogrammed on the fabric. Tenchi was wearing jeans with the cuffs rolled up, a white tee shirt and a black leather jacket. His hair was slicked back and combed in way to resemble a 1950's Elvis Presley. The tune to Bill Haley's 1956 hit "Rock Around the Clock" could be heard as the couple hugged each other in Tenchi's 1954 Cadillac Sedan Deville.
"Hey Tenchi," Ayeka walked over to the driver's side while wearing a purple sweater with a monogrammed 'A' on it as well as a matching skirt and ascot. "Our car won't start. Can you take a look at it?"
"Sure thing, Princess," Tenchi replied nonchalantly. "This won't be a second, Mihoshi," he told his date as he got out of the car.
Parked next to Tenchi's Cadillac was a 1952 Chevrolet Bel Air two door hard top. Ryoko was standing next to hit wearing a leather jacket over her blouse and dress. Tenchi examined the exterior then rapped the hood with his fist. Like magic, the engine turned over and the car started. Ayeka and Ryoko smiled gratefully at the boy.
"Ayyyy," Tenchi purred in triumph as he gave the girls the 'thumbs up' gesture.
"Thanks Tenchi," Ryoko patted his shoulder. "You're a lifesaver."
"Thank you Tenchi," Ayeka chimed in. "We can take it from here."
"Okay, girls," Tenchi waved as he walked back to his car and the waiting Mihoshi. "Call me if it gives you any more trouble now."
When he got back in his car, Mihoshi put her arms around him. "Gosh, Tenchi, you're so cool," she gushed.
"Not half as cool as you, Cupcake," he said just before they kissed.
Mihoshi's bronze skin blushed beet red. "A date with Tenchi," she mused. "That would be so cool."
"Meow?" Ryo-ohki cocked her head to the side as her furry yet childlike face wrinkled in concentration.
Ryo-ohki was sitting on Tenchi's lap watching a movie while eating carrot sticks out of a popcorn tub. A 'Veggie Tales' movie was being shown on the big screen. In Ryo-ohki's other hand was a helium balloon on a string.
"Mew-mew-mew," Ryo-ohki smiled at the thought of time alone with Tenchi.
"A date with Tenchi," Sasami closed her eyes and grinned. The sun shone in through the window illuminating her radiant face.
Tenchi and Sasami were sitting in a car at the drive-in.
"Thanks for taking me to the drive-in, Tenchi," the girl patted his arm. "It must really be boring to have to watch a kiddie-movie."
"I don't mind, Sasami," the boy assured her. "I'm happy just to spend time with you."
"Aww," Sasami blushed and stars appeared in her eyes. "That's so sweet." She put her arms around the boy and kissed him on the cheek.
Tenchi's skin became beet red as steam erupted from his clothes. He got a dopey smile on his face as his body went limp.
"Aw, Tenchi, you're so shy," Sasami said affectionately as she hugged him.
"I'm shy too," murmured a blushing Sasami who had put her hands on her cheeks.
"A date with Tenchi, eh?" Washu pursed her lips while leaning back to gaze at the ceiling.
Ryoko, Ayeka, Mihoshi, Sasami, and Ryo-ohki were in the minivan at the drive-in theater.
"Does everybody have their 3-D glasses?" Ryoko asked from the driver's seat.
"Here!" the other's chorused as they pulled out cardboard and cellophane glasses from their clothing.
As the girls donned their eyewear, the announcer's voice boomed throughout the parking lot. "Ladiezzzzz and gentlemen! For your pleasure today we give you our special tournament of the evening! A no-holds-barred homoerotic wrestling match between Tenchi's-clone-wearing-a-tuxedo and Tenchi's-clone-wearing-thong-underwear! Who will win this three hour nonstop battle between two humpin' pumpin' jumpin' thumpin' paragons of teenage masculinity?"
"We will!" the girls shouted while throwing up their hands.
Meanwhile back at the Masaki house…
Washu and Tenchi danced the tango in the living room. Washu was wearing a bikini and had a rose clenched in her teeth. Tenchi was wearing silk boxer shorts and a Spanish style short crowned wide brimmed hat.
"Yeah," Washu nodded her head. "A date with Tenchi. That would be perfect. Heh-heh-heh!"
The rest of the housemates were pulled from their thoughts by Washu's disturbing laughter.
NEXT: Let's Go