Not So Romantic

(Da!Da!Da! is sole property of Mika Kawamura)

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It's already late night. The highrise buildings are standing like skeletons, mostly black, except a few glowing white lights through windows. The whole atmosphere is so still, so steel.

The road leading the apartment is so silent. Even the stone chips are like, sleeping. From the last street lamp to the entrance light- there's a gap of light in between, a half-darkish zone.

And there, a figure is sluggishly moving. It's coming towards the apartment.

The security guard gave a idle look to the young man entering. He did not even bother to move; he knows this person. That job-frustrated lad who write poems. Poets and writers are always mad, he knows. He went back sleeping fast.

Almost like a walking dead the man dragged his exhausted body into the elevator. Third floor. Empty passage, dying white light. Room six.

The room is not large, not at all expensively equipped. A small table, an old TV. One couch and a table. He lifted his head up, and let a yawn out; and headed to bathroom. Washing another day off body, and mind.

Slipping into trousers, he entered the bedroom.

"Miyu, am back." He whispered.

The figure lying on the other side of the dark room, gave no response.

"Miyu.." his voice was mix of despair and plead; like an exhausted traveller seeking for shelter.

"You drank again today." A woman voice replied, in a stern voice.

"Everyone scolds." he sat down on the bed, "you too, Miyu ?" said he, in a broken, wet voice.

She seemed to come closer, put a hand on his forehead, "what happened?"

"It's over, Miyu" he grabbed her hand. "I don't think the office is going to keep me anymore. They are right, what do I know about this job? It's all just like rolling a rock for me. Lifeless, tasteless, passionless."

He sunk his head into her chest. Sometimes this consoles him best.

Miyu, like, patted his head, "my, my! Now who is getting emotional here? The world doesn't end here, Kanata."

"I know.." Kanata sighed, "I'll probable get in somewhere else.."

"Not about your company! Why are not you trying it hard on your writing ?"

"Again?" Kanata nodded, "You know I've already tried, right ? There are already better people. They had no reason to choose me. A few publications is not enough to make a day's meal."

Miyu kept a hand on his shoulder, "There may be better, but there's not another you !"

Kanata blinked, "What does that mean?"

And she smiled beautifully in the light-less room, the darkness waved with her.

"There's a story only you can tell."

"And what's that?" Kanata did not seem impressed.

She lifted his head on her palm, and winked. "The story of us !"

"Our...story?" Kanata gasped, "But-"

"Uh, wouldn't that be most real? And you can put all of your emotions in it.." Miyu smiled leaning her shoulder, "..like the first letter you wrote me." A wide smile made her close her eyes.

Kanata smiled, at last, and approached her, "Hey, don't open eyes."

"Huh?" Miyu seemed astonished, but he did not open her eyes .

"And smile again! You don't even have slightest idea how adorable you look when you smile closed eye!"

"Grrr! Are my eyes that bad ?"

"Nah!" Kanata kissed on her eyes, "They are the first thing I fell for.."

"Eh? Eyes were the first thing you saw in that bathroom when we first met ? You ask me to believe that ?"

"Believe me! Those green eyes were the first! Although, you can't just ignore half budding breast-"

"SO YOU-" Miyu was going to shout, but Kanata promptly put hands under her top and started laying fingers on her belly button. Miyu burst out in laughter.

"What a weird place of being ticklish.." Kanata smirked.

"HEY! NO MORE! heeen..." She started rolling on bed, but Kanata forced her to be still riding on top of her.

"Hey, today.." Miyu suddenly got concerned.

"..your period starts, I know." Kanata whispered, as he kissed on her cheek "Don't worry."

Smiling her best, Miyu hid her head into his chest.

Suddenly the phone rang.

"Oh, hi Santa."

"Kanata? How are you now?"

"Good enough.." Kanata smiled. He knew where the conversation heading to. And it came after a few formal words.

"Are you alone?"

"What? Of course alone.." he answered, smiling at Miyu. The first story is already getting up on his mind.

It was flashlights everywhere in the loud press conference.

"Congrats Mr. Saionji for the best fictional work award for your book 'Strings of M'. You are the second person in the country to receive such a prestige. How do you react? "

"Well.." Kanata cleared his voice, "Am really surprised. I thought it just be appealing to a certain section of people. It was really not an organized writing, just some heavy bunch of feelings put together in form of letters."

"These 'strings' or letters, are all starting with mention of 'M'. Even the book is dedicated to some 'M'. There has been a lot of rumours about who this M really is. Would you like to shed a light?" someone asked.

Kanata smiled at the questioner, "M is every emotion."

"Are you saying M is not a personal reference to any woman ?"

"I am not saying anything, it's just a perception of reader."

"Do you agree with critics that M stands for your Muse? Some special driving force?"

"I think that's close, but also it's far larger than that. "

"So you won't reveal? "

"Some things are beyond explanation." Kanata closed his eyes, and opened again, "If you read my book, you may feel her. You will feel the 'M' . Every person in the world is writing a letter to his or her own M. A way or the other. It does not really matter it's of flesh and blood, or spiritual. Our life is full of holes. We continue weaving strings to fill them. "

No journalist seemed satisfied, as they wanted a clear cut gossip story. Between a famous young writer, and an unknown he is ruining it.

"Seems you are overprotective under all the words.." someone in the conference commented, and everyone laughed. Kanata joined too.

Way back to home, in car, he smiled to himself. Is he really protecting a lie under words? Is his love a lie? How would you define a lie..?

"Kanata!" Santa cried out over phone, Kanata had to put his ears away.

"What happened, Santa ?" he tried to sound cool.

"Just saw your conference live.."Santa's voice seemed disgusted.

"..But you are not calling to congratulate me, right?"

Santa did not care for Kanata's joke, "So you were lying to me all these days ? Miyu is back ?"

"Santa, listen-"

"No, you listen to me ! Kanata, you know Miyu is not here! She can't be! You need to go back to counseling.."

Kanata smiled, "And why so, Santa ? I am a mad, right?"

"You need help Kanata. You know it's 13 years since Miyu-"

"You don't need to remind me! I am grateful that you people helped me through a tough time. I know last year when I visited home you suspected I'll again be disturbed. But you know what? It's my heaven. Let me be."

Santa tried to tell something, but Kanata interrupted, "You better come one day here. Miyu cooks great now, you know?"

Entering the dark room, he cried out; "I did it! "

Someone answered, "I always knew." Hey, where is she? Did a figure just ran away into the bedroom? Or is she hiding behind the bolster?

"Miyu, come already.."

Kanata lied down on bed. May be he is mad, he thought. so many years after the plane crash. Does not matter. He is happy with her.

( A/N: As I told you, it was really not a story, um, or not a romantic story.. anyway thanks for tolerating)