Okay, so its been a while and this is, in a sense my first story, so try and bear with me.
I had an idea about this and where/when it was taking place when I started writing, but now the timeline is all over so it's a bit Au-ish when terms of when everything takes place is happening goes. For sure, they haven't hit nations, it's definitely after prom, and there are some thing that got changed (you'll figure it out).
Well, that's all I can think about saying for now. Enjoy.
You didn't understand the feelings she gave you, not at first. In fact, they confused you to no end, making you rethink a lot of things in all the time you've known her. You'd never really thought about it - never really cared to noticed. You might never had, but then sophomore year came and you both joined glee. You were sure the feelings in the pit of your stomach - the burning and almost uncontrollable rage that you knew only came from jealousy - were directed at her because of Finn, but they came back just as strongly - if not more so- for her other boyfriends and you know you had no feelings for them. Not even a little. Which is why you never understood that little voice in the back of your head that told you to go up to all three of them and possessively growl 'Mine!'.
Okay, so in hindsight, that should have been a big neon sign, but no. It wasn't until later, after you had won sectionals, and you had your arms wrapped around her - she fit so perfectly - and you felt warm tingles spreading throughout your body that you realized - that you allowed yourself to accept - you liked her and you liked her bad. You still remember the feeling of loss that hit you when she left your arms, followed closely by the need to pummel Sam when he gathered her up in a celebratory hug. God, did you have it bad.
Months went by and you both went through tough break-ups. Well, you didn't really care as much as you made it seem because, since finding out your true feelings, you just weren't that into it. Besides, you were just so happy that she was single and you didn't have to see her with someone else.
Even if she'd never be yours, the fact that no one was standing in the way gave you fuzzy feelings that made you lightheaded. Gave you a false sense of hope. One that was crushed once you saw what looked like the idiot that was Finn Hudson getting back together with her. With your girl and there was nothing you could do about it. You couldn't make her understand how awful he was for her. You couldn't make her understand that he didn't deserve her (or you for that matter). You couldn't open her eyes and show her you where right in front of her…could you? Would you be able to? Sure, you wanted more than anything to be able to tell her how you felt(what she made you feel), but could you really risk yourself like that? Could you handle the rejection if it came?
Looking up at the scene in front of you, Finn smiling that goofy(stupid) grin at her, grapping her hand in order to walk her to class. You grit your teeth as you looked away. Yeah, you could handle it. Risking everything was better then seeing Finn worm his way back to her and there was no way you were going to let him drag her down. No, you were going to come clean and express your feelings on the matter. On her.
And that's how you found yourself a week later, sitting impatiently in the choir room with your arms crossed and your head held high, waiting for glee to begin. You can feel your heart beat rise a little when she walks into the room, Finn trailing behind her like a lost puppy.
You think you may be having a small panic attack, which is weird because you never get nervous in front of people. Being who you are, you can't afford to get stage fright, but there's a first for everything you suppose - great timing too. You feel a warm, strong hand wrap around your own, clammy one and turn toward your companion. It's a weird turn of events, him being your ally in this. You both came a long way with each other in the past year - you've both grown - and your glad to call him a friend. He smiles at you, telling you to relax as he squeezes your hand. You return the gesture, but before you can reply, Mr. Shue walks in.
"Hey guys!" he greets, placing his things down on the piano. You get up as everyone returns his greetings, trying to speak before you lose your nerve.
"Mr. Shue? I have a song I'd like to sing." You say, ignoring the looks the club gives you as you wait for his reply.
"Um, okay, sure. Go right ahead." He says, before taking your now empty sit. You nod your head at Puck, calling him forth and wait for him to get his guitar, staring at your feet. Your shoes have a very interesting design, you conclude and you feel him giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before the opening note starts. You take a deep breath and look up.
Take time to realize
That your warmth is crashing down on in
Take time to realize
That I am on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you?
Your eyes roam, catching each and every member eyes briefly, before settling on the girl sitting in front of you. Her soft, soulful eyes staring right back as you continue to sing, a light smile on her face that tells you she doesn't understand(yet) why your singing this song - or that your singing to her - but also that she likes it.
But I can't spell it out for you
No, it's never gonna be that simple
No, I can't spell it out for you
It frustrates you a bit. Because here you are, singing your heart out and yet, she has no clue why. She never seems to understand why. Why you act the way you do. Why you do the things you do.
If you just realize what I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, now
Your eyes haven't left hers since they locked onto each others and you have no intention of removing them. So what if the entire club figures it out. It won't matter if she can't, which terrifies you more then performing for her does. All this work, the stress and internal (and external) panic, over nothing. Only, as you look at her now, you see her face looks a bit confused. Her smiles still there, but her brows are frowned a bit and you think she's never looked cuter. God, what was this girl doing to you?
Take time to realize
Oh oh, I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you
Take time to realize
Oh oh, I'm on your side
Ohhh, Ohhh
As you think back, you realize that - whether you meant to or not - you've always shown you cared for her. That she was the only person that could make you feel. Sure, you only excepted your feelings for her a couple of months ago, but you understand now that they've always been there, just below the surface. Now that they seem so clear, you wonder how no one else saw them before. How you didn't see them. How she still can't seem to be able to.
But I can't spell it out for you
No, it's never gonna be that simple
No, I can't spell it out for you
No, she doesn't seem to understand what you're trying to say to her with the song. She just sits there, cute and innocent, lips pulled back between her - wait, what? You do a double take, seeing her bottom lip caught in between her teeth, her brows still frowned as she watches you. Your heart starts to race again and you glance at her eyes, a shiver running through you at how intensely they stare back at you. Like she's trying to read your inner most thoughts, looking right into your soul.
If you just realize what I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
If we missed out on each other, but
She came to the conclusion a bit later then others, but before most (mainly the freakishly tall-man child who just glared at you when he realized what you were doing and who you were doing it for). You watch as the answers to her unasked questions come to her. You watch as the look of confusion the club gave you for wanting to sing, changes into shock and then understanding as they too, come to the same conclusion.
It's not the same
No, it's never the same
If you don't feel it too
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way
It could be the same for you
But you only have eyes for her. For the girl who is slowly but surely getting over her own shock and is giving you a small smile. A smile you've never seen before. It's not the smile she wears to school everyday for everyone to see, but a small, shy smile. One that doesn't show her teeth and brings out her adorable (and sexy) dimples, that seem to light up the (your) world. One that makes the tingles rush through your body and your stomach summersaults with the giddiness you feel. A special smile. Your special smile, that just gave you hope that she feels the same way you do.
If you just realize what I just realized
That we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
You close your eyes briefly, swaying to the music as you prepare yourself for the consequences of what this is about to bring you. You hope it wasn't a complete mistake doing this because if it is, you really don't know what might become of you.
Realize, realize, realize, realize...
The room is silent as the last notes of the song trail off and then, as if he finally reached a breaking point, Finn yells
"What the hell!" It was all the opening that was needed before everyone was speaking, chatting mostly to each other, but pointing, staring, and even giggling a bit. The worst part though, was that it wasn't even you they were mocking, but the beautiful girl in front of you, who shrunk back a bit at everyone's teasing. As if the whole thing was some joke you were trying to pull on her. It made your blood boil, and you clenched your fist as you opened your mouth to tell them off, but the huge form that appeared in front of you cut you off.
"What are you trying to pull, huh? Why can't you just let me be happy for once in my life!" Finn yelled, red faced and glaring at you, looking ready to kick a chair through the wall. You glare back, all your anger rerouting itself toward the ass in front of you.
"Incase you just misses the entire song, it wasn't about you! Maybe you should try and realize that the world does not revolve around you and your hypocrite, idiotic, ass of a self. This was for her," you point at her, catching her eye as she ignores all the jokes around her and stares intently at you again. "and what I feel about her." You finish, your gaze shifting back to Finn's. He looks redder then ever, his eyes burning from rage, his body shaking with his fist held so tightly at his sides his knuckles are turning white. You don't remember him being this mad when he found out about the baby and you freeze at what that could mean. What could have him so worked up about this (sure, your in the process of trying to win he's girlfriend over, but really)?
What if…No, you shake your head. No, she wouldn't do that. Your thoughts are interrupted, along with whatever he was about to say, as she walks up and places a calming hand on his arm.
"Finn, go and sit down please." She says softly, her eyes locked on his. It makes you want to throw up. Your head already making the worst assumptions. He looked at her like she just told him Christmas was cancelled.
"But she-"
"Finn, please. I know what she did, I was sitting right next to you."
He deflates a bit, but nods his head, glaring at you as he heads back to his chair. She turns her gaze toward you once he's sitting - sulking in his chair - but you quickly look away, unable to look at her with your thoughts. You don't think you can be in the same room as them really, so you leave, ignoring the calls of your name as you quickly walk into the first bathroom you find. Fuck! Your too late. She's his now and you can't change that. You want to kick yourself for waiting so long, ( not to mention, murder Finn) but you also know it won't make a difference. But that smile! The one you'd never seen before. The one she gave you, how could she smile like that if she was with him like that?
"It's becoming a habit, isn't it?" You hear her say and whirl around to face her. She's standing there, her hand trailing down the side of the sink as big, doe-eyes watch you. You wonder briefly what she means.
"You. Me. The bathroom." She clears up, her other hand motioning to the room around you.
"Are you having sex with Finn?" The questions leaves your mouth before you register what your saying. Her head snaps up to look at you and you see her eyes flash with many emotions before settles on anger.
"If I am, it really isn't any of your business." she snaps, glaring at you. You feel a low vibration in the back of your throat and you think it's a growl. Stepping forward, you trap her between a sink and your body, both of your arms gripping the edges as you lean in close, your face inches from hers.
"Answer the question, Berry." You say through clenched teeth. You see her sallow hard and you're a bit light headed from her smell. She's so close. Close enough to feel her heat radiating off her body. To feel her warm breath against your face.
"No. I'm not." She whispers, staring into your eyes searchingly. You breathe a sigh of relief and push forward a fraction, before pulling back to pace the space in front of her.
"Then why is he acting like he owns you? Like what I did is the worst thing in the world when we both know I've done far worse?" You ask, but continue before she can answer. "He's following you around like a lost puppy. Every time I see you, he's trailing behind like an idiot. It makes me want to punch him in the face. God! What did we ever see in that jerk!" You yell frustrated, running your hands through your hair. You'll find that later, when you look back on this moment, your acting way to over dramatic, but at the time you don't care.
"First of all, he's Finn. He acts like he owns everything. Doesn't stop me from refuting that I belong to him, because I don't. Especially not now, when we're not even dating. But we are friends and, after everything, he is one of my only real friends." You try to interrupt and say that's not true, but she holds up a hand to halt your protests.
"Please don't say anything. Everyone else is still a work in progress, so yes; Finn is my only friend. Except he doesn't want to be just my friend and has been trying to win me over." This time, you know it's a growl. "Which is why he's almost always with me. And is also why he's so upset with your performance - which was amazing by the way. But now he believes he has completion for something he thinks he already has." Your body tenses and turn to look at her.
"Dose he? Is there a completion?" You ask, biting your lip as she glares at you again.
"I am not a prize to be won Quinn Fabray!" Her look softens and she takes a step forward. "But no. there is no completion." Your heart breaks at her words, but you mask your face as best you can when you speak to her.
"I see. Well let me just say that your making a huge mistake." She smiles at you - smiles - looking amused.
"Oh? How so?"
"He doesn't deserve you. He's an awful boyfriend who doesn't defend you, doesn't treat you like you should be treated. You deserve someone who will understand you. Someone who pushes you toward the greatness that's impossible for you not to reach, not hold you back. Someone so much bigger then your settling for with Finn Hudson."
"Someone like you?" She asks, taking another step closer. You take a deep breath, staring into her eyes and giving her a sad smile.
"If I want to be completely honest," You say, shaking your head. "no." At her look of confusion, you continue, taking one of her hands and holding it close.
"You deserve someone better then me, too." You sallow hard. "I will say that I'd treat you better then Hudson. I'd protect you and support you and do anything and everything I could for you, but just like I know he doesn't, I know that I don't deserve you. I know you could do so much better then a shallow, ex-cheerleader who got pregnant at sixteen. So much better then the bitch who made your life a living hell because she couldn't come to terms with how she felt about you, because yes, I have liked you that long. I know you could do better than a Lima loser like me and you know that, too."
She looks down for a moment, clicking the tip of her tongue to the roof of her mouth before responding. "I know that I can make decisions on my own." You stomach drops a bit. "I know I can be an excellent judge of character - with the chance for error every now and then." She looks up and gives you a smile which you return, but allow her to continue without interruption.
"I also know that you, Quinn Fabray, are so much more than a Lima Loser. Your more then a teenage girl who got pregnant at sixteen and your more then the cheerleader that tormented me in high school." She lifts your chin up and your captured by the orbs of warm, chocolate brown that are softly staring back at you.
"You're the girl who has, in her own way, helped me built who I've become. I'm stronger because of you, whether you chose to see it that way or not. You're the girl who has a huge heart under that Head Bitch In Charge facade." You try to interrupt, but she places her finger on your lips and shakes her head.
"Do you really think that everything you do could go unnoticed? I know how you are with the people you care about. You do everything in your power to protect them and you care for them, even if they can't always see it. I know you do put others before yourself. And I know Beth will know that, too." Your throat tighten and you whimper a bit, but relax under her soothing touch. "I know that you just want what's best for me and just now I realized that you care about me enough to place my happiness before your own." You let out a shaky breath as she runs her fingers down your cheeks, and close your eyes.
"If anything," You feel her breath on your lips and she sounds louder than every even though she's whispering, but you keep you eyes closed. "I don't deserve you." You don't have a chance to reply, because the next thing you know, you have soft, warm and delicious lips upon your own. You don't hesitate as you wrap your arms around her, pulling her as close as you can. She runs on hand through your hair as her other holds your cheek, pulling you closer if possible. You've never felt the emotions and sensations you do as her lips mold together with yours. It's like an expulsion that spreads throughout your body, warming up your insides before collecting at your under belly. You could spend your whole life kissing her.
It strikes you as funny, later when you recollect the whole thing, that your plan had been to win her over, to show her that she had another option. You wanted her to realize what you were offering, but at the end of the day, with her sweet and addictive taste wrapping itself around you, you realized that she was offering the same. You would laugh at how ignorant the two of you were to realize that you both wanted the same thing, but then you feel her tongue gently shove it's way into your mouth and you think, at least you both got it now.
Realization never felt - or tasted - so good.
Okay, just to clarify, Puck is her companion that was briefly mentioned(really briefly), and this is all in Q's POV. I say this because my friend apparently got confused about it when he was reading the story, so if this happened to others as well, my bad. Anyway, hoped you enjoyed and please feel free to review. ;)