PLEASE don't judge me because of this. My best friend (RavenInTheNight) slept over at my house, and we both got sugar high. Thus, this madness happened. (This, along with a Portal crossover with Four Swords, and RavenInTheNight's oneshot 'Book'.) MORAL: Never leave two crazy authoresses alone with sugar. (Actually, I don't even remember if we were sugar high or 'drunk' in a sense, since this was written at roughly two in the morning.)

This was also written in roleplay format, so here are the characters we played:

The Great Mikey Weston: Green, Red, Zelda, Farore, Nayru

RavenInTheNight: Blue, Vio, Shadow, Din

Warnings: swearing, yaoi, occasional mess-up on tense because this was originally in RP format, various references, and OOC characters due to insanity

This has been edited from its original format to fit on your computer screen. If it weren't, our mindless banter would probably take up half of this oneshot.

No animals were harmed in the creation of this oneshot. However, one mosquito was squashed because it was flying by our ears. RIP one random mosquito.

Playlist for this oneshot (warning- it's ALL unfitting): Magnet (Rin and Len's cover), I'm Reading a Book- Julian Smith, Jellyfish- Julian Smith, Red Eye Flashes Twice- Julian Smith, various other Julian Smith stuff (though mostly I'm Reading a Book), Ebay- Weird Al

Once upon a time, the goddesses created Hyrule. Thousands of years later, they got incredibly bored and decided to make up legends to make it sound like Link had important work to do. Then Nayru fell asleep, so Farore and Din decided to screw Link's life up even more. AND SO FOUR SWORDS HAPPENED. Then Farore also fell asleep and DIN SWITCHED THEIR BODIES AROUND.

And it came to pass that Red woke up first. …Assuming it's morning. Actually, Farore technically woke up first and she made popcorn. …Yeah. ANYWAY. Red didn't notice anything at first because they're all Link. So of course he wouldn't notice. And then he waltzed over to the mirror. Again, nothing.

And then he turned on the light and did a double take. And the world said, let there be screaming.

And there was screaming.

Green popped up, "Oh, Goddesses, what are y—HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOTHES!" he jumped to his feet and grabbed Red's shoulder roughly.

Red made a WTF face. "…B-But, Green, these are Vio's clothes…"

"What are you talking about...? !" Green scowled, then looked down, "Why… am I in Green's…?"

"But, you are Green…"

"You imbecile! I'm Vio!" 8C

"Ooooooh… yeah… sorry…" Sweatdrop.

Another Red in Red's clothing yawned and looked up, "Vio, Red, shut- …"

And the world was silent.

And then Red scowled and went into Murder Mode. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES."

"Well neither of us are wearing them…" Red-as-Vio mumbled.

Red-as-apparently-Red grabbed Red-as-Vio by the shoulders, "VIO WHY AM I RED YOU HAD BETTER KILL ME KILL ME RIGHT NOW—"

"I'M Vio."

"…..YOU. KILL ME. RIGHT NOW." the Link who was now obviously Blue held his hands open for Vio to attack.

Vio opened a book and ignored him. "As much as I'd like to, Red, there is a time and a place for everything."

"I'm Blue!"

"AND I'M PROFESSOR OAK."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Meanwhile, Green was still asleep. …At least, I think it's Green. It could be Shadow for all we know. (*shot*) OKAY OKAY IT'S GREEN. Sheesh.

Red screamed. …And Green was asleep no longer.

Something that the narrator said made Vio curious. So he grabbed Green, "Which one are you?"

Green… uh… this is overused, but Green made a WTF face. (*shot*) Okay never mind. He just looked like rawr. …I guess. Can't think of a word for it… anyway. "I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SWITCH OUR CLOTHES. YOU. ME. SWORDS. AT DAWN."

"…" Vio sighed, "This is childish. Are you Blue?"

"I'm Blue!"

"You're not Shadow… you must be…." Vio pointed with a very serious face, "ZELDA."

"…You're pulling my leg, right?"

"HAHAHA! THAT'S FUNNY!"

"No, I'm pulling your shirt. That's irrelevant."

"I'M GREEN. And I thought you were smart…" GASP. SHOT AT HIS INTELLIGENCE.

Also by a bow and arrow. Because Link is a leaf now. And Green was… pinned to the wall. "Okay. Okay. Geez. Get me down."

"Let me see here…" Vio sighed, "Green is Blue, Blue is Red—"

"I RESENT THAT."

"….Red is me, and I'm Green… So who is Zelda….? No, that's stupid. I must be getting Green's brainwaves in here."

"I RESENT THAT!" Green paused. "…I just copied Blue. I'm acting like Blue. Oh goddesses."

Blue gasped, "NO. I'M GOING TO TURN INTO RED." And then he ran for the hills.

Red ran after him. "BLUE, COME BAAAAAACK!" BABY COME BACK. YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME! *shot*

"NO. YOU LEAVE ME ALONE. ALSO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES BACK."

"BLUE, IF YOU TAKE THOSE OFF I WILL THROW A BOOK AT YOU."

Blue ran back and hugged Vio. Red came back and fell on the floor. "…you run too fast!"

Green just sighed. "…I think all the blood is leaving my feet…"

Vio sighed, "If only Blue had gotten my body… then maybe some sense would be knocked into him."

"YOU SHUT UP."

"No."

"YES."

"No."

"YES."

"This is childish."

"YOUR FACE IS—no, that's Red."

"You're Red."

"OH NO. MY FAAAAAACE."

Meanwhile, Red was still faceplanted. On the floor. It's was hard to tell if his nose broke from the impact or not from that angle, but his position looked rather uncomfortable. Across the room, Green screamed, "AW, SCREW IT!" and tore the arrow from the wall. He fell down unceremoniously into a heap on the floor.

Vio turned to Green, "Oh. I forgot about you." He turned back to Red and began examining for any damage.

Red looked up. …Okay, forget the nosebleed, he had a black eye. NOW VIO HAS A BLACK EYE. REJOICE. *shot*

Green facepalmed. "…HOW COULD YOU—no. I'm not even going to ask. Screaming more will just turn me into Blue."

Vio chuckled, "Blue definitely makes his presence more—Redwhatdidyoudo."

"I have a headache…" Red whined.

Green snickered in the background, then looked mortified. Like, 'ohgoddessesI'mturningintoBlue' look. …You know?

"What did you do… What did you do…." The ground began shaking violently as Vio became increasingly, murderously angry for the first time since his creation. "WHATDIDYOUDOWHATDIDYOUDOWHAT- REEEEEEED, I WILL KILL YOOOOOOUUUU! ! !"

Green covered his ears. "Hey, Vio… when did you get so… uh… superficial?" Shot.

Red blinked. "What do you mean, superficial?"

"Well, he got mad about his clothes, you broke his face and he screamed at you… so did he become a narcissist?" Shot. Again.

"Oh, sorry, that must be your brainwaves." Vio shrugged.

"…I AM QUITE PEEVED."

Red just sweatdropped.

Vio spread his arms out. "Hey, man. You're cruising for a bruiser here."

"…Oh goddesses, did you really just say that?"

"….Why did… I don't think I've heard you say that before." Vio facepalmed, "BUT WE'RE GETTING OFF-TOPIC." He drew his sword and… well, and then there was a wacky chase scene.

Red screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH!" Because Red needed a loud scream. …Yeah.

Green facepalmed. AGAIN.

Blue chased after Vio, "WAIT! KILL ME, TOO!"

Green paused. "…Well, since I'm Blue, violence is justified… so…" He got up and chased them, sword drawn, cackling evilly. "VIOLEEEEEENCE!"

And Zelda appeared under a tree, snickering, "Wow. The Links are rowdy today."

Vio looked up, "Zelda?"

"No, you doofus. Damn, I thought you were the smart one." Zelda grinned, "Is my hair that BAD today?"

Red climbed the tree. "ZELDA HELP ME."

Green ran in circles around the tree. …Cackling. …Brandishing his sword. …My, he HAS lost it.

Zelda stared at him in distaste for a while, then booted Red out of the tree, "Vio, that was pathetic."

"I'm Vio."

"Wow. You can't expect me to keep up with stupid clothing changes, can you?"

"Zelda… I…"

"I'M NOT ZELDA, YOU NIMROD."

And Green stopped in his tracks. Actually, he was just tired, but we'll pretend he had an insightful moment. "Wait… if you're not Zelda, who are you?"

Red gasped. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ZELDA?" Shot. Because we could say the same for any of them.

Zelda examined her nails, "Maybe this dress is what making you all so stupid. Of course, I know I look good in drag, but this is silly."

"…..Are you Shadow?"

"Duh!"

And then there was silence. Even for Blue.

Green gaped. "…I think I've been scarred for life."

Red threw up.

Shadow magically floated down on the powers of darkness, giving the Links a panty shot they never EVER wanted.

Green facepalmed. Red fainted.

Vio held a book to his face, "I think I'll be sick…"

Blue held his sword up as if to stab out his eyes.

Shadow touched down with a scowl, "You all know I'm sexy."

"NO YOU'RE NOT. YOU IMBECILE." And then Shadow walked in. But it's probably Zelda, so we'll say Zelda. She just had a completely WTF face. …Overused. OVERUSED! "DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO WAKE UP LIKE THIS? NO. I JUST WANTED A NORMAL DAY…" nag nag nag.

Shadow looked disinterested, then bored, then curled up in a ball, and soon there were snores.

"…AND NAG NAG NAG—HEY, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

Red woke up and nodded, much like Paper Mario. Green blinked. "I lost track after 'normal'…"

Vio dragged the sleeping Shadow away, "Who needs darkness when there are princesses…."

Blue scowled, "EXCUUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS." It was unclear whether he meant Zelda or Vio.

Green followed Vio. "Who needs princesses? They're nags!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"NOTHING! I SAID… THEY'RE… UH… …help me, I can't think of a good word that rhymes with 'nag'. I mean, there's hag, and there's rag, and then there's just fag, and that's just rude…"

Red sweatdropped.

Blue shrugged, "Let's TAG along with the PRINCESS."

Vio facepalmed, "We are not doing this. Red, follow—no, that will make it look like I went dark again—WHERE IS THAT FAIRY."

Erune popped up, "What do you need?"

Vio fainted from stress of stupidity.

Red suddenly became bipolar. "This is incredibly silly. BUT I'M HUNGRY… but this is stupid, seriously, let's do something. But—HEY BLUE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? ARE YOU COMING BACK?"

Green sighed. Again. Then he drew his sword and ran in circles. "HEY BLUE! THIS IS YOU! THIS IS HOW DUMB YOU LOOK!" Shot for Portal reference.

Blue x2 facepalm combo'd. "You guys…."

Shadow woke up and raised Vio's sword, aiming to throw it at Green. Blue screamed, "GREEN! I THINK HE'S GONNA HIT YOU! YOU NEED TO LOOK OUT! GREEEEEN!"

Green screamed and ran. "WHY? HIT SOMEONE ELSE!"

Zelda-as-Shadow popped over. "Okay, seriously, now this is just getting stupid."

"I know, right—BLUUUUUE! I'M HUNGRY!" Still bipolar. Ah, Red…

And then Vio woke up. And he realized – that he was Green. It was him. And Shadow was Zelda. And he fainted again. From a nosebleed.

"BLUUUUUUUUUUE!" Red tackled Blue. "…Why. Why did I do that? …Act first, ask questions later! BLUE."

Green sighed. "…Okay. Someone kill me."

"If this goes on much longer I'll kill ALL OF YOU!" Zelda growled. Everyone (everyone who could, anyway) took five steps away from her.

Blue flailed around, "RED, GET OFF ME, YOUR BODY IS WEAK AND SHORT."

"The book I read before called that a 'hobbit'."

"You're awake?"

"Yes."

"WHATEVER. GET OFF ME, HOBBIT BASTARD."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Red flailed.

Green fainted! Use next Pokemon?

Zelda cackled. "VIO HAS A NOSEBLEED! THOSE DON'T HAPPEN SPONTANEOUSLY! BWAH HA HA HA HA!"

Vio covered his face, "No I don't."

Shadow grinned at him deviously, "You think I'm sexy~!"

"No I don't."

"You need a serenade!"

"NO I DON'T."

"I'M BRINGIN' SEXY BACK—"

And then Shadow got a book in the face. The title was 'tact'.

Clearly, tact was not one of Shadow's better qualities.

Red jumped up and promptly fell down again…in a fetal position. "THIS IS WEIRD. THIS IS WEIRD."

And Green was still blacked out. Because he ran out of Pokemon. *shot*

"Pwned." That was all Zelda had to say.

Blue sat on the ground and sang, "Cuz I'm a weirdo, retarded and—" and he got a book in the face entitled 'how to act like you have a brain'.

Red mumbled to himself. He's… lost it.

Green woke up, saw the book thrown at Blue, and snatched it from him. He promptly started to read.

Zelda was just having a parade by this point. Seriously.

Vio stole Red's magical rod from Blue and pointed it at Zelda. It shot rain at her.

Zelda got wet. Then she screamed. "OKAY, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU." And then there was ANOTHER wacky chase scene.

Shadow grabbed Vio and poofed. They reappeared on the tree, which Blue had just climbed up out of fear. Then Shadow jumped into Vio's arms, "OH, LINK, SAVE ME. GANON-ZELDA IS TOO EVIL."

Vio scowled, "Excuse ME, princess."

And then he threw Shadow at Zelda.

"TRAAAAAIIIIITOOOOOOORRRRR!"

Up until this point, Zelda had been continuing to have a parade, even after the rain. Thought process: Vio. Shadow. Tree. Sitting in it. You get it. Zelda's immature. And then, upon being hit, she screamed again. "OHHH NO YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT. Okay, seriously, I'm going to kill all of you. SLOWLY. AND PAINFULLY. Especially you, Vio."

Everyone took five MORE steps away from her. Except for Red, who was still in a fetal position.

Vio put one hand on his hip, snapped the other and moved his head in a circle, "EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS."

Blue clung to Red, "SAVE ME."

Zelda had a field day with that. "YOUR BRAIN IS GETTING AFFECTED! YEESH!"

Meanwhile, Red was still mumbling. "Space space yes please space wanna go to space ba ba ba space bababa space ba baa baba ba SPACE. 12. 12. 12. 12. 12. 12. 12. 12. Pants. Pants. Pants. Pants. Pants. Pants." It continues.

Green was still reading.

Red got a book in the face entitled 'how to form complete sentences'. Zelda got one entitled 'EXCUSE ME, PRINCESS: a history'. Blue got one entitled '!$%$#^%$&#^$^&'. Shadow got one entitled 'the ramen way'.

And Green got an enormous book in the face. …it's called: "Gone with the Wind".

Vio sweatdropped, "I didn't throw that…"

Shadow raised a hand, "I DID."

"I hate you."

"I HATE YOU TWO."

And then Shadow pounced on Vio. And sloppy hate-makeouts happened.

Somewhere, in an alternate universe, an authoress gave an involuntary shudder.

Green was knocked out by the book. But then he woke up and screamed, "DON'T YOU EVER INTERRUPT ME WHILE I'M READING A BOOK."

Red was actually broken from his trance by Green's scream. He said something that no one could understand. I think it was in German.

Zelda just cackled evilly.

Blue flailed around in circles, "I AM A CATERPILLAR."

Erune frowned, "His brain broke…"

"It broke a long time ago," Green replied simply.

Red continued to speak German.

Zelda was ROFLing.

Blue responded to Red by speaking in French. With a Mexican accent.

Red somehow understood and responded in Spanish.

"OH MON CHURRO. AI LAV YUUUUUUU~!" Blue snuggled Red like a kitty.

Red said something else in Italian. Then he squealed upon being snuggled. "AAAAAGH! COFFEE! COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE." Translation: "BLUE IS HUGGING ME. YAY!"

"QUACK. QUACK QUACK QUACK. QUACK. I'M A PIG."

"Giraffe…"

A giraffe floated through the sky. Blue pointed to it, "IT'S A MOOSE."

Green sighed in the background. "Oh no. I'm the only sane one left. My nightmare has come true."

Zelda leapt up with a murder face. "OKAY SERIOUSLY, I'M GOING TO MURDER ALL OF YOU."

Red screamed.

Blue veeeeeeeery slowly frowned. And then gasped. And sloooooooowly put his hands to his face. And had a scream face. Silently.

Red flailed. "BLUE BLUE BLUE WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

Green looked unimpressed.

"OH NO! BUT IF WE DIE, WHO WILL COME SAVE US?"

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM! BLUEEEEEE!"

Green started to ignore everyone.

Zelda flailed. "TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. BECAUSE IT'S MURDER TIME. …'K?"

And no one survived that night.

Or did they?

…Continue? Yes or Male?

Upstairs, Farore hissed. "THIS IS GETTING STUPID. Din, you idiot, you made them retards!"

Din shrugged, "Nayru can fix it. CASE CLOSED, LET'S GET DRUNK."

Farore facepalmed. "You never fail to amaze me."

Nayru suddenly appeared with a bazooka. "WTF ARE YOU GUYS DOING? ALRIGHT, WHO WANTS TO DIE FIRST?"

"OH FRICK."

And then Hyrule collapsed in chaos.

Even Ganon died.

The End.

Green woke with a start. "…whoa. …That was some dream."

And he promptly fell asleep again.

Fin.

…And in short, that is how Link's Awakening: The Four Swords Version occurred. Green has very, VERY weird dreams.

Please don't judge me. *hides*

…Oh, and review. Tell me your favorite part. Or at least, the part that made you laugh the hardest.