Summary: "I'm not ready to forgive you Blaine." "I don't expect you to be." He doesn't expect to be forgiven; he just wants to be in the other boy's life no matter what the role.
Disclaimer:Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy. My name is not Ryan Murphy; therefor I do not own Glee.
Warning: Mentions of non-con, nothing graphic.
A/N: This is the third story in my 'Alter Bridge' trilogy of oneshots. I highly recommend reading the others before reading this one; however I suppose it's not totally necessary. The other two stories are, in order, 'The Skin on Me is Burning' and 'From the Fire He Cries Out'. I hope you like it.
The Tide's Only Rising
Blaine stood awkwardly on Kurt's front doorstep and nervously pressed his finger to the doorstep. Unlike two days ago when Kurt had shown up at his house, and yesterday when Finn had shown up, it was sweltering hot and he carefully wiped the trickles of sweat appearing on his forehead.
He shuffled from foot to foot, hoping that someone answered the door soon, but he wouldn't blame them if they kept him waiting. He knew he deserved to wait out here until he got heat stroke.
He squinted against the sunlight as the sound of footsteps came from within the house and slowly became louder.
The door opened, and Burt Hummel stared at him for a second, green eyes narrowing in fury, before slamming the door in his face.
Honestly, he'd kind of been expecting that. Well actually he'd almost been expecting another black eye. He pressed his finger to the doorbell again and listened with trepidation as someone, presumably Kurt's father, stomped back towards the door.
"You're not welcome here," Burt growled fumingly as he yanked the door open, "Go home."
Blaine bit down on his lip hard, nearly drawing blood, "I can't. Kurt needs me."
"He needed you, past tense, but you weren't there then, were you?" Burt snapped at him, getting ready to slam the door again but Blaine stuck his foot in front of the door. The door bounced hard against his foot, sending a radiating pain through it.
"Please," Blaine begged softly, his foot throbbing. "Let me see him. If-if he asks me to go I promise I will. I just- I need to see him." He just needed to get in the door. He needed to see Kurt.
Burt stepped back to let him in, not looking pleased in the slightest. Instead as Blaine removed his shoes and peered at the slightly injured foot, the older man studied his face while wearing a glowering look. "Where'd you get the black eye?"
Blaine lowered his head, not looking Kurt's father in the eyes, as the words came out in a whisper, "I asked Finn to hit me."
There was an intelligible growl followed by a curt, gruff, "Good."
Blaine licked his lips nervously, before asking in a hesitant voice, "W-where's Kurt?"
Burt gave a jerky point upstairs and Blaine took that to mean that Kurt was up in his room. He quietly thanked Burt before walking towards the stairs, wincing a little every time he put weight on his right foot; the one he'd impulsively shoved between the door and it's frame.
It was taking everything he had to keep from darting up the stairs and bursting into Kurt's room or to scramble from the house all together. Instead he carefully climbed the stairs before knocking quietly on Kurt's bedroom door and impatiently waiting for some kind of answer or beckon.
He heard whispers from within the room, before the door opened and Finn stared out at him from the doorway, looking, if possible, more furious than he had the day before. "Look who finally decided to show up."
"Can I just see Kurt, please," Blaine asked in a soft voice, craning his head to try and look over Finn's broad shoulders to catch a glimpse of Kurt. "I need to talk to him."
Finn turned over his head and called into the room, "Its Blaine. Do you want to see him? I can make him leave if you want me to."
He heard Kurt's soft voice, "No. Let him in."
Finn took a step back and let Blaine step awkwardly into the room. He stood there in the doorway hesitantly, before stepping over to the bed where Kurt was sitting with his legs dangling off the side. "Hi," he said with a quiet breath.
"Hi," Kurt mumbled, looking away from him, "Why are you here?"
Blaine wasn't even quite sure of the answer to that question himself. All he knew was he had all these emotions bursting from his heart and he didn't know what to do about them. Instead, he just told Kurt the only truth he knew, "I'm here because I love you and- and I don't think I can live without you." The words just started spilling from his lips, "And you need me right now and I can't- I just can't not be there for you again."
Kurt looked at him, his eyes shining and yet somehow blank, "I'm not ready to forgive you Blaine."
"I don't expect you to be," he whispered, stepping forward a little more, "Can I sit?"
Kurt shrugged and Blaine took that as a yes, sitting down next to his kind-of-ex-boyfriend. He wasn't quite sure where they stood at the moment.
"I don't even know if we can be friends after that," Kurt admitted softly, although he didn't pull his hand away when Blaine slipped his hand underneath it and grasped it softly. "I don't know what we are anymore- except broken."
"Will you at least let me be here for you?" Blaine asked him cautiously. "I don't care what I am to you Kurt, as long as you let me stay in your life." He squeezed back the tightness in his chest that was threatening to make tears burst forth, "and maybe- maybe when you're better- when you've worked through this- we could start over?"
Kurt let out a soft bitter laugh and asked Blaine sadly, "Who says I'm going to get through this?"
"I do," Blaine murmured, swallowing the thick lump in his throat. "And I know- I know that Finn and your parents will help you too, probably more than I can. But- but that doesn't change that I still want to be here for you."
Blaine's eyes caught movement from the doorway as Finn moved towards them and sank on the other side of Kurt, grasping the boy's other hand, "For once your douche-bag ex-boyfriend is right about something, about you getting through this anyway."
Blaine could feel Kurt's body begin to shake and he could tell that Finn could feel it too. Soon the porcelain skinned boy was sobbing and leaning into his shoulder; his, not Finn's. Carefully he wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders, letting Kurt grasp at the front of his shirt tightly.
Finn crossed his arms, looking stormy as Blaine embraced Kurt.
"I-I jus-just want it a-all to s-st-stop," he heard the other boy whisper as he sobbed. "I-it h-hurts."
If there wasn't a crying boy in his arms he could have torn his hair out right then and there. He literally wanted to die. The tearful words that escaped Kurt's throat had ripped at his skin until they'd hit bone, leaving him raw and hurting.
Yet he knew it was nothing compared to what Kurt was feeling.
"I know," he whispered softly, carefully stroking his hair, "I know. I'm so sorry Kurt. I love you. I love you so much, you know that?"
A wet laugh broke through the sobs and he winced. Thankfully, Kurt didn't voice the thoughts that made him let out that bitter noise.
"I do love you," he promised him in a quiet voice.
"Maybe it's time for you to leave," Finn suggested in a low voice, carefully reaching forward to take Kurt by the shoulders and guide him into his arms. Kurt didn't put up any struggle; instead he just clung to his brother in Blaine's place.
Not wanting to push his luck, Blaine sullenly rose to his feet. He looked at Kurt and Finn, before asking in a tender voice, "You'll take care of him?"
"Better than you ever could," Finn told him, his voice losing some of its anger, but none of its conviction.
Blaine lingered awkwardly in the room, before looking at Finn with a question in his hazel eyes, "Do you remember that band; the one that did that song I sang to Kurt?"
Finn furrowed his eyebrows, "Yeah, Alter Bridge, right?"
"Will you let me stay long enough to sing another one?" He asked, his eyes now looking at Kurt, who was slowly drawing away from Finn to stare up at him with his glasz eyes. He was glad to see that despite that they were red rimmed and filled with tears that they looked less grey and more like the ocean-y hue they usually had. "Actually I was going to ask if you'd sing it with me. I just- I feel like it's something Kurt needs to hear."
Without waiting for a reply from the other boy, he opened his mouth and started to sing.
And you say this ain't living
You say you can't go on
Only take as you're given
Now your hope is all but gone
Though you lost your way (now is not forever)
But I know your pain
Blaine saw the look of recognition in Finn's face and hoped the other boy would join in the lyrics soon. He needed Kurt to hear that things would eventually be okay, even if it never would be for them as a couple.
A small sigh of relief nearly left his lips when Finn joined in the chorus of the song.
We all fall sometimes you're not the first
But I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
In the end you'll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
He let his own voice trail away for a moment and listened as Finn sang to his brother, staring into Kurt's eyes with fierce intensity.
And the tide's only rising
The storm is on its way… yeah
But you can't keep on fighting
So batter worn and so afraid
Though it's sad and wrong
I hope you will remember
You must carry on
He let his voice pick back up again; singing the rest of the song with the boy he was pretty sure hated him. At the moment, it didn't matter. They were both too busy trying to convince a boy they both loved, albeit in different way, that they were here for him and that Kurt could make it through this.
We all fall sometimes you're not the first
But I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
In the end you'll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
There's still tomorrow
Hold on hold on
There's still tomorrow
Just wait just wait
There's still tomorrow
Hold on
We all fall sometimes you're not the first
But I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
In the end you'll find what you deserve
Still I know it hurts
Yeah I know it hurts
(I Know it Hurts - Alter Bridge)
Kurt stared at them for a long moment, "I appreciate the sentiment," he whispered in a hoarse voice, "but neither of you know my pain, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't pretend to."
"That's not the point of the song," Blaine told him, keeping his voice as calm as possible, which wasn't very. It wasn't anger however that pervaded his tone, but desperation, "I know I have no idea how you're feeling right now Kurt. All I know is that you're in pain; pain that I couldn't even imagine and it kills me inside. Especially- especially since it's my fault."
Kurt looked up at him for a long moment, his eyes sad yet somehow blank, "You're right. It is your fault."
"I-" Blaine let his shoulder's slump, "God don't hate me for asking this, but why didn't you ask for me- me to help you? I'm just- I'm curious."
Kurt glared at him (although Finn glared harder), before with a shaky voice he answered, "When he heard the door open he told me to be a good boy and wipe my tears. He said he'd kill whoever came through the door if I didn't do what he said," Kurt shook his head quietly, "I-I had to be quiet. H-he got so mad when I called af-after you. I guess- I guess you didn't see him when he covered my mouth with his hand."
Blaine pulled at his hair, "I should have known! God even if- I don't even know why I'd think otherwise."
"Blaine," Finn spoke up in a tight voice, repeated what he'd told him earlier, "Maybe you should leave now; like we agreed."
"Yeah," Blaine whispered, his voice breaking softly. "Maybe you're right."
"Blaine-" Kurt stopped him before he could even take a step towards the door.
"Yeah Kurt?" Blaine asked, turning his eyes onto the slightly taller boy, "What is it?"
"Maybe you should stay with me instead?" Kurt's voice was uncertain and he swallowed slightly. "I-I don't know if I forgive you, but," his shoulders slumped downward, "I don't want you to leave. P-please don't leave."
"Kurt he-" Finn broke into the conversation, starting to pace around the room. "Why do you want him here? I just don't get it."
Kurt chewed on his lip, his eyes flickering between the two boys before he opened his mouth, "I don't know. I don't get it either. I just- I just do."
"Kurt," Blaine sank back beside Kurt on the bed and tentatively took his slender hand. He knew that the Hummel-Hudson's wouldn't be happy about his continued presence in Kurt's life (even if it wasn't as his boyfriend) but he couldn't help himself, "I'll be wherever you want me to be, for the rest of my life, okay?"
Kurt frowned, but leaned against the other boy anyways, "Okay."
A/N: Whether they are 'back together' or not can be up to you, although personally I don't think they'll be getting back together anytime soon… at least not in this 'verse.
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