Summary: Cassie worries about her future on Earth. Jack and Cassie friendship. Missing scene from Rite of Passage

Author's Notes: Written for Women of the Gate ficathon using the prompt: The first time Cassie realized just how different she still was even after several years on Earth.

The Stranger Within

The memory kept playing out in her head. Over and over again, almost like a rerun - Dominic standing there, looking so handsome, the gift in her hand glittering in the lamplight, the look on his face just before they kissed. All gone in a flash of light that coursed through her body and sent her into a nightmare she just couldn't escape from. Cassie wasn't sure what happened, except that the energy that had been coiling in her body for weeks had finally spiraled out of control. She stared at the ceiling, knowing deep down that Dominic would never be coming around to see her again.

Not that she blamed him. She knew better than anyone that she was different. She can still remember the sickness in the village where she was born, then the loneliness when she was the only one who survived. An anger that always seemed to be welling up in her lately reared up yet again as she remembered the trip through the Stargate and the subsequent ordeals she went through after that. She had thought she was safe. Sam and Jack, and even Janet had led her to believe that she was one of them. That she could live here on Earth without anyone ever knowing her deepest secret. She was an alien. A freaking outcast from outer space, and now she was alone again.

"Hey Cassie. How you holding up, kid?"

Cassie looked toward the door of her room in the infirmary and glared at the intruder. She didn't need his judgment right now. "Your timing sucks, Jack."

That stopped him. He stood still for a moment, eyebrows raised as if to say, huh? His reaction nearly brought a small smile to her face, but anger always seemed to rule her life lately. She just turned to look back at the ceiling, waiting to hear what he had to say, while at the same time wishing he was just gone.

"It's nice to know that I'm appreciated," Jack said, sarcasm lacing his words. He came to stand next to her bed, his hands in his pockets. "When is a good time?"

She didn't have an answer for him. She tried to find one, but then gave up with a sigh. "I don't know. I'm just…" She looked at him then said, "I guess I'm just tired of life in general and not ready to deal with anyone right now."

He nodded at her, his expression now grave. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he came over to her bedside, pulling a chair along with him so that he could sit. "You're too young to be tired of life, Cassie."

She nodded in return, knowing he was right. The lights in the ceiling dimmed for a moment and Cassie wondered if maybe she'd done that.

"I'm scared, Jack."

"I don't blame you."

Trust Jack to know the right thing to say, Cassie thought sarcastically. The man can be so clueless sometimes. She needed encouragement, not sympathy. She turned her attention to the ceiling again, while Jack searched for something to say.

"Look Cassie," he said, apparently giving it a try anyway. "I'm not going to sit here and tell you that you have nothing to be afraid of because fear keeps you on your toes. It makes you stronger in a strange kind of way. But I will tell you that there is always a way out of a bad situation and the number one thing you have to remember is that death is never the answer."

She nodded, hoping to give him the impression that she was listening. She heard his words; she just had a hard time believing them.

He reached over and grabbed her hand, holding onto it even though she worried the heat radiating from it would burn him. He held her hand tightly in his own, while he stared at her intently. She wanted so badly to believe him, but everything just hurt.

"So how is school going?"

Cassie gaped at him in shock. "What?"

"School. You know. That place you have to go to every day to learn about math and science and stuff?"

"I know what school is Jack." She felt a little better now that she was smiling again. "I'm just surprised you brought it up so suddenly."

"Well, I'm nosy like that."

She knew him better than that. "No you're not." He gave her a crooked grin, and Cassie decided to play along. It was better than sitting here with her fears.

"School's okay," she said. "The teachers can be a little demanding, and some of the kids are just out there, but all in all, school's okay."

"Okay huh?" He raised his eyebrows at her and asked, "What about Dominic?"

It was Cassie's turn to raise her eyebrows. "Dominic?" She stared at him warily. This was so unlike him. "Are you okay, Jack?"

"Yes Cassie, I'm fine," he said with a grin. "I'm just curious about your new boyfriend, okay? That's all."

There it was. He wasn't concerned about her so much as he wanted to know what was going on with Dominic. The anger she was learning to live with reared within her, making her want to slap him. Why can't everyone just leave her alone? She pulled her hand out of his and turned to look back at the ceiling.

"He's probably not my boyfriend anymore."

Silence followed her announcement, but only for a moment.

"Probably?"

Cassie didn't bother to try to explain. How could she. Dominic must know by now that she was different than the other girls. No matter how hard she tried to hide her past and fit in with the others, she was still an alien. Something they would never understand.

"You guys have a fight?" It was clear Jack was confused, but Cassie was too angry with the world to try to help him out. It pissed her off that everyone was talking about her anyway. How else would Jack know about Dominic?

"Cass?"

His voice was soft and soothing, but Cassie was far too enraged to let it calm her.

"A freaking light bulb blew up and I passed out," she yelled, tears of rage and grief streaming down her face. "A light bulb, Jack. He's gotta know by now that I'm a freak. God, the whole school probably knows by now."

"You're not a freak!" Cassie didn't really hear him. All her fears and sorrow had found a way out and she hated that her self-control was weakening. She had been doing all right until he showed up.

"Yes I am," she said with a small sob. She tried to cover her eyes to hide the tears, then turned her head into the hand that came over to touch her cheek. "All these years I tried to fit in and it was all for nothing. I don't even know why I tried."

Jack's fingers were stroking her cheek, and Cassie was suddenly very glad he was there. He didn't say anything, just comforted her in the only way he knew how and she was once again starting to feel better.

"I just want to be like everyone else, Jack. Is that so much to ask for?"

"You're not so different," he told her as he wiped away her tears. "You still have the same worries and fears that your friends deal with, and I know for a fact that you have the same bad attitude." He stared at her for a moment, his expression wary, then said, "You really should treat your mother better."

"Yeah," Cassie said as she wiped her eyes. He had no idea, she decided. No clue whatsoever that she was dealing with more than just a sudden understanding that she didn't belong here, a feeling compounded by the fact that her mother didn't seem to care either.

"She loves you more than you will ever know, Cassie."

Cassie just nodded as she turned her attention back to the ceiling. No use arguing with him, she thought. She just wanted him to leave.

Silence built up while Cassie dwelled on her life, and at the same time battling the overwhelming urge to get up and leave. She wouldn't get within 10 feet of the Stargate anyway, let alone be able to operate the controls to dial it up. She glared at the ceiling, wishing that she could have control of her life, just this once.

"Cassie."

He wasn't going to leave. She turned to look at him, wondering what he had to say this time. Probably ready to ream her out for something else.

"Dominic was told that the light bulb blew up due to faulty wiring and you were hit by a stray electrical current or something. He has no idea that you were the cause of the surge." A strange feeling of hope rose up in Cassie, and she couldn't help but feel like maybe she was redeemed. Maybe Dominic would want to see her again after all. She stared at Jack, hope blooming up in her heart and he nodded at her, his own expression radiating confidence. Maybe her life wasn't so bad, after all.

"No matter what, you are a part of this world, Cassie. That counts for a lot in my book." She continued to stare at him while he talked, wanting so much to believe, yet so afraid. She just wanted to belong somewhere. He gave her a smug grin. "You may be able to blow up electrical appliances without even thinking about it, but hey, you are a normal teenager just like everyone else."

That was what she liked so much about Jack. He could make her smile even when she wanted to hurt somebody. He grinned back at her, but then turned serious.

"This is your home. I don't iever/i want to hear you say it's not."

She nodded at him, already feeling better about her status among her friends, although time would tell if what Jack said was really true. But he was so adamant, so believable… She reached out and touched his hand, suddenly very happy he stopped by.

"Thank you, Jack. This talk has helped a little bit."

Jack nodded, his expression still somber. He grabbed her hand, holding it tight as he leaned in toward her. "If I could take all this away from you, Cassie, I would." Tears leaked from eyes at that statement, but Jack wasn't finished. "We will find the answer and we will kick this thing in the butt. You gotta hang in there for me until we do, okay?" She nodded, her eyes filling with more tears. She would give him that, if for nothing else than because he wanted it from her. She would do anything for him.

"Promise?"

"I promise," she said with a teary nod.

"Good!" He got up from his seat and stared at her for a moment. "I'm going to go get ready. SG-1 is leaving in a couple hours to find the cure so that you can go home and tell this Dominic kid I will come over there and beat the crap out of him if he ever hurts you." She smiled, knowing Jack wouldn't do any such thing. "I'll see you later okay."

She nodded, hoping to convince him she was better. "Okay. I'll be here."

He grinned and left, leaving Cassie to wonder about the last thing she had said to him. She wasn't so sure she would survive long enough. Still, he had made her feel better about Dominic and her friends and that helped a lot. She concentrated on the chess piece that was lying on the table and watched as it rose by itself, slowly spinning over and around, mirroring her thoughts and feelings which were tumbling all over the place. Heat seemed to leave her as the knight twisted and turned in mid air, but her relief stemmed more from Jack's words. He said she was just like everyone else.

The knight faltered a little, but soon spun around again. As long as the others believed it, she would be just fine.