Author's note: my first trigun fanfic/songfic. [Insert the usual
disclaimers]
*drumroll* tadaaaaaa!!!! R/r pleeeeaaase! ^________^
Time of work: 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm; August 8, 2002
Song: A Tout Le Monde by MegadetH
POV of Vash the Stampede
____________________________
$$60,000,000,000 man's epilogue
____________________________
"I'm home..." a soft whisper escaped my tired lips. I opened the oak door, slipping in the house, still wearing the worn-out muddy black boots. My eyes exhaustedly search the house, and the eerie placidness proves that the house is just like an empty grave. I frown, making the wrinkles around my mouth deepen. I finally slump on the floor, all my joints weary - a result from the endless years of cat and mouse play. It's hard to accept that it was almost ten years that have passed...
*Don't remember where I was, I realized life was a game
The more seriously I took things, the harder the rules became
I had no idea what it'd cost, my life passed before my eyes
I found out how little I accomplished, all my plans tonight.*
The years were so painfully good, and I learned to absorb danger, pain and frustration all in a short time. fortunately, I dodged every single opponent, whether strong or weak, destroying their pride in a series of gunshots. I was strong. I thought my life would only revolve on that cycle: Fight, win, run, hide. Until I met them. The shift of the cycle destroyed my stone-hard personality. Unconsciously, I became one of the ordinary people having friends and living their life with their will. Nicolas D. Wolfwood. Meryl Strife. Millie. My friends.
Yet I didn't know all the consequences I will face when I lived by them. They were so unmindingly passionate and kind, that I didn't notice it all at once. Meryl Strife's almost stupid advances deceived me. My friendly gestures deceived them too. I realized I was psychologically counting the days when they're with me... especially her. I was too afraid to lose them.
Meryl Strife is lesbian-like, however turned around when an "affair" was suddenly known by all. My all-too-friendly personality was misinterpreted by them. They thought I like her. She likes me. But I like her as a friend. The people who were chasing me just made the subject more complicated. The meanings were jumbled.
I didn't know all of those mistakes will result to an 'engagement', then to marriage. Much more confusions entered this time, but I can't afford to lose a friend so geniune like Meryl. I wanted her to be happy. So on the day of our marriage, my friends gathered around the altar, including the people chasing me, who were watching if a heartless murderer like me will really marry. Life after that was history. I slept my abilities, I gave up my fighting. I was trying too hard to be serious in our relationship.
I became weak.
My weakness eventually became the people's advantage. They would wait on corners of our house, waiting for me to come out. It was inevitable. I fought them with my remaining ability, with Meryl cheering on my side. They lost, nevertheless, I haven't faced the true guy. One night I found him.
*So as you read this know my friends
I'd love to stay with you all
Please smile when you think of me
My body's gone that's all...*
On that time, my mind was whirling in a terrible nausea caused by the piles of work and problems. Meryl was soon having a child, after our five years of companionship. The outward results were hard to accept. A child was least expected. I reckon my drunk state drove me into doing "it".
I picked up my revolver, trying to steady it. "What do you want?" I've said.
The guy sneered and held the gun straight at my face. "What else? The wealth priced at your head. You didn't get that did you?" he placed his finger on the trigger, ready to release it whenever he wanted. Seconds ticked by.
"I'm not interested," I concluded, lowering the gun. "I'm not the Vash the Stampede you know. Get lost."
"So you're afraid..." and then he pulled the trigger. I didn't know that the bullets were actually sleeping potions. Next thing I knew was waking up in a dirty cell, with wails of Meryl outside.
"He is NOT Vash the Stampede and he will never undergo this stupid treatment! I AM his wife! Listen to me, you idiot!" a slap was heard then silence. Meryl began crying.
Hearing someone fight for me is simply incredible. I was the one who fight for someone, and also cause it. Yet my weak hands testify the epilogue of my previous life. Perhaps the sixty billion double dollar price money was taken away from my label. It was a destruction of pride. It was like karma hitting me: all the people I've defeated getting back on my skin. The cell will rot my weaknesses, along with my body. I never knew if I would blame Meryl for everything. I concluded that it was better living in a cell where your pride is intact, than going out where your ego will dramatically go down.
I stayed there for four years. I am really sure of it. I've counted the days, nights, not knowing the year, the date and the weather. I often hear Meryl shouting outside, pleading on seeing me. I never saw her, not a day on that long year. I lived in darkness, which slowly devoured my soul until I'm too weak to hear and move. Death was like a step away. I would like to step one more, to welcome it.
*A Tout Le Monde, A Tout Mes Amis
Je Vous Aime, Je Dois Partir
These are the last words I'll ever speak
And they'll set me free.*
The days slowed down, the night passed on. I was in the verge of dying. I almost forgot Meryl. I even forgot Nicolas' surname. I focused on my survival, even on sitting or lying in the cold darkness. I entirely forgot that I have a three year old son waiting in our house.
Just when I was sleeping, a strong hand held me and brought me up. I opened my eyes and closed it once again. The sunlight blinded me. I adjusted my sight and focused on my surroundings. I was outside on the ground.
"You fortunate asshole. Someone paid your ransom! But where will you go now? Your lover stopped pissing me off," a huge bodyguard said.
I looked up at him and croaked, "I'm free?" he kicked me on the shin and went away, laughing. I suddenly realized what he had said. Meryl stopped visiting me. What if she found another man? What if she died of grief? What if she was gone?
Then I started the hardest walk I've ever had in my life. My legs were like gelatin, wobbling weak. My whole body felt like ten tons of metal. As I looked at the glasses of the shops I passed, I noticed my face was too foreign. It was so thin, the eyes sunk and my formerly blonde hair was streaked in white. I realized I became old in that cell, passing by the life outside my world. The sixty billion double dollar popular man has disappeared. Nobody knew me now.
*If my heart was still alive, I know it will surely break
And my memories left with you there's nothing more to say
Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard
You know the sleeping feel of no pain
And the living all are scarred*
And now I wait here beside the door for them to come. Did they know? Did they know that I was free? Is this their style of welcoming me? Do they love me still? I felt tears sting my eyes for the first time in my life. The feeling of being alone was simply unbearable. You feel as if you are the only one in the world. Where are they when I desperately needed them? I just experienced dying in a dark cell without anyone else. I gave up all of myself to make Meryl happy. Does she hate me?
My old heart blistered as I started spilling my first tears of agony. I felt the craving of love burn in me. I never loved Meryl, even if I tried to, but it just turned out that I just care for her. Is this another signal of karma? Is she returning to me my indifference of love? If all will be karma, then the only reliever is death. Then I could pay for all I have done. Especially to Meryl and my son. I picked the still shiny revolver. Click. I watched it glint for a while, then pointed it on my heart. One... Two...
BANG!
The door opened abruptly, and Meryl burst in. Her face was old, her breathing coming in pants. Seeing me, she gasped. A smile formed on her face, tears also streaming on her cheeks. Behind her, a small blond appeared, his features greatly resembling the fierce Vash the Stampede.
"You're home!" she exclaimed, opening her arms to hug me. She sobbed and cried, her tears meddling with mine. I dropped the revolver discreetly on my back and encircled my arms on her small body. It was a different feeling. Seeing a person whom you knew for years after a long time makes you love that person more than anyone.
The small boy approached us, his blonde hair sticking out in all directions, reminding me of my past. He spoke. "Daddy..." then with unexplained happiness, he joined our hug.
I will love her. I will love my son. I will not lose them, whatever the cost may be. Somehow this experience strengthened my emotions, basically, appreciation and affection. I constantly reminded myself that I'm not Vash the Stampede. It was all in the past, which is a reminder of all what I am now. Yet this revolver will be kept to remind me of all what I've gone through.
This is my epilogue to my previous life.
I'm starting once again.
Time of work: 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm; August 8, 2002
Song: A Tout Le Monde by MegadetH
POV of Vash the Stampede
____________________________
$$60,000,000,000 man's epilogue
____________________________
"I'm home..." a soft whisper escaped my tired lips. I opened the oak door, slipping in the house, still wearing the worn-out muddy black boots. My eyes exhaustedly search the house, and the eerie placidness proves that the house is just like an empty grave. I frown, making the wrinkles around my mouth deepen. I finally slump on the floor, all my joints weary - a result from the endless years of cat and mouse play. It's hard to accept that it was almost ten years that have passed...
*Don't remember where I was, I realized life was a game
The more seriously I took things, the harder the rules became
I had no idea what it'd cost, my life passed before my eyes
I found out how little I accomplished, all my plans tonight.*
The years were so painfully good, and I learned to absorb danger, pain and frustration all in a short time. fortunately, I dodged every single opponent, whether strong or weak, destroying their pride in a series of gunshots. I was strong. I thought my life would only revolve on that cycle: Fight, win, run, hide. Until I met them. The shift of the cycle destroyed my stone-hard personality. Unconsciously, I became one of the ordinary people having friends and living their life with their will. Nicolas D. Wolfwood. Meryl Strife. Millie. My friends.
Yet I didn't know all the consequences I will face when I lived by them. They were so unmindingly passionate and kind, that I didn't notice it all at once. Meryl Strife's almost stupid advances deceived me. My friendly gestures deceived them too. I realized I was psychologically counting the days when they're with me... especially her. I was too afraid to lose them.
Meryl Strife is lesbian-like, however turned around when an "affair" was suddenly known by all. My all-too-friendly personality was misinterpreted by them. They thought I like her. She likes me. But I like her as a friend. The people who were chasing me just made the subject more complicated. The meanings were jumbled.
I didn't know all of those mistakes will result to an 'engagement', then to marriage. Much more confusions entered this time, but I can't afford to lose a friend so geniune like Meryl. I wanted her to be happy. So on the day of our marriage, my friends gathered around the altar, including the people chasing me, who were watching if a heartless murderer like me will really marry. Life after that was history. I slept my abilities, I gave up my fighting. I was trying too hard to be serious in our relationship.
I became weak.
My weakness eventually became the people's advantage. They would wait on corners of our house, waiting for me to come out. It was inevitable. I fought them with my remaining ability, with Meryl cheering on my side. They lost, nevertheless, I haven't faced the true guy. One night I found him.
*So as you read this know my friends
I'd love to stay with you all
Please smile when you think of me
My body's gone that's all...*
On that time, my mind was whirling in a terrible nausea caused by the piles of work and problems. Meryl was soon having a child, after our five years of companionship. The outward results were hard to accept. A child was least expected. I reckon my drunk state drove me into doing "it".
I picked up my revolver, trying to steady it. "What do you want?" I've said.
The guy sneered and held the gun straight at my face. "What else? The wealth priced at your head. You didn't get that did you?" he placed his finger on the trigger, ready to release it whenever he wanted. Seconds ticked by.
"I'm not interested," I concluded, lowering the gun. "I'm not the Vash the Stampede you know. Get lost."
"So you're afraid..." and then he pulled the trigger. I didn't know that the bullets were actually sleeping potions. Next thing I knew was waking up in a dirty cell, with wails of Meryl outside.
"He is NOT Vash the Stampede and he will never undergo this stupid treatment! I AM his wife! Listen to me, you idiot!" a slap was heard then silence. Meryl began crying.
Hearing someone fight for me is simply incredible. I was the one who fight for someone, and also cause it. Yet my weak hands testify the epilogue of my previous life. Perhaps the sixty billion double dollar price money was taken away from my label. It was a destruction of pride. It was like karma hitting me: all the people I've defeated getting back on my skin. The cell will rot my weaknesses, along with my body. I never knew if I would blame Meryl for everything. I concluded that it was better living in a cell where your pride is intact, than going out where your ego will dramatically go down.
I stayed there for four years. I am really sure of it. I've counted the days, nights, not knowing the year, the date and the weather. I often hear Meryl shouting outside, pleading on seeing me. I never saw her, not a day on that long year. I lived in darkness, which slowly devoured my soul until I'm too weak to hear and move. Death was like a step away. I would like to step one more, to welcome it.
*A Tout Le Monde, A Tout Mes Amis
Je Vous Aime, Je Dois Partir
These are the last words I'll ever speak
And they'll set me free.*
The days slowed down, the night passed on. I was in the verge of dying. I almost forgot Meryl. I even forgot Nicolas' surname. I focused on my survival, even on sitting or lying in the cold darkness. I entirely forgot that I have a three year old son waiting in our house.
Just when I was sleeping, a strong hand held me and brought me up. I opened my eyes and closed it once again. The sunlight blinded me. I adjusted my sight and focused on my surroundings. I was outside on the ground.
"You fortunate asshole. Someone paid your ransom! But where will you go now? Your lover stopped pissing me off," a huge bodyguard said.
I looked up at him and croaked, "I'm free?" he kicked me on the shin and went away, laughing. I suddenly realized what he had said. Meryl stopped visiting me. What if she found another man? What if she died of grief? What if she was gone?
Then I started the hardest walk I've ever had in my life. My legs were like gelatin, wobbling weak. My whole body felt like ten tons of metal. As I looked at the glasses of the shops I passed, I noticed my face was too foreign. It was so thin, the eyes sunk and my formerly blonde hair was streaked in white. I realized I became old in that cell, passing by the life outside my world. The sixty billion double dollar popular man has disappeared. Nobody knew me now.
*If my heart was still alive, I know it will surely break
And my memories left with you there's nothing more to say
Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard
You know the sleeping feel of no pain
And the living all are scarred*
And now I wait here beside the door for them to come. Did they know? Did they know that I was free? Is this their style of welcoming me? Do they love me still? I felt tears sting my eyes for the first time in my life. The feeling of being alone was simply unbearable. You feel as if you are the only one in the world. Where are they when I desperately needed them? I just experienced dying in a dark cell without anyone else. I gave up all of myself to make Meryl happy. Does she hate me?
My old heart blistered as I started spilling my first tears of agony. I felt the craving of love burn in me. I never loved Meryl, even if I tried to, but it just turned out that I just care for her. Is this another signal of karma? Is she returning to me my indifference of love? If all will be karma, then the only reliever is death. Then I could pay for all I have done. Especially to Meryl and my son. I picked the still shiny revolver. Click. I watched it glint for a while, then pointed it on my heart. One... Two...
BANG!
The door opened abruptly, and Meryl burst in. Her face was old, her breathing coming in pants. Seeing me, she gasped. A smile formed on her face, tears also streaming on her cheeks. Behind her, a small blond appeared, his features greatly resembling the fierce Vash the Stampede.
"You're home!" she exclaimed, opening her arms to hug me. She sobbed and cried, her tears meddling with mine. I dropped the revolver discreetly on my back and encircled my arms on her small body. It was a different feeling. Seeing a person whom you knew for years after a long time makes you love that person more than anyone.
The small boy approached us, his blonde hair sticking out in all directions, reminding me of my past. He spoke. "Daddy..." then with unexplained happiness, he joined our hug.
I will love her. I will love my son. I will not lose them, whatever the cost may be. Somehow this experience strengthened my emotions, basically, appreciation and affection. I constantly reminded myself that I'm not Vash the Stampede. It was all in the past, which is a reminder of all what I am now. Yet this revolver will be kept to remind me of all what I've gone through.
This is my epilogue to my previous life.
I'm starting once again.