Fandom:Lost
TitleWhen Ana Died
Rating:
PG-13
Pairing: Mentions of Sawyer/Jack a bit of
Libby/Mistereko if you squint.
Summary: When Ana-Lucia
dies, no one is really surprised.
Notes: Written for
lostfichallenge.
Disclaimer:
I don't own Lost or any of its characters.
When Ana Died
When Ana-Lucia dies, no one is really surprised. No one but Jack, anyway.
One bullet to the brain, Sayid said, touching her arm; not even that could kill someone who was already dead.
"She seemed too strong to die," Kate said as they buried her, but she understands what it's like to have the island drive you mad.
x
Sawyer found her, and three weeks later he's still groaning about how unfair it was that as soon as he was up an about he had to stumble on that. When Jack touches Sawyer's hair and face and skin at night, when he looks into his eyes, he knows that this is just more pain he has to hide.
If Jack had known what was going on in Ana's head, he might have been able to do something to fix her.
"That's stupid," says Kate, looking at Jack disapprovingly, "You always think that you can make everything, everyone better, Jack. But that's not true."
As usual, he nods his head, goes through the motions like he's trained himself to do, but he knows that Kate's wrong—that he was just too preoccupied with himself, and with everyone else, to notice that Ana-Lucia was losing her mind.
x
You could count the people who spent time in general with Ana-Lucia on one hand, so imagine how many were with her during the days when she was most withdrawn.
The ones that were with her in the days right before it happened—Libby, Mistereko, Bernard, and Locke, who likes to play psychologist to anyone he can—say that she talked about babies, asked where hers was.
"She said she didn't have any children." Libby said with confusion.
Sawyer snorted, "On this island, just because you say one thing don't mean it's true."
x
She ran into the jungle the night before she killed herself. Ran as hard and fast as she could, screaming an unfamiliar name. Sayid grabbed her legs until she fell, still screaming.
Never once did Ana-Lucia mistake Aaron for her own child, and for that Claire was grateful. As she heard Ana-Lucia scream, Claire clutched Aaron closer to her.
x
"The island drove her bloody mad," Charlie whispered, more to himself than anyone else. No one argued with him.
"That's what she gets for killing Shannon. She had it coming to her, the Island was just waiting to deliver it." Someone said bitterly; there were a few hushed protests, but the statement was heavy in the air and was to stay on everyone's mind for months after Ana died.
x
They had their final drink, Jack thinks. They had their final drink, and she died. How fitting that he should have kept his promise.
If Mystery is the islands first name, than Irony must be its second. Charlie thinks Fate is the third.
x
"Personally," Libby confides to Kate, "I think it's best that she's gone. Ana scared me sometimes. If you ask me, she'd already lost it long before she even crashed on this island."
"What are you, some sort of psychologist?" Kate snorts.
"Yes, actually."
"Oh," Kate says, "Then maybe we could talk sometime?"
"Sure," Libby laughs, and Kate offers a small smile; this is the first time she can remember…bonding with one of the tail survivors. It's a shame it took till one of them died, but maybe Ana-Lucia was the reason for the rift between the two groups.
Kate decides that she'll have to discuss this in her first therapy session.
x
Sawyer isn't sure whether to rejoice or mimic Jack's somber mood. When he first met her, he thought Ana-Lucia had hot lips and could be pretty damn beautiful if she had a decent shower and lost some of her psycho-bitch attitude. It might have been a little hot if the circumstances had been different (read: He hadn't just pulled a fucking bullet out of his arm and she hadn't insisted on stomping on it. Bitch.) But he hadn't really liked her all that much.
It's not like he ever warmed up to her, but it's not like he still hates her. Resents? Yeah, a little bit. She was going to just leave him to die, as Jack sometimes mutters to himself sounding scared and angry all at once.
"How'd you find out about that?" Sawyer had asked the first time Jack had brushed a hand over his hair and said that.
"She told me."
"She told you that?" Sawyer repeated incredulously. "Why on earth would she do a thing like that?"
Jack had just shrugged.
To tell the truth, Sawyer sometimes thought that Jack didn't resent her enough. He seemed to have some strange, misplaced soft-spot for Ana-Lucia, and there were times Sawyer would see them talking on the beach, and he'd consider joining them, but then think better of it. Which was stupid because why should he feel like he was intruding?
Sawyer has loved very few people in his life. Love is such a…not strong word, but one that always reminds him of an ill-fitting suit. He's always looked good in a suit, but he's never much liked them in the first place. So he's not sure if he loves Jack or not, but he certainly feels something twist inside him when he sees Jack with someone else.
It doesn't bother him as much, now, when Jack and Kate are together, because he's a little bit—well, not in love—infatuated with both of them, and he knows that he's gotten more from Jack than Kate has and vice versa, so as long as they don't start fucking behind is back, he's fine.
Jack and Ana-Lucia, however, were a different story.
But she's dead now, so what point is there in dwelling?
x
"Are you hungry?" Jack had asked, sitting down on the sand beside Ana. The part of the beach that she always seemed to be occupying was in its usual state of empty.
"No," She said, sparing him a glance. "I'm fine. Thanks." The hard edge to her words had lessened slightly in the weeks that she'd been there, but it was still noticeably there.
"You need to eat something," Jack insisted, "I know you're uncomfortable eating with everyone else, so I brought you some fish—but I think you should know that over there? They all forgive you," He wasn't sure if that was true, but sometimes you need to bend the truth in order to make things right, "they know what happened with Shannon was an accident. If they start to get to know you, soon it'll all be a distant memory."
Shaking her head, she said quietly, "If you knew, you wouldn't be so nice to me."
"Knew what?"
"I was going to leave him for dead. Your boyfriend? I didn't give a shit whether he lived or died. He was just a thorn in my side, an asshole who could have cost me and my people our lives."
Jack wasn't sure if he flinched more at the word boyfriend or at what she was saying.
"I killed that girl, and I almost killed him. I tortured Sayid. There's not much I've done right with your people."
Jack didn't know what to say, so he said nothing at all.
That was three weeks before she died.
x
Mistereko was silent after they found the body. Libby sometimes went to sit with him and curled a hand around his arm, but he never once spoke, and she was content to sit in silence.
Libby felt as though they shared something, and she wanted to hold onto it before it faded away like so much had in her life before. She gripped his arm tighter when that thought came to her.
x
The funeral had been a quiet one, slightly awkward in that space of time where someone was supposed to say a few words for Ana-Lucia. It ended up being Libby since Mistereko refused to speak.
"Ana was a good woman. Sometimes she let her emotions take over, sometimes she was too impulsive, but she kept us," She gestured between herself, Mistereko, and Bernard, "she kept us alive and safe. We owed her our lives."
No one cried, and very few visited her grave, but like all the other deaths, hers was not forgotten.
"Beware of the island," Charlie jokingly cautions from time to time, but no one ever really laughs.
End