A/n: This one-shot was inspired by a piece of fan art by The Cheshire Cheese (lizzychrome on Deviant Art) which put me in mind to re-watch the episode 'Nemesis' S04xE04 and this story was born. It can be taken as part of my additional scenes series, after 'Linger' but before 'True Love', 'Solitary People' etc.
The Doctor sighed solemnly as he ran the tricorder over Chakotay's head for one final, conclusive scan, seeing as he did so that the normally unflappable Commander flinched back warily, though he tried to hide it as the Captain watched him with intent concern. He hadn't seen the man this shook up since he'd walked into Sickbay over a year ago now to view Seska's corpse, and even then he hadn't seemed so lost. Exchanging another glance with the Captain, who nodded subtly, he began the expected diagnosis with Chakotay's fear enlarged dark eyes on him. "My guess is the Vori used a combination of mind control techniques including photometric projections, heightened emotional stimuli and highly sophisticated psychotropic manipulation." He pressed his lips together as he felt a disturbed admiration for the complexity of the process. It wasn't a new feeling, reviewing the assimilation process Seven of Nine had gone through brought out similar horrors. "From the condition of your hypothalamus, I'd say they had you so mixed up they could have convinced you your own mother was a turnip."
His heavy handed attempt at lightening the mood fell flat in bad taste, but Chakotay only narrowed his eyes at him in distaste for a moment before the dark eyes clouded with uneasy disbelief, even as he looked to his Captain expecting confirmation. "So everything I experienced was some sort of simulation?" His low voice dropped further with the weight of doubt, but Janeway nodded to him with certainty.
"Except for the battle you were fighting when Tuvok found you." She answered with a grim frown, "Apparently, attacking the simulated commandant marked your graduation from basic training."
She knew him well enough by now to see that he wasn't entirely convinced, at least not emotionally, and his next question confirmed it. "And the men I fought beside…none of them were real? Namon and Rafin weren't killed in front of me?"
She allowed herself a small, sympathetic sigh for him. "As far as we can tell, they were part of the simulation. The idea was to make you bond with your fellow soldiers, as well as the villagers, so their deaths would enrage you."
Chakotay shifted off the biobed in one supple movement, gaining his usual height over her. Thankfully his physical injuries had been minor, if Tuvok and the Kradin had found him any later… "Why me?" he asked shortly.
"Luck of the draw." Janeway answered swiftly, then realised a little too late as Chakotay stared down at her that she'd said it a second too quickly, too conveniently, and he knew it. She hastened to explain, "You were passing through and you were as promising a recruit as anyone else. We've been told the Vori have dozens of these facilities, where they conscript their own people and any aliens they're able to capture." That was what they'd been told, she was telling him the truth, there was little point in repeating Ambassador Treen's unproven conjecture that the Vori probed their victims' minds to find the scenario they'd be most susceptible to. Chakotay had been a Maquis, a guerrilla leader convinced he was preventing injustice, why wouldn't the Vori use that? It was more that plausible that the Vori had teased out emotions from his own memories of conflict to bind him to their own. The Doctor had pretty much confirmed that his Maquis background, as well as his underlying wider belief system, had to have played a factor, may slow down his recovery from the psychosis, but it wouldn't help telling him that. How was she to know that the Vori wouldn't have stirred up her own feelings of protectiveness of her crew, her fear of the Borg, the Viidians, the Kazon, if they'd switched places?
"In short Commander…" The Doctor began to clarify, "You've been subjected to a highly sophisticated form of propaganda."
Emotion finally began to seep through the cracks in Chakotay's denial, but his voice was laced with angry defensiveness as well as weakening disbelief, "Then the Kradin don't kill innocent civilians?" he asked darkly, "They don't desecrate the Vori's dead?"
"I don't know." Janeway replied honestly, "But the Kradin accuse the Vori of the same kinds of atrocities." She reminded him in a level voice; surely he remembered now that that was how war always worked?
"I cared about the Vori." Chakotay admitted emphatically, confusion and resignation only crossing his face as he added simply, "But I hated the Kradin." He swallowed slightly in realisation, "I wanted to kill every one of them."
The Captain raised her head to hold his errant, unnerved gaze. "Evidently that was the point."
At that moment Sickbay's doors slid open and she saw Chakotay give a start, like a wild animal. She thought his addled head had just amplified the noise, but as she turned her head to look herself she saw that Neelix had entered with the Kradin Ambassador politely behind him. "Captain, Ambassador Treen would like to have a word with the Commander." Neelix reported, though she heard his own sharp gasp of trepidation echoing her own as Treen approached Chakotay.
"Commander, I wish to tell you how pleased our people are to hear of your recovery." Treen spoke with the same courteous amiability that had made the Captain like him, "I'm only sorry we weren't able to rescue you sooner from our nemesis." That last word seemed to flip what had been a shorting out circuit in Chakotay's brain. His face turned thunderous as his jaw locked, she could see his hands twitching reflexively for the trigger of his Vori rifle. Shock sent a warning chill down Janeway's back, she'd never seen him so filled with hate, it radiated off him in waves. Despite his Maquis record, she'd never known him to be anything but a peace loving, compromising man, sometimes to her frustration, but it had earned her admiration more than once too. His reaction to Seska, even the Borg drones, had been less visceral than this. Even Treen, who was a stranger to Chakotay, picked up on his, his small eyes in a muddled face swerving to hers for reassurance, "Have I said something wrong?"
"I don't know." Neelix replied uncertainly as he watched the Captain recoil from Chakotay ever so slightly in disappointment, even a little disgust.
If Chakotay noticed her expression, or had even heard the exchange, he gave no sign of it as he barrelled for the door. "If you'll excuse me Captain."
It was evident that she didn't, for after barely pausing to give the perplexed Kradin man an apologetic glance, she was on his heels. "Chakotay…" She began, careful to keep her voice low since they were barely out of Sickbay but unable to keep the harsh disillusionment with him out of her tone even as she was uncertain of what to say.
Chakotay pre-empted her and spun on his heel to face her, stopping them both in their tracks. He was breathing hard. "I wish it were as easy to stop hating as it was to start." He told her resignedly, but with a sharp edge to his voice warning her off. That painful admission stumped her to the point where she could say nothing to deny it and so escaped it by returning to Sickbay as quickly as she'd followed him. The silence hurt more than anything she could've said, the abandonment even worse. Yet he left her to that decision and continued down the corridor, mind reeling.
Nemesis. Why had that motherless beast had to use that word? He'd been in control until then, able to try to ignore the reddish dreadlocks that may have been dyed so by Vori blood, able to avoid looking at the Grim Reaper armoured colours of black he wore… How could the Vori earn that title? Who'd ambushed Namon and Rafin, the 7th and 4th contingents? Who'd nullified Prenno and enslaved Karya? No, none of them had been real, a figment of his imagination, as likely as his mother being a turnip apparently. Had they existed once? Had Brone been a flesh and blood soldier, there to study his fall into the depths of delusion until he was ready to believe and act on it? He didn't hate Brone, couldn't, but if he'd had a weapon in his hands in that Sickbay he would've taken grim satisfaction, even pleasure, in nullifying that Kradin monster who'd tricked his crew, Starfleet colours or no Starfleet colours. His anger pressed into his chest as if he were still tied to the ground, but a horrific knowledge of the bloody trail of his own thoughts made him fight it. Why hadn't he questioned everything? The Vori had been human to his eyes, it was impossible that two humanoid species on the same planet had evolved so differently, maybe his crew would see the Vori and the Kradin as one and the same. But he couldn't…
He was so lost in the tumult of his thoughts that he realised he was on the verge of colliding with someone just as he caught them moving aside out of the corner of his eye. It was Seven of Nine. He took a staggered step back from her, though she'd already gilded to a stop to end the risk of collision. Standing in front of him in that silver 'biosuit', it seemed as if she'd been moulded from molten metal into a deceptive avatar of a human woman. With the helmet of golden hair atop that silver armour, she could've been a surreal modern equivalent of an icy Viking war goddess. Not a goddess, a Valkyrie. Her cold, eerily penetrating eyes had that quality of fearless judgement and revenge those mythical creatures were known for as she stared at him unblinkingly. "Commander."
"What are you doing here?" Chakotay demanded. He knew he sounded irrational, was projecting his confused, hateful feelings onto her, but just then he didn't care. The last thing he needed right now was a reminder of his misuse of mercy, or lack of it; he'd yet to decide whether to regret trying to kill her or being involved in 'freeing' her.
Most people would've reacted to his tone, that would've been normal and he actually would've been glad to see it, but Seven responded as if the question had been entirely expected as well as neutral. "I am going to Sickbay to undergo a maintenance check." Chakotay couldn't help but frown at her wording, even as a little sympathy seeped in. She wasn't confined to the Cargo Bay as she had been in the Brig, except perhaps by her own mind. He certainly hadn't seen her since that stilted apology to Harry that had been instructed by the Captain, this might have been her first time wandering the decks unaccompanied. She was studying him intently, as if she'd never seen him before, and he tensed further, if Seven could tell something about him had changed… "You are disturbed by the presence of the Kradin Ambassador." She stated abruptly as she started on her way again, apparently satisfied that she'd answered whatever question she'd had about him.
Chakotay's senses and reflexes had been sharpened by days of jungle warfare and he managed to snatch her elbow, grimacing as he felt the implants prominent under the biosuit. "How do you know about that? Did someone…" He trailed off as she gazed at him impassively, "Wait, you would've known about the Vori and the Kradin wouldn't you?"
Seven nodded the affirmative. "Two political factions of Species 310."
Chakotay thrust her arm away from him. "If you knew there was a civil war going on in this region, why didn't you warn us?" he snapped.
"I was not consulted about the proposed flight path of your survey mission Commander, nor about any deviations from that route Commander." Seven pointed out matter-of-factly, utterly nonplussed by the near accusation. Chakotay had to give her that one. "The conflict is a planetary one that has no effect beyond that planet's orbit; it is irrelevant to the Borg. The resources they dispute are minimal, their technology unremarkable…"
"Irrelevant?!" Chakotay spat out, "You call bloody guerrilla warfare, the massacring of innocent civilians, irrelevant?"
"Those actions are prevalent in every conflict Commander." Seven reminded him, unmoved.
"I suppose your solution to that would be assimilation?" Chakotay asked caustically.
Her gaze hardened further as she answered, succinctly and unapologetically. "Yes." She paused, the implant that had consumed her eyebrow twitching upwards. "If you had not become accidently involved in the conflict, it would be irrelevant to you also." Her tone became if not thoughtful, then at least questioning, "It seems to be the consensus on board that the Vori deserve your ire rather than the Kradin."
Chakotay noticed that she'd deliberately not put an 'I think' in that question, and sighed bitterly as he stared her down, "I would've thought you of all people would've understood the concept of brainwashing." He retorted in resentful disbelief, wondering as he gazed at her where the little girl he'd remembered with her, the idea of a human woman he'd glimpsed, had gone. Crushed by the Collective. Or maybe just a ghost he'd dreamt up to help him cope with the trauma of the link, she certainly wasn't standing before him now.
Her flinty eyes flared, glinting at him like uncut, impenetrable diamonds. "Perhaps not." She said icily, "But then you should understand that this hate will not fade, you will merely be expected to adapt to it being there, as I am expected to adapt to this imperfect existence."
The Captain's voice behind him made him shiver, reinforcing Seven's perceptive, brutal words, 'expected to adapt'. "Chakotay?" Janeway looked worried as he flinched, "I just took leave of Ambassador Treen, with all our thanks. "We'll be leaving orbit within the hour." She patted his shoulder awkwardly as her attention moved to Seven, "You look tired Seven." She said in concern, "Are you feeling alright?"
As the drone tilted her head in what Chakotay recognised as a gesture of acknowledgement, he saw that she did indeed look…off, her skin almost as pale as when she'd been overwhelmed with implants, although 'tired' was a bit of a stretch. After the brief flame of emotion she'd directed his way, she now betrayed nothing. "I am scheduled to attend a maintenance check with the Doctor Captain."
"Good, good." The Captain said approvingly, "But remember Seven, you're not confined to the Cargo Bay, feel free to explore your new home when you feel up to it." She smiled encouragingly and Seven appeared to become as submissive as her pride and dignity would allow her.
"As you wish Captain." She agreed quietly before in the next second she swept inside Sickbay without so much as a by your leave to either of them.
Janeway turned to Chakotay again, her carefully reproving look telling him she'd thought over what he'd said. "Chakotay, I've never known you to be anything but patient and kind, even to those who don't deserve it, extend some of that goodwill to Seven now." Her expression became thoughtful, "She could learn a great deal from how you cope with what you've just been through."
Chakotay blinked in surprise, wondering if she'd caught the tail end of his and Seven's exchange, or was psychic. That wasn't what he'd been expecting her to say. "I know…" He admitted mutedly, "It's just that she…" He caught himself just in time to stop himself from saying that the woman gave him the coward's trembles and the soldier's rages all at once, "…gets under my skin a little, that's all."
Janeway nodded even as her eyebrows rose, "She's only been free of the Collective for two weeks, that's expected." She conceded, "But who says it's always a bad thing? My closest friends are always those who can provoke me a little, get me out of my comfort zone."
"Getting too provoked is dangerous Kathryn." Chakotay replied somewhat cryptically, his expression unreadable. Janeway had to wonder if he was thinking of his recent experience, Seska, or Seven herself. Maybe she was thinking too deeply, she'd learned that Chakotay's default stance was defensive in everything, emotionally as well as in command. His fear of her emotional instincts had caused most of their conflict. Maybe he and Seven weren't so different after all.
"We won't push her beyond her limits." She assured him, "But Seven's proven herself a strong woman already just by being here."
"She'll need to be stronger than the rest of us." Chakotay answered quietly. She'll need to be stronger than me, he added silently.
A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! :D Thanks to The Cheshire Cheese for allowing me to use the fan art as this story's profile picture. Do check it out in full though, she has a hilarious description to go with it on Deviant Art. Obviously not as angsty as this story, lol.