For the HPFC challenge Daily prompts from the Mods
Prompt : ''You are inadequate and stupid and a disgrace to your profession"
Today, Minerva McGonagall's day had started wrong, just plain wrong. When she had sat up in her bed in the morning, and went to fetch her eyeglasses from the night table, it was just to discover they were missing. She moved to exit her bed but she felt her skin was itching, she looked down at her body to see she had once again forgotten to change to her pyjamas before falling asleep, her clothes were always so heavy and uncomfortable that every time she did that she cursed herself because in the morning she would wake up feeling stiff and un-rested.
She muttered wizard swears under her breath (leprechaun's taint, expecto-patronads) before leaning to pick up her black work shoes, she tried to attach her laces but they broke in her hands.
"Grrrr" She gave up on her shoes and put a spell on them to keep them closed without the laces. She stood up and made her way towards the kitchenette of her quarters. When she opened the fridge, she saw her pair of glasses in the compartment normally intended to put butter. "Am I becoming nuts or what?" the old professor asked herself before putting her frozen spectacles back on her pointy noise.
She opened her favourite tea box and saw there were no more leaves in it. Without her morning tea she would be ruined for the day, for sure. She decided to call up on the elves but when she did a note appeared instead from thin air : "Due to pressure applied on the Hogwarts administration by the Elf protection group orchestrated by Head girl Miss Hermione Granger, every Monday of the term will now be holiday for every Hogwarts house-elf, Thank you for your understanding. The Hogwarts Kitchens"
That was mostly unwelcome in the Deputy Headmistress' opinion. "Having such brains and ruining it on elves" she muttered, thinking about the ideological brunette. She rummaged in her cupboards to find tea again. When she looked for it in the cupboard under the sink, she lowered her head in it and when she stood up straight she hit her head harshly under it. "Holy daughter of Morgan, that hurts!", her use of bad language would soon be threatening to soil her impeccable reputation.
You can imagine now how her day had been starting just so wrong. That would explain why she came barging into the Staff room after giving up on making herself breakfast after three burnt omelettes and a bowl of drenched mud-like cereals. It was just too bad for Filius and Pomona, the old married couple of teachers who had been snogging in a corner of the room with cups of boiling coffee. The problem is that they had taken her corner, where she usually read the morning newspapers.
-Filius! Pomona! she exclaimed, her Scottish temper surfacing.
The couple jumped up all the way to the ceiling.
-You both are totally inadequate right now! What if a student had come here to bring you a message? Your cover would be forever lost! Gossip flies like a Nimbus 2010 in here! Get a room! Oh, how scandalous!
She re-barged out of the room, almost making the door shatter to pieces.
-PMS, Filius simply muttered, his wife elbowing him in response.
…
A few minutes later, Minerva McGonagall, deputy headmistress had decided she would take a turn in the common rooms she had to watch over. She felt like she had to use her nerves on someone and she thought students messing around would be even better than members of the staff.
She just saw Hermione Granger in the common room. She was sitting at a desk with a pile of notebooks that belonged to Ronald Weasley and a mess of papers belonging to Mr Potter.
Minerva pulled on the neck of her itchy woollen robes and tapped Hermione's shoulder with her wand, making her turn around anxiously.
-Miss Granger, will you ever stop doing your friends homework? I'm not an idiot you know, I can recognize when you are the one writing them, you are after all my best student! Until you stop taking blame for their retard in class I fear I will have to withdraw you from your Head girl's duties, which means : no holidays for the House elves anymore, also. Good Bye Miss Granger.
Hermione was shocked and did not answer, watching the Highland storm walking fast out of the common room.
Along the way to the courtyard where she wanted to get fresh air to calm herself, Minerva used simple charms to tighten all the ties of the students that came across her in the corridors and to lengthen the girls' skirts by a good foot. Decency was one of her number one rules around the school and she did not feel like turning a blind eye this time. Everything seemed wrong and she was working to make everything perfect again! She had to.
Crossing the field in front of the castle, she saw Madam Hooch in her referee costume, outside with two groups of students from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw playing a game of Quidditch. The Ravenclaw chaser had just made a goal but Madam Hooch had not seen it and said it did not count. The chaser was yelling that he put it in and Hooch gave him a red card and told him to go on the bench for the rest of the game.
Minerva felt anger ascending once again and pounding at her temples.
-Hooch! Did you not see this student scored? His whole team said so. You are a disgrace to your profession!
Minerva stormed on and left towards the castle, leaving a stunned Hooch in her wake.
So many things were going terribly wrong in this institution, Minerva thought, fuming. She would have to report that to the Headmaster immediately.
She did not bother to knock before entering Dumblie's office.
-Headmaster, you will not believe what I…
She stopped her sentence halfway through.
Albus Dumbledore was playing a swashbuckling game named Pirates of the Carribean III on a Wii in his living room. He held a remote control in his old-wrinkled hand and jumped from side to side trying to avoid the attacks of an octopus haired pirate monster, throwing himself forward when he wanted to riposte and giggling like a child opening his Christmas presents the whole time, still in his pink fluffy nightgown.
-ALBUS DUMBLEDORE! What in Merlin's underwater dragon's name are you doing?
-Alas, you would like to know so you could try yourself wouldn't you? Oh dear, I'm playing this wonderful game Arthur just brought me. It is brilliant! Muggles are brilliant!
-Albus, You are inadequate and stupid and and and… a disgrace to your profession. I will have your resignation on my desk as Headmaster AND Husband by seven a.m. tomorrow, understood ?
Minerva fled her husband's room mumbling about crazy old sorcerers. The spell she had put on her shoes went off and she got entangled in her shoe laces and fell face down in front of the gargoyle at the exit. The portrait of Salazar Slytherin winked at her. This was definitely the worst day of her life.