Notes
I've read through Chamber of Secrets again and gained a new appreciation for the strength Ginny displayed during that book.
Otherwise, the usual: original works not mine, no beta.
She had worried all summer. No, for more than that. She worried all the time. It had gone on for so long she didn't remember not worrying.
When she was little, it was 'what if she was the only one of her siblings not to get in Hogwarts?' It wasn't a matter of money. She knew her parents saved all the money they could so they could pay all of their tuition fees. What she had been terrified of was discovering she was a squib, like her mother's second cousin.
Even though her family was more open than most, no-one ever wanted to talk to him or invite him anywhere. She had never seen him. She hadn't even known his name until last year. She vaguely knew her Mom kept contact with him through letters but that was it. Not even her father who loved everything Muggle wanted to interact with him. She didn't want to finish like that, shunned or forgotten by all.
When her magic had manifested to her great relief, her worries had changed. What if she never managed to be at least as good as her brothers while at Hogwarts? They already had done everything.
Bill was a talented curse-breaker, had gotten a prestigious post at Gringotts, and was travelling the world.
Charlie was living his passion in the biggest dragon reserve of Europe.
Percy was well on his way to become Head Boy next year and had the highest grades anyone in the family had ever managed to get in Hogwarts.
Fred and George were creative and knew so many things with magic. Though they hid it well, they spent far more time working on their school work than they let on so they had really good grades. She knew it because they had sworn her to secrecy when she had caught them studying potion books they had 'borrowed' from the school's library one summer night.
Last year had been Ron's turn to go to Hogwarts. She had hoped a bit selfishly he wouldn't have been as brilliant as all of their older brothers. It would have lessened the pressure to be as good as them all and given her some more space to step out of their shadows. But he had done extraordinary things all year long. He had managed to become the Boy-Who-Lived's best friend and he went on a dangerous adventure with him. He had sacrificed himself so his friends could stop an evil wizard from stealing a powerful object hidden in the castle. Albus Dumbledore had singled him out to congratulate him in front of the entire school. How could she hope to compete with that?
She felt a twinge of guilt at that thought. She remembered all too well how their Mom had spent an entire night staring the enchanted family clock, how she had refused to move and barely blinked while Ron's clock hand kept oscillating wildly between 'school' and 'mortal peril'. She hadn't moved until the clock hand had settled on 'school' for good. She didn't want to worry her Mom like that. She had been so afraid for him, she had berated him for hours on end when he had come back, hugging him every few breaths to tell him how proud of him she was and how incredibly brave he had been.
.
She didn't feel like a brave person. To her great shame, she had proved she wasn't one all summer long.
She had always wanted to meet Harry Potter. Her Mom had told her so many bedtime stories about him and how he had defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. She and Ron had talked about their dreams of befriending him since they had realized he would be in Ron's year.
Last year, Ron went to Hogwarts.
Last year, Ron met Harry Potter, became best friends with him, and they had spent all their time together.
This summer, she'd had her chance so introduce herself to him. Ron, Fred, and George had retrieved Harry from his family so he could spend the summer with them. She had helped them sneak out that night and had distracted their Mom for as long as she could when they had triggered the ward Dad had put around the car.
During the time it had taken George to fly the Ford Anglia to Surrey and back to the Burrow, she had allowed herself to dream about living with Harry Potter. Unfortunately, reality had been far drearier. She had squandered every opportunity to get to know him. The moment he had stepped through the door, she had hidden in her room. After that first shameful bout of cowardice, she had made a fool of herself every time she had gathered the strength to go out until the point she hadn't wanted to leave her bedroom at all.
It wasn't even Harry's fault! He was a kind person: one morning, she had panicked when it had looked like he was going to talk to her and had smashed her elbow in the butter. But instead of bringing everyone's attention to her clumsiness like her brothers would have done, he had pretended he hadn't seen anything and had even discreetly given her his towel to help her wipe the butter off her skin.
.
Ever since the train had departed from the station and she had lost sight of her mother, she had been mulling over her lack of bravery this summer. It had been her first real opportunity to show she had her place in Gryffindor and she had failed.
What if she didn't go to Gryffindor? Would her parents and siblings still love her if she broke the centuries long tradition of Gryffindor Weasleys? Sometimes, she thought they only loved her because she was a girl.
She was so afraid one day, her parents would see the only thing she had going for her was that she was the girl they had hoped to have for so long. She knew she wasn't particularly talented at anything and she had no doubts Hogwarts would prove that. They were going to be so disappointed when they realized how wrong everyone had been when they kept telling her parents they had been blessed by Fate because after seven generations where the Weasleys had only been boys, their seventh child had been a girl. Sometimes, the expectations felt like too much.
Worse than being found unworthy of having a place in Gryffindor was the thought she would get there by mistake. What if she couldn't live up to her family's legacy and everyone saw she had been sorted in Gryffindor without truly being one?
She knew it was a possibility. She had begged Ron to tell her how the Houses were chosen until he had given in and admitted it was a singing hat that chose so for a handful of seconds, she had entertained the thought of asking it to put her in her family's House before deciding she wouldn't. She would go where she was supposed to.
Perhaps it would assume she was like her brothers and place her in Gryffindor without her having earned her place there though. Ron had confided in her the Hat hadn't paid a lot of attention to him. It had just told him something like 'another Weasley! I know what to do with you', and placed him in Gryffindor. She didn't want her sorting to look like that. As much as she dreaded the thought of being sorted in another House, the only thing she dreaded more was being sorted in Gryffindor while not deserving it.
.
Her worries had been at their peak when her Hogwarts letter had arrived and they went to Diagon Alley to buy her stuff.
That was the moment her Dad had proved he had noticed her anxiety in his own way. He knew she was starting Hogwarts so she had become a big girl: old enough to live without her parents for ten months, old enough to stand on her own. So he knew he shouldn't overtly comfort her anymore. Instead, even though money was tight, her Dad had specially bought her her Diary and discreetly hid it with the rest of her school stuff for her to find. He had found her a companion only for her.
Meeting Tom had been scary at first because he was a real person trapped in a diary but she had reassured herself with the thought her Dad wouldn't have given her anything dangerous.
She had quickly warmed up to him, he was such a wonderful person, always willing to listen to her and give her advice. She couldn't understand why He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had trapped him into a diary.
Of course, he hadn't told her that at first but during the month she'd had him, they had become each other's best friend and confident. She had never had that before: a person who was there only for her. She loved her brothers, but they were always here and Ottery St Catchpole was a very small place so aside from the Diggorys and the Lovegoods, there was no-one for her to meet. Luna was alright she supposed. But Tom was the best. And the first friend who was wholly hers. She knew it was selfish, but she didn't want to share him. She was afraid he would like her brothers better. So she had kept his existence quiet and she had been grateful to her Dad for not saying anything either. It was their secret.
One evening, Tom had even suggested that maybe her Dad had specifically given her the diary because he had seen how much she doubted her ability to be brave. So he had given her a chance to prove she was as good as her brothers because he knew that together, they would find a way to free him from the Diary. She was grateful her Dad had given her the chance to have her own Hogwarts adventure alongside a friend. His faith in her combined with Tom's had made her feel stronger and she had let go of most of her worry to simply enjoy the idea she was finally going to learn magic for real soon.
.
All of that led her here, sitting at the back of the Hogwarts Express with Luna. Though she was a bit odd, she was fundamentally nice and didn't mind sharing a quiet train ride while she wrote to Tom. At first, Ginny had wanted to find Ron, Harry, and Hermione to ask if she could share the compartment with them, but she hadn't dared to ask and she hadn't wanted to leave Luna alone.
In the end, she didn't mind so much. Luna's quiet confidence their sortings would go well was comforting. Tom had also spent a lot of time reassuring her she would go where she was supposed to.
If you are really afraid, there might be a way for me to accompany you during the sorting. To give you strength.
Tom's beautiful cursive had slowly appeared on the page, as if he was debating whether he should be telling her this or not.
Really Tom? How?
She grimaced, glad Tom couldn't see her. No matter how much she tried and how many tips Tom kindly gave her, her penmanship stubbornly refused to improve. It remained too uneven. Tom told her if she kept practising, she would eventually manage to write as well as him though, so she kept doing just that. His advice had never led her astray before.
It's not dangerous at all. In fact, I'm not even sure it'll do anything. I do not want to disappoint you if nothing happens.
Tom stopped writing and Ginny's breath caught in her throat. Tom was rarely uncertain of anything though when he was, he always told her. That was one of the reasons she trusted him so much, he was always honest with her.
It would be a way to bind us together, to strengthen our friendship. I want to become an even better friend to you Ginny, but you know I would never force you to do anything.
How could she not want to become an even closer friend to him?
I am so happy you think the same as me. If I could, I would hug you. But I still worry: once this bond is in place, we will never be able to break it until the curse that binds me to this diary is lifted. I wouldn't want you to ever have regrets in the meantime.
This wasn't a problem at all. She couldn't imagine living without Tom anymore. In fact, when she looked back, her life had seemed lonely and bleak before. He was so helpful all the time! The stress of going to Hogwarts had been making her ill recently, she had nearly fainted several times the past two weeks. In addition to providing constant emotional support, he had given her the instructions to brew several vitamin potions to help her fight the stress and the fatigue. They were complicated but she had been proud she had managed to make them with his help.
I want us to become better friends, I really do, she hurried to write. She didn't want him to think she was being reticent because she was taking too long to answer.
If that's the case... the only thing you need to do would be to place a drop of blood on the paper. That's all.
She recoiled and her feather ripped on the page, leaving an uneven trail of ink. Blood? Her Dad always said blood magic was powerful and dangerous. It was Dark Arts! Surely Tom didn't want her to do something illegal?
It would be nothing dangerous Ginny, you know I would never want to put you in danger. It would be like a pinkie promise to be present for each other, only a little more serious. It won't do much since I don't have a blood of my own to trade back with you, but I thought it would bring us closer together so I could help you a little more.
She felt her cheeks heat up. She shouldn't have been so suspicious, Tom was only trying to help her because she was afraid for her sorting. She had been the one wishing he could be there in the flesh with her mere moments ago.
I understand if you don't want to do it. It was only a suggestion.
She knew Tom would never force her to do anything if she had the slightest doubt. They cared too much for each other for him to do that.
If you want to bring us closer, you'll only have to let a drop of your blood fall on one of the pages while thinking you want our bond to become stronger. But it doesn't have to be today, don't worry. I wouldn't want you to make a decision you'd regret, I care too much about you for that.
Ginny felt a small smile stretch the corners of her mouth upward. She was worrying over nothing. Tom would never suggest they do something really illegal and her Dad would never have given her the diary if he didn't think Tom was a good person.
Perhaps you should think about it and we'll speak about it later? You still have a few hours in front of you before arriving at Hogwarts.
In Tom's speech, that meant Tom was ending their conversation for now. She closed the diary and leant against the window with a sigh. She would think about it.
.
The trip over the Black Lake had been breath catching. No amount of description by her brothers could have prepared her for it. The Castle was as awe inspiring from up close though her wonderment was starting to evaporate. Professor McGonagall had welcomed them what seemed like an eternity ago. Did they take such a long time to prepare the Hall for the sorting every year? She could barely stand still anymore. She took her diary out of the inner pocket of her robes.
She and Tom hadn't spoken again in the end. Should she do as he'd proposed? Could he really give her a boost in courage? She trusted him with all her being but she didn't want to dabble in blood magic.
She looked discretely around herself. She had been separated from Luna once they had gotten off the boasts so she was all alone in a sea of first year she couldn't recognise. No one was looking at her. She skimmed through the blank pages of the diary to see if Tom had written her anything else. He always reabsorbed all the ink into the diary, to keep their conversations private just in case her brothers decided to look into it so any new entry on his part would stand out but the pages were all empty.
Just as she was closing her diary, the Great Hall's doors opened again with a bang, making her jump with surprise. A scowling dark haired person who could only be Professor Snape hurried out of the Hall and stalked into the direction of the entrance of the castle.
A twinge of pain on her index finger made her reflectively put it in her mouth. Her eyes widened when she realized what the faint taste of iron that filled her mouth meant. She wrenched her finger out and saw a small cut was oozing blood.
She frantically flipped the pages of the diary in search of the page that could have cut her, smearing more droplets of blood on the pages as she turned them. They all got sucked into the diary and disappeared almost immediately.
Cold sweat was making her shirt cling to her back. She hadn't wanted to do that! She forced her breathing to slow and willed her hands to still. Once they stopped shaking uncontrollably, she picked a page, and waited for Tom's reaction. He always knew which page the diary was open on and it was too late to wipe her blood off the pages, there was no trace of it left.
He didn't make her wait for long and dark red words glittering like her freshly spilled blood soon sprawled on the paper. Towards the end, the red blended back into black ink.
Thank you Ginny, you won't regret trusting me.
She squinted as she tried to decipher the letters. Tom's usually smooth and elaborate handwriting was harsh and messy. It was barely legible, as if he had been too excited to write properly.
A violent shiver wracked her entire frame. She forced herself to ignore it. It was too late to hesitate or regret. It was done.
You'll see, your sorting will go just fine. I will be with you every step of the way.
She snapped the diary closed and placed it back into her robe. She cast a wild look around her for Luna and hurried to her side once she spotter her.
Luna offered her a serene smile.
"How can you not be worried?"
"Everyone always gets into a House," she shrugged, looking supremely unconcerned.
Ginny yawned. She was a little envious of her ever-unflappable attitude.
.
After what seemed an eternity, the doors of the Great Hall opened again and Professor McGonagall stepped through to lead them inside.
She stumbled a little into Luna who steadied her when she looked up at the enchanted ceiling in tired wonder.
She sent the blonde a grateful smile before reporting her attention to Gryffindor's table. She saw Percy, Fred, George. She even saw Ron and Harry's friend, Hermione Granger. But neither Ron nor Harry were there. They couldn't have gotten in trouble so early in the year... Could it be Harry had told Ron he didn't want to see her sorting because she was too clumsy around Harry all the time? Could they have skipped the Sorting Feast because of her?
She stumbled again when she stopped with the other first years and screwed her eyes shut. No, it couldn't be. Ron at least would have come unless he really was ashamed of her and didn't want her to be in the same House as him. Maybe he thought like her, that she wasn't brave enough to deserve to be in Gryffindor. She made an effort to force back the tears that threatened to escape her closed eyelids. This couldn't be true. Tom had said she was just as courageous as her brothers and they would find a way to break his curse together.
She blinked a few times. The first student was being sorted. Wasn't the Hat supposed to sing? Ron had told her the Hat sang about the Houses before the sorting began. Had they decided to dispense with this tradition this year?
She yawned. Her limbs felt like lead and her hand refused to move to cover her mouth. Just her luck. She should have thought to take one of the vitamin potions she and Tom had brewed this summer. The stress was making her feel sleepy again, she was constantly tired these days.
A few slow blinks later and Luna's blurry silhouette was walking in the direction of the Ravenclaw table. She rubbed her eyes in an effort to clear her vision.
The amount of first years was decreasing fast. She had known since the beginning she was going to be the last to be sorted but she wasn't even afraid anymore. She felt numb.
Through the fog that was slowly starting to encase her senses, she faintly heard the whisper of a voice. Felt the phantom lips press a soothing kiss on her forehead. Realized solid, clammy fingers were clutching hers. A jolt of energy swept through her and she looked down. The fingers were hers. She had entwined them.
She blinked in confusion at her hands that felt as though they weren't hers anymore. Feeling silly and overly dramatic, she shook her head in an attempt to shake herself but she nearly lost her balance. Her head was spinning and the lights were hurting her eyes. The stress was playing with her, making her imagine things.
She had already felt this sensation of a presence surrounding her when she was this tired during the summer. She liked to imagine it was Tom watching over her. She was going to pretend it was the same since the blood in the journal didn't seem to have worked. She had worried over nothing.
When her name was finally called, she was fighting the urge to sit down on the cold floor, she barely had the energy to keep standing upright and it looked so inviting.
Without her realising it, her legs were moving. The fog that was slowly but steadily invading her mind receded a little at her surprise and she tottered for a few steps, though she managed to stay upright by sheer luck.
She had barely started walking straight again when she felt as though all her energy was draining from her limbs though they were still moving her to the stool. She felt as though she was being a guest in her own body.
'No,' she thought. 'No.' She wouldn't let her weak constitution prevent her from being fully present for her sorting.
With all her might, she fought to regain control over her fatigued legs which still seemed to have a life of their own. She pushed and pushed to make her them advance only at her order, to make her arms move the way she wanted them to.
After a few seconds of intense fighting, something intangible seemed to break and her legs gave way under her. She fell face first onto the ground.
The pain of the fall and the coolness of the stone floor against her left cheek cleared away the fog in her mind. Her thoughts became less sluggish and noise filled her ears. She could hear people were laughing, the twins the loudest amongst them. She heard Percy shush them even louder. She clenched her teeth.
The anger and pain of this humiliation brought energy back into her limbs and she managed to push herself off the floor on shaking arms and legs. The effort to do so felt humongous but she would be damned before she let herself faint on the floor in front of everyone on her first day at Hogwarts.
She clenched her fists. Her fingernails bit into her skin and the small amount of pain that caused her helped her focus on her destination.
She swept her very visible Weasley hair over her shoulder, straightened her spine and staggered to the stool with her head held high.
What a way to introduce herself to Hogwarts. But she would show them. She would be great one day. She would prove them all that their first impression of her had been the wrong one. She wasn't weak. This was temporary.
Professor McGonagall squeezed her shoulder briefly, bowing to her level to ask her if she was alright.
Tears of rage and humiliation were blurring her vision and she fought with renewed vigour for the control of her body. Her previous lethargy was completely gone now. She nodded quickly.
She didn't want the professor's pity. Everything was fine. She was Ginevra Molly Weasley. She was Tom's most precious person. The only one he thought capable of breaking his curse. She was powerful, he had told her as much and Tom never lied.
He had promised her he was going to help her become the best, that together, they would make sure no-one would ever look down on her again the way Lucius Malfoy had in Diagon Alley, the day her father bought her the diary Tom was being imprisoned in.
And when she became great, she would free Tom. Her best friend. Her only real friend. The only person in the world she could confide everything to, who would never leave her, who always understood her.
The professor straightened herself and moved to place the Sorting Hat on her head.
She wasn't even afraid of not becoming a Gryffindor anymore. She didn't care about her House. She wanted this moment to be over so she could move on to something else. Tomorrow would be a new day. Tom had told her all about the lessons. She would prove to them all her stumbling during her sorting meant nothing. She was more than just the clumsy girl her parents had at the seventh attempt.
The brim of the Hat fell over her eyes.
"SLYTHERIN!"
The Great Hall fell into chaos.
End Notes
Given the thoughts that were going through her head when the Hat was sorting her, I think it's not too much of a stretch to think It wouldn't have looked any further? :)
Thank you for reading!
If you have the time or the inclination, I would love to know what you thought of this short story.