Notes 1: Late to the party, as always.
Notes 2: I've only watched the two movies and '10 fact' videos on YouTube so don't come at me about the novel or cartoon series headcanons. I just like writing analyses about 'villains' and 'mean girls'.
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pretty like glitter lips
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My outsides are cool, my insides are blue
– TLC, Unpretty
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"Who's my prettiest princess?" The Evil Queen asks, aging and still clinging onto her youth, as the older woman brushes little Evie's blue, blue hair.
"I am!" Evie chirps back, she's turning six and wearing a pair of hand-me-down pyjamas. The clothes are a little worn out but still perfect for a pretty pink princess.
The Evil Queen makes an expression that's as close to smiling as it'll ever get, which Evie catches through the reflection of the vanity she's sitting in front of. And then, Evie notes through the reflection that her mother is using a wooden brush to comb her blue hair tonight. It's dubbed the 'special brush' because wooden brushes are the best type of combs to help distribute sebum oil naturally along Evie's roots to the ends of her hair.
They don't have a lot but the Evil Queen tries to make everything count, everything pretty.
The vanity, for instance, is also a hand-me-down too, much like everything else given to the people of the Isle of the Lost. There are scratches in the vanity's fine white wood and faded stickers and the name AUDREY scribbled in permanent market but there's not much the Evil Queen or Evie can do about it. Here, on this tiny island, because beggars can't be choosers, and enchantresses can't wave their wands and fix things with their magic.
"Are you excited for your birthday tomorrow, Princess?" The Evil Queen asks.
"Yes!" Evie exclaims, smiling. The smile is far too wide for her mother's comfort.
"Wrinkles." The Evil Queen reminds and Evie's smile immediately drops. "Now, tell me, who did you invite again?"
And the question is not just about connections and status, but also about resources and making the best out of the little money they've pooled. Everything, and they mean everything, goes to cosmetics and beauty products in this family.
Evie blinks her big brown eyes and starts listing names as her mother continues brushing her daughter's hair.
"Didn't you invite Mal?" The older woman asks.
"No," Evie answers and a frown appears on her face.
"And why is that?"
"She said princesses are dumb. And I'm a princess so she's calling me dumb." Evie reasons.
"Oh, Evie, my sweet." The Evil Queen really doesn't want to explain herself to Maleficent after the birthday party but she supposes the invitation would be too late.
Evie asks, breaking her mother's train of thoughts, "There's nothing wrong with being a pretty princess, isn't there, Mommy?"
"No, nothing wrong at all, Princess." And with that, the Evil Queen settles Evie in for an early night of rest because everyone knows staying up late causes dark circles and eyebags and all the nasty things that make a person look hideous.
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"You shouldn't listen to your mom so much," Jay says, appearing next to Evie on a rickety rooftop of a building. His pockets rattled and clink together as he sits beside her and Evie guesses he's probably stolen something from the market.
"I don't know which rule you're implying but you know I can't do that." Evie says.
She closes her brown eyes and leans back, trying to get as much sun as possible. Not enough to tan herself because the Evil Queen will definitely kill her for not being the 'fairest of the land' but just enough to get some vitamin D and little warmth.
"You're scared of your mom." Jay accuses and Evie's eyes immediately snap open just so she could glare at him.
"Like you're not scared of your dad." She snips lightly at his unnecessary jab. She's not as timid as Carlos with his own mother, Cruela De Vil. But Evie follows most of her mother's beauty routines religiously.
Jay doesn't say anything back at Evie's remark but he does decide to keep talking, changing the topic as he goes, "I'm just saying, you should smile more."
"Smile?" Evie touches the corner of her mouth, the lip gloss she's wearing is pretty and pink and shiny like glitter. But Evie immediately stops what she's doing when she almost smears her glossy lips.
"Yeah, you know? Smiling? That thing that happens when you're happy and your mouth turns upwards. Like this." And as Jay says this, a smirk forms on his face.
She should roll her eyes now. They're twelve and Evie doesn't think she's smiled in years.
"Oh, shut up." Evie says and smacks her friend lightly.
And in response to the snark, Jay smirks even wider.
For some reason, it annoys Evie – a lot. Ugh, what does Jay know about smiling, anyway? He's always got that stupid smug look plastered on his face and that's not really smiling. That's just – Jay only knows stuff about muscles (and Evie knows it takes twenty-six muscles to smile but it's whatever).
Evie thinks, Jay will probably (definitely) get wrinkles before he turns thirty if he keeps smirking like that. But Evie also thinks that that won't be Jay's biggest concerns, it's not like Jay's ever going to have any problems finding a girl who doesn't want him. Jay's handsome, a beautiful boy even, with high cheek bones and tan skin and silky long hair.
"Give me a smile, Princess." Jay says, but it's said rudely and almost mockingly tone like how everyone on this island speaks.
Despite the mocking manner, Evie does give in and offer a practiced dazzling smile with straight, white teeth.
But even then, she's met with an answer of "Your smile should be more genuine."
And her grin instantly drops. She utters him a curse she's learned since age ten and stomps off.
Oh, what does Jay know about real smiles? Anything, really? Smiling causes laugh lines and everybody knows 'laugh lines' are just a fancy name of covering up the term 'wrinkles' for what they really are. Who needs to be happy? Who needs to be smiling 24/7?
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Evie thinks Aurora's blue fairy, Merryweather, is right – blue is a beautiful colour. It's the colour of the endless sky and deep sea and bluebell flowers and ink in pens.
Merryweather is truly an underappreciated fashion icon. She should have casted that spell to turn Aurora's famous dress forever blue instead of letting it stay pink. But, of course, it's not like Evie could share this thought with anyone. She can't even tell Mal, and Mal is her best friend.
(But Mal likes purple and green. And Mal still thinks princesses are stupid so what does it matter?)
Evie thinks that there's nothing wrong with being a pretty pink girly girl (though Evie now has a great appreciation for blues and leather over pinks and frills). Evie has and will always want to be a princess.
More than anything, she still wants to be a princess, and live in a mansion and have perfect curls in the morning, and just be magical.
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Despite what people think of her, Evie's actually smarter than she looks. Way smarter. She remembers how she mother used to 'make' (read as 'force') her read the dictionary when she was little, ten pages a day because, "Evie, my sweet, magic mirror spells aren't easy and you are required to know words and rhymes at your fingertips."
It's just – It's not Evie's fault that things she's read doesn't sound like what she thinks it sounds like in her head (read as '107.9 amu').
And like everything her mother's told her, Evie does it religiously. After she's finished reading the dictionary the first round, she would read it again – and again and again until she's gotten bored of memorizing big words. Then she'd start reading other books, books that are thick and fit her vast vocabulary, because what else is there to do apart from steal and act wicked and rot on the Isle?
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She sits in front of her old vanity and brushes her blue, blue hair.
A grey hair appears, probably the outcome of a stressful life, of constantly trying to be pretty. It makes Evie frowns. She must go to Dizzy to get the matter solved, her mother would kill her if she finds out about Evie's greying hair.
(The only problem is, Lady Tremaine's Curl Up Dye opens after midnight and The Evil Queen absolutely forbids Evie from staying up past twelve because "Night time is when the skin supercharges itself to look glowing and plump.")
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"What do you want?" Uma asks in the meanest voice she can muster.
Evie looks up from the spot she's standing at Ursula's Fish Chips and then to Uma's face. Uma looks tired – no, absolutely exhausted – with dark circles and her aquamarine box braids swept up in a bun. For a moment, Evie is glad her mother values her more than most villain parents (even if it's just for her beauty).
"Did Gil tell you I'm working third shift now?" Uma jabs, a frown pressed on her face. "Came here to taunt me? Where's Mal and the others?"
"I came here alone." Evie says then looks around the almost empty restaurant.
"Did you?" Uma asks, she's too angry for someone her age.
"Hmm, late night snack." Evie answers and sniffs the air, acting disgusted. Not that she needs to, this place smells of fish and guts.
"Really?" Uma asks irritated because in her head, there are many other places, actual restaurants, Evie could have sat at and eaten.
And Uma gets an equally irritated response of "Can I order or not?" from Evie because Evie's hungry, she hasn't eaten anything since dinner, she hasn't eaten anything for the past eight hours. Evie's spent the last five hours helping Dizzy at Lady Tremaine's Curl Up Dye after getting touch ups to her blue hair.
"Fine," Uma sighs and whips out a notepad from her dirty apron. She asks, "Table for one?" because Uma isn't stupid. She's not going to turn down money. Even if it's small. Life is hard here on this evil, little island.
"Yeah," Evie answers then follows Uma as the pirate-waitress guides her to a small table.
This may be the most pleasant conversation Evie's had with Uma, ever. But then again, from what Evie can see, Uma looks too tired to bicker. Though, Uma does have enough energy to snap back if she's irritated.
Evie's food comes not even a minute later. And once Evie eyes the food, she almost regrets ordering it. But food is food, and Evie's not going to dine and ditch Uma after seeing the poor state she's in.
While Evie eats in silence, she thinks about the Isle and the people in it. Especially the kids. Of Mal and Jay and Carlos. Of Uma and Harry and Gil. Of Dizzy who doesn't look like most of kids here. Dizzy's dorky and a chatter-box and hardworking, not sneaky and mean and rude. Dizzy deserves more than this life. They all do.
Over at the United States of Auradon, they have swimming pools and ice-cream and chocolate while over here in the Isle of the Lost, they have hand-me-downs and scraps and barely any sun with that magical dark cloud over the island.
"I doubt you'll ever come back. The food here is pretty shit." Uma answers honestly as she grabs Evie's now empty tray and drink.
And for a moment, Evie wonders if it's true what they say about people being their most honest after the clock strikes midnight. There's something magical about twilight hour.
"But, if you do." Uma continues, rubbing an eyebag. "Don't come at this hour."
"Is it because you work third shift and you don't want me to see you here? Are you scared of what I'll think of you?" Evie asks, it sounds like a taunt but it's more of a vulnerable question, girl talk. Uma's constantly surrounded by rowdy boys with bad guyliner.
"No, I don't care what you think. You've probably seen me worse. It's just ..." Uma presses her lips together. "It's just that, all the fresh seafood arrives at dawn and everything else past lunch time is just bigger scraps."
"Oh," Evie says and can't help but dig in her purse to find a few loose change to tip Uma. It's not much but every little penny counts.
"Yeah, you want the good stuff. Fish has iron in it, right? It's good for your hair or something?" Uma says, but it doesn't seem like she's interested in the answer. She's too busy counting the total.
"Nails." Evie corrects.
Uma blinks. She knows she's tired but her Math can't be that off. She tells Evie, "You gave me more than what the food and water cost."
Evie swallows and sees struggling, worked to the bone Dizzy in Uma. "I know."
"I don't –"
"Keep it."
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"You four have been chosen to go to a new school in Auradon." Maleficent says with a smirk playing on her evil lips and her staff commanding obedience.
And, although Maleficent's the cruellest, scarier villain out there, Evie, Jay and Carlos still tries to run away from it all.
"What?" Mal shrieks, green eyes wide and exposed.
There's no way that she and her friends are going there. They've already been outcasted by the Auradon citizens, there's no way that they'll be outcast by the Isle too. Not by both their people and by those posh, snooty royals.
"I'm not going to go to a school filled with a prissy pink princess, Mom." Mal says fiercely. "Those princesses are – ugh, they're horrible. And I don't mean that as a compliment."
And suddenly Evie is transported to the time she was six and didn't invite Mal to her birthday party.
"You will go, you will find the Fairy Godmother and you will bring me back her magic wand." Maleficent says, filing her nails and not looking at the children as she says these things. She doesn't care about the kids on the Isle. She just wants power.
Sadly, no one can object.
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"Evie, my little princess, you just find yourself a prince with a big castle and mother-in-law wing. And lots and lots of mirrors." The Evil Queen says.
And then just like that, a limo appears like Cinderella's pumpkin carriage, ready to sweep the four teenagers off their feet. Ready to send the four off to a foreign land with castles and magic.
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"M, I'm scared." Evie says as she fills her luggage with her essential lotions and facial creams, and her finest hand-sewn clothes. The luggage is 2/3 full and still has room for additional things to be stored. Evie wasn't sure if it was sad or a blessing that she didn't have much clutter to bring along to a trip she didn't consent too. "I don't want to go."
"We have to, E." Mal answers gently, sitting on Evie's bed.
"But, I like it here." Evie says. At least the people here will low-key praise her for making a gown out of curtains. Out there in Auradon, they'll laugh and scorn her for it. She'll look like Cinderella before the riches, all rags.
Mal frowns and walks up to Evie. "If you can't think of it for you, at least think of it for your mother."
And Evie doesn't reply because she really does want to make her mother proud. She's mommy's little princess, after all.
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"Smile for the camera," Carlos mumbles through chocolate smeared teeth, standing there like a deer in headlights after he and Jay had made absolute fools out of themselves in front of the Auradon Prep students.
Evie considers Carlos's words for a moment and takes one good look at him, she almost bursts out laughing.
Almost.
Ha, like Evie could afford the risk of wrinkles, the risk of getting ugly!
But then one mention of the word 'Prince' and Evie instantly forgets her mother's warnings. Her lips gloss sparkles like shiny glitter as she lets herself smile widely.
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The first time they arrive at the United States of Auradon (after the whole screaming and freak out moment in the limo), the first thing Evie learns about the place is that it's bright.
And she means, bright. Sunlight was streaming and warm and making everything aglow. And after, Prince Benjamin (Bennyboo) and Princess Audrey had left, directing Doug to show them around, Evie couldn't help but feel a girlish squeal crawl up her excited throat.
"Wow," Evie says, eyeing their dorm that was fitting for a princess with frills and clean bedsheets and furniture that wasn't falling apart like it was back home in the Isle. She's so excited that she forgets her mother's warnings once again and lets out a ridiculously girly giggle. She. can't. stop. smiling. "It's amazing –"
"It's gross." Mal cuts in, rolling her green eyes in disgust.
"Oh." Evie couldn't help but let out a hurt expression before covering up the sound of her disappointment because – Duh, what was she thinking? She's supposed to be rotten and mean. Not – Not pretty and pink or an elegant princess. Even Audrey had said so, she's no princess. She's not royal.
She's just ... a poor island girl.
Evie pretends to wrinkle her nose and utters, "Of course, it's ... amazingly gross."
"It's too bright too. It's hurting my eyes. Let's close the curtains." Mal says and heads straight for the nearest window without waiting for her best friend's answers.
"Yeah, okay." Evie answer, towering over Mal as she walks past the purple haired girl to close a curtain. She pretends she doesn't miss the warm sun immediately.
After all, she should be used to stuffy, dark cold places. Who needs a luxurious mansion with big windows to let in fresh air and sunlight when you've got a closed up room?
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"Guys, do I have to remind you what we're all here for?!" Mal asks, glaring as Carlos and Jay plays their stupid video games and while Evie uses her mother's magic mirror to apply her red, red lipstick.
"Fairy Godmother, blah, blah, blah. Magic wand, blah, blah, blah." Jay teases while punching virtual bag guys. This is the most fun he's had in forever.
Then all three of them let out taunting laughs, something as close as they'll ever get to an evil laugh. They're adjusting too quickly to Auradon. They're liking the place, appreciating its beauty. They're relaxing and taking the plan for granted.
Mal's piercing emerald eyes glazed over and a hardness in her voices washes over the trio's laughter. "This is our one chance to prove ourselves to our parents."
And everyone stops. They just stop.
"To prove that we are evil and vicious, and ruthless and cruel, yeah?" Mal snaps.
A chorus of 'yeah's echoes after that. Mal can be commanding like her mother when she wants to be.
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"Oh my God!" Lonnie says as she looks at herself in the mirror and touches her new hair; long, curly and brown.
"I know right? It looks hideous." Evie says as she puts both hands on Lonnie's shoulders.
She says this with ease because she knows a thing or two about hair layering and how to make heatless beach waves, of the perfect hairdos for people with rough face shapes and of split ends. Dizzy and Lady Tremaine's Curl Up Dye has taught her a lot. She knows everything there is to be a princess (even if Princess Audrey says Evie isn't one).
"No, no. I love it!" Lonnie replies, spinning around, satisfied with her new look.
"What?" Evie's jaw drops. She knows Mal's magic is impressive, but this is ... "You love it?"
"Yes!" Lonnie squeals and claps her hands together.
And for a moment, Evie wonders how Lonnie gets to be a princess and not her.
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"I told Mal what I thought of Auradon. I said it wasn't so bad," Jay tells Evie one day as he's punching virtual butt and Evie's doing her homework.
"Yeah?" Evie asks, because, secretly, deep down, she thinks this place isn't so bad too. She's actually proving herself. She's actually showing her smarts.
"Yeah," Jay nods. "And then she reminded me that I'm bad news."
"Oh." Evie's utters stiffly. Right, they're supposed to be rotten to the core. How could she forget? Was it because Mal was giving everyone magic make overs and because Evie was getting good grades? The conversation drops entirely from there.
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"M?" Evie whispers into the darkness of their shared dorm room. The curtains are drawn together tightly but Evie thinks, tonight, even the bright moon won't dare shine in their evil way.
She's met with silence so Evie calls her best friend again, "M, are you awake?"
"... Yeah." Mal voices. "I can't sleep."
"Me too."
Evie hears Mal shift in her bed.
"I don't know if I can ..." Evie trails off. She's a bundle of knotted nerves. She's getting cold feet. And the fact that her marked B grade sits by her bedside table doesn't make it better. She can't see it but she can feel it – an opportunity slipping away. Evie swallows, "Tomorrow ... I don't know if I can go through with … I don't know if I can do it."
It – the plan to steal the Fairy Godmother's wand at Prince Benjamin's coronation.
"You have to." Mal says into the darkness. "Think of our future. If we do this, we'll finally get to be free. This could change everything, E."
That's right. That's right. If not for her, then Evie has to do it for the people she loves. For Jay who's selling stolen toasters for his dad's shop. For Carlos who's never had the luxury of tasting sweet chocolate. For Uma who's working hard on third shift. For Dizzy who's too pure to be stuck on that rotten island.
She's not here to be a pretty princess. She's not here to be more than a pretty face. She's here for other matters. Cruel matters. Evil matters.
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"Then I'll go with you, M. I'll go back home with you."
"No, E. You stay, this is your home. You're an Auradon girl. And I'm just someone from the Isle."
And Evie can't bring herself to lie that she this fact isn't true. Because Evie is talented. Because Evie knows how to sew. Because Evie has beauty tips for everything. Because Evie was never an Isle girl to begin with, she's always been a princess.
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end
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Notes 3
Ah, after spending years watching all those make-up and hair tutorials on YouTube that I never made use of on myself, I've finally made use of them in this fanfic.
– 9 July 2018