These characters are not my own. All rights go to Star Trek (Paramount) and Doctor Who (BBC) Also this has an M rating because Bones curses in one of the later chapters but there is no smut.

As flying nannies go there have been only two worthy of noting. The first of course is Mary Poppins. Unfortunately Ms. Poppins loses the flying nanny competition to Clara Oswin Oswald who is currently piloting the TARDIS through a wormhole in the space-time continuum. A time machine is a great improvement to the floating black umbrella that can't even leave the Earth's atmosphere.

Just a year ago Clara was nothing more than a suburban girl working as a nanny and now she was a time traveler. It was as if reality had tapped her on the shoulder and informed her that it would be taking a year off to relax in the Bahamas. Now her only worry was if and when reality would be back again.

It had taken months of her badgering the Doctor to let her fly the TARDIS and weeks of training. The Doctor wanted to be certain that Clara wouldn't hurt his "darling girl" and that she knew how to pilot her gently and with care.

In the meantime Clara had been studying up. When she wasn't running for her life from aliens she was reading the TARDIS operations manual. Of course she couldn't read the whole thing so she studied the abridged version which had enough information to fill a moderately sized home rather than the complete version which had enough information to fill a moderately sized planet. She had made detailed drawings of every, lever, button, pulley, sensor, screen and doo-dad on the control panel. She had highlighted her copy of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, especially the map. This nanny from suburbia could name for you every star system in the galaxy and every galaxy in the known universe.

"Doctor? Are you sure these are the right coordinates? Because according to my maps the diamond planet of Krai Tai is located at 70'4 in the alpha quadrant of the galaxy not 60'4 in the gamma quadrant."

"Clara, How long have I been flying the TARDIS for?"

"900 years?"

"Don't you think I should know how to locate a planet by now?"

"Yes I think you should know. But the problem is you don't."

"Well there's no need to get sassy."

The TARDIS jerked to a stop sending the Doctor and Clara flying to the ground.

"See?" said the Doctor, popping up from under the control panel, his shaggy hair having flown across his forehead during the landing "We've landed. Told you I knew how to find Krai Tai."

"If this is Krai Tai."

"It is! Now just materialize her nice and gently and we'll be off."

Clara pressed a combination of buttons on the control panel and the TARDIS let out it's familiar whine of materialization.

The Doctor skipped to the door. "Now," he said, "I give you Krai Tai. The only planet in the galaxy with a surface made of pure diamond." He threw open the door with a flourish of his wrist and beams of white light expanded throughout the TARDIS.

In that moment Clara's stomach dropped. She was conflicted. Which would be more satisfactory? Seeing a planet whose surface was composed entirely of Earth's rarest substance? Or proving the Doctor wrong?

In a moment her eyes adjusted and she stepped forward. The Doctor was bent in a grandiose bow, his hands outstretched.

"Your diamond planet. mi'lady," he said with a smirk.

Clara stepped across the threshold. Wherever she was it certainly had a shine to it. A shine almost but not quite entirely unlike diamond. She was in the hallway of a large starship from the looks of it. A group of about ten crewmen, dressed in colored uniforms, had gathered to gape open mouthed at the blue box that had just materialized before them.

The Doctor stuck his head out the door. Looking around his face slowly wrinkled in disbelief.

"Wha- I don't- But this should be-The floor! It's not-" he stammered.

Clara tapped the floor with her foot, "Linoleum, Doctor. Linoleum."