Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil
So I started playing RE: Survivor again recently and couldn't help but notice how crazy the voice acting is—especially in regards to Vincent's mother, who sounds like the mother of Norman Bates. I came up with a fan theory as to why she sounds way older than she should and this was the result. Enjoy.
…
After a long day of work, the head of the Umbrella research lab on Sheena Island, Vincent Goldman, retreated to his office on the thirteenth floor of the building. Nobody dared to make eye contact with the power hungry man as he made his way out of the elevator, fearing that he may take their glances the wrong way and put them on his personal hit list. Sighs of relief escaped the workers as their boss closed the doors behind him, cutting him off from the outside world.
Vincent sat down at his desk and immediately turned on his computer. The system had barely started when the phone beside him started to ring. He absentmindedly answered, not even bothering to check the number.
"Vincent, it's me, your mother," a high-pitched and frail feminine voice whined. "I want you to leave Umbrella, stop committing those horrible crimes and just come back hooome!"
The blond man let out a very loud groan and pinched the bridge of his nose. He cursed himself for not checking the number earlier. It was not his mother that was calling—instead, it was the same lunatic that had made a recent habit of prank calling him and other employees.
"Nice try, Ashford, but my mother isn't a ninety year old woman!" Vincent snapped.
At first Vincent had no idea who was behind the calls, but he had successfully traced the number back to Rockford Island, which was under the command of Alfred Ashford, the grandson of one of Umbrella's founders and the twin brother of the late scientist Alexia Ashford.
"Who is Alfred? This is your mother!"
"I didn't say Alfred, I said Ashford!" Vincent growled.
"Uh, oops, I, uh," Alfred stammered, still using his old lady voice. "Uh, the stove's on fire! I have to go!"
The other line went dead, much to Vincent's pleasure. He slammed the phone down on the receiver and went back to focusing on the computer. He was snapped out of his thoughts of work with the phone ringing. He looked down at the phone and saw an unlisted number. Vincent rolled his eyes and picked it up.
"Hello?" he asked, hoping it wasn't Alfred again.
"Vincent, it's me, that woman you slept with last month!" the same old lady voice said. "I'm calling to let you know that I'm pregnaaant!"
"Alfred, if you don't stop calling me I'm going to have you killed!"
"Bring it on, you mama's boy!" Alfred said, still using the old lady voice.
The line went dead. Vincent growled and threw the phone across the room. He then ripped the cord out of the wall and went back to focusing on his computer.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, Alfred laughed hysterically in his own personal office. After calming himself down, he wiped the corners of his eyes and picked up the phone, dialing the number of another employee…
A/N: Love it? Hate it? I have some other 'prank calls' thought up, so this story will be continued. Let me know what you thought, and Happy Valentine's Day!