Two weeks after Sookie gave birth to little baby Martha, she strolled into Luke's Diner with her stroller hoping to find Lorelai. However, she found the Diner to mostly be empty as it was the in between hours between lunch and dinner. She smiled and plopped herself down at the end of the counter so that the stroller could be beside her.
Luke walked in from the kitchen and smiled, "Oh. Hey Sookie. What are you doing here?"
Sookie smiled and looked down at her daughter, "Oh we were feeling a little cooped up in the house. Thought I'd go for a little walk…test the waters a little. I thought Lorelai might be here…"
Luke shook his head, "No. She's been so busy at the Inn with you gone, she hasn't been in at all today actually."
Sookie frowned sadly, "Sorry about that."
He smiled and shrugged it off, "Sookie you had a baby…I can't exactly be mad at you for that."
Sookie laughed, "True. I guess I just wanted to make sure she was okay. I haven't been able to talk to her much since I left the hospital. I mean we talk on the phone but it's not really something I want to bring up over the phone ya know?"
"What? You don't want to talk about how busy she is?" Luke asked feeling confused by her statement.
Sookie shook her head, "No. Not that. I'm talking about the baby." She said bluntly.
Luke frowned again, "What baby? Your baby? Why wouldn't Lorelai want to talk about Martha?"
Sookie laughed again, "No not my baby! We talk about my baby. I meant your baby!"
Luke felt his heart drop to his stomach and he was sure his face had turned as white as a ghost. "Excuse me?"
"Uh oh…" Sookie whispered, "Lorelai didn't talk to you about that…"
"No. No she didn't talk to me about…" He cleared his throat nervously. "Wait…I just…"
Feeling terrible, Sookie stood up and pushed Martha around the counter, "Lets go in the back for a minute. You look like you're going to throw up."
Luke let Sookie lead her back to the store room and seemed to only be able to hear the cooing sounds that Martha was making in her stroller. He started to pace in the small storeroom as Sookie leaned against the wall.
"Okay…why don't you take a deep breath?" Sookie asked nervously.
"She's pregnant?" Luke asked as he continued to pace, "Lorelai is pregnant?"
"Well...I'm not sure. She just mentioned that she could possibly be pregnant…" Sookie said wishing she had kept her mouth shut.
"When? When did she mention that she might be pregnant?" He barked out, "And why the hell didn't she tell me?"
Martha started to cry when she heard the tension in Luke's voice, "Can you not yell please?"
Luke stopped pacing and looked over at the tiny baby in Sookie's arms. His mind started to wander to nine months from now when Lorelai could be holding their baby. If it was a girl, he imagined black ringlets on her head with piercing blue eyes and his heart melted.
"I'm sorry…" He whispered, unable to keep his eyes off of the small baby. "I'm sorry…I just…I'm-"
Sookie interrupted him, "I know. It's okay. I'm sorry." She paused, "I shouldn't have opened my big fat mouth. And I don't even know if she actually is pregnant…she just mentioned that she thought she might be."
"When?" He asked again in a soft voice. "When did she say this?"
"When I was in labor with Martha…she was there and she started telling me about that night you guys went to the city…you know the limo and the booze…" Sookie said as she bounced Martha up and down.
"We didn't…" He whispered thinking back to the night, he realized there wasn't much he could remember about it but he knew they hadn't exactly been careful.
Sookie let the information sink in before she spoke again, "Would it be such a bad thing if she was pregnant?"
Luke turned his gaze from Martha up to Sookie, "No. It wouldn't be a bad thing. It would be…" He paused and smiled, "It would be…amazing…I just…"
Sookie smiled, "I know. I caught you off guard. It's okay."
Luke sighed and looked down again, "But I don't understand why she didn't tell me. Even if it's not…"
"She's probably just afraid Luke…" Sookie whispered.
"Of what? Of me?" He asked as his eyes widened in shock, "Why would she be afraid of me?"
"Not of you…" Sookie said shaking her head, "I didn't mean it like that. Its just…have you guys ever really talked about…the possibility of having kids? Getting married?"
Luke let her words sink in and his eyes wandered to the Twicham house he wanted to buy for them. No, he and Lorelai had never talked about their future in terms of marriage and kids. Lord knows he had thought about it, but he had never discussed it with her. It wasn't something he was good about…talking about his feelings.
"No…we haven't." Luke answered honestly.
"Well…that's why she's probably afraid to talk to you about it. I mean it's not like her first pregnancy went over so well when she told the father…" Sookie said.
Luke grimaced, "Don't put me in the same category as Christopher…"
"I'm not…" Sookie said as she stepped closer to him, "I'm just saying…it's probably scary for her to talk about it. She's probably confused because she doesn't know how you might react or feel and she's probably thinking about what it was like with Rory…"
Luke ran a tired hand over his face, "I would never, ever ditch her like he did."
"I'm not saying you would. I'm just saying this is probably stressful for her and now that you guys are back together she doesn't want to screw it up. She doesn't want to push you away…" Sookie said.
Luke sighed, "I think I need to talk to Lorelai…"
Sookie watched him for a moment, "Luke…I really am sorry for even bringing this up. I didn't even think…it must be the lack of sleep thing." She said looking down at Martha, "I just assumed she had talked to you…"
"Well she didn't…" Luke whispered, then looked back at her, "But I'm not mad. I'm glad…now I can talk to her and figure this out."
Sookie nodded, "Right. Well remember we don't even know if she is or not…"
Luke nodded, "Right. I know."
Martha started to fuss in her arms, "Okay…Well I need to get going…"
He nodded again, "Right. Okay."
Sookie watched him for a moment, "Are you going to be okay?"
Luke nodded, "Yeah. I'm good."
Sookie smiled nervously and then walked out of the storeroom, leaving Luke to his own thoughts. He waited a few minutes before walking back out of the storeroom and into the Diner. It was still pretty much dead and he needed to clear his head a little. He had plans with Lorelai later and he knew this wasn't something he was going to be able to keep to himself.
Sighing, he looked over at Lane and smiled, "Hey Lane?"
She put the coffee pot in her hand down on the counter and smiled, "Yeah?"
"I'm uh…I'm not feeling so great." Luke said rubbing the back of his neck, "You uh…you think you can handle the place for the night?"
Lane nodded, "Sure. It's a Tuesday, shouldn't be too crazy. Ceaser will be in by four so I'll be good." She paused and looked at him, "You okay?"
Luke nodded, "Sure. Sure…I just have a headache. I think I need to just…get some sleep or something. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow…"
Lane nodded again, "Yeah. Okay. Go on upstairs. We'll be fine…"
"Great…" Luke said as he started to step back towards the curtain, "Just uh…run upstairs if you need anything?"
Lane smiled, 'Sure thing boss. Get some rest."
Luke waved nervously and then ran up the stairs to his apartment. He walked back and forth in the tiny space for a bit until he couldn't stand the idea of being there anymore. He quickly grabbed his keys, ran out of his apartment and out the back entrance to his truck.
There was something he needed to do…
_
Four hours later, Luke was back in his apartment cooking dinner and waiting for Lorelai to show up. He was cooking some of her favorite things, chicken picata, asparagus and risotto. He felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest by the time she waltzed in the door.
"God it smells good in here." She said as she whipped her coat off and tossed it on his lazy-boy chair before walking up behind him and kissing his cheek. "Although I don't know if it's the food or you mister…" She giggled as she kissed his cheek again before walking over to the fridge, "Lane said you had a headache…"
Luke watched as she reached for a water bottle, he noted how she didn't reach for the wine that he had in there. He wondered when the last time he had seen her drink was and he couldn't seem to remember…
She took a sip of the water and then screwed on the cap again, "You okay? We could have just ordered in if you weren't feeling great…"
Luke shook his head and looked over at her quickly before turning his attention back to the stove. "No. I'm good. I took a nap so I feel better." He lied.
Lorelai's eyes widened, "You took a nap?" She furrowed her brow and walked closer to him again, "That's it…I'm taking you to the doctor Mister…you must be sick." She teased as she put a hand to his forehead. "You don't feel warm…" She smirked, "Well no more than usual anyway…" She said as she slid her hands down his strong muscular back.
He moved away from her to reach for a knife, "No really. I'm good. I was just tired I think…"
Lorelai watched him walk around the room, not paying much attention to her. "Okay…"
"I uh…I still have some of your clothes here if you want to get more comfortable. I washed them so..." He said glancing at her quickly.
She watched his back, "Can I actually borrow one of your flannels? You know how I like wearing those…" She whispered.
He turned and smiled at her, "Sure…help yourself."
She smiled and walked behind him, stroking his back gently with her hand. She walked towards his closet and pulled out her favorite blue flannel before slipping into the bathroom. She changed quickly and hoped seeing her in his shirt would soften his mood a little…
When she tip toed out of the bathroom and back towards the kitchen, she sat down at the table and watched him continue to cook. "Risotto huh?"
He turned and looked at her quickly, "I promised I'd make it for you soon."
She smiled and pulled her legs up against her chest, "Yes you did…"
Luke turned stove to simmer and then looked back at her, his heart skipped a beat when he saw her bare legs, he could just make out the pink of her panties too. He smirked and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You look better in that than me…" He whispered huskily.
She smiled, relaxing now that he was finally giving her attention, "I beg to differ…"
He chuckled and shook his head, "I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree."
She pouted, "What? No argument about it? No playful banter?" She smiled and stood up and walked towards him, "Sure it was just a headache there babe?"
Luke looked deep into her eyes and reached up to push a strand of hair out of her face, "You're beautiful…"
Lorelai stared at him for a moment, then she leaned up and kissed him gently on the lips. "I missed you today…"
His hands found her waist as his thumbs began to draw circles against her hips, "I missed you too."
She smiled and leaned up to kiss him again, "I also missed your delicious cooking…and with Sookie gone I didn't get fed properly." She said with a small pout.
Luke chuckled, "Well then I better get back to cooking…can't let you starve. We know how crazy you get on an empty stomach."
"As opposed to how crazy I get with a full stomach?" She teased.
He laughed again and pushed her back, "Go sit crazy lady. It's almost done…"
She pecked his lips again and then walked over to the couch to sit more comfortably. She stretched out and let her fingers run against the leather of the couch. She sat in silence for a few minutes feeling content watching him walk around the kitchen with ease. She loved watching him work, the way his muscles tensed and relaxed made her heart skip a beat. She always wanted to wrap herself around him and let him hold her forever…it was the one place she truly felt safe.
She smiled again at him before turning her attention to the coffee table. She noticed a gift bag sitting there and curiosity got the better of her. She knew it was probably wrong to snoop, but the thought of Luke buying her a gift excited her. She glanced at him again to make sure he was otherwise preoccupied and then reached for the bag. She lifted the tissue paper up and reached into the bag to pull the gift out. Her heart stopped when she saw what was in her hands. Her fingers smoothed over the yellow fabric of the tiny baby outfit in her hands. She felt confused and was wondering if Luke could hear her heart beating in her chest from where he stood.
Luke continued to cook as he called out to her, "You talk to Rory today?"
Lorelai licked her lips nervously, "Uh…no."
"I was wondering how the Logan situation was going…" He said as he reached for plates, "Still not sure how I feel about that kid. I feel like she could do better." He huffed, "Well let's be honest…no one will ever be good enough for Rory but definitely not him…"
Her eyes glanced up at him and then back to the outfit, "Hey uh…Luke?"
"But I'm sure your parents are over the moon about him." He said grumbling, "Perfect little trust fund kid…his Moms probably a member of the DAR or whatever…"
"Luke…" She whispered again desperately needing him to turn towards her.
"I never really pictured Rory in that life though…I mean yeah she went to Chilton and she's at Yale but still." He said shrugging, "She seems so much better than those people…"
"Luke." She said more sternly finally catching his attention, he turned towards her and stopped dead when he saw what was in her hands, "What is this?"
Luke stared at her for a moment, trying to gauge her expression to see if he could tell if she was pregnant or not. But of course…he couldn't. Sighing he turned back to the stove and turned off all the burners before walking over to her. He took a deep breath, sat down on the coffee table across from her and looked straight into her deep blue eyes.
"It's a baby outfit…the lady at the store said it should be big enough for a new born." He said shrugging.
Lorelai nodded, "Right. But…" She licked her lips nervously, "I mean…I told you I got something for Martha from us. You didn't…"
"It's not for Martha…" Luke said shaking his head.
She blinked back the tears in her eyes for a moment, "Okay…well then who is it for?" She paused, "Is Liz-?"
He shook his head, "No. I mean…" He shrugged, "Not that I know of. I love my sister but for the world's sake I hope she doesn't procreate with TJ."
Lorelai chuckled softly, "Yeah…I'm not sure how that would turn out."
He smiled, "I'd have to intervene as quickly as possible to make sure it doesn't turn out like him…"
Lorelai smiled and nodded her head, and then she looked down at the outfit again and ran her fingers over the soft fabric. "If it's not for Liz…and it's not for Martha…then who is it for?"
Luke cleared is throat nervously before bracing the subject, "Uh…well…for our baby?" He asked with a nervous smile.
Lorelai took a deep breath as she sat up straighter, trying to wrap her mind around what he had just said, "Our baby?"
He sighed and fidgeted in his seat, "Sookie came to see me today…she was looking for you. And she said she was worried about you because of the baby…and I assumed she meant Martha but-"
"Luke…" She whispered feeling her heart start to pound harder in her chest.
"So we went back to the storeroom and we were talking." He said as he continued to rant, unable to keep from talking because he was nervous. "She said that you said you might be pregnant…she said it was the whole limo night…" He said shaking his head nervously, "We weren't exactly careful…"
Lorelai licked her lips and moved to sit up on the couch, pulling her legs up under her as she tried to talk to him again. "Luke I-"
"At first…I was really mad that you hadn't talked to me about it but you had talked to Sookie. And I will admit that I was pretty freaked out…" He said laughing, "But I just…I let it sink in and it did and I…" He stopped and took a deep breath before looking back up at her hopefully, "Lorelai I love you."
She reached up and wiped a tear away, "Luke…"
"I know I don't say it that often and I'm not good with talking about this kind of stuff." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "But…its like I told you on our first date. I'm in Lorelai…I'm ALL in." He said in a deep, honest voice as he searched her eyes, "I want a future with you…and only you." He smiled at her, "Marriage…babies…white picket fence…maybe even a dog." He said laughing, "I want that…with you."
Lorelai looked back down at the outfit, "Oh Luke…"
"I mean I wish you had talked to me…but I get why you didn't. But I want you to know that I'm not Christopher…" He whispered as he leaned into her.
She smiled and reached for his hand, "Honey…"
"Even if we hadn't talked about it…even if I didn't really even want kids I would never walk away from you and our baby. I would be there…every step of the way." He smiled at her, "I WILL be there." He said correcting himself, "I'll be there for all the late night cravings and the crazy mood swings. I'll be there for the first time the baby kicks and I'll even talk to your stomach when he or she is driving you nuts."
She sniffled as reached for him again, "Luke I-"
"And I will be there to drive you to the hospital and I will hold your hand through every contraction. I'll be there when we get to hold our baby for the first time…I'll be there when he or she crawls and walks and talks. I'll be there for it all…" He said reaching up to wipe the tears away from her eyes. "I want it all Lorelai…I want it all."
Leaning forward, she kissed him passionately. "God I love you Luke Danes."
When she pulled away, he watched as she sat back on the couch again. He watched as she ran her hands over the tiny outfit and noticed the tears continuing to fall down her cheeks.
"Lorelai?" He whispered nervously.
She let out a shaky breath before looking back up at him, "I'm…I'm not pregnant."
For a moment his heart sank, the prospect of having a baby had actually started to sound amazing to him. He wanted that…he wanted it so bad and it felt good to finally tell her that. It had felt even better to think that he might have it…but the tears in her eyes made him wonder if that wasn't what she wanted.
"Oh…Well…" He cleared his throat fidgeted in his seat, "Okay…well that's…that's good right?" His voice cracked with emotion as he spoke, "We…we can just return that and uh…I'll-"
"Luke…" She whispered reaching for his hand to stop him from standing up again, "Look at me."
His eyes moved up and down nervously before settling on her beautiful face, "Yeah?"
"I just…I thought I was. And I took a bunch of tests…they all came back negative. I guess I was just late…probably because I had stopped taking my pill when I was sick. Just…kind of screwed everything up." She whispered.
"Right. Okay." He said trying to smile as he listened to her. "No problem. We'll just…we'll be more careful next time."
He felt tense against her hand, and she pulled his arm closer to her, "Luke…"
"I should get up and finish your dinner…don't want you going to bed on an empty stomach." He said trying to stand up, she grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back down.
"Luke stop. Wait…" She said trying to get her head to catch up to her heart, "Can I say something please?"
Luke looked down at her before sighing and taking his spot again on the coffee table. "Sure."
"I…" She let out a shaky breath and sighed, "I just…I didn't know how to tell you. And I didn't want to really say anything until I was sure I was…and then…" She shrugged, "I don't know…I realized I wasn't and I just didn't think I should even bring it up."
"But why? Did you really think I would run if you were?" He asked leaning into her again.
She shook her head, "No. I mean not really…I just wasn't sure how you would react. I mean I knew you would never abandon our baby and me but…it's like you said…we've never really talked about that stuff. At least…not while we've been together…"
"We've talked about it before that?" He asked curiously.
"The Dance Marathon? Remember?" She asked nervously fidgeting in her seat, "You said…that if you ever found the right person you would consider having kids. Well actually you said there would be a discussion…" She paused and then laughed, "Actually I think you said it would be a short discussion but there would be a discussion…" She shrugged and looked down at the tiny outfit again, "And we never really had that discussion so I just…"
"You didn't think you were the right person…" He whispered softly.
She lifted her eyes to his again, nodding nervously as the tears brimmed in her eyes again, "Yeah…I didn't think I was the right person…"
He shook his head and reached for her hand. "God Lorelai…even then…you were the right person. The ONLY person." He said trying to make her understand. "I'm sorry if I made you doubt that…"
"I'm the right person?" She whispered softly to him.
Luke smiled and reached up to stroke her face gently, "Yes Lorelai. You are the right person. The only person…my person." He leaned forward to kiss her, "I love you."
She nuzzled his face slowly, "I love you too Luke. So much…I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
He shook his head and kissed her again, "It's okay. We just…we need to work on talking about that kind of stuff."
She nodded and rubbed his neck slowly, "Okay…"
He smiled and looked down at the outfit in her hands again, "I can return it tomorrow. I still have the receipt…" He laughed, "I thought about trying to find a small flannel but I couldn't find one in pink in case it was a girl so…"
She giggled, "A baby flannel…" She smiled up at him, "We'd need a tiny little backwards baseball cap too…"
Luke chuckled, "Of course…"
She smiled again and then looked back down at the outfit, "Actually…can we uh…can we keep it?" She asked looking up at him hopefully.
His fingers traced the edge of the fabric near hers hands, "Keep it?"
She nodded slowly, "Yeah…you know…for…" She let out a nervous laugh, "For our future baby?"
Luke sat up straighter and felt ten times lighter at her words, "For our future baby…" He said as the smile grew on his face.
She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him, "Yeah…for our future baby." She said with more confidence this time.
He kissed her back and nodded gently, "Yeah. We can do that…"
Her smile grew from ear to ear as she leaned forward to kiss him again, "Luke?"
His eyes were shut as he breathed in her scent, "Yeah?"
"I'm hungry…" She whispered against his lips.
The soft rumble of his laugh tickled against her lips, "Right…back to cooking. I know what I'm good for…"
She watched him stand up and walk back towards the stove and she sighed happily. She watched him walk around with ease for a few moments before leaning back against the couch again as she held the tiny outfit in her hands.
"Luke?" She called out to him again.
He turned the burner back on and looked back at her, "Yes?"
"We're going to make a really good looking kid…" She whispered to him.
Luke smiled and nodded in agreement. "Hell yeah we are…"
"Pink or blue flannel…one good looking kid." She teased.
He laughed and shook his head before turning back to the stove. She couldn't help but feel overjoyed as she held the outfit to her heart. She had never in her life felt as loved as she did in that moment…and the thought of her future didn't seem so damn scary anymore.