So i did a little thing that i'm kinda proud of as a little word challenge to myself!
It (surprisingly) didn't take me that long to write, so i'm happy.
Anyways, please enjoy.
Vacillate; to waver in mind or opinion; be indecisive or irresolute.
Word Count: 837 words
Characters: Jellal and Meredy (brotp)
He was motionless as he stood facing the sunset. The wind aimlessly tossing his cloak about his feet and throwing up swirls of dust to his face. She had seen him countless times like this before, and Meredy could tell there was one thing on his mind for it was the same thing that was constantly on her mind as well.
Had they done the right thing choosing this path to walk on? Could it ever make amends for the crimes of their past?
The questions would repeat in their heads constantly during those few brief moments of rest and the answers they quietly gave themselves would remain the same.
Yes was what they would say but sometimes the word seemed empty and nothing more than a hope filled lie.
The past could not be changed in any way, shape or form and even though the wounds had been healed long ago, they could still look back upon the scars they'd left on this world and on themselves with disgust and shame.
And their resolve-both her's and Jellal's- would falter.
They were tainted people trying to purify themselves with unclean hands. It was almost laughable really when thought was put into it. What they were trying to do was foolish.
Meredy moved to his side and lowered herself to the ground, pulling her legs close to her chest, ignoring how the dirt flew up at her action.
The breeze tickled her face and her eyes found the clouds, lazily moving towards the fading light without any care at all.
The sight made her heart clench. Freedom like that almost seemed unreal. She couldn't imagine what it must be like to live without a burden heavier than what you could bear weighing down on you.
The questions surfaced once more and this time, she couldn't bring herself to say yes. It felt so wrong to even think such a thing. She always forced herself to believe in her answer but now- now she couldn't even do just that.
A familiar hand dropped to her head as Jellal took a seat beside her, his position mirroring hers. His smile was soft but strained. A fake he donned time and time again in an attempt to hide his own warring feelings to protect her.
But she knew, she always knew.
His eyes would forever betray his thoughts and often she returned the smile-just as false as his own- to protect him.
This was not like those times.
A smile was what she tried for but tears were all that she could produce. Tears that had been restrained for far too long accompanied by wails that only spoke of half of her turmoil.
His smile disappeared the moment the first tear trailed its way down her cheek and when the first sob racked through her body, Jellal opened his mouth-perhaps to offer comfort- but was stopped by Meredy furiously shaking her head.
No words offered could console her now. His words would be just like her answer, empty and forced. After all, how could someone fix a problem that had no solution? He knew how pointless it was.
The hand atop her head that had first promised reassurance trembled and through her tears she saw how she must've looked to him.
Everything that he had held back-fear, pain, distress, agony- and even more was clear on his face as he cried alongside her. His tears flowed in silence, the violent shaking that came with them served the same purpose as her wails.
It seemed so useless, what they were trying to do and at this point they could no longer deny that fact, not when their emotions were written so clearly on their faces.
The darkness crawled to take its place in the sky, with the moon rising with its fellow stars. Their light turned the once white clouds a pale silver as the winds finally died down.
Everything around them had changed for the better, yet they had remained the same.
They were still there, side by side, weeping both in silence and aloud as they struggled together to find an answer for their torment.
The path they walked was frustrating.
It twisted and turned and was endless no matter which way they looked at it. At times it gave them what they wanted, the smallest taste of a life with no regrets, and then it was torn from their grip as they tried to hang on to it for too long.
The further they travelled on it, the more their spirits wavered. And more doubts to their cause began to emerge.
It was foolish. It was impossible. It was tiring. It was hopeless.
But it was all they could do to try and fix what was broken. For all the pain they had caused and the suffering they had endured thus far, they had to keep going no matter how much it hurt them.
Because maybe-just maybe- if they walked this road long enough, they both could get what they truly desired.