He couldn't recall when it first started happening, when he had first started to lose feeling in his right arm. There were moments when he thought he had just been imagining things, that his arm had fallen asleep for just a second. It was a normal and fleeting feeling, it was something that happened to everyone.
But, there were times when it seemed to last forever. It would go from only a few seconds to a few minutes. On the rare occasion, it would last for up to an hour. His arm would be limp, slack, just beside him and hanging like dead weight.
Arata panicked the first time it had gone on for so long. He was, thankfully, lucky enough it had happened in his own home, away from the prying eyes of others. He had grabbed his motionless arm, squeezed it, banged it against the wall. And he felt nothing. No pain. Just nothing. Eventually, feeling would return and his arm would move and be sore from his little experiments. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened, once his arm started moving again.
What was he supposed to do with this...situation? He didn't know. Who could he tell? No one. He didn't want to inform anyone of this. It was nothing, he thought. He wanted it to be nothing. He wanted it to be something he could deal with on his own.
Arata could only think of one reason for this strange phenomenon. It was the part of his body that had been in a different form the longest. It had been used so much, to gather data, to eat.
(The memories easily flooded back and it made him feel sick. He never liked remembering that time, his poor choices, what he'd done to others, what he had become. Sometimes he wished that he could have forgotten that incident.)
It sent chills down his spine to the memory, but he never let it show. He was grateful that his arm never went numb while he was around the others- how uncool would that be anyway? But he knew he couldn't keep it a secret for long. He liked to think, to hope that this would all just stop. That he'd be fine. That he'd be normal.
It made him think of Suedou, this phenomenon. Part of him wished that he was here, and he loathed that fact, but he would be the one to know about this supposed side effect. That man would have all the answers, wouldn't he? But hell if he ever turned to that man for answers again. Maybe it was better not think about him.
Walking around Broadway, he made a quick stop at the bookstore. His eyes skimmed over the spines of books, deciding if he should bother buying one here or not. Buying online was easier, safer from the watchful of eye of those who might be lingering around out here, but sometimes he liked picking up a book or two for himself. And one did seem to catch his eye- a new release! Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to buy one now, no one was around. So, he decides to reach out and grab one-
only to find his arm suddenly drop down to his side. It took only a moment for him to realize what had happened and panic was already beginning to rise in his chest. He would do his best to remain calm, take in breaths, glance around and hope no one had seen how the life in his arm had simply vanished. Arata could play it off as nothing, as if he hadn't been so interested in the book in the first place. He takes a step back, he could always return another day.
It's time for him to head home, wait for his arm to heal or recover or whatever. He just needs to leave and not run into anyone, especially not-
"Arata?"
-her.
Mentally, he curses. Of course Ami would be hanging around here. He had been hoping she'd be working on a case or something. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. Either way, he didn't want to speak with her right now.
"Hey," he starts, raising his left hand and waving. God, how he wishes his right hand could have been in his pocket. At least then he could pull off a more natural look.
"You know, I thought I'd be seeing you in Eden instead of out here," the girl replies with a small smile as she steps to him. "Although, I should have guessed you would stop by this place..." Her eyes begin to glance towards the shop before looking back to him.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks, slightly annoyed before shaking his head. The smile she wears becomes a mischievous one and he really has to press no further. "Never mind. Don't answer that. I didn't come here for anything. I'm going home."
"Eh? Already?" Her smile fades into a frown. "You don't want to hang out for a bit?"
"Hmph. I've got things to attend to."
"It's not more forum stuff, is it?" She asks before sighing. "You've been busy a lot recently...why not take a break?" Ami pauses before clapping her hands together. "I know where we could go! We can go and see Yuugo and Yuuko! I haven't gone to see them for a while. I've been meaning to since hearing Yuugo's improvements."
It's an offer he wants to say yes to and knows if he denies it, it'll really just make him look fishy. But he can't go and see them. Not with his arm like this. (And its taking so much effort to not just grab onto it and try and force feeling into it).
"Tomorrow," he states, thinking he should have given another response. "I really have to go."
Maybe he is in too much of a rush. It's weird, probably. He wouldn't put it past her to realize that something is wrong. For once, just this once, he hopes that she doesn't notice, doesn't bother to inquire further. And he knows that it's wishful thinking. But it doesn't stop him from walking past her, as fast as he can.
Ami grabs onto his arm, not that he knows or realizes until its too late. His body is stopped as his arm is held back and, oh, how he would have yanked it out of her grasp if he could. Arata gulps as he turns to look at the girl. She wears a look of confusion that turns to worry.
"You can let go now," he says and hopes she'll listen.
She doesn't.
"Arata..."
He knows that tone, knows that look. Ami is a smart girl. Maybe she can't put everything together, but she can put enough to get an idea of whats going on. He sees that she's squeezing his arm, trying to test out her theory. He wishes he could react to that.
"Ami, let go," he nearly demands.
She shakes her head and stares at him. He's given the silent treatment and the only thing he could do is sigh. If only he had remained home today. "Alright, fine. You win." He hated when she decided to use her silence instead of her voice. "Let's just...talk somewhere else."
Ami agrees with a nod and, after a moment, lets go of his arm and simply watches it...fall to his side. It was so strange seeing that happen, but she says nothing on it. Arata leads them to the cafe. It's not the most private place, but it's quiet, no one is there, just the two of them (as well as the usual owner and worker). It's...awkward at first. He's not sure how to start, but he's certain that she already has questions she'd like to ask.
"Your arm..."
"..."
He's quiet, trying to put his words together. But, it's not easy. No one knows about this, no one is supposed to know about this. But...she will. Arata takes in a breath before giving her an explanation.
"This happens occasionally. It started since things have gone back to normal, or what normal should be. I don't really know the reason for it, but I can only guess it's a side effect from being an Eater. And before you ask, nothing else has happened to me besides this." And I hope nothing else ever will. (The fear or some immense and sudden hunger could overpower him is another thing that comes to mind but that's not something he's willing to talk about today.) "I'll be able to move it again, but for now...it's kind of like this..."
Ami is silent, looking back and forth between her friend and his arm. "Why haven't you said anything about this before?"
"You expect me to tell you about something like this? It's not the easiest thing you know..." How does one even bring this up? In a world that had been reconstructed? And it's not like they had willingly become an Eater as he had.
"But you could have told us- any of us. We're your friends, remember?"
"I don't need the friendship speech..."
"You're not alone."
"I told you, I don't need it."
Ami gives him a stern look, practically telling him that he needs the reminder that he can lean on his friends for anything. This is what he gets for thinking he could handle it on his own. He sighs and looks down, putting his hand against his head. Was it wrong of him to keep it a secret? Probably. But how could he make the others worry over him- again?
This was all because of his stupid mistake. All because he wanted to be strong and had to fall prey to that man's plans. God, why couldn't he have just stuck by their side instead? This would never have happened if that were the case.
"Arata."
He hears her voice and lifts his head. While he had been lost in thought, she had reached over and lifted his dead arm onto the table, placing his hand in between hers. "No matter what, you have us to turn to. We've been through a lot together and you know we'll help your sorry butt out any day. And if you don't come to us again, then," she pauses and lifts her hand, making it into a fist. "I'll be here to punch some sense into you."
Arata stares at her for a moment, cracks a smile and shakes his head. "God, you sound so lame right now..." He couldn't believe her dumb little speech was actually working. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't want to get socked by you again."
Ami smiles to his response, letting her hand drop back onto his. "So, then you'll let us help you figure out a way to stop this?"
"I can't really say no after that. Just...don't tell Nokia right away. The last thing I need to hear is her going off about this."
"You know she means well."
"She does so in an annoying manner."
"And you know she's going to complain about being the last one to being informed about this."
"Ugh..." Arata groans out as he hears that. What a pain this was all turning out to be. But she was right. Now he was just hoping that he wouldn't regret any of this.