A/N: So yeah, this story is ruling my mind and I want to clear it out so I can go on and continue my multi-chapter fix… yeah, I suck… with all those procrastinating and stuff… R&R if you want guys! =3
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am not making money to do this story because if I did, I would be rich now, but NO! I don't make money; I'm still middle-classed until now so I don't own Harry Potter.
Summary: Severus can't take it anymore. He goes to apologize to Lily about what happened in Fifth year for one last time before he will just give it all up… but it's too late to do so.
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"I'm sorry."
"I'm not interested."
"I'm sorry!"
"Save your breath."
Lily gave her former best friend a cold glare outside the Gryffindor tower, just in front of the portrait entrance.
"I only came down here because Mary said you were threatening to sleep here." Lily said to her ex-best friend, who tried to apologize over and over again for saying that word.
"I would… but then, I didn't mean to call you that!" Severus told Lily but she didn't seem convinced "It just-"
"Slipped out?" Lily responded with no pity in her voice "You called every one of my birth Mudblood, Severus!"
Severus just stayed silent as Lily continued "So why should I be any different?" Lily gave her old best friend a contemptuous look and disappeared inside the portrait as Severus just stood there, not knowing what to do, mumbling "I'm sorry…" before he retreated slowly back to the Slytherin common room.
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It's been six years… six years since that horrible day happened… the day he called her with that word. Severus just can't seem to get over it and has been apologizing for three months to Lily but all of it, including his efforts to be just civil with Lily, was ignored. After a while in Fifth year, he stopped apologizing for a while when he thought that after a few months, (or years if he must wait that long)of waiting, Lily would eventually just forgive him and be civil or friends, but no… he is wrong. Especially when he saw that Lily is now starting to warm up towards Potter and his friends that she began hanging out with them and eventually sending him glares in the Sixth year!
Seventh year haven't been great as well. Every time he wanted to talk to Lily and apologize, she just kept on ignoring him. But then, this event, this… this unbearable event (for him) was too much. Lily has finally said 'Yes' to Potter and now, Severus didn't know what to do.
Graduation happened and they still ignored each other. When he heard about Lily's marriage to James Potter, he felt angry and… confused? He didn't know as his emotions were mixed that time.
Then he joined the Order and was appointed to be a spy for them to gather information from the Dark Lord to be reported to the said secret society. They, however, didn't know that Peter Pettigrew is also a spy but in the other way around.
Severus' train of thoughts currently was broken by the sound of the Dark Lord's voice.
"Ah Snape, what do you think of attacking the Potters and killing their child tonight?"
Lord Voldemort was currently telling his 'loyal' death eaters about their attack to the Potters after one death eater told them where the family is hiding but Severus wasn't listening and just randomly replied "Err… good, perhaps." Then he realized what kind of words that went out of his mouth when Voldemort turned away and began laughing loudly and evilly at the thought of the boy who is supposed to destroy him in the end would be dead… tonight.
"No…" Severus thought, making the biggest mistake, much bigger than what he did six years ago "She'll be killed… with her son and her husband if she doesn't let Voldemort just destroy her son."
Voldemort exited the room where they had the meeting and prepared to go to the Potters' residence. Before Lord Voldemort would go out and end the Potters' son's life, Severus caught up with him and begged on his knees.
"Please, my Lord, spare the child's mother!" he cried
Lord Voldemort just laughed, as if the idea was a very foolish one
"You really thought that I would let the Mudblood live?" said Voldemort, looking at Severus through his slit-snake-like red eyes
"Please, master" begged Severus "I would do anything! Just spare her! She would make a good ally."
Then Lord Voldemort gave Severus a curt nod before saying "Very well, if she steps aside, I will spare her…"
Severus let out a sigh of relief but then, he doubted that Lily would step aside and let her son get killed or maybe the fact that Voldemort would let her live if she does step aside… "But that doesn't sound… Lily." Thought Severus, thinking about everything, his decisions, his plans, tell the Potters everything and finally decided to take this chance to apologize and tell her about what would happen to them and get away safely… before Voldemort would arrive at the Potters' house.
He immediately went to the nearest Apparition Point and apparated to Godric's Hollow, the village where the Potters currently live in.
Severus walked and walked as quickly as he can to find the Potters' home but when he found the location and arrived there… it was too late. Too late for everything… he was too late to
The house was destroyed. Dark and empty it is.
"No…" he muttered under his breath as he ran towards the now dark house and the roof is just broken. He wondered why though, but it didn't matter for now…
He entered the broken door of the now cold and silent home. He saw James, motionless on the floor without a wand, before Severus saw it a few feet away. He then went upstairs, praying that Lily should be alive… as well as her son if he was spared.
"L-Lily?" he called out quietly but receiving no answer. He saw a room that has a broken door and walked slowly and carefully towards it.
He looked inside and then his eyes widened in shock and disbelief; Lily was dead on the floor yet her son was alive and crying for his mum.
Severus tried to look around to see where the Dark Lord had went but it looks like Voldemort couldn't be found anywhere. He immediately dashed towards Lily as he tried to see if she is actually dead or not and unfortunately for him, she is dead. He knelt near her body, held her hand and before he knew it, tears have fallen from his eyes. The unshed tears that he held in during his school days when Lily ignored him all the time came falling down his face.
"Y-you can't be dead… Lily, I-I'm sorry." He whispered to the corpse of the woman he loved but then, it really was too late. Lily can't hear him, nor would she respond to him. He looked at her son, whose eyes are exactly like his mother's, and he has a scar shaped like a lightning on his forehead. Severus shook his head, not believing that this actually happened.
Suddenly, Severus heard a loud voice coming from down stairs. He let go of Lily's hand and casting a last glance at Harry and apparated away… before anyone would see him there.
Three months later…
Three months have passed since Lily and James' death and he doesn't know where their son is and thought that he could be with his relatives, but he didn't care about that for now. He looked around to see if there is anyone close to the Potters are there and was thankful when he saw no one around. Severus put three white lilies on Lily's grave and then silently watched the snow fall on the ground.
"Lily… I'm so sorry." He said, his voice full of regret, wondering if he hadn't said the word 'Mudblood', he wouldn't be here, grieving for the loss of his only best friend during his childhood years…
He sighed before turning away and apparating to somewhere only he would know.
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A/N: So how does it sound? o3o Constructive Criticism is always welcome! =D But I would like to know if I did everything or, hopefully, most of it right. I don't know if the characters in this story sounded a little OOC and I am terrible with evil lines that whilst typing Voldemort's dialogues, I have to shorten it (and it seems like it's just nonsense speech) D= Anyway… hope you liked it! ^_^
P.S. I would like to rewrite this if it turned out… a bit bad.